OAKPODCAST TRASH GOES HERE

Holly: Don't swear in front of Ivy.

Oak: (turns to Ivy) I'm sorry!

HOLLY: Not a robot.

OAK: Girl!

HOLLY: Not a girl.

OAK: And straight up hottie!

Holly's phone: (rings)

Leia and Ivy: (singing extremely badly) One, don't pick up the phone! You know he's only calling because he's drunk and alone—

Holly: Hello?

Leia and Ivy: (YELLING) TWO, DON'T LET HIM IN—

Holly: Are we still on for meeting up tomorrow morning?

Leia and Ivy: (STILL YELLING) THREE, DON'T BE HIS FRIEND—

Holly: Yeah, sounds good, just call me when you're ready. :) Yeah, you too.

Holly

She seems like an easy target, but she’s still a highly trained Marine and could definitely kick the average Joe’s ass. Also, if she happens to lose, she’ll send your internet history to your mom, AND Oak will come to your house and beat you up.

Odds: maybe don’t

Oak

You’ll probably lose, but there’s a 99% chance Oak started the fight and will feel bad and then buy you a beer to make up for it. If Oak started the fight and you win, Holly will buy you a beer. (But if you start AND win the fight, she’ll put a nasty virus on your computer.)

Odds: did you really have a choice anyway?

Willard

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! He’s a Marine but he’s old and not in as good a shape as he used to be. Wear some brass knuckles and kick his ass!!! Holly and Oak will tag team him with you if he knocks you out.

Odds: who cares just do it!!!

Camellia

She doesn’t really fight so much as slit people’s throats if she thinks they’re about to start shit, so........

Odds: Only if you want to die

Evergreen

He’ll probably let you use him as a punching bag and give you encouraging feedback on your technique. But if you’re mean about it, you might hurt his feelings, and then you’ll have to contend with Camellia.

Odds: you definitely won’t win, but you might get a good fighting lesson?

Leia Janeway

Why the fuck are you trying to fight a cat?!

Odds: what is wrong with you?!?!

Ivy

DO NOT!!! She will fuck up your day and then all six of the above characters will put their differences aside and team up to make sure your body is never found just for trying!!! Do not!!!!!!!!