how do you find the energy to do so many things!? :0
I think I have cultivated this joie de vivre since I was young and felt like I wanted so much more than I had… I was a very observant but quiet child, I felt alone and I didn’t enjoy that. I watched people around me, and shows and films, and saw things on the internet that intrigued me and I wanted to do them. From simply having a friend group to traveling to working outside.. things that were not naturally a part of my life until I tried to get them after seeing others looking happy doing them. I was alone and sad in my room at my desk looking at peoples pictures on myspace or facebook and I wanted that happy group picture on top of a mountain. (Blah).
When I left my hometown for college I was able to expand my self and my life and my opportunities. by going for it I found other people who wanted, pushed, did more, and found ways to get themselves there. I learned from all of them. I watched and asked people how they did things. I remember my friend made us quick egg and cheese sandwiches one morning before an early hike and packed them so we could eat on the go and still get to the trail early and then I copied her every time I had to wake up early for a hike, and before that I barely knew how to even cook eggs..
It’s funny to receive this question right now when I feel like, while I do a lot at work, and that is the nature of my job and I think I got this job because I am such a generalist/can do a little bit of a lot of things,,, afterwards I pretty much just watch tv and go to sleep early, and feel like I dont do much.
I guess the answer is also just like. Years and years of doing a whole lot. Practice you could say. Because I had friends who motivated me and places I wanted to go and activities I wanted to try. And the energy exchange rate was much easier when I was younger like I didn’t care about driving home two hours from sleeping on a friend’s couch leaving at 5 to arrive at work by 8 am if it meant I had a great weekend doing cool things with cool people.
But I do be tired a lot don’t get it twisted I mostly write and share about the moments when I am doing a lot. Sometimes I write it all down here to like, prove it to myself, because I also have this inner critic that tells me I’m never enough, and this other part of me where I have to prove her wrong. I am trying to find a balance there, like not do so much I get burnt out in a few years, do things that I feel called to that energize me, and find time to rest in between them.