youtube fanfiction

“Has anyone seen Ryland?” Shane asks as he walks into the living room. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“I haven’t either,” Garrett replies as he looks up at Shane. “Which is kind of odd.”

“Ooh, wait, I think he was going to the bathroom last I saw him. But, that was like an hour ago. I’ll go and make sure he’s okay,” Morgan says before standing up.

“Thanks Morgan,” Shane says before sitting on the couch.

Morgan makes her way to the bathroom. She knocks on the door when she sees that the door is shut. “Hey, Ryland. Are you still in there?” She calls. “Shane’s been looking for you.”

“I-I’m fine! I’ll be out in a minute!” Ryland calls back from inside.

Morgan sighs, and starts to turn around, but quickly stops when she hears sniffing coming from inside. She frowns, and then starts turning the doorknob. She’s relieved when the door opens. She doesn’t want her brother to be left alone if he’s upset. She pushes the door open, and finds Ryland sitting on the bathroom floor. He’s obviously been crying as his eyes are red and puffy. “Ryland?”

Ryland looks up and takes a deep breath when he sees Morgan.

“What happened?” Morgan asks as she shuts the door and walks over to Ryland. “Did you get sick?”

Ryland sniffs and wipes away his leftover tears. “The past couple of days. I’ve been getting sick,” he says. “I thought it would go away, but it hasn’t. Every morning I’ve been getting sick. I… I don’t know what to do. I think something’s wrong with me.” He looks up at Morgan.

“Why didn’t you tell someone?” Morgan asks, frowning.

“I didn’t want Shane to worry,” Ryland says. “He’s already got enough on his plate right now.”

“Come on, you know Shane would literally drop everything he’s doing right now if he knew you were sick,” Morgan says. “You need to go to the doctors and find out what’s wrong. It could be serious.”

“Okay, fine. I will. But, don’t tell Shane. I don’t want him to know anything until I know what’s wrong,” Ryland says. “He doesn’t need to be worrying about this when he’s got a million other things going on.”

Morgan rolls her eyes. “Come on, let’s get you up. You should take some Tylenol or something for now, until we can get you to the doctor,” she says. “I’ll go get you some, and you call the doctor.”

“Thanks,” Ryland mumbles. He watches as Morgan leaves, before pulling out his phone.

By the time Morgan comes back with a glass of water and Tylenol, Ryland is just finishing on the phone. She’s relieved to see that Ryland actually did call the doctor.

“Tomorrow morning sounds great. Thank you so much,” Ryland says before hanging up the phone.

“Tomorrow, then?” Morgan asks as she hands Ryland the Tylenol to Ryland and sets the glass down.

“Yeah, tomorrow at 9 o’clock in the morning. I wanted the earliest appointment,” Ryland says before popping the pill into his mouth. “I’ll need someone to distract Shane if he’s awake.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that. And, I wanna go with you to our appointment,” Morgan adds.

Ryland looks over at her. “You don’t have to…”

“Shut up. Yes, I do. You don’t have to go through this alone, whatever this is,” Morgan says, sighing softly. “You should go downstairs, otherwise Shane will start looking for you himself.”

“Thanks,” Ryland mumbles. He pours the rest of the water in the sink, before following Morgan out of the bathroom. He hopes he won’t get sick again. He’s already spent the entire morning on the bathroom floor.

Ryland takes the glass to the kitchen and washes his hands, before heading out to the living room, finally. He sees Shane and Garrett both on their laptops while Morgan is on her phone.

Shane glances over and is surprised when he sees Ryland.

“Hey,” Ryland walks over to him and flops down next to him on the couch.

“Finally. Where’ve you been all morning?” Shane asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Sorry. I was in the shower and got lost in my thoughts,” Ryland says, which is partly true at least.

“All morning?” Shane asks. “Who showers literally all morning?”

Some of us actually like to be clean,” Ryland says, laughing when Shane shoves him. He reaches over and grabs onto Shane’s arm, cuddling him. He really wishes he could tell Shane what’s going on, because he’s kind of terrified and he can really use some comfort from Shane, but he can’t tell him until he knows what’s going on. He doesn’t want Shane to worry about him being sick.

Shane raises his eyebrows as he looks down at Ryland, before shrugging and pulling him closer.

The next morning, Ryland gets up bright and early to leave the house for his appointment. He leaves even before Morgan wakes up because he doesn’t want her to go with him. He knows that she cares, which he appreciates. But, he wants to do this on his own.

After the appointment, Ryland finds out that the reason he’s been getting sick is because… he’s pregnant, which is the last thing he expected. Of course, he’s heard all kinds of rumors lately that men were able to become pregnant. He just didn’t believe it. It seems almost impossible for a man to get pregnant.

This does make things easier, with them being a gay couple and not having to go through the adoption.

But still, how the hell is Ryland supposed to tell Shane that he’s pregnant?

They’ve always talked about having kids together, but they were waiting until they were both ready.

When Ryland gets home, Morgan immediately runs up to him and bombards him with questions.

“Why the hell did you leave without me? We were gonna go together!” Morgan exclaims.

Ryland ignores her and walks over to the table, placing the Starbucks drinks on the counter.

“You shouldn’t have gone to that alone,” Morgan continues, following Ryland. “I wanted to be there…”

“I’m pregnant,” Ryland says as he looks over at Morgan, instantly causing Morgan to shut up. “The reason I’ve been getting sick is because I’m pregnant. Bet that’s the last damn thing you expected to hear.”

“P-Pregnant?” Morgan asks, her eyes widening with shock. “How is that even possible? You’re a…”

“A man. I know what I am Morgan,” Ryland snaps. “I don’t know how it’s possible… Science, it’s weird.”

“Holy shit,” Morgan mumbles, before walking over to Ryland and hugging him tightly. “I don’t know whether to congratulate you or not.” She pulls away and looks at her brother. “What are you…? I mean…”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Ryland mumbles. “We aren’t ready for kids.”

“I mean, how far along are you? Jesus, this is weird. I didn’t even know men can get pregnant!”

Ryland chuckles. “Neither did I, but it’s apparently a thing now. The doctor said they just recently discovered it even though it’s been around for years. They’re still doing research on it. I was the first man he met that could actually get pregnant. That’s how rare it is,” he says. “And, I’m five weeks.”

“Oh, so you still have plenty of time to think about what’s going to happen then,” Morgan says.

“That’s not what I’m worried about. What the hell am I going to tell Shane?” Ryland asks.

“Tell me what?”

Ryland looks over and his eyes widen when he sees Shane walking into the kitchen, obviously just waking up. Shane doesn’t wake up until later usually so he’s surprised to see him awake so early.

Morgan looks over at Ryland nervously. “Um, okay. I’ll let you talk to him alone,” she says before quickly walking out of the kitchen, glancing at Shane before she leaves.

“What is she talking about?” Shane asks as he walks over to Ryland. “Where did you go?”

“Shane,” Ryland begins, sighing. “I think we should go sit down and talk about this.”

“Why?” Shane asks. “Oh my God, you’re not going to tell me you’re dying. Are you?”

“Not exactly,” Ryland says. “But, I still think you’ll want to sit down when I tell you this.” He grabs Shane, and then they walk to the living room and sit down on the couch.

“You’re starting to scare me a little. What’s going on?” Shane asks, looking over at Ryland.

“So, yesterday…” Ryland bites his lip nervously before looking at Shane. “I lied about the shower. The reason I was gone all morning is because I was getting sick. Just… constantly throwing up. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. I thought it was just an upset stomach. But, it wasn’t.”

“You were getting sick?” Shane asks, frowning. “I would have been there for you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for lying about it. I just didn’t want to say anything until I knew what was going on. Well… I do know what’s going on. I’m not dying, nor am I sick. Technically. I went to the doctors today. You know how we always talk about kids?” Ryland asks nervously.

“Yeah,” Shane replies. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well,” Ryland chuckles nervously. “We’re gonna be having kids sooner than we planned.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Shane asks, confused. “Will you just tell me what’s going on?”

“Shane, I’m pregnant,” Ryland finally says, looking up at his boyfriend. “I’m pregnant, and it’s yours.”

Shane stares at him, unsure of how to respond to Ryland telling him that he’s pregnant.

“I-I know it’s shocking news. I was shocked too. I didn’t know men could get pregnant until literally today. We weren’t planning for kids until later on, but this is a big deal, Shane. I need you more than ever,” Ryland says, taking a deep breath as his eyes begin to water.

“Holy shit,” Shane mumbles before grabbing Ryland and wrapping his arms around him.

Ryland instantly buries his face in Shane’s chest, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not…”

“Ryland, shut up,” Shane chuckles, pulling him away but keeping his arms around Ryland still. “Yeah, we weren’t going to have kids for awhile. But, who cares? We’ll just have to prepare sooner than we thought. I mean, I’m not gonna leave you and have you deal with this baby alone. I’m not a cruel person.”

“Oh my God. I know you’re not,” Ryland reaches up to kiss him, before hugging him again. “I know you wouldn’t leave me but I still couldn’t help but have those scary thoughts in the back of my mind.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that,” Shane mumbles. “I’m gonna be there for you. I promise.”

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” Ryland laughs, tears falling out of his eyes. He pulls away and looks up at Shane, taking a deep breath. “I mean, we’re going to be dads, and we don’t have to go through adoption rejections, or use a surrogate. I’m sure Morgan will be thrilled about that.”

Dan had to admit it. He wasn’t exactly the most festive person when it came to the holiday’s.

Did he listen to the Christmas music? Sure. He even had a Christmas playlist on Spotify. Did he put up a tree every year? Yeah, he did. But, that’s about it when it came to his personal Christmas festivities.

So, it was pretty shocking when Dan actually agreed to fly all the way to Los Angeles from England.

There is only one reason why Dan agreed to go to this ‘Christmas party’. And that’s because he heard that AmazingPhil is going to be at this party. Dan has been a big fan of AmazingPhil for many years, and recently he just started talking to him on twitter. They’ve Skyped a couple times even.

They’ve never met in person because Phil lives in L.A. while Dan lives in London, England. They’re both pretty busy with their YouTube careers so it’s pretty impossible to plan trips to meet each other.

@DanielHowell: just landed L.A!!! Can’t wait to explore L.A :)

221 replies 1.2k retweets 1k likes

@AmazingPhil: @DanielHowell see u soon ;)

559 replies 2.1k replies 1.4k likes

Dan’s not going to lie. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that tweet from Phil.

They’re so close to each other, yet still so far away. Dan just can’t wait to squeeze the hell out of Phil when he sees them. They’ve been talking to each other for almost a year now, and they’re finally going to meet each other in person. And, not to mention, Phil has been Dan’s idol since before they start talking!

It’s quite a special time as well. Christmas is a big holiday to most people.

New Message: Zoe S.: Small change of plans, we want everyone to wear Ugly Christmas Sweaters, so make sure you wear one!

Dan rolls his eyes as soon as he reads the message.

Message Sent: Dan Howell: gee, thanks zoe. Now i have to go out and buy a bloody ugly christmas sweater!!

New Message: Zoe S.: Come on, Dan. It’s time to get in the Christmas spirit :)

Dan sighs as he places his phone on his bed. He looks around his hotel room.

The Christmas party is still two days from now.

That gives Dan two days to prepare himself before he finally meets Phil in real life. It’s going to be fine. Totally fine. He’s just meeting one the biggest YouTubers in the world. No big deal.

**

Dan had been texting Phil nonstop since he arrived in L.A. They could have easily met up before the party but that would have totally ruined the suspense. They only Skyped once for a short amount of time.

Now, it’s time for the Christmas party to begin. Dan managed to find an Ugly Christmas Sweater. He didn’t want to look totally ridiculous so he just got a basic one with a reindeer face on it, with a light up nose.

“Dan, I’m so glad you could make it!” Zoe smiles as she pulls Dan into a hug.

“Yeah. I’m surprised I made it at all. Christmas is totally not my thing,” Dan chuckles.

“Not surprising,” Zoe pulls away from the hug and looks up at Dan with a smile. “Have you seen Phil yet?”

“No, I haven’t even seen him yet” Dan groans and shakes his head. “Is he here yet? I’m so nervous, and like totally freaking out about it. Does my hair look okay? Do I have anything on my face?”

“Dan!” Zoe laughs. “Your hair looks fine, and no… you don’t have anything on your face.”

“He’s freaking out, isn’t he?” Alfie asks as he walks up beside Zoe.

“Okay, can you blame me? I’ve been watching Phil for years. I’m shocked he even replied to me on twitter and now we’re like… messaging each other on Skype every day,” Dan pouts.

“Aw, this is so cute,” Zoe smiles. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Are you and Phil like, a thing now? Are you guys dating or something?” Alfie asks curiously.

“Alf!” Zoe hisses as she hits his arm playfully. “You can’t just ask someone that.”

Dan blushes, and shakes his head. “No, we’re not dating. We’ll probably never date. I’m so much younger than he is. He probably wants to date someone so much older and mature than I am,” he mumbles.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Dan! Age is but a number as long as you’re not like fifty years apart or something. But, Alfie and I aren’t the same age. I’m older than him and we’re doing just fine,” Zoe tells him.

“It’s true. Trust us, age isn’t a big deal,” Alfie agrees with a nod.

“Thanks guys. I’m going to go get some punch to help calm myself down,” Dan says.

“That’s a good idea,” Zoe nods. “Don’t worry too much. Just be yourself. Phil’s going to love you.”

Dan blushes even more, and then he walks over to the table where the food and drinks are.

“Aw, bless him. Dan’s so nervous about meeting Phil,” Zoe says.

“Well, I would be nervous too. Dan’s looked up to him for so long,” Alfie says. “They’re going to be fine.”

Dan waited around for about ten minutes. He’s talked to a couple of other youtubers though he didn’t really pay attention to them because he was too busy looking for Phil.

“He’s doing this to me on purpose,” Dan mumbles as he takes another sip of his punch.

“How’s the punch?”

Dan looks over and gasps as soon as he recognizes the face. “Oh my God!”

Phil laughs and pulls Dan into a hug. “It’s so good to see you in person,” he whispers.

“You’re real,” Dan mumbles as he buries his face in Phil’s chest, hugging him as tightly as possible.

“I’m real,” Phil smiles. “Oh, and Peej is filming this for me.”

“I hate you,” Dan mumbles, earning a laugh from Phil. “I should have known you would film this!”

“Of course I would. You think I was going to miss this important moment?” Phil asks.

Dan looks up at Phil and smiles, tears in his eyes. “It’s good to know that you are a real person,” he says.

“It would be quite weird if I wasn’t a real person, huh?” Phil says. “But at least I have my videos for proof.”

“I guess so,” Dan smiles as he looks up at Phil. “I just can’t believe you’re here. In person.”

Phil grins. “Well, you better believe it. And, we get to spend a whole week together!”

“And we have to film at least one video or else our viewers will hate us forever,” Dan adds.

“True. We’ll film on one of our days together. I have a few fun ideas that we could do together,” Phil says.

“Oh, God-” Dan rolls his eyes. “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

“I’d hate to break this up-”

Dan looks over and he smiles when he sees PJ, another YouTuber that he’s looked up for a long time and has never met in person until today. He started watching PJ through Phil and absolutely loved his videos. They were so creative and so different from other YouTubers.

“PJ!” Dan let’s go of Phil and walks over to hug PJ. “You’re real too!”

PJ chuckles as he hugs Dan back. “Yeah, I’m real. I promise. It’s good to finally meet you Dan,” he says.

Dan and Phil spend the entire week together. They spend their last day filming a ‘who’s more likely to’ video, because Phil thought it would be a fun way for them to get to know each other.

“I don’t want to leave,” Dan says as he looks over at Phil, once they’re finished filming.

“I don’t want you to leave either,” Phil frowns. “Too bad you live in England.”

“Maybe… I could expand my trip?” Dan suggests. “Maybe I could stay in L.A. a little bit longer.”

“No, come on Dan. You don’t have to do that,” Phil says. “You have a life back in England.”

“Not that much of a life. Come on. Let me stay a little longer. We can even film some more videos and… we can explore L.A. some more. There’s a lot more that I wanted to see,” Dan says.

Phil looks over at Dan and smiles. “Okay. Let’s do it,” he says with a grin on his face.

“I don’t know…” Dan bites his lip as he stands with his boyfriend outside his house.

“Babe, it’s been six months. We can’t hide forever and I don’t want to hide forever. I want to be able to show the world how much I love you,” Phil says softly as he gently rubs Dan’s arm.

“But, they hardly appreciate me wearing flower crowns and girly clothes. I don’t know how they feel about gay people and you’re like all… punk and stuff. Not that I’m complaining because I love your punk stuff,”

Phil laughs. “Let’s just take this slow, alright? Introduce me to your parents, and we’ll take it from there…”

“This is gonna end badly, I just know it is,” Dan whines, looking up at Phil.

“It’s gonna be fine. I’ll be right there with you and I promise I’m not going to let anything happen to you,,” Phil whispers before kissing Dan a few times.

Dan takes a deep breath and slowly nods. “Okay,” he says.

“Okay,” Phil smiles. “Shall we go inside and tell your parents now?”

“Yeah,” Dan nods and grabs Phil’s hand, and leads the way inside. He looks around for a moment but doesn’t see his parents anywhere, and then he shuts the door. “Mum! Dad!” He shouts.

“We’re in the kitchen!”

Dan looks over at Phil with worry in his eyes. “Phil…”

“Everything will be fine,” Phil whispers. “You’re not doing this alone. We’re in this together.”

Dan hugs Phil tightly. “I love you no matter what happens,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” Phil says as he hugs Dan back.

“I’m glad you’re here with me. I wouldn’t have been able to do this by myself,” Dan sighs and then he finally pulls away from the hug and holds Phil’s hands as he leads the way to the kitchen, where his parents were currently cooking dinner. “Mum? Dad?” Dan asks once he enters the kitchen.

“Yes, dear?” Mrs. Howell asks as she looks over at Dan.

“Did I hear you talking to someone, Dan?” Mr. Howell asks.

“Well… um, yes,” Dan answers nervously. “There’s someone that I would like you to meet.”

“And who would that be?” Mrs. Howell asks as she looks up at Dan. “Oh-” Her eyes widen when she sees Phil standing next to Dan. A taller boy with tattoos covering his arms and a punkish look, which is the complete opposite of who Dan is. “And, who’s your um… friend?”

Mr. Howell finally turns around and raises his eyebrows.

“This is Phil,” Dan says as he points at Phil. “He’s not my friend. He’s my… well, he’s my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Mrs. Howell asks as her eyes widen even more.

“Are you out of your mind, Daniel?” Mr. Howell asks.

Dan cringes at the name Daniel. He always has preferred to be called Dan but his parents always calls him ‘Daniel’ just to annoy him. “It’s really not that big of a deal…” Dan mumbles.

“Are you trying to tell us that you’re gay?” Mr. Howell asks.

“Well, what did you expect from someone like me? I wear flower crowns and pink sweaters…”

“Dan, we talked about this,” Phil whispers. “Wearing certain clothes and colors doesn’t define you.”

“Not now Phil,” Dan whispers back as he gently grabs Phil’s arm.

“There’s absolutely no way we’re going to allow you to date boys,” Mrs. Howell snaps.

Dan frowns. “Why can’t I be allowed to date boys?”

“Because it’s wrong,” Mr. Howell adds quickly.

“Says who?” Dan scoffs. “I don’t care what you guys say. I’m happy and that’s all that should matter.”

“Dan, being gay is wrong and we can’t allow you to date a boy who’s covered in tattoos!”

“Sorry, but what do my tattoos have to do with anything?” Phil asks.

“You’re a punk, aren’t you?” Mr. Howell asks as he crosses his arms against his chest.

“Dad!” Dan yells with frustrated. “Haven’t you have heard of don’t judge a book by its cover? No, of course you haven’t because you judge me because of what I wear.”

“Dan,” Phil whispers. “I don’t want to come in between your family. Maybe I should go…”

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Mr. Howell says. “You should go.”

“No,” Dan snaps, throwing a glare towards his dad. “You can stay.”

“Daniel,” Mrs. Howell warns. “You’re going to get in serious trouble if you don’t listen to your father.”

“Dan, I think I should go. We can talk at school tomorrow,” Phil whispers.

“Phil-” Dan frowns as he looks up at his boyfriend.

“It’ll be fine,” Phil whispers, gently kissing Dan’s forehead. He takes a deep breath and turns to look at Dan’s parents. “I just want you to know that I love your son, no matter what you say about me or him. I care about him and all I want for him is to be happy. Perhaps you shouldn’t care about his sexuality, and you should care about his happiness. But, what do I know? I’m just a punk with tattoos.”

Dan bites his lip nervously as he looks at his parents and Phil back and forth.

“See you at school, Dan,” Phil says, squeezing his hand once.

“I love you,” Dan says as he watches Phil leave the house. He looks back over at his parents and sighs. “Why can’t you just let me be happy for once in my life?” He turns around an runs out of the kitchen, and quickly runs up the stairs to his bedroom, and slams his door shut.

It’s an hour later when Dan’s mum walked up to Dan’s bedroom. She knows on the door before opening it and walking inside. She looks up and sighs when she sees Dan curled up with his headphones on.

“Dan!” She yells, to get his attention.

Dan pulls off one of his headphones and looks up at his mum. “What?” He snaps.

“Don’t talk to me that way, I’m still your mother. Dinner is ready,” Mrs. Howell tells him.

“I’m not hungry. I’ll have a snack later,” Dan mumbles.

“Dan,” Mrs. Howell sighs. “We should talk about this…”

“What is there to talk about, mum?” Dan asks, sitting up. “I’m dating a boy, a boy who I love and a boy who loves me like no one else has ever. He makes me happy. You and dad judged him.”

“And how long have you been dating this boy?” Mrs. Howell asks.

“A little over six months. We met at school, and he was the new kid,” Dan explains.

“I don’t care that you’re… gay. I kind of expected it from you. It’s just gonna take us awhile to see you with a boy. I know your dad loves you. Just give him time,” Mrs. Howell says.

“Do you really think he would give Phil a chance? I know he’s like the complete opposite of me but we have a lot in common and we bonded so well together. I love him a lot,” Dan says.

“Wow, Dan. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about someone like this,”

“That’s because I don’t have any friends. Nobody wants to be friends with the gay, loser boy at school,”

“Well, it looks like Phil gave you a chance,” Mrs. Howell smiles.

“Yeah, he did,” Dan blushes. “And I don’t want to lose him. Will you please talk to dad?”

“I will try my best but it’s hard knocking sense into that man sometimes,” Mrs. Howell chuckles. “Now come down for dinner. You’re already skinny enough.”

“Mum,” Dan groans. “I eat plenty, thank you very much.”

“I don’t care, come eat. Dinner is ready,” Mrs. Howell says before walking out of his bedroom.

****

It takes weeks before Dan’s dad finally gives in. He and Dan have a long talk. Dan knows that his dad is still a little uncomfortable but it takes time and Dan is just thankful that he’s trying.

“So, you talked to your dad?” Phil asks as he sits on the couch in the living with Dan at Dan’s house.

“Mhm,” Dan nods. “I think he’s finally starting to understand. He doesn’t care that I wear more… girly clothes, and he promises to buy me anything I want from now on. He still doesn’t exactly get it but I don’t expect him to. He’s not me. And, the whole gay thing is still a work in progress too.”

“At least he’s trying and that’s all that matters, right?” Phil asks.

Dan smiles as he looks up at Phil and nods. “Right, that’s all I care about,” he confirms.

“And you’re happy?” Phil asks, gently pulling Dan closer to him.

“I’m happy,” Dan confirms again. “I’m happy that we don’t have to hide anymore.”

“I can’t wait to go to school on Monday and be able to hold your hand and kiss you-”

“Phil,” Dan giggles. “I don’t like PDA and you know it.”

“Oh, there you are-”

Dan looks over and bites his lip slightly when he sees his dad walking into the living room.

“Oh… I didn’t know you had company over,” Mr. Howell says.

“Um, yeah. Is it okay if Phil stays over for dinner?” Dan asks hopefully.

“I suppose. I’ll tell your mother to make an extra plate,”

“Thanks. Did you need some?” Dan asks, tilting his head slightly.

“Um, no. I’ll just tell you later,” Mr. Howell says before turning and walking out of the living room.

Dan sighs before looking over at Phil. “See?”

“It’s a work in progress,” Phil says. “He’ll get there eventually.”

“I know, but it’s just frustrating,” Dan says before pouting.

Phil chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re so cute,”

“Stop it,” Dan whines before burying his face in Phil’s chest. “I love you.”

“Do you want to go out later?” Joe asks as he walks out of the bathroom, walking into the hotel room, where he found his boyfriend on the bed, texting on his phone.

“I thought we were going out anyways?” Caspar asks, finally looking up from his phone.

“I mean… it’s our first night in LA, how can we not go out?” Joe asks.

“But the question is, are we drinking or not?” Caspar asks curiously.

Joe thinks for a second. “Hm, not. I’m not feeling like it tonight,” he says.

“Boring,” Caspar mumbles before looking back down at his phone.

“Hey,” Joe pouts before pushing Caspar playfully, giggling when Caspar falls down onto his back, causing him to drop his phone. “That’s what you get for being mean.”

Caspar reaches over and grabs Joe, pulling him down on the bed with him.

Joe squeals in surprise. “Caspar!” He whines as he tries to get away from him.

“Nope, you can’t get away now. You’re mine,” Caspar laughs.

“No! C-Casp-” Joe laughs loudly as Caspar starts tickling him. “Casp! S-Stop!”

Caspar grabs Joe’s hands and pins them against the bed, and then straddles him.

“Get off me!” Joe yells as he struggles to get out of Caspar’s grip.

“Nah, I think I like being up here. It’s a nice view,” Caspar says with a smirk.

“Smooth,” Joe laughs as he rolls his eyes. “You’re literally the worst.”

“Am I?” Caspar asks. He grins and then he tickles Joe again, laughing as Joe bursts into a giggling fit.

“Caspar!” Joe cries as tears pour out of his eyes from laughing so hard.

“Okay, okay-” Caspar chuckles as he pulls his hands away from Joe.

“You’re-” Joe takes a deep breath as he looks up at Caspar. “The worst.”

“So I’ve been told,” Caspar says before leaning down and kissing Joe gently. He goes to pull away but stops when Joe continues to kiss him, which results in a little makeout session.

However, the two were too involved in said makeout session and din’t hear the door open.

“Whoa,”

Caspar instantly pulls away from Joe and looks over, his eyes widening when he sees Oli standing there.

“”How the hell did you get in here?” Joe asks, also just as shocked as Caspar.

“Maid working here, she uh… let me in. Recognized me. Knew you two were staying here,” Oli says.

“Are you kidding me?” Caspar asks, sliding off of Joe. “She just let you in here?”

“Okay, I knew you two were close… but I didn’t know you two were that close. What the hell?” Oli asks.

Joe groans and pushes himself up. “Trust me, we didn’t want you to find out this way either,” he mumbles.

“So, you two are dating then?” Oli asks, crossing his arms against his chest.

“I mean… friends don’t just make-out like that,” Caspar raises his eyebrows. “I mean, maybe.”

“No, I don’t think they do Casp,” Joe chuckles and rolls his eyes, before looking back over at Oli. “So, obviously we haven’t told anyone that we’re, um… together. Otherwise you would have known about it. So, we would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone. Please?”

“Of course. I promise that I won’t tell a single soul,” Oli says.

“Thanks mate,” Joe sighs in relief. “That means a lot to us.”

“No problem. So, I’m assuming you two are… gay?” Oli asks.

“Well, I am. Caspar’s bisexual. Obviously. He’s had past girlfriends,” Joe mumbles, trying his best not to roll his eyes. He never likes to admit that he’s jealous but he definitely is.

“Ah. How long have you two been dating then?” Oli asks curiously.

“Not very long. Couple of months. Six months, I would say,” Caspar answers.

“Sorry for all the questions. This is just very new to me,” Oli chuckles.

“It’s fine. We would be asking questions too,” Caspar says, Joe nodding in agreement.

“I feel bad that you walked in on us like that. Can we make it up to you with dinner?” Joe asks.

It’s a big deal that Connor moved all the way to London just to be with Dan. Dan didn’t think he would actually do it but he’s so grateful that he did because long distance was hard on both of them.

Moving into a new apartment also meant that it would be harder for Dan to film videos with Phil for their gaming channel but Dan is confident that they’ll find time to make it work. Luckily he and Connor moved close to where Phil is now living at so it wouldn’t be too hard. They were all living in London now.

“And that’s the last of the boxes,” Dan says as he folds a box up and tosses it into the trash.

“Really? That’s the last one?” Connor asks tiredly yet excitedly.

Dan chuckles. “Yeah,” he says. He walks over to Connor and kisses him. “It’s not too late to back out, Con, are you sure you want to do this? It’s a big deal and everything…”

Connor instantly looks up at Dan and frowns. “Of course I want to do this,” he says. “I mean… I think it’s time. It’s been two years and doing long distance for that long is rough.”

“I know. I just… I’m not having any doubts of our relationships. I promise. I just want to make sure. I’m really happy that you moved out here. We got a fucking house together. This is amazing. Skyping is fun but being able to kiss you in real life is even better,” Dan smiles.

“You mean, like this?” Connor reaches up and kisses Dan once.

Dan grins and pulls him in for one more kiss. “Yes,” he says.

Connor laughs. “Let’s order some dinner, yeah? It’s late but I’m starving. I’ve been too busy unboxing all day that I didn’t have time to eat anything,” he says.

“You didn’t eat? Why didn’t you say anything?” Dan asks.

“Like I said… I was too busy unboxing,” Connor chuckles and then he pulls out his phone. “PIzza?”

“You know me so well,” Dan says. “I’ll go start a movie. Thank God we have wifi.”

“The most important,” Connor smiles as he watches Dan walk out of the kitchen. He glances around before dialing the number for pizza. He doesn’t even think about how this is their first dinner in the new house.

****

Two weeks later and Dan’s finally getting the hang of things around the new house. They’ve already got a pretty good schedule going. Like now, for instance. Dan has woken up after Connor’s left for a job, which is something Dan learned that Connor does. He knew that Connor liked running but he didn’t know he had a routine of jogging (almost) every single morning. Dan’s taken his shower and now he’s made coffee.

“How was your jog?” Dan asks when Connor walks into the house.

“It was good, until it started raining,” Connor groans.

“Well, that’s London for ya,” Dan says. “Would you feel better if I said I made you coffee?”

Connor gasps. “You know me so well,” he grins.

“Are you mocking me?” Dan asks, pouting.

“I would do no such thing,” Connor says as he kicks off his shoes.

“Hey, I made you coffee. You better be nice to me,” Dan warns playfully.

“You’re right. I’ll be nice,” Connor says. He walks over to Dan and kisses him once before flopping down on the couch next to him. “Coffee?” He makes grabby hands towards the cup in Dan’s hands.

Dan can’t help but laugh at Connor’s adorableness, and happily hands him the cup of coffee.

Dan and Connor spent the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch and catching up on TV shows, until around later when Dan had started editing a new video on the couch. But of course, he’d fallen asleep.

Connor walks into the living room and chuckles when he sees Dan asleep on the couch, laptop on chest. He walks over to him and pulls the laptop off of him and plugs the charger into the wall. He reaches over and gently shakes him a few times to wake him up. He doesn’t want to wake him up. He looks quite comfortable, but he’s sure his back will be aching when he wakes up. “Dan!” Connor shouts quietly.

“Ah!” Dan shouts as he sits up. “What’s wrong? Is there a fire?”

“A fire?” Connor raises his eyebrows. “That’s your first thought?”

Dan groans and rubs his eyes tiredly. “Shut up. I’m tired,” he mumbles.

“I can tell,” Connor chuckles. “Come on. You fell asleep on the couch. Let’s go upstairs and get to bed, yeah? Your back will be thanking me later.” He smiles.

“Fine. Will you help me up?” Dan asks, holding his hand out.

Connor laughs and grabs Dan hands, and pulls him up from the couch. He drags him up the stairs and to their shared bedroom. Connor watches with amusement as Dan falls onto the bed and curls up in the blankets. He smiles and then he changes into pajamas and then climbs into bed with Dan.

“Love you,” Dan mumbles tiredly as he snuggles into Connor.

“Phil, it’s almost midnight. There’s no way you’re craving at this time,” Dan groans.

“I’m pregnant, Dan. I can’t help when I have cravings and when I don’t!” Phil pouts.

“You don’t even like cheese. You’ve hated cheese for as long as I can remember,” Dan says as he looks over at his boyfriend. “Can’t you wait until the morning?”

“Dan,” Phil whines. “The sooner you get me my cheese… the sooner I’ll be happy.”

“I can’t believe you’re using that against me,” Dan sighs as he pushes himself up. “Well I know you’re not going to be happy no matter what type of cheese I give you. How about we order a cheese pizza?”

“Really?” Phil asks, raising his eyebrows. “Okay… I can go for some cheese pizza.”

“Those are words I never thought I’d hear you say,” Dan chuckles as he pushes himself out of bed.

“I love you,” Phil says as he watches Dan.

“Love you too, even when you are a pain in the ass,” Dan says.

“Dan! What did we talk about swearing?” Phil rolls his eyes.

“I still have plenty of time to work on my swearing, thank you very much,” Dan says jokingly with a huff before walking out of the bedroom, leaving Phil alone.

It’s definitely been a crazy past two months since Dan and Phil found out that Phil is pregnant. Things were somehow even more stressful with the two of them figuring out things and preparing for the baby, which they found out is going to be a little boy. Phil is excited, but Dan’s still stressed. They have no idea how this is going to work with their crazy busy schedules but Phil’s determined they’ll make it work.

It’s sort of a miracle that Phil’s pregnant anyways, so he’s taking full advantage of this while he can.

An hour later and Phil finally has his cheese pizza, and he’s happy.

“I’m sorry,” Phil says as he sits next to Dan on their bed.

“What for?” Dan asks, looking over at Phil and frowning slightly.

“I know how I annoying I can be with my cravings,” Phil says. “I try not to annoy you though.”

“Hey, you’re pregnant… you can’t help it, like you said. I’m not mad at you or anything,” Dan says.

“I just… it’s probably going to be like this for a while. I just want to make sure,” Phil says.

“Of course. Trust me, I’m aware that things won’t be easy… and that’s okay,”

Phil smiles, he reaches over and kisses Dan’s cheek before continuing to eat his pizza.

****

Phil thought Dan would keep his word when he had said that he was prepared for everything, and he never would have thought that Dan would go back on his promise of being there for Phil.

Dan left. He just left without saying a single word to Phil.

“I’m scared Lou, what if he doesn’t come back? How could he just leave me?” Phil sniffs.

“I don’t know why he would do such an idiotic thing, Phil. Are you alone right now?” Louise asks.

“Yes, I don’t know when he left…” Phil says sadly.

“I’m on my way over then. You’re six months pregnant, you shouldn’t be left alone like this,” Louise sighs. “I’ll try to get a hold of Dan in the meantime, alright? Just stay home.”

“Thanks, Louise. I didn’t know who else to call. I didn’t want to bother my parents,” Phil says.

“That’s alright, dear. I was pregnant once so I know how it feels,” Louise says. “I’ll be over soon.”

“Thanks. See you in a little bit,” Phil mumbles before hanging up on Louise. He takes a deep breath before calling Dan again, hoping that by some miracle, he will pick up. Another voicemail.

Phil let’s out a sob before hiding his face in his hands.

How could Dan do this to him? Leave him alone at six months pregnant?

Phil’s heartbroken, and he’s hurt, but mostly… he’s scared. He won’t be able to do this on his own.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Louise says as she sits down with Phil on the couch. “I talked to Dan…”

“What?” Phil asks, immediately looking over at Louise. “What did he say?”

“He…” Louise sighs. “It sounds bad, and it’s selfish but… he needed to get away.”

“Get away?” Phil asks. “From what? From me?” His eyes begin to water up.

“No, not you specifically. He’s stressed,” Louise says.

“He’s stressed?” Phil yells. “I’m the one who’s carrying the damn baby!”

“Hey, watch your mouth,” Louise warns. “Don’t talk about the baby like that.”

“I-I’m sorry… I just… what if he doesn’t come back?” Phil asks quietly.

“He’ll come back,” Louise says. “He has no choice. I’m not gonna let him walk out on you like this.”

“D-Did he say that h-he was coming back?” Phil asks.

“He didn’t say,” Louise frowns. “But if I know Dan… I know he’ll come back.”

“And what if I don’t want him to come back by the time he does come back?” Phil asks.

“That’s something you’ll have to talk with him about,” Louise says softly. “Everything will be okay.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Phil whispers. “I want Dan.” He hides his face in his hands again.

“You’ll be alright,” Louise whispers as she gently rubs her back, wishing there’s something more that she could do for her pregnant friend. All she knew is that Phil won’t be happy until Dan comes back, she just hopes she’ll be able to keep Phil calmed until he does because stressing the baby out won’t be good.

****

Two weeks without Dan and Phil is slowly starting to lose hope that Dan is coming back. Dan never called or text him to let him know when he’s coming home or if he’s okay.

Luckily Louise has been there to help Phil around, but it isn’t the same. Phil misses Dan.

It isn’t until one day, when Louise hears a knock at the door. Phil is asleep on the couch, with a movie playing on in the background. Neither were obviously paying attention to it though.

Louise sighs as she walks to the door and opens it. She looks up and gasps when she sees Dan.

“Dan?” She hisses. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here, in case you’ve forgotten. What are you doing here?” Dan asks.

“Making sure your pregnant boyfriend doesn’t go crazy,” Louise snaps.

“I need to talk to Phil,” Dan says. “Where is he?”

“You can’t talk to him right now. He’s asleep,” Louise says.

“Well, can you wake him up? I really need to talk to him… and apologize,” Dan says.

Louise sighs. “This is the first time he’s gotten any proper sleep in almost three days. He’s been worried sick about you. You never called. Never text him. Nothing. You put so much stress on him and the baby… something could have happened. How could you be so careless?” She asks.

“I know. I know I’m a horrible fucking person. You don’t need to tell me that because I already know. Now… can I please come into my house?” Dan asks.

Louise rolls her eyes and finally steps aside, letting Dan in.

Dan immediately rushes up to the lounge and takes a deep breath when he sees Phil fast asleep on the couch. He doesn’t want to wake him up but he needs to talk to him before it’s too late.

“Here we go,” Dan whispers before walking over to the couch. Dan doesn’t know how Phil’s going to react to him being back. He won’t blame Phil if he doesn’t want to see Dan anymore after everything that he put him through. Dan bends down and gently shakes Phil to wake him up. “Phil? Phil, wake up.”

Phil’s eyes slowly flutter open. He looks over and gasps when he sees Dan. “Dan?” He quickly sits up but groans and holds onto his stomach, instantly regretting the action he just did.

Dan’s eyes widen slightly. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

Phil looks over at Dan. “Wh-What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry… I just…” Dan takes a deep breath. “I was an idiot. I should have never left like that, and I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore because I don’t deserve it. I just… wanted to come back and apologize for what I did to you. It’s probably too late but…”

“Dan,” Phil says. “Why… why did you leave? You left us…”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I just needed time to think. I’m only 24 years old. I’m still young. Having a baby is a big responsibility. I can hardly take care of myself. I depend on you for mostly everything. How am I meant to take care of a baby? I’m terrified of failing. Of failing the baby… and most of all, you,” Dan whispers.

“Dan, you think I’m not scared? I’m just as terrified as you,” Phil says.

“You don’t act like you are,” Dan frowns. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Same reason you probably didn’t,” Phil says, letting out a sigh. “We need to work on communication now more than ever. You can’t just leave when things get stressful. I won’t be able to do this on my own.”

“Does this mean… you’ll give me another chance?” Dan asks hopefully.

Phil stares at him for a moment before rolling his eyes. “You’re lucky I love you so much,”

Dan smiles. He reaches up and kisses Phil. “I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I’ll never leave again…”

“Hi guys!” Phil smiles brightly as he waves to the camera. “Sorry I was late. The wifi has been messing up and I had to fix it.” He rolls his eyes. “Anyways, how are you all? Hello Janet, and Ashley, and Maria…”

Phil spends a couple minutes chatting to some of his viewers, and talking about what’s been going on.

“So, the other day I was-” Phil looks over when he hears a loud boom. “Uh oh. It’s storming outside. I need to go shut the windows. Give me a sec-” He stands up and walks over to the windows and shuts them, and closes the blind. “I’m still here!” Phil looks up and blinks a few times when he sees a small figure standing in the doorway, and he instantly knows that it’s his boyfriend, Dan.

Phil hesitates before walking over to Dan. “What’s wrong?” He whispers, glancing over at his laptop.

Dan points over to the windows and looks up at Phil with fear in his eyes.

“Oh, I see… I forgot you were afraid of storms. Well, I’m… I’m doing a live show right now,” Phil says.

Dan bites his lip as he looks over at Phil’s laptop. He doesn’t want to intrude, but he really could use the comfort of his boyfriend right now. It’s storming outside and he’s absolutely terrified.

Phil’s viewers don’t know that he has a boyfriend. They know he’s living with someone, but they don’t know that he’s his boyfriend. Mostly because Dan is extremely shy and he doesn’t talk. He’s mute. Dan’s absolutely scared of what Phil’s viewers will think of him, even though Phil’s tried to tell him multiple times that his viewers are nice people and they will love him no matter what.

Phil’s a popular youtuber with over five million subscribers, and he’s only growing bigger. He already knows that his viewers are going to find out about Dan eventually. They’ve been dating for six years.

“Come on. Come sit with me,” Phil says, grabbing Dan’s hands.

Dan’s eyes widen as he looks up at Phil, and he quickly shakes his head.

“They’re going to love you,” Phil whispers before leading Dan over to the couch.

Dan hesitates as he follows Phil, unsure if what Phil had said was true. They’re probably going to hate him and make fun of him for being mute like everybody at school had done.

“I’m back,” Phil announces as he sits down on the couch. “With special guest. I hope you guys don’t mind-” He reaches up and tugs on Dan’s shirt and motions for him to sit down beside him. “This is Dan.”

Dan blushes and nervously sits down beside Phil. He fiddles with his sweater sleeve.

“Say hi,” Phil says as he gently nudges Dan.

Dan looks up at the laptop and waves shyly, and he desperately tries not to think about how there’s 50,000 people watching him right now. Dan honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself right now.

“Dan will be joining us for the rest of the live show. It’s thundering and he doesn’t like thunder,” Phil says.

Dan blushes even more, and he looks down at his hands.

Phil gently tugs on Dan’s sweater and pulls him closer to him, still wanting to comfort him during the storm.

“Dan doesn’t talk,” Phil says. “He won’t be saying much… or anything at all, this live show.”

Phil answers a few more random questions before people start asking about Dan again.

“How do we communicate? Dan texts me when he needs to tell me something,” Phil says with a shrug. “Pretty simple if you think about it really, and I don’t mind that he can’t talk. He’s still fun to be around and his personality still shows when we hang out together. I can still make him laugh, see-” Phil reaches over and tickles Dan, making Dan giggle. Phil grins as Dan pushes his hands away.

Dan blushes and hides his face in Phil’s arm.

Phil laughs and shakes his head. “More questions then? Dan, they think you’re cute,”

Dan takes out his phone and types ‘thank you’, and then shows it to the laptop.

“Dan’s taken, so don’t get your hopes up,” Phil warns playfully.

An hour later, the storm passes and Dan’s fallen asleep on Phil’s shoulder, and Phil, and the viewers, thinks that it’s absolutely adorable that Dan’s fallen asleep.

“Uh oh, Dan seems to have fallen asleep. I guess that’s good since he slept through the storm. But, I should be getting off now. I have to wake up early tomorrow to film a new video!” Phil smiles. “It was lovely chatting to you all though, and I’ll see you next Tuesday, or whenever I post a new video. Goodbye!”

Phil says goodbye to a couple of viewers before finally turning off the broadcast. He shuts his laptop and places it on the coffee table. He looks over at Dan and chuckles at the younger boy. He gently shakes him a few times and smiles when Dan starts waking up again.

“Silly, you’ve fallen asleep on him,” Phil says softly as he reaches down and gently kisses Dan’s cheek.

Dan blushes as he looks up at Phil, he looks over and sees that Phil’s no longer on Younow.

“Do you want to go lay down in my bed?” Phil asks. “The storm is over. I can make dinner.”

Dan let’s out a yawn and then he slowly nods.

“You go lay down and I’ll bring dinner to you, okay?” Phil smiles. He pulls Dan down for a quick kiss and then watches as Dan stands up and walks out of the lounge.