at what point do I stop pretending loneliness is what flows in my veins instead of blood
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@nyxiolls
at what point do I stop pretending loneliness is what flows in my veins instead of blood

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the spirit is willing but the flesh is experiencing technical difficulties
pioneering something called "gritted teeth optimism" where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it
But the thing I will never admit to anyone who's met me is how desperately I want to be loved, I don't think I could say it. How I want someone to hold my wrists and kiss my palms and smile at me, and want me, I want to be wanted and I don't know how long poetry or songs will substitute for being wanted.
βCats donβt actually love youβ
A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.
Donβt you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that itβs helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.
Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.

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Oh you crave love yet reject it? What? You push everyone away so they canβt break you? What are you? A poorly written Kafka novel?
James Potter who can read minds and has a crush on Regulus.
Regulus who's first thought when he sees James is "huh" and then from then on has absolutely zero thoughts in his head when he's around James. Insults coming out because his brain is just throwing stuff out there and hoping it sticks. He sees James and he's so mesmerized that there's nothing in his head.
James assumes Regulus just doesn't care enough about him to think of him. (He's also a little concerned that Regulus seemingly doesn't have a thought process.)
Then one day James approaches Regulus without him noticing and hears how fast, rapid and loud Regulus' thoughts usually are, only for Regulus to notice him and it all immediately becomes silent.
whatβs it called when youβre so disconnected from reality that cold water doesnβt feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore
Thinking abt immortality and how meticulously youβd have to keep track of all of your shit so some nosy historian didnt spot your old journal or coat or copy of a book and call an infuriating time-based finders keepers
βItβs two hundred years oldβ they say. βItβs essentially public propertyβ they say. Itβs a letter you sent to your friend and itβs in a museum now and youβre screaming
hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset
the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years
taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

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abnormally large trees please lend me some of your centuries worth of wisdom
Regulus reads the ransom letter over French toast. Thereβs a half-grapefruit waiting for him, a cup of aromatic coffee, and a pot of Darjeeling. By all accounts, itβs the perfect breakfast.
Dear Lady Black, the letter reads, in a cursive written by someone who canβt write in cursive, I am sorry to say I have abducted your son, Master Regulus Black. Donβt worry, he is perfectly safe and will remain so, however if you would like toβ¦ the letter continues in such a manner. Even Regulus isnβt sure if heβd been kidnapped (sorry, abducted), or if he has simply popped out for a day with an old friend. There is only a vague mention of ransom β never mind the amount β and the man had signed with his full name.
βJames Potter?β
βYes?β the man β James β responds. Perks up.
βThatβs really your name? And you put it in the letter?β
βSeemed the polite thing to do.β
βAre you dumb?β
James looks somewhere between affronted and amused. Not how people usually answer to being insulted.
Regulus twirls the fork in his fingers, and it turns into a rather smart β albeit still silver β quill. Heβs always been adept at transfiguration. James snags on the movement, takes in a sharp breath. A click of fingers and the parchment turns blank.
To Her Excellence Lady Black, Regulus writes, using his non-dominant hand to obscure his handwriting. The words are rendered in a non-recognisable, but still stunning cursive.
As you are by now no doubt aware, your son Master Regulus Black has been kidnapped. At present he is safe and well. Please see attached a lock of his hair as confirmation.
No physical harm shall befall him, provided you follow the instructions I give you. Should you not, his death will not be swift.
Do not, for any reason, attempt to communicate with the Auror department or any private agency.
Before end of the week, secure 20 thousand galleons in old currency.
The galleons must be placed in a large cigar box, securely closed and wrapped in white paper. Remain at home and alert until midnight on Saturday and await further instructions.
Regulus signs the letter with an unreadable squiggle in place of a name, then twirls the silver quill around his fingers β it turns into a sharp, simple dagger. He cuts off a lock of his hair from behind an ear, where the disruption wonβt be visible. Vanity, as always, present.
James stares dumbly as Regulus hands him the hair.
βSecure it and put it in the envelope with the letter.β
βWhy?β
βShe can see my magical signature in it. Will know that Iβm alive and youβre not just trying to extort money for a corpse.β
βHuh,β James looks struck with something. βClever. Never knew you could do that.β He takes the letter and reads through it, promptly choking on his tea. β20 thousand? Are you insane?β
Regulus doesnβt respond. Changes the dagger back into a fork (and Jamesβ eyes get stuck on that, again), and goes back to his breakfast.
βThatβs way too much money.β
βAnd how much were you going to ask for?β
βI donβt know. Five hundred?β
βFiveβ¦ five hundred? Thatβs just insulting. Are you trying to be insulting?β
βWhat?β
βYou think Iβm worth five hundred galleons? The heir of the House of Back? Five hundred?β
Regulus is furious. Not only has he been kidnapped (abducted) by a moron: the moron thinks him worthless.
βFive hundred galleons is a lot of money.β
βSure. If youβre poor,β Regulus argues, βyou want five hundred? Here,β he takes the cheapest ring off his fingers and drops it on the table in front of James, βthis is worth about double, pawn it and keep the change.β
James twirls the ring around his fingers. βVery pretty,β he smiles, slipping it on, rubbing the little leaf motif engraved in the silver, βyou walk around with thousands worth of jewellery on you? Surprised nobody kidnapped you before.β
βI thought I was abducted.β
James looks downright delighted by the answer.
Well put. (Source: Writing About Writing Facebook page)
as a lawyer whoβs been practicing for six years now I can say with certainty that this 100% applies to lawyers
Me: My writing is so bad. :(
Meanwhile at Disney: Somehow, Palpatine has returned.
i hate when people ask me what sign i am like bitch iβm a sign from god. start running.
πππ₯π―π¬π‘π¦π±π’

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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PLEASE DO NOT USE TIKTOK AS A RESOURCE FOR HELLENIC POLYTHEISM
Tiktok is probably one of THE WORST places to learn about REAL hellenic polytheism because it is rampant with misinformation and most creators are only interested in views and parroting misinformation THEY heard. Yes there are some great and informative creators on there to learn about the hellenic gods but they are far and few in-between.
INSTEAD if you're new to the religion and have no clue where to start researching/learning, here are a few phenomenal creators on here with wonderful and informative posts!
@wisdom-devotee has an amazing guide for starting out in hellenic polytheism
@seasaltdevotion also recently made a fantastic post on resources for starting out
@crazycatsiren has a SUPER long list of resources and research material
@khaire-traveler has possibly the greatest list on subtle deity worship for just about every god
Please actually learn from those of us that truly love and covet this religion and spread information that will truly benefit you.
β Aphrodite is iridescence, like the shimmer of pearls and seashells, like glittering jewels in the sea