✧・゚ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒
bc my bestie and I sold our souls to him and satan.
“Why do you think we’re out here? I’m not wearing any pants.”
“God left us in a hot car to die and I think we deserve it.”
“What?! What are you suggesting here that we do, this is really macabre.”
“I’m gonna bring the dinosaurs back and I’m gonna make them gay.”
“Social Media was a mistake made by the mistake of humanity.”
“There’s only one solution to this: Organized Crime.”
“Is this like a malicious compliance thing?”
“Well, now you get fired and I get a giftcard – yeihh!”
“I’d say apply cold water to the burned area, but there’s no cold water that could cure this.”
“Well, nothing brings people together like a common enemy, am I right?”
“How much of this stuff can we sneak in before they catch us?”
“I’m so disappointed, this day sucks.”
“You really know how to… uh, savor your emotions for the ‘important’ things in life.”
“No, thanks. Just sex, drugs and rock’n roll for me.”
“You stole my pokemon-card when I was twelve, get fucked!”
“This isn’t facepalming. This is me ripping my entire face off.”
“How can any human have so little compassion and kindness?”
“Why is this a debate?! You can solve this with two sticks!”
“This is very disturbing but also very creative. Jesus.”
“That just sounds like prostitution with extra steps.”
“Who in their right mind would do this?”
“Oh yeah! I can feel the hellfire coming all along!”
“Why must you ruin everything I hold dear in life?”
“The only people who’d call you a good catch are probably the cops.”
“So you’re not only proving that you’re creepy, you’re also proving that you’re a complete idiot.”
“What kind of shrooms where you smoking when you made this?”
“Just because your body can physically survive something doesn’t mean that your… uh, whole being is ready for it.”
“This is where this was going?!”
“There we go. You really nailed this one.”
“Come on. You’re not an edgy anime-character. STOP.”
“I will rake you like I rake my yard!”
“You know when the sky opens up and it’s raining blood? This is like that. But worse.”
“I don’t think you know what it means to be the good guy.”
“Oh my god! That was like 4 plot twists and I had at least 3 heartattacks!”
“I know every cloud has a silver lining and all - but I’m not sure it applies to a nuclear mushroom cloud.”
“We need to move back into the woods and eat pinecones, I swear to God.”
“You have no idea how impressed I am by your big, throbbing brain.”
“You know… when you have these biblical moments to play out before your eyes, they don’t really pop the same way as they do in the old scriptures.”
“I mean, everyone can mourn in their own way but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?!”
“If my wedding doesn’t have ostriches I’m gonna sue someone.”
“I’d say go to hell, but that is too good for you.”
“I drink alcohol to make you bareable. It’s not that I am too awkward without alcohol, I just need to numb the mental pain.”
“I’m not a religious person by any means, but sometimes I wish god was real so some people can burn in hell.”
“Seems kinda cool on the surface, but we don’t wanna open this pandora’s box, do we?”