just a reminder its ok to escape from people who are scaring you or reminding you of something scary enough to try and kill your self.Β Β november november, 17??? i am afraid of my-self.so frightened! everything upsetting i did could lead to a reoccurring event i dread! i would of killed myself if they did too. i loved somebody:
i hurt myself very badly! it was selfish. i didnt want to do that again. all of hurting myself makes my problem worse. i was afraid of anything i would do could do it again,i figured if theyd let me do something i wanted then i could do that for myself(run, running..), not have to worry anymore..considering how kind they were to me. i could not utter a word fearing what sort of response id get
my mom, my dad, my other dad, sister understand me better. it was not unusual to drop contact with somebody affecting you like that.
im aware i put myself in this position.Β september was bizarre. why did i say ok, yes, i love you, i resume my infatuation, i return to my will of death for another? what a fucking idiot! im so cheap! if i could go that easy then it really wouldnβt of been that hard to try for another person. probably because theyre really wonderful personality and really cute most of the time. but when im sad i just kind of. rot. i dont go out of my way to let everyone know im horribly depressed and make everyone feel sad? that is alarming and worrying to people. thats what they did. i did my best to help them when they were like that(somebody close to me that feels bad, i feel like that too then..). try help other people who have bad outlets cope better. last time this happened they tried to ruin my reputation? demonize me because they felt that was the only way they felt like they could move on? i dont know what was up. but that was real shitty and im not afraid anymore. i have proof of myself existing heavenly! in ways un-re-shapable β¦!
dont try to contact me no matter what
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
prguitarman
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
