Mary the Kidd

“Sweet girl.”

“Did you suck his cock?”

“The only person standing in your way is you.”

“I just want to be perfect.”

“I felt it.”

“What did you do?”

“You put something in my drink.”

“You just took off in the morning.”

“You fantasized about me!”

“Did you have some sort of wet dream about me?”

“You slept over.”

“You could be brilliant… but you’re a coward.”

“Stop being so fucking weak!”

“Perfection is not about control.”

“I never see you lose yourself. Ever!”

“I’m so sorry to hear you’re leaving.”

“What did you do to change his mind?”

“You fucking whore!”

“What happened to my sweet girl?”

“He picked me!”

“We all know the story.”

“It’s okay. I’m here.”

“My show is tonight.”

“You’re staying in here until you feel better.”

“Your role is destroying you.”

“We dance in the same company.”

“That was me seducing you.”

“It needs to be the other way around.”

“I don’t want there to be any boundaries between us.”

“You’re not a virgin, are you?”

“So, you’ve got a boyfriend?”

“Honestly, would you fuck that girl?”

“You’re in a good mood.”

“It’s my turn!”

“No, please! You’re not well!”

“Let go of me!”

“You can’t handle this!”

“You were amazing.”

“Holy shit, you blew me away!”

“I know that things got all messed up between us.”

“She walked into the street and got hit by a car. And you know what? I’m almost sure she did it on purpose.”

“I got a little homework assignment for you.”

“Go home and touch yourself.”

“Live a little.”

“This is your moment.”

“I don’t think we’ve ever officially met.”

“I would be losing my mind.”

“Are you freaking out?”

“You must be so excited.”

“Get out my room!”

“Must’ve been pretty humiliating.”

“Rough start, huh?”

“I’m not sure you’re up to it.”

“My little princess.”

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“What else have you been doing?”

“Oh, you wanna know their names?”

“I fucked them both.”

“You’ve been drinking.”

“Has he tried anything with you?”

“He has a reputation.”

“I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I did.”

“I hope he’s not taking advantage.”

“I have a right to be concerned.”

“It’s just in case.”

“No, please believe me!”

“She’s trying to replace me!”

“Nobody’s after you.”

“I’m not perfect. I’m nothing.”

“You make the most of it!”

“Have you announced it?”

“I really don’t want to talk about that.”

“I can’t believe he calls her that. It’s so gross.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“Go ahead, jump!”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Sex. Do you enjoy it?”

“Everything will be better in the morning. It always is.”

“We sucked.”

“Wish I could’ve been there.”

“Sounds like quite an evening.”

“Give me a second.”

“I came to apologize.”

“I have my ways.”

“How do you know where I live?”

“What about drinks?”

“Sweetie, you need to rest.”

“How about I take you out to dinner?”

“Look, I just feel really shitty about what I did and I just really want to make it up to you.”

“It’s called privacy.”

“I’m not twelve anymore!”

“What are you going to do? Run home to mommy?”

“It’s a fucking disaster.”

“What’s she doing here?”

“Aren’t you…a damsel in distress?”

“If? If is good.”

“I’m a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.”

“Um, I don’t know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.”

“So did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?”

“Well, you know how men are. They think “No” means “Yes” and “Get lost” means “Take me, I’m yours.””

“Is Wonderboy here for real?”

“Um, maybe we owe him money?”

“Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?”

“It’s been a real slice.”

“Coming, your most lugubriousness.”

“Memo to me: Maim you after my meeting.”

“You know, I haven’t seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.”

“He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.”

“She’s a fraud! She’s been playing you for a sap!”

“Somebody call IX-I-I.”

“Whoa. Is my hair out?”

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone.”

“Ah, but dreams are for rookies, kid. A guy can only take so much disappointment.”

“People do crazy things… when they’re in love.”

“Are you always this articulate?”

“Hey, I’ve sworn off manhandling.”

“It’s all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.”

“For a true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.”

“Indoor plumbing. It’s gonna be big.”

“Is there a downside to this?”

“How sentimental. You know, I haven’t been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat.”

“Hey, I’m walkin’ here.”

“I didn’t know that playing hooky could be so much fun!”

“Stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.”

“He’s gotta have a weakness, because everybody’s got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?”

“You’re really choked up about this, aren’t ya?”

“Anybody listenin’? It’s like I’m - What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace? Hello, it’s me. Nobody listens.”

“So is this an audience or a mosaic?”

“It’s a small underworld, after all, huh?”

“I thought you were going to be the all-time champ, not the all-time chump.”

“Will you be my boyfriend? Just for a minute.”

“You’re not a serial killer, are you?”

“That depends, how many times does it take to get to ‘serial’?”

“The more you drink, the more you learn.”

“In that case, I am the foremost expert in Jägerbombs.”

“You know, it may be the roofies talking, but this was really fun.”

“If you had any idea what I was about to do to her… she was gonna be no good to you after that.”

“What kinda stuff we talking about?”

“Saudi bachelor party shit. R. Kelly drop cloth shit.”

“Die with the lie.”

“Then why’d you come up here if you’re so smart?”

“Professional curiosity. And I like boobs, figured it was a win-win.”

“He was so shithouse you could have taken his appendix.”

“You really should be more aware.”

“It’s a minor miracle I’m not a hooker right now.”

“Attention is like a spotlight and our job is to dance in the darkness.”

“Human behavior is very predictable.”

“You get their focus, you take whatever you want.”

“'Father’ is a very generous term.”

“Can we skip the part where I speak through thinly veiled allure and lead you to believe that there’s some Earth-shattering hump in the works?”

“There’s no Earth-shattering hump in the works?”

“No thinly veiled allure? No baby voice? No lingering eye contact? That’s all my favorite shit.”

“Does it feel sexy on your face?”

“No one looks at your hands when you got that working for you.”

“Congratulations, you’re a criminal!”

“And if you think for one second that I’m gonna let your mother talk to me like that, you’re fucking crazy! I’m a grown-ass man!”

“He uh, financed his own line of gravy.”

“You hittin’ that? You should hit that. I’d totally hit that.”

“Who was the cop with the wandering hands?”

“Who hits on a grieving widow?”

“I think we should start with oral. Just sayin’.”

“Stay juicy.”

“I’ve been in this for a really, really long time and I’ve never seen anything like you.”

“I was actually talking about the sex.”

“Oh please, there’s a thousand hoes, baby.”

“You’re just layin’ there. I’m like, come on, is this thing on?”

“There’s two kinds of people in this world. There’s hammers and there’s nails.”

“Is this a bad time to mention I don’t really like football.”

“I know my drunks.”

“I know my lechers too!”

“It’s just an expression, hard to explain. Rough translation: ‘I’m fucked’.”

“She sounds like my wife.”

“It’s crazy, I know, but it will be his fault, not yours.”

“You have got some big fucking balls.”

“Kill me later.”

“I’m the blind mouse? You’re such an asshole!”

“Now, just what part of the plan calls for trays of Appletinis? Pledging a sorority?”

“A little small on top for my taste.”

“One man’s small is another man’s perfection. It’s like breasts are subjective, opinion topics.”

“Hey, you need to put some clothes on.”

“There’s Australian people here. Just sayin’, they shipped all those people down there for a reason.”

“You don’t know me, remember?”

“Stop touching my shit, _____”

“Whatever you want, I can keep you safe.”

“I’d really like to show you all the things I’ve learned. Like how I play men. Like how I just played you.”

“I think you’re losing it, that was pathetic.”

“'I’ll keep you safe?’ What was what? Does that work? Does that get you laid?”

“You must be really turned on with all these beautiful women here.”

“Oh dear God, please never make that face again. I don’t even want to know what that means.”

“Everybody knows you’re a lesbian, it’s completely fine.”

“There’s a lazy Sunday softness to your generation. Makes me uncomfortable.”

“Sarcasm. Another pillar of your generation. You wanna tell somebody to ‘fuck off’? Tell 'em to 'fuck off’.”

“With friends like you who needs luck?”

“There’s a science to getting people to trust you.”

“What’s a 'race skank’?”

“She’s been driving me crazy. Hanging around, flirting, teasing. The minute I try to get her up to my room - a headache! A period, right? The world’s longest period!”

“That time of the month. It’s like a crime scene.”

“I have Scrabble in my room.”

“I was trying to steal his watch!”

“It’s what I’m good at and I like it!”

“You did all of this to make me jealous?”

“You can’t believe I lied? Oh, that’s so rich from you.”

“You’re always lying, ____! I don’t know when you’re telling the truth.”

“Here’s the thing about lying. Fucks up all your options.”

“He is not gonna die. Probably.”

“I cannot believe you made me shoot you.”

“I like you, honey, you can take a punch.”