MESS OF A GIRL.

It had been a long time since she had visited Keisung and as she approached the memorial infront of her she hadn’t expected a rush of emotion to flood through her veins. Nari gulped. It was autumn yet all she smelled was smoke, the reunion started in an hour, but she’d wanted to come early - to see the fruits of her labour up close. She hadn’t dared visited in the last few years, but instead, had worked from afar to produce a memory. The grief was endless; a morbid itch that never left her - one that not even new love could fix. 

 Last night she had dreamt of him. Their last night, before the fire, laughing and talking - she didn’t remember much now, not really. He had been an odd sort of lifeline, Nari remembered him like an imaginary lover, gone as soon as he appeared. She’d known they were never meant to be, even beyond the superficiality of a clique system.

So she’d shaken the memory of him, she’d shaken the memory of those left behind; never to leave the college gates. She’d forgotten them, she’d had too. Mirai, Sora...even Yongjoon, they were just people who were unlucky. 

The engagement party was days away, yet her mind was completely elsewhere. She twisted her ring, staring at the names in front of her, mouthing messages of love. Upon the crunching of leaves, she sighs, not bothering to acknowledge the other person. 

nxrii:

small, but aggressive, eh? this time, ziyi’s taken aback. truth be told, he didn’t really expect her to be this assertive. somehow, he feels like a kid being put in his place. it almost makes him doubt himself: could he have unknowingly wronged her in the past? no, that simply can’t be. after all, he’s never even talked to her up till now, has he? ❛ looks like you really hate me, huh? ❜ somehow, he feels the need to apologize, though he doesn’t exactly know why.

frankly, her attitude is making him sheepish, something that only happens once in a blue moon. for some reason, his cheeks feel unusually warm — is he perhaps blushing? ❛ look, i just wanna help you, that’s all. i don’t have any ulterior motives, i promise. i’m— i’m not like the rest. i’m not a bully. ❜ if it were someone else, they would have probably given up by now. why bother to earn someone’s trust when they hate your guts? however, ziyi’s different. ❛ you can trust me. ❜ she might not believe him, but it’s worth a try.

She purses her lips as she listens to him, trying to decipher if he was merely apathetic to his reputation or actually being GENUINE. The latter thought scared her, because she didn’t understand, didn’t understand why someone like him in power would want to HELP people. Help someone like her. ‘Prove it.’ Her voice is softer, slightly less aggressive -- she can’t help but feel this twinge in her heart, as if he wasn’t really LYING.

This is where Song Nari falters. As they enter the cafeteria she can’t help but find her fists clench slightly. There is this anxiety in the system and in the hierarchy. Nari didn’t want people to make ASSUMPTIONS about her and Ziyi, she didn’t really want a bunch of angry students chasing after her either for being rude to their precious ‘athlete.’ As she takes a moment to look around, the usual table the Derelicts would occupy was EMPTY, it meant there was no escape now. ‘You can find a seat, forget about paying lunch...your arms must ache after carrying those books.’ 

nxrii:

     HAKU HAD BEEN OUT LATE, nothing was new. the twenty year old acted as most twenty year old college kids do. his head was pounding from too much soju mixed with his absolute favorite drink in the world, vodka redbull. the amount of times he had sat in his apartment writing an essay at four in the morning with a vodka redbull next to him. the splitting headache had taken over haku as he was out studying with nari. the broad boy had leaned back in his seat and let his head fall forward. the headache diminished as he slept but was rudely brought back by the pressure of a pen on him.

     “ five more minutes… ” he mumbled under his breath before his brain truly woke up. nari’s voice rang through his ear causing him to remember he wasn’t at home in bed or on his couch. he looked over at the girl and squinted slightly, his eyes still adjusting to the light. he noticed the same sleep lines on her face that he desperately tried to avoid. “ hey ! meanass.. why do we have to do more ?? i really wanna go home.. ” he grumbled in protest. his eyes flickered around the room, only a few people were left in the library, and they were all in their own bubbles, oblivious to each person other than themselves.

HE IRRITATES HER. Really, he does. Frankly, Nari is driven insane by his laziness, his drinking habits & his ability to mysteriously APPEAR outside her classes. Not to mention the fact the smell of vomit had still not left her shoes. -- Really, she shouldn’t hang out with someone like him. He’s a bad influence by all means and she knows she’d only end up getting sucked into his black hole of MESS. But she still hangs around him & she can’t quite figure out why. 

nxrii:

the derelicts are an interesting bunch. most of them are either reluctant or simply have no desire to get involved with someone like ziyi, probably thinking that he’s one of the big bad bullies. that doesn’t stop him from trying to befriend them. truth be told, he’s still dreaming of the day when there will be no more cliques, no more animosity, no more discrimination. that day has yet to come, but hey, a boy can dream, right?

her reaction is hardly surprising. not everyone likes him and he knows that all too well. all he can do is try not to take it to heart and keep doing his thing. no hard feelings. ❛ believe it or not, i do happen to know where it is. mind-blowing, right? i have a couple of friends who take pleasure in dragging me there and making me watch them work. isn’t that cruel? ❜ his tone’s jovial and slightly teasing as he tries to lighten up the mood and appease the other. ❛ no, seriously, let me help you. i’m ziyi, by the way. you must be nari. i’ve seen you around, but you’re even cuter up close. c’mon, let’s go, i’ll buy you lunch. ❜ looks like poor nari is stuck with this guy, because it doesn’t seem like he intends to let go of her books anytime soon.

Her MISCONCEPTIONS were painfully ignorant, Nari knew that deep down. Her undeniable hatred for all those ‘highly ranked’ made her rather bitter and ignorant. She was obsessed with her own misery and that was the truth of it. Still, she wanted her friends to feel as if they DESERVED to be at Yonsei, that their hard work meant SOMETHING. They weren’t just poor kids with big dreams, they were important, all Nari wanted was them to feel like this was their HOME. 

‘Yes, it must be CRUEL to care about your education rather than getting a FREE-RIDE for doing a few sit-ups.’ Her voice is dripping with sarcasm, but Nari can’t help it, she knows exactly who he is and while she’s confused as to what he WANTS from her, it doesn’t matter --- he’s still an OBSTACLE. Agitation is evident on her features, yet she can’t bear to have him run off with her books & she KNOWS he’d easily overpower her in a struggle. ‘I don’t need your money ‘Ziyi’, why don’t you spend that on something important? Perhaps a new baseball bat ---so you and your silly little clique can bully more people with such an effective tool.’ 

nxrii

“  okay , sweetpea !!  ”  melodies rang , dancing off lips , radiant , unfazed by groans  (  has she even heard them ?  blissfully IGNORANT  ) , pushing forward━ further in the building , irises exploring .  shoulders bounced , quiver of the corner of a roseate tier ,  “  okay !  promise … but , you are very talented !  you’re more than welcome to come dance with me sometime … even if just for fun !  ”  offered upturn , crimson shade curling upwards , as gaze acquainted  (  familar features , so pretty !!  )  ,  fixating on the moving body … as if observing , a work of art .  lips , smile , brighter  ━  if that was even possible .  “ oh , really ?!  ”  evie followed instruction ,  “ you’re a lifesaver , sunshine !  ”

nari !

··· as sinjin made a last minute escape from the library, he found himself to be a COMPLETE mess. there were papers threatening to escape from his textbooks and notebooks along with writing utensils behind his ears and held between his teeth. a relieving sigh was let go seeing an employee walk passed him to lock the door just in time. it was without realizing the hours; until the moon’s light shined against his desk, he gets buried and lost in his books. it wasn’t something to worry about though. he simply enjoyed the feeling of getting work done ahead of time ( or to have more time to study BEYOND the class pace ).

··· while moving along the hallways, he hastily began to file away all of his supplies and studies into the bulking backpack being supported by his weak arms. it was like he had been running a mile at this point: exhausted by the extra weight. just then, he saw two figures in motion. he furrowed his brows as he got closer; only to REALIZE, one was a janitor tool and the other was someone who seemed to be enjoying herself. to ACKNOWLEDGE the little performance, he cleared his throat without wanting to bother her too much. ❝ s-sorry.. i didn’t mean to startle you, ❞ he bowed apologetically. ❝ oh- yeah, right. i was just- um.. i was just coming from the library and saw you two- well- just you technically because that is a mop.. but- lovely dancing ! ❞ the male abruptly began to quietly clap to show his ADMIRATION. 

The DERELICTS were practically family to Nari. In reality she had her dad and her dog, but other than that, there was really nobody left. Taking on the responsibility of leader had made her PROTECTIVE but also afraid, afraid that one of her own would get hurt, she was constantly suspicious of other clique’s plans, that they would pull some poor prank that would push someone over the edge. This fear was constantly on her mind, but Sinjin provided a softness which made her forget (even if only for a moment.)  His awkwardness makes a small laugh escape from her mouth as she turns around. She feels a touch of GUILT as he bows, finding it all rather UNNECESSARY but Nari appreciates it all the same.  ‘Don’t worry about it Sinjin, but keep this...this terrible...terrible...dancing.... on the down-low yeah?’ Her eyes drift over to his various books and her smile falters slightly. ‘You shouldn’t work so late you know, sleep is important too.’ She places the mop back in the bucket, placing it to the side and instead  holding out her hands, knowing fully well how heavy those books were. ‘Have you eaten dinner yet?’ 

BLINKING FURIOUSLY, Nari finds her eyes meeting the harsh light of the library, her mind is fuzzy and she hesitates to lift her head --- afraid that the paper stuck to her cheek will leave a STAIN. (She’s right.) As she awakens, the much taller figure next to her still appears to be ASLEEP.  For a moment, Nari merely watches him, ‘he’s actually rather peaceful when asleep.’ She ponders how she ended up here in the first place, if fate liked to BULLY her or if he was merely persistent in annoying her. Unfortunately for Nari, he had grown on her, and she didn’t like it. Didn’t like how she could LAUGH with someone so different from herself, someone with endless MONEY.  But she pushes the thought away, merely poking him with her pen instead. 

for @nxrii ♡

maybe he should be paying attention to where he’s going instead of texting, but alas, bad habits are hard to break. he may have that idiotic grin on his face now ( what’s he looking at, anyway? nudes? ) but one day he’ll walk straight into a pole and crack his stupid head open and then he won’t be smiling anymore. if he tried to be at least a little bit more mindful of his surroundings, he’d notice nari walking towards him, struggling to carry a pile of books — but as luck would have it, he doesn’t. just like that, the inevitable happens: ziyi bumps right into her, nearly making her lose her footing and sending her books tumbling down.

❛ oh, fuck, i’m so sorry! ❜ it only takes him a few seconds to snap out of his distracted state and then he’s already crouching down to help her retrieve her scattered belongings. ❛ i’m really sorry, let me help you. ❜ as expected, he picks up the pile of books like it’s a piece of cake, looking down at the girl with a tinge of guilt and flashing his usual warm smile. ❛ where to? the library? ❜

She’d been distracted. There was too much to do in the world of Song Nari, in between running late for classes, working at the cafeteria and helping members of the clique --- she found herself exhausted. Her brain seemed to think that the best time to fall asleep was when she was travelling and so somewhere in between the frazzled thoughts about homework and the next test, she found herself NEARLY falling.

Her first response is to APOLOGISE. But she bites her tongue upon recognising the other, but upon lowering her gaze to find some of her papers crumpled, she glares at him.  The SPORTS clique to Nari, were a bunch of arrogant idiots who could lift a few weights, they paraded around the school as if they were JOCKS in Glee. Nari grimaces. ‘Lunch. I haven’t eaten. Besides,I don’t think you even know where the library IS.’ She holds out her hands. ‘I don’t need your help, or your company, you’ve done enough. So give me my books back.’

nxrii

━━ ˟ ☾ ` ⊰ adventure in a step , exploration , the grumble of a stomach— ah !  a pause , thought , when was the last time she had eaten , can’t recall , evidence it had been too long — a break in mindless activities , to direct to somewhere to subdue angered roars .  open of a door , dancing body & dimmer lights  (  or , was that just evie’s imagination  ) , prompt for upturned tiers & clearing of a throat— intent not to embarrass , but , to alert  (  she was hungry , after all ) . CLOSED . oh .  “  woops !  but , that’s such a shame , i was just about to join the party , honeybee !  ”  subdued roar , light giggle .  “  well , after i’d eaten my body weight in food ! ”

The cafeteria lights were dimmed and the whole building seemed rather quiet, except for the sound of a mop hitting the dirty floor. The night shift was, strangely enough, one of Nari’s favourite times. A time when the other staff were spread out and so Nari could line her physics worksheets across the tables and use her mop as a fake dancing partner. Today was no different, except she’d replaced her classical playlist with something more groovy. As she began to swing her mop and bust a hip to ‘Saturday Night Fever’ an unwelcome cough brought a faint blush to her cheeks. Too EMBARRASSED to turn around, she merely coughs out a sentence. 

‘Sorry, we are um, CLOSED.’ 

*bursts through the window* hELLO!!!! I’m Waffles, (18, GMT, she/her) and this is SONG NARI. AKA LEADER OF THE DERELICTS. And a member of the boxing team!! She’s strong willed, tired of classicism and pretty much the definition of ‘hard on the outside toTAL MESS/MUSHY PIECE OF SHIT’ on the inside <3 so yeah, LIKE THIS POST and I’ll hop into your ims <3 <3 <3

Tw: death, murder, depression

nxrii:

“— probably because i’m a bitter person.” jian rolled his eyes, tapping his pen on the table. “but since when do you care ?? last time i checked you only wanted to talk to me was when you needed a little extra pocket money, hm ??” the boy avoided her by answering the last few texts in his phone, basically begging for the conversation to be over at this point. “oh wow, here we go again !!” the boy said fake enthusiasm lacing in his voice. “i’m trying to stay away from acid trips, i’m actually trying to graduate. – i’ll take anything that gives you a quick high though.”

“Oh please, stop making yourself out to be my sugar daddy or something---you never buy my shit anyway.” A dry laugh before Nari begins throwing her pen up and catching it again. “Since you’re in such a depressed mood and it’s rather entertaining for me, I’ll hold off the drugs talk for awhile.” The nearby window showed pitch black outside & Nari couldn’t help but wonder if the library was empty or if they were just talking too loudly. “But why are you bitter? Have you ever been in love? What happened?” She wasn’t sure why she was asking, but her curiosity had piqued, besides it was too late to retract the question.

( nxrii )

with a book in her hands, jayeon really wasn’t paying much attention to her surroundings. her book was simply too good. she didn’t even notice the poor girl. but her attitude, on the other hand, seemed quite interesting.‘‘don’t worry, dear. i don’t steal from the poor. people say it’s a sin.‘‘ she quickly bent down and picked up the pill bottle. she was just being a good samaritan.’‘you’re hurt. you shouldn’t be doing anything. here you go.‘‘she gave her back the bottle and added,’‘that ice pack won’t help you. it seems like you aren’t an experienced fighter. it’s definitely a rookie mistake.’‘she wasn’t a doctor, but she knew a thing or two about such injuries.

The others words cause a small sting but Nari can simply painfully laugh. “It’s nice to know my economic status is well known.” Taking the pills gratefully, Nari stands, slightly irritated by the others comments, but still stubbornly thankful, after a moment of placing the pills in her bag, she looks down at her flimsy pack. “Okay well,what do you suggest then? This was uh, only a short term solution anyway.”

nxrii:

jian genuinely couldn’t help but laugh at the girl, was it terrible ?? yes but at this point he knew she was didn’t need help. jian hummed at her response, pausing for a moment before clapping. “for someone who’s tiny you sure can throw a punch.” the boy looked at her in disbelief though he black eye was enough proof. “give me all the details, what happened exactly ??” jian crossed his arms over his chest, interested in what she had to say. “pfft, no .. it’s a guy i know that much” the boy shrugged his shoulders. “lectures aren’t important either, it’s useless information i already know. i pass the exams easily.”

She glares at him as soon as laughter erupts from his mouth, it’s not like she was expecting him to care regardless. However, at his next comments, she simply laughs. “You should’ve seen it, this guy was asking me for some weed, but said he’d pay for it with sex ---honestly, the NERVE, he just wouldn’t take no for an answer. Poor boy, probably didn’t realise I was captain of the judo team for a reason.” Imagining the previous few moments caused a lasting smile & though she was in pain, it didn’t really matter --she’d still won. “Fine. Whatever, I’m gonna go get another ice pack and then eat a celebratory burger, you’re free to join.”

nxrii:

*  :  ･ﾟ  ✧     earbuds deafen minjae to the world surrounding him. hands are shoved in his pockets while he mouths the words to ( y a c h t ). there’s a groove in his, otherwise, lazy gait carrying him through the streets. he’s lost, unaware of passersby — until he’s bumped into. his first instinct is to catch himself ( and the one invading his personal space ), while his second is to check if they’re alright. headphones are hastily removed, worried hues searching as he voices his concern. “hey, are you o—” when the familiar voice reaches his ears, minjae feels his worry intensify; his tone following suit. “nari!? what the heck happened to you, are you okay? i need names—pictures will also suffice.” the male has always been more of a lover than a fighter, but that doesn’t stop the anger bubbling underneath his surface. he stoops closer to the floor, soft fingertips wrapping around the pills before helping her stand upright. “here,” he says, grabbing her hand. he places them into the palm he’s forced out to him, gently tightening her grip around them. “you don’t have to worry about me taking them, though. you know you can trust me, especially since i don’t believe in doing any of that …” he leans in closer, a hand ghosting underneath her chin so he can get a better look at the bruise on her face. “seriously … are you okay?”

INTERNALLY, out of everyone she could’ve bumped into, she was glad it was HIM. His softness blunted her sharp edges & somehow, she didn’t seem so scary anymore, not around him --at least. A flood of relief appears evident on her face as she the pills are placed firmly around her fingers, without hesitation she quickly places them in her bag, with one hand, a moment later she feels the previously ‘iced’ water pack into the bin. “It was my fault, I started it, he just kept talking shit about me....i got angry.” She shakes her head and looks at the floor like a child that’s been punished. She refused to look at him, she didn’t want him to see her in pain. “I uh, I’m just hungry you know ---that ice pack did fuck all for me, honestly. If you have any painkillers,  guess they might be useful.”