Nutty Translates

ELLE China, January Issue White shirt, khaki trousers, printed scarf, all by Dries Van Noten Printed tie by Sean Suen Histoire de Style, Untamed Nature High Jewelry Lierre bracelet from the Histoire de Style, Untamed Nature High Jewelry collection Fleur de carotte brooch from the Histoire de Style, Untamed Nature collection All by Boucheron

ELLE China, January Issue Green jacket by Pronounce Li-Ning Glory Gold Label Remake jacket Black shirt and black trousers, both by Balmain

In the dry, comfortable southern night of late autumn, the shadows of trees swayed gently in the residential area, creating a tranquil and peaceful atmosphere. Suddenly, a tightly closed door burst open, and two men hurried out, pushing a bucket of “snow”, enveloped in a cloud of white mist. Along with the mist, several others emerged from the crack in the door, seeking some fresh air in the night.

Inside the photography studio, the white mist lingered, enveloping the “snow”. A leather sofa lay nestled within the “snow”, and a winter was being constructed. Before this, it was summer; long water pipes meandered up the walls, climbing to the skylight of the set, where rain fell. Before that, ginkgo leaves fluttered down, it was autumn. Before that, apricot blossoms filled the air, it was spring.

Black leather coat and black leather trousers, both by Rick Owens White patchwork print shirt by Dries Van Noten Black boots by Sean Suen

The four seasons pass by in this way. But upon closer inspection, one discovers that the seasons are out of order.

#01 Chaotic, Vast

As Xiao Zhan stood waiting, he looked at the two trapezoidal spaces in the studio, constructed from wide wooden planks and encompassing the four seasons, and found them fascinating. “It’s like the spaces are displaced, as if we’re trapped in between some kind of spatial layers.”

The chaotic, ever-changing time, the distorted and superimposed spaces, this was the time and space he entered after becoming an actor. Therefore, he had to learn the skill of navigating through it all, shivering while performing in the sweltering heat and sweating profusely in the dead of winter. And a character’s fate would be unpredictable; sometimes the ending would arrive before the beginning.

White patchwork printed shirt by Dries Van Noten Black leather trousers by Rick Owens Black boots by Sean Suen

He learned quite well. The shoot took place in the warm, pleasant south, where he was well-dressed. Five days later, when he answered the interview call, he was already in Jinzhou, Liaoning. They finished work at 7.30pm, the temperature had dropped to -1°C, and he was so cold he could barely open his mouth, yet he remained talkative. “Knowing what kind of state I should be in in what situation and what kind of work, I’m already very comfortable with it.” The transitions are very smooth.

When one’s ability to travel is sufficiently mastered, time and space may no longer be limitations, no longer linear or singular, allowing one to briefly enter an open space on a conscious level. Creation then becomes a game of how to capture and piece together time and space. In late January 2024, heavy snow fell in northern Zhejiang. Xiao Zhan had only recently joined the drama group of “Legend of Zang Hai”. The notice for that day originally stated “day off”, but when he opened his eyes and saw the snow scene outside, his mind raced through the script, and he immediately texted the director: “Director, we should be filming today, right? This snow, if we don’t film, it would be a waste, wouldn’t it?” The director replied that he thought so too.

Pink suit, white trousers, mesh top All by Kent & Curwen Printed top by Sean Suen

They hit it off immediately, set up the scene, changed clothes, and quickly adjusted the characters to their near-final state. In the end, “Legend of Zang Hai” presented a famous scene in the snow, after Zang Hai avenged his great enemy and reclaimed what belonged to his family, he walked alone in the snow, calm and lonely.

“But there are still times when I feel completely lost.” Xiao Zhan smiled, recalling the filming of “SPYING” in Shanghai this August. Wearing a thick coat, he could not convince his body that it was autumn or winter. After all, the seasons remained unchanged no matter what. “Summer is that stuffy, humid air; the wonderful thing about autumn is that it has a slightly cool air that you can breathe in; as for winter, it’s so cold that it can instantly wake you up.”

Beige top, khaki trousers Both Hermès

He used to think his personality was more like autumn, and for a time he especially liked winter. But now, he thought: “All four seasons are fine. A person’s personality and their state of life are fluid.”

Looking back, what truly anchored his career in time and space were his works — 2018, 27 years old, not long after his debut, “Oh! My Emperor”; 2019, 28 years old, gaining widespread attention, “The Untamed”; 2021, his first stage play, 30 years old, “A Dream Like a Dream”; 2022, a time when he particularly loved winter, 31 years old, filming “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”; 2023-2024, often spending months immersed in a single role and film crew, 32 and 33 years old, “Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, “Legend of Zang Hai”, “Gezhi Town”; 2025, currently, 34 years old, “SPYING”, “A Small Town Remedy”…

Blue shirt, blue trousers, brown tie, black leather shoes All by Saint Laurent Contemplation High Jewelry Collection Fleche du Temps question mark necklace Animaux Collection Otarie ring All by Boucheron

#02 The Character’s, Mine

“Do you think this is a good thing? An actor always portrays a character who is very smart and shrewd. Do you think he is creating something?” Xiao Zhan asked curiously.

White shirt, khaki trousers, printed scarf, all by Dries Van Noten Printed tie by Sean Suen Black leather shoes by Untitlab Histoire de Style, Untamed Nature High Jewelry Lierre bracelet from the Histoire de Style, Untamed Nature High Jewelry collection Fleur de carotte brooch from the Histoire de Style, Untamed Nature collection All by Boucheron

At first, he did not realize that the characters he played in recent years unconsciously shared a common trait: Zang Hai in “Legend of Zang Hai”, who stayed hidden for ten years to avenge his family, then plotted step by step, finally achieving his goal; Ren Shaobai in “SPYING”, who becomes dignified and righteous after putting on glasses, seeing the world and people’s hearts clearly; Liu Zhengliang in “A Small Town Remedy”, a genius doctor; and Mo Dexian in “Gezhi Town”, who transformed from a refuge into a rebel through wisdom. Intelligent, resourceful, and strategic.

He was indeed efficient and dedicated in his work. When filming “SPYING”, he would switch to another personality as soon as he put on his glasses, just like turning on a switch. When filming “Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, he challenged himself by memorizing lines in Mongolian. “You give an instruction, and your body, brain, and emotions will do it. I think humans are actually very sophisticated artificial intelligence machines.”

Green jacket by Pronounce Li-Ning Glory Gold Label Remake jacket Li-Ning Glory Gold Label Superb Black Shoes, both by Li-Ning Black shirt and black trousers, both by Balmain

“But to be honest, I’m quite scared.” He did not consider himself to be a smart person; he had never been one to take shortcuts or follow the “effective” paths others talk about. He did not want to be stupid, but he was not exactly smart either. His portrayal in dramas were decent, at best a case of hard work compensating for shortcomings.

He also struggled to make long-term plans for himself. At work, he often faced career paths for 1, 2, or even 5 years down the road, and he would be completely lost. “Well, the thing I can guarantee is that I’ll do my best in the present, but I don’t think too far ahead.”

Pink suit, white trousers, mesh top All by Kent & Curwen Printed top by Sean Suen

And just like when he was interviewed a year and a half ago, Xiao Zhan was still worried that his sensitivity was fading. This might be due to aging, “I wouldn’t have thought about such a problem when I was in my twenties”; or it might be due to work fatigue, “I’m so tired, forget it, I won’t amplify my sensitivity today,” let it dissipate.

Most people would face this situation sooner or later. He could not say whether it was necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, because sometimes when he thought about it again, “If it doesn’t drain any of your passion and energy, it might not be a good job, right? It doesn’t make you feel pain or frustration, which is also quite scary. I think sometimes life, or fate, these arrangements are all for a reason; it won’t always be smooth sailing, nor will it be particularly disastrous.”

Li-Ning Glory Gold Label Series Comfortable and Windproof Sports Windbreaker Brown Suit and Black Trousers, both by Mithridate Blue Scarf by Acne Studios

Compared to so-called intelligence, in an industry and era of increasing uncertainty and rapid change, he felt he is closer to being pragmatic. “If you do your current job well, you can have a stable situation. But if you are overly ambitious — this is true in any industry — and can’t even do your current job well, you will be unemployed after a year.”

He watched dramas, read scripts, and treated each encounter with people and characters as a new journey; he met with crew members, created mind maps, and listened to podcasts that told stories of strangers during each trip. Listening to podcasts had been a long-standing habit of his, and the people and events from afar were all related to him. “They are real, and whether it’s anger, pain, or sweetness, it all touches me deeply.”

Blue shirt, blue trousers, brown tie, black leather shoes All by Saint Laurent

He seemed forever curious about another life, forever wondering — what is a dream, what is my greatest fear, what is a dream, what is my greatest desire?

But life did not present the answers to us directly.

Li-Ning Glory Gold Label Series Comfortable and Windproof Sports Windbreaker Li-Ning Glory Gold Label Series Super Hot Burgundy Shoes All by Li-Ning Brown Suit and Black Trousers, both by Mithridate Blue Scarf by Acne Studios

Since last year, he has realized that one change in himself is acceptance. “Accept yourself, and then accept some people and things, some outcomes, some things you want to control but are powerless to change.” His tone became calm. “It’s not a big deal.”

#03 The Cruel, The Endearing

The world is cruel. This was Xiao Zhan’s view on the essence of life.

“This world has a beautiful side, but beneath its beautiful exterior lies a cruel essence. Because in a sufficiently long period of time and space, everyone is equally insignificant.” This is the inevitability of history, the inevitable course of humanity.

At the end of 2024, Xiao Zhan released his first solo album, “WM”, which records his humility and self-examination, his thoughts and doubts about others and the world.

Li-Ning Retro Sportswear Jacket Li-Ning Retro Sportswear Pants Li-Ning ACE 3.0 Black and White Shoes All by Li-Ning

The first song in the album “WM”, titled “Anonymous” was actually created back in 2022. At that time, he was filming in Beijing, and because he was playing a child from the military courtyard and had to speak Beijing dialect, he had a strange feeling: although he was an outsider, he had briefly settled down in a foreign land. But as soon as he returned to his accommodation and saw many people going to and from work, and a few people coming out to hail taxis, he was pulled out from that feeling of settling down. He thought that all foreigners are the same, “wandering in a strange city”.

Over the next two or three years, various feelings frequently surfaced, which he wrote down. “Go Ahead” represented continuous exploration, while “Life of Us” leaned more towards philosophical introspection. As he hoped, the album was like a diary, laying bare many of his innermost thoughts.

Within the inevitability of insignificance and limitation, something else slowly emerged: “Human emotions are incredibly powerful, incredibly strong, and incredibly unpredictable.” These emotions made humanity seem quite endearing.

Blue shirt, blue trousers, brown tie, black leather shoes All by Saint Laurent Contemplation High Jewelry Collection Fleche du Temps question mark necklace Animaux Collection Otarie ring All by Boucheron

“So it comes back to a very practical issue, which is choosing roles. I always say that the role must first move me.” Xiao Zhan is currently filming “A Small Town Remedy” in Jinzhou. After reading the first five episodes, he felt a deep empathy for Liu Zhengliang. And as Liu Zhengliang began to experience various stories and reflect on different kinds of family, friendship, and love, he also unconsciously underwent a change.

Xiao Zhan’s parents often bickered over trivial matters — “Today I didn’t lift the curtain for you when I went out, or I didn’t hold the door for you, and the door bounced back and hit you. And then they brought up things from many years ago because of such a small thing. It sounds a bit absurd, but that’s the truth, and it’s quite funny.” — Bickering was not enough; the two of them would argue in front of him, demanding his judgment, and the argument would last for two or three hours.

Li-Ning Glory Gold Label Remake Jacket Black Shirt, Black Trousers Both by Balmain

“A few years ago, I would get really angry. Why argue over such a small thing? Can’t you two just get along peacefully?” But now he had accepted it and found it quite interesting. “It’s their way, a way of proving their feelings. Now I actually enjoy it. Let me be the judge. Okay, I’ll give you a good evaluation, hahaha.”

He also mentioned an idea, “If possible, I’d like to follow a stranger for a day and see what their day would be like.”

Black leather coat, black leather trousers Both by Rick Owens White patchwork print shirt by Dries Van Noten Black boots by Sean Suen

But how would he put it into practice?

A sly laugh came from the other end of the phone: “Maybe one day in the future, during the next interview, I’ll tell you that I’ve already done it.”

Acting as Dexian, Tracing the Origins of the Character

In the early part of the film, Mo Dexian seems to revolve solely around his own “little family”, constantly trying to appease his elderly great-grandfather before turning around to discipline his mischievous son. In his spare time, he tries to listen to the radio and uses his mechanic skills to repair various tools. Xiao Zhan sees Mo Dexian as an unconventional hero; he’s “eccentric”, “haphazard”, and sometimes a rambling “talker”, experiencing struggle and growth under external stimuli.

Xiao Zhan admitted that working with director Kong Sheng and screenwriter Lan Xiaolong, and playing the unique character Mo Dexian, initially made him so nervous that he suffered from insomnia. To prepare for the role of Dexian well, Xiao Zhan’s primary focus wasn’t on the acting style, but rather on returning to the character’s “origin”—

Global Times: You once said that working with director Kong Sheng and screenwriter Lan Xiaolong was a “dream come true”. How did you feel when you learned you would be participating in “Gezhi Town”?

Xiao Zhan: My first feeling was disbelief, followed by nervousness, because I knew that the story and characters written by screenwriter Lan Xiaolong were very challenging for actors. This nervousness continued after reading the script. The film is called “Gezhi Town”, and I played a significant role as De Xian. In the early stages of filming, I was under so much pressure that I had insomnia, spending my nights thinking about how to make everyone understand, accept, and like this character. But later on, I stopped thinking about these things.

The film set we were shooting on seemed to have a “barrier” that automatically shut out outside noise once you entered. I barely looked at my phone on set; I just sat there, looked at the surrounding mountains and houses, and then at the crew and actors, and my state of mind instantly changed. It was a magical state.

Global Times: What kind of struggle did the character De Xian go through from forbearance to rebellion?

Xiao Zhan: I don’t know everyone’s specific feelings after watching the movie, but I was pleasantly surprised when I first saw this character. Dexian is not a hero in the conventional sense, in the early stages, he only wanted to protect his “little family”, and only later did he want to protect the “greater family”. The most important preparation I did for this character was to trace his experiences before the film’s story, to understand why he became what everyone calls “neurotic”, and why he had such neurotic and haphazard thinking.

He went through a period of struggle and growth. At the beginning of the film, Dexian and his great-grandfather fled Nanjing, witnessing the Mo family go from four generations to just two persons. He must have felt heartache and rebellion, but on that escape ship, his heart was numb. To put it selfishly, he only wanted to survive with his great-grandfather. It wasn’t until the invasion of Gezhi Town that he began to awaken and choose to fight back. As for the details, many people have asked me how the expressions and reactions in the film were designed, they were simply very genuine, spontaneous reactions in real time.

Global Times: What was it like playing a father and the pillar of the family?

Xiao Zhan: When I was first told I was going to play a father, I wondered, “How do I get along with my child? How do I get along with my wife? How do I protect this family?” But when filming actually started, I felt an invisible energy within me, and I unconsciously had the responsibility and commitment a father should have, and in times of crisis, I would instinctively take certain actions.

Just like my family and I, we often worry about “planning for the eventual difficulties”. He is the same way when he has free time. Although they have lived a peaceful life in Gezhi Town for three years, he still listens to the radio. He has never forgotten that the outside world is still in danger, so he makes a lot of preparations and transforms the tools in his house into weapons that can be used to defend against enemies at any time.

“Building a Bridge Between Fathers of That Era and Fathers of Today”

After the release of “Gezhi Town”, behind-the-scenes footage of Mo Dexian standing on a mountaintop and shouting, venting his emotions sparked discussion on social media, with netizens commenting that peaceful life is hard-won. During filming, Xiao Zhan was actually surrounded by towering buildings and modern overpasses, but he needed to portray Dexian’s repressed and painful state of mind under the shadow of war. This strong “time-space intersection” made it difficult for him to break out of character for a long time after filming.

Currently, social media platforms are rife with detailed interpretations of “Gezhi Town”, highlighting the film’s dark humor and the struggles of ordinary people, leaving a lingering emotional impact on viewers. Xiao Zhan, after watching the film, also gained a new understanding of the work, recalling in an interview a conversation at the premiere that moved him to tears—

Global Times: When filming scenes on a mountain side, there was a modern view in the distance. What were you thinking at the time? Which scenes left you feeling heavy-hearted after filming?

Xiao Zhan: I remember Lan Xiaolong saying that scene brought tears to his eyes. During filming, I also felt a sense of “time travel”, but as an actor, I need to completely believe in the current situation, and what I was seeing were very prosperous and modern high-rise buildings, so my feelings at the time were very complicated. After filming, my deepest feeling was that the life that seems so ordinary to us now was unattainable for people in that era. It was really not easy.

There were so many scenes that deeply moved me. The scene where I pulled the flagpole with Ogawara (played by Yin Zheng) left me in a daze long after filming, still immersed in the story. The final conversation with Xiao Yan (played by Peng Yuchang) in the ruins also left me feeling very heavy.

Global Times: What were your thoughts after seeing the finished film for the first time? How do you understand the meaning of the phrase “Dezian Jin Zhi / Gezhi Town”?

Xiao Zhan: On 5 December, an hour before the film’s press conference in Yichang, I watched the entire film for the first time. Before, when I watched my own performances, I couldn’t help but think, “How was my acting? This scene seems a bit lacking; I wish I could have acted like that in that scene…” But while watching “Gezhi Town”, I completely forgot about those things. I shed tears several times during the film, and I also laughed out loud, my feelings after watching it were very complex.

At first, I thought “Dexian Jin Zhi / Gezhi Town” simply meant meticulous creations belonging to Dexian. But when I sat in the movie theater and saw the film, already edited and set to music, on the screen, I had a new feeling. “Dexian / Leisure” actually represents the yearning of millions of people for a peaceful life, while “Jin Zhi / Meticulous Creations” represents the resilience that people develop in the face of adversity.

Global Times: You were moved to tears by the audience’s comments at the premiere. Which comments impressed you the most?

Xiao Zhan: I’ve seen many audience interpretations, including many angles we hadn’t considered during the creative process. They were really good, and I could feel how much everyone loved this film. As one of the actors, I’m very grateful and content.

The audience member who moved me at the premiere was also a father, he came to see the film with his wife and child. I clearly remember why I was moved — we, a group of people living in the present, are telling a story from that era, I portrayed a father and husband from that time, and I’m building an invisible bridge between myself and a father and husband in the present, allowing us to connect and communicate. This audience member found something moving in the story, and I feel that this work expresses the values ​​we want to convey.

“Whether You Want to Do Well or Not is a Matter of Attitude”

Why was Xiao Zhan chosen to play Mo Dexian? Hou Hongliang, the executive producer of “Gezhi Town”, stated in an interview that he saw in Xiao Zhan an actor’s attitude of stepping out of his “comfort zone”. Xiao Zhan was grateful for this praise, but in his view, he never thought about “stepping out” or “going anywhere”, only about doing his best in every job with the most positive attitude.

In 2025, Xiao Zhan will be meeting audiences with several works. In this interview, which is nearing the end of the year, when asked about his summary of 2025, Xiao Zhan somewhat shyly said that he is “very afraid of summarizing and making expectations”……

Global Times: What were your takeaways and insights from working with director Kong Sheng’s team this time?

Xiao Zhan: I think the director is incredibly talented. He’s responsible, insightful, and very efficient, giving the actors a tremendous sense of security. He has a very precise understanding of each scene. Before filming, he’ll gather the actors on set for a rehearsal, clearly explaining the key points he wants to convey, the background of the scene, and what we should be thinking while performing. He’s like a skilled craftsman threading a needle, connecting all the characters in a scene and ensuring no one goes off track.

Global Times: Many people say they see a determination in you to step out of your “comfort zone”. What is your take on that?

Xiao Zhan: To be honest, I have never really known where my comfort zone is. I have never thought about defining a comfort zone or where to go from there. What I care about most is whether the role, the script, and the team can move me and give me the motivation to do it, to be determined to do it. My thinking during filming and work is very simple, I just want to do my best. Whether I can do it is a matter of ability, but whether I want to do it well is a matter of my attitude.

Global Times: 2025 is coming to an end. How would you summarize this year?

Xiao Zhan: Oh dear, I dread year-end summaries and new year-end wishes (laughs). I’ll just use one word — “To be continued”.

Global Times: What would you like to say to those who have always supported you?

Xiao Zhan: I just want to say thank you. Looking back on this journey, nothing can compare to this simple thank you.

(The images in this article are stills from the movie “Gezhi Town”)

​Text｜谷幌幌 Gu Huanghuang ​Editor｜金匝 Jin Za ​Photography｜许闯 Xu Chuang ​Makeup and Hair｜清俊DDJ STUDIO Styling｜GCK ​Production Coordinator｜#1105 ​Post-Retouching｜Comma Studio Photography Assistant｜TrunkStudio ​Brand Acknowledgements｜TOD’S

Moment of Freedom

In 2023, for a very long period of time, Xiao Zhan spent it with his actor friend Vincent.

He would always remember the scene when they first met: Vincent was very tall, his neck was extremely long, his body was full of muscles, the sun shone on his skin, which glowed red. He held his head high and was very elegant, ignoring everyone and walked into the riding course proudly — yes, Vincent is a horse.

After a while, Vincent suddenly started kicking backwards, when he passed other horses, he kicked them first without a care, and then ran wildly around the riding course. “I was dumbfounded at the time,” Xiao Zhan said. He pointed at Vincent and looked at the equestrian teacher, “Are you sure?” The equestrian teacher said calmly, “Yes.”

Vincent was selected from more than 1,000 horses and became one of the actors in the movie “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, playing the role of “Little Red Horse”, the mount of the hero Guo Jing.

For Xiao Zhan, the actor who portrayed Guo Jing, riding the “Little Red Horse” was the first step to becoming Guo Jing.

This is a test that the two actors experienced together, exploring each other, testing each other, breaking through each other’s boundaries, and finally reaching mutual understanding and trust.

Vincent was very smart. He was almost the smartest horse among the horses. He had his own unique way of being lazy and would often stop moving after running for a while. Xiao Zhan would whisper in his ear, “Little Red, can you run 2 more laps?” Little Red would ignored him. If Little Red didn’t want to move, and no one can persuade him; when Little Red was unhappy, he would just kick his butt up and throw people off fiercely.

Time and waiting, these were what Xiao Zhan could give the most, and there was no other way.

He said that if Little Red Horse was unwilling, he would stop. When Little Red House was willing to accept him, he would spend more time getting acquainted and training. Gradually, Little Red Horse and Xiao Zhan reached a tacit understanding. He knew that as long as the training was completed every day, everyone could rest. Later, during the filming break, Xiao Zhan also did not forget to feed Little Red Horse with carrots to reward his partner.

Now talking again about getting along with Little Red Horse, Xiao Zhan said that he felt very happy, it was a feeling of freedom.

Riding freely, understand the moods, personalities and habits of another species freely. They accompanied each other day and night, trusted each other, and eventually became friends.

For more than 2 months in the summer of 2023, Xiao Zhan lived a life like this: getting up at around 6 o’clock in the morning, going out at around 7 o’clock, crossing the Sixth Ring Road in Beijing, heading to the riding course in the suburbs. If there was a traffic jam, just distance alone would take nearly 2 hours. That state was like going to school, with horse riding in the morning and martial arts in the afternoon, or sometimes it’s all horse riding for the whole day and then physical training. He could rest a day in a week, and occasionally 2 days. After returning home, he would still continue to do strength training as long as he had time.

Director Tsui Hark treated “The Legend of the Condor Heroes” rigorously and specially, requiring the actors to devote themselves wholeheartedly to such a “semi-enclosed” period of time. Actress Zhuang Dafei, who portrayed Huang Rong, remembered that Xiao Zhan would bring the actors to train more, because he had the foundation of exercise before and was relatively professional, like a physical fitness teacher, he would lead everyone to do warm-up and stretching exercises. “There felt kind of like the classmates were in class together, and the monitor was leading us in training.”

During that time, extreme exhaustion allowed Xiao Zhan to fall asleep quickly every day. That was another kind of freedom he felt, the freedom of creating a new character.

Black Coat – BINGJIE PENG

We asked Xiao Zhan, in the past five years, have you had a particularly free moment spiritually? His answer was: “My days on the set made me feel free.” The road to the riding course was long and also made him happy.

Director Song Xiaofei also witnessed these days. At that time, the film “Sunshine By My Side” they collaborated on was in the post-editing stage. He knew that Xiao Zhan was very busy every day during the latter scenes, doing things such as fitness, horse riding, and archery, and occasionally Xiao Zhan would tell him, aching back, but he found that Xiao Zhan had a more relaxed and free state – didn’t care too much about whether there was some dirt on his face, whether he was sweating or oily, he was more concerned about whether the role was accurate.

When we spoke about these unseen 5 years, Xiao Zhan would mark the year with each work. In 2020 “Ace Troops” was filmed, in 2021 it was “A Dream Like a Dream” and “The Longest Promise”, in 2022 it was “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin” “Sunshine By My Side”, in 2023 it was “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, in 2024 it was “Zang Hai Zhuan”, one after another, he approached those characters with curiosity, some non-repeated and more complex characters, and searched for different answers to life in them.

When working with Director Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan always had a kind of respect. When they first met 2 years ago, he did not even ask why Tsui Hark came to see him. When saying goodbye, he did not even dare to say “looking forward to cooperating” for fear of appearing rude. It was only after some time that he learned that Tsui Hark wanted him to play Guo Jing.

But why did the cooperation start from Little Red Horse? Perhaps we can find the answer in the original novel “The Legend of the Condor Heroes”. To Guo Jing, Little Red Horse was a partner, a comrade-in-arms, even a family member, and more importantly, there was a scene between Guo Jing and Little Red Horse in the original novel. That was a very important turning point in Guo Jing’s growth, and it was also Guo Jing’s first real battle after learning the Quanzhen Sect’s internal cultivation skill, his courage, focus and super long endurance allowed the Jiangnan Seven Weirds to renew their understanding of their apprentice again, and helped him to become the “Great Hero”.

Regarding Guo Jing and the Little Red Horse, there was this description in the original novel: “The little red horse galloped wildly, dashing back and forth on the grassland for more than an hour, but yet it was feeling more and more energetic. All the shepherds were shocked by this. The old shepherd knelt down and murmured a prayer, begging for the heavens to not bestow disasters for offending their Dragon Horse, then yelled loudly, wanting Guo Jing to get off the horse quickly. However, Guo Jing was in full focus and laid very close to the horse’s back, as if tightly bound with a rope, rising and falling with the horse’s prances, and never falling off the horse.”

Xiao Zhan, who had become acquainted with Guo Jing, could also realized that this seemed to be a metaphor for Guo Jing’s life path: no matter how his fate will filled with ups and downs, he would not be thrown off the horse. He would hold the reins firmly, using a seemingly clumsy and yet irreplaceable way to step into Jianghu and become the great hero of a generation.

When Xiao Zhan became acquainted with his little red horse Vincent, he would also have his own answer to this question: As one living in Jianghu, pain and accidents are unavoidable, as long as he could hold on to his reins, he would eventually find the moments of freedom waiting for him.

Camel windbreaker, beige sweater, white jeans, and belt are all TOD’S

Innocent Confusion

Before the moment of freedom arrives, there will most certainly be a long period of grinding.

That was a long table, with more than 30 actors sitting around it, and the first script reading meeting that Spring began. This play has been performed for more than 20 years, some of them had been there since the debut performance, and perhaps many actors were new. Everyone had to introduce themselves, it was Xiao Zhan’s turn. Before he spoke, countless guesses kept popping up in his mind, “Oh my god, they’re all going to think I’m a rookie, will they wonder where this child came from?” He thought nervously and said in a low voice, “Hello everyone, I am Xiao Zhan.” 3 years later, when recalling this scene to “Portrait”, Xiao Zhan commented on himself at that time, “completely, very, very insecure.”

It was the Spring of 2021. Xiao Zhan was invited to star in the Yanghua version of “A Dream Like a Dream”. This was his first time on the drama stage and played one of the spiritual roles of the play, “Patient No. 5”, a role who he regarded as a “very sacred” role.

Xiao Zhan had heard of “A Dream Like a Dream” when he was participating in an art troupe in university. He knew it was a play about life and death, impermanence and reincarnation, and became curious about it. Now, when it was him to play the role, “I couldn’t believe it.” He was neither a major in acting nor had any drama performance experience, so why should he take on such an important role? But because he liked it so much, he accepted the invitation.

The story of “Patient No. 5” attracted Xiao Zhan. It was an extremely complicated fate – his child had passed away, his wife had disappeared, he had suddenly contracted a strange disease and endured much suffering. At the last moment of his life, he decided to journey afar, to travel around the world. In Paris, France, he met his lover, met with the mystery of another person, and for the rest of his life, he was looking for answers, looking for the answer to the mystery of life.

It was executive producer Wang Keran’s decision for Xiao Zhan to play the role of “Patient No. 5” in the Yanghua version of “A Dream Like a Dream”. Before 2019, Wang Keran had never heard of the name Xiao Zhan. The first time he knew about him was because they had accidentally stayed in the same hotel, he heard from others that a very popular actor named Xiao Zhan was also staying here.

In 2020, Wang Keran was looking for a new version of “Patient No. 5”, and a friend told him that he could pay attention to Xiao Zhan.

Wang Keran believed that the most mysterious part of a person’s destiny is impermanence. A few years ago, he told “Portrait” that Xiao Zhan and “Patient No. 5” had something in common, which was very complicated and had a sense of destiny. “As people live they would be fulfilled, and as they live they would suffer blows again.”

In July of that year, Wang Keran approached Xiao Zhan and invited him to have a conversation about drama with playwright Wan Fang. In fact, he wanted to observe the young actor. A few days later, Xiao Zhan handed over a long interview outline, which touched Wang Keran.

He told “Portrait” that he chose Xiao Zhan not only because of his sensitivity to words and his deep diligence, but more importantly, during the conversation with Wan Fang, he noticed that Xiao Zhan exuded a kind of “innocent confusion”, a characteristic especially belonging to “Patient No. 5”, and he wanted to explore the origin of this “innocent confusion”.

“I was curious, that in a violent collision, a person’s soul must feel confused, and this confusion may be more severe than I imagined.” Wang Keran said.

Xiao Zhan was indeed at a loss at that time. In 2015, he had entered the entertainment industry through a talent show, and from an ordinary designer, he became a member of an idol boy. In 2019, he became popular with the TV series “The Untamed” and became the actor with the most attention in China. Everything had happened so fast.

Stills from the drama “The Untamed”

When he was a child, Xiao Zhan liked to read “Stories” (TN: A leading Chinese language fortnightly literary magazine published in China) very much. The stories in it were all kinds of strange, with ups and downs of fate, and as a child, he found out for the first time what impermanence is. He remembered that when Wang Keran met him for the first time, he told him that he was chosen because of “a kind of impermanence”, he also understood that at certain moments, the fate of himself and “Patient No. 5” was intertwined. Rather than saying that “Patient No. 5” needed him, it would be better to say that Xiao Zhan also needed “Patient No. 5” at that time.

When we asked Xiao Zhan, what was the point he empathized the most with “Patient No. 5”?

“Looking for an answer. An answer to anything.” Xiao Zhan said. “Portrait” and Xiao Zhan had not seen each other for 5 years, the last filming was at the beginning of the new year in 2020. In the next 5 years, many new problems occurred, which also gave him many new confusions.

Xiao Zhan told “Portrait” that the arrival of “A Dream Like a Dream” is very important to him, “extremely important”, not only for a breakthrough in performance, but also a spiritual influence and support. “When I really need this kind of energy, it miraculously appeared, and it gave some answers to many questions.”

He knew that he had to seize this opportunity, just like holding the reins of a horse, and he had to decide his own direction.

Gray shirt, dark gray jacket and tie – Sean Suen; Vest jacket – Masion Margiela

The Answer of A Dream Like A Dream

The answer was not easy to obtain.

After taking on “Patient No. 5”, Xiao Zhan began to suffer from insomnia all night long. When he was awake, he would be reading the script, before joining the group, he had already memorized all the lines, and he had rehearsed many scenes at home many times. Despite this, he was still so insecure.

Regarding his nervousness at that time, Xiao Zhan shared a detail with “Portrait”, when he read the first line during the first reading meeting, his attention was not on himself, but on others. He appeared to be staring at the script in front of him, but he was actually using his peripheral vision to secretly observe the reactions of the other actors, until he finished reading, and he found that everyone had a little surprised reaction: “Hey, it seems okay.”

In the book “Everything is for Drama” (TN: Wang Keran’s book on his work methodology) also recorded the behind-the-scenes story of “A Dream Like a Dream”: Xiao Zhan had already memorized all his lines before he came, he brought with him the state of “Patient No. 5”, and could start rehearsing immediately upon arrival.

Wang Keran was very concerned about Xiao Zhan’s state, not only because of his huge fan base, but also because the new version of “Patient No. 5” had to be judged by all audiences and professional dramatists. The book “Everything is for Drama” summarized the condition at that time: “A thorn has been stuck in the back of this crew since half a year ago — will the newly joined Xiao Zhan be able to perform on the stage of the drama?”

Very soon, Wang Keran discovered that Xiao Zhan had devoted himself entirely to it. During rehearsals, actors would be easily attracted to their mobile phones, but at the rehearsal venue, Wang Keran observed that Xiao Zhan never wasted a minute. He never lowered his head to look at his mobile phone. When others were rehearsing, he was also observing, thinking and learning.

Recalling the scene a few years ago, Xiao Zhan said that he liked that kind of life very much. He was immersed in rehearsals every day, and it felt like going back to school again. Everyone rehearsed and discussed, and the teacher gave feedback, revised and polished, everyone was creating together. For him, “A Dream Like a Dream” was like a school, and even more like a dream.

Before the premiere, Xiao Zhan’s nervousness reached its peak. He was the opening actor, and the first line of the eight hour long “A Dream Like a Dream” was his. When he stood still and the spotlight shone on him, there was only whiteness in front of him, the world seemed to have stopped in silence. He remembered that he couldn’t hear anything that day, besides his own heartbeat, thump, thump, thump… when he finished saying the first line, his hearing recovered.

This might be the allure of the stage, although the audience was silent, Xiao Zhan could also feel “the air is clapping”. Wang Keran also remembered the situation on the day of the premiere, he felt that Xiao Zhan had almost “completely and perfectly expressed the emotions of ‘Patient No. 5’ that day”.

Starting in April 2021, Xiao Zhan followed “A Dream Like a Dream” to travel across the country. In more than two years, he appeared in many performances, and also gained a lot. What Xiao Zhan liked the most is that after each performance, the director and all the actors would get together and express together: “We have carried the love and passion from so many audiences, so we must give these things back to everyone.”

Every time, Xiao Zhan would say that he would never cry and would control his emotions, but every time everyone would discover that he went back with his eyes swollen from crying.

He became “Patient No. 5” without any reservations. There was like an invisible rope between him and “Patient No. 5”, and every time he performed “Patient No. 5”, his state of mind would also affected, “no performance is the same”, the veteran actors would tell him that this was right, and even if they had performed it for 10 years, they would still have new feelings every time, this was how stage plays were. Xiao Zhan also knew that it was not just “Patient No. 5” holding onto the other end of the rope, but also his persistence in performing, he had not released his hand.

At the end of “A Dream Like a Dream”, “Patient No. 5” had to stand on the stage and sing a song acapella. Every time he performed until this point, he would fall deeply into a complex emotion, because before that, he had foreseen the death of “Patient No. 5”.

From the lights off to the lights on, there was a transition time of 5 or 6 seconds. Xiao Zhan would always ask the staff behind the scenes to help him turn off the mic for a while, he would quickly wipe away his tears, sniff his nose and adjust his condition.

Sometimes, the helpless feeling of intertwined fate would still come up. One time, he was singing with a bit of crying, he felt very guilty and felt that his performance was not perfect. The actress Feng Xianzhen, who played the elderly Gu Xianglan at that time, said to him : “Your performance today was very moving, did you know? This is the drama itself.”

In the more than 2 years since he became “Patient No. 5”, Xiao Zhan had received a lot of comfort, companionship and awakening. Little by little, he had found his place, and also found some feedback. Backstage, the sign in his lounge wrote “Patient No. 5” instead of Xiao Zhan.

Wang Keran said that the performance of “Patient No. 5” lying on the bed made the deepest impression on him. That line made him feel that Xiao Zhan truly understood the character: “The confusion about himself and the confusion about fate, he had to get into (the role) so that he could truly feel it, express it, be powerful, and he did it.”

Beige suit jacket, beige suit trousers – Ami; Bow tie – Sean Suen

Nutrients

The opening up of his individual happened bit by bit. Offstage, at some certain unnoticeable moments, Xiao Zhan would always be looking outside, allowing the wind of freedom to blow in from the gaps in life.

No one noticed that Xiao Zhan was among them.

He appeared on Binjiang Road — the most famous urban promenade in Chongqing, walking as before; he appeared at a roadside food stall, eating Xiao Mian (TN: Spicy Chongqing noodles) with good friends; he appeared in the most prosperous downtown area of ​​a certain city, taking pictures everywhere with a camera.

In the past few years, he had occasionally wandered around, biked, watched movies, and walked around freely.

These moments were so important to him. “It’s like I’m a tree. Have you ever seen a tree growing in the air before? No, it must land on the ground. That’s how it feels.” Xiao Zhan told “Portrait”, real people, real lives, those were his soil.

When we first met Xiao Zhan, he said that hustle and bustle of life was very important to him, and that kind of life gave him a down-to-earth feeling. Over the past 5 years, he had repeatedly emphasized the importance of life in interviews, he would remain sensitive and capture daily details, observing the status of the filming crew, observing Chongqing residents along the Jialing River, and observing the delivery riders.

Unable to sleep at night, he would often sit by the window in a daze, he would think about what people would be doing in the windows where the lights were not switched off at 2 or 3 in the morning. Were they working overtime? Or having insomnia? Sometimes on rainy nights, he would see people running with umbrellas and others walking leisurely without umbrellas. He would be curious about what stories those people had.

Life has given him a lot of nourishment and strength, enough to give him the confidence to cope with difficulties and enter the moment of freedom again, and family was an important space that provided these nourishment and strength.

Last summer, Xiao Zhan and his parents traveled to Europe, they had spent more than a week together closely. The last time a family of three traveled like this was when he went to Lijiang, Yunnan when he was in high school. At that time, Xiao Zhan was in adolescence and was very rebellious. He entertained himself and did not want to spend more time with his parents. More than 10 years later, he had the opportunity to travel with his parents again, and his thoughts then was that he hoped to spend some time together with his parents so that they could see his own type of living condition.

The short trip came to an end, and he and his parents parted ways on a foreign beach. His parents continued their trip, and Xiao Zhan ended his vacation and went to work. After that lunch, they would head to their next destination. He remembered the scene of their separation that day very clearly. the alley was very narrow, so narrow that only one car could pass, when the car drove in, pedestrians on both sides had to turn sideways and stand against the wall. The car to pick up Xiao Zhan came first, and he could not stay any longer, just like the chime of a clock that struck o’clock, the pumpkin carriage had come to pick him up, and the lovely dream was about to end.

He and his parents maintain a traditional Chinese family relationship, love was very reserved and silent, when facing loved ones, they would never express too many emotions. They would only pretend not to care and say, go quickly, take good care of yourselves.

But that day, Xiao Zhan stood at the door of the restaurant. He hugged his mother first, and then his father. All of his perceptions were magnified again, he remembered that when he was hugging his mother, a middle-aged lady walked sideways past them, she was wearing a white dress with blue prints. As he hugged his mother, he watched a gust of wind blow by and the lady’s skirt swayed, and the wind smelled of the sea.

The movie-like scene was deeply imprinted in his mind. When talking about this scene, Xiao Zhan showed the most emotional expression that day. He closed his eyes and imagined that he was back at the beach, holding his hands in the air as if he was hugging his mother again. This was almost one of his moment of the year. This complete relaxation gave him some lasting strength. During that trip, he also publicly posted a photo with his parents on social networks for the first time, although it was only the back view.

Xiao Zhan said that he did not contact his parents every day, but he had a strong sense of bond. His parents rarely asked about his work, and they did not have many in-depth conversations, and would only say when he encounters difficulties: “Happiness is more important than anything else. It’s no big deal, otherwise come home.”

He found that when he was with his parents, they would always talk about his childhood. When he was in high school, he was very irritable and didn’t want to listen too much. Now that he is in his 30s, he had the urge to “talk more, the more the better” instead, he wanted to hear how he grew up. These were all his origins, and also the reason he grew up to be Xiao Zhan.

A few years ago, he expressed in an interview that he wanted to find “real life”. He was worried that he was too far away from the material world and would lose his judgment on reality. This year, he suddenly changed, perhaps through more observation, or perhaps it was during that trip that he confirmed one thing, “I am living in the real, material life”.

The material life related to his parents and hometown in the past 20 years was like a thick and gentle net that gently supported Xiao Zhan and helped him resolve many doubts about real life. That is the world closest to his individuality. That was his soil and his nourishment, nourishing him continuously and steadily, allowing him to stay convinced that he was still truly living.

Now, Xiao Zhan occasionally dreams, and the scenes in his dreams are all the old houses of his childhood. It was an old residential building, his home was on the fifth floor and every time he opened the door, his father, mother and grandma were all there, as the old house slowly emerged, he could remember the bedroom, living room, table lamps, and even the kitchen exhaust fan.

Xiao Zhan said that that home was like a safe house. Whenever he felt tired or unhappy, he would dream of the old house. Sometimes he would be very happy, sometimes he would wake up feeling a little despondent. But he knew that no matter what happened, there was no need to worry, as long as he wanted to, he could return to that safe house in his dream.

Dark blue jackets, dark blue sweaters, and blue jeans are all TOD’S

Dissatisfaction

Those absorbed nutrients determined what kind of tree a person would grow into. Xiao Zhan once said in the documentary “Marvelous City: Chongqing” that he grew up in Chongqing, and the mountain city nourished him for more than 20 years. He climbed mountains and obstacles every day, going against the flow. His daily life was to “climb” every day, so there were some elements of “obstinacy” in his character. Growing up in such a land of soil, he felt a lot of dissatisfaction and had many thoughts of improvement.

On December 31, 2024, “Portrait” met Xiao Zhan again in the recording studio in Beijing. It was the last day of the year and the atmosphere of the New Year was everywhere. He did not participate in any New Year’s Eve activities, but just stayed in a small warm yellow room, dubbing for the post production of an upcoming work. By nightfall, he had been dubbing continuously for more than 8 hours.

“Let’s do it again”, this is what Xiao Zhan said the most frequently, “let’s do it again”, “I’ll try again”, “come on, do it again”.

There was an inner monologue that lasted nearly 2 minutes, he had dubbed it several times. The director thought it was enough, “Let’s do it again,” Xiao Zhan said again. The director was a little surprised and asked, “All of them?” Then Xiao Zhan dubbed the nearly 2-minute monologue twice.

Several directors who have worked with Xiao Zhan all mentioned that “do it again” is one of the things he often says on the set. Director Jiang Jiajun recalled that during the filming of “The Longest Promise”, there was an underwater scene. The temperature of the water shed was not high, and he went in and out of the water many times. The actor quickly lost his warmth and his lips were shivering. But at the end of each scene, Xiao Zhan would come over and ask about the shooting effect, and whether another take was needed. This was also the part that impressed him most about Xiao Zhan.

Wang Keran also shared the same feeling with “Portrait” before. When rehearsing “A Dream Like a Dream”, many times he felt that it could proceed and the performance was quite good, but Xiao Zhan would still ask himself to do it again. He concluded that this was Xiao Zhan’s “dissatisfaction” with himself.

When filming the TV drama “Sunshine By My Side”, Director Song Xiaofei would receive a call from Xiao Zhan every day before going to bed. He would speak continuously on the other end of the phone and say: Director, what do you think about the scene tomorrow? That’s what I think, do you think it’s right? Can I understand this line this way? Song Xiaofei said that among the actors he worked with, Xiao Zhan was very outstanding. When working, they always maintained close, pleasant, active and effective communication.

Stills from the TV drama “Sunshine By My Side”

He could feel some of Xiao Zhan’s anxiety, always worrying that he was not doing well enough. Sometimes, what he did more on the phone was to comfort Xiao Zhan, “You are fine, you can relax tomorrow.” There was a drunken scene, Song Xiaofei thought it was okay not to drink, but Xiao Zhan insisted on drinking a little wine, saying that it would be unrealistic to not drink at all. That day, he took a sip of wine and his face suddenly turned red, “he is all about doing it right, he is such an actor”.

During filming, as long as Xiao Zhan had time, he would always sit next to the director, observing other actors and how everyone worked. Jiang Jiajun remembered that there was an important scene in the snow in “The Longest Promise”. Xiao Zhan arrived at the scene early, placed a small folding chair in the middle of the artificial snow scene, and sat quietly on it. He did not disturb Xiao Zhan, because he knew that Xiao Zhan was brewing his emotions.

Song Xiaofei also remembered that on the set, Xiao Zhan always sat very low. He was afraid of affecting other people’s field of vision. He huddled in the corner and watched other actors acting, and he was not stingy with his praises, “they acted really well”, when hearing this, Song Xiaofei would send encouragements, “you also acted very well”.

When filming “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, Xiao Zhan would sneak into Tsui Hark’s small tent and sit quietly next to him, listening to Tsui Hark’s exchanges with the staff and watching Tsui Hark draw storyboards with a brush. He said, it was so great, he only knew of the name Tsui Hark before, but seeing all this with his own eyes, it felt even more magical.

Being dissatisfied with the performance, the status, the script and the role made him move forward step by step.

Over the past 5 years, Xiao Zhan has tried his best to take on more different roles, including soldiers, military courtyard youths, designers, he had also tried different work genres, such as period dramas, urban dramas, and military themes. All these dissatisfaction had made him understand performance better and constantly calibrating his judgment. As long as he continued to perform one work after another, and tightly holding onto every work, better moments would arrive for him.

Recently, he has chosen two more complex characters, Guo Jing and Zang Hai.

After taking on the role of Guo Jing, he asked anyone he met, what’s your impression of Guo Jing? Many people would mention that fortune favors fools, but he did not understand it that way. He remembered Tsui Hark asking him, could a stupid person learn the complete Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms? When Xiao Zhan got to know Guo Jing deeply, he discovered that Guo Jing was not stupid at all, but was a very serious and pure person.

Interestingly, he remembered that when he met the director for the first time after joining the movie group, Tsui Hark asked him and Zhuang Dafei, do you know any rock musicians? You are the rock musician version of Guo Jing and Huang Rong. Xiao Zhan said that he and Zhuang Dafei looked at each other and were a little confused at that time, but during the filming process, he finally understood, the so-called rock musicians was about the kind of reckless persistence.

For a period of time, under Tsui Hark’s guidance, he watched boxing videos every day and pondered the boxers’ gazes when they were fighting. Slowly, he found the Xiao Zhan version of Guo Jing’s gaze. It was neither foolish nor dull, but a seeking “gaze as sharp as an eagle” during battle. He said that after several months of filming, he understood Guo Jing and his Jianghu from a more complex perspective.

Xiao Zhan also has a new work “Zang Hai Zhuan”, it is a grand costume drama. The “Zang Hai” he portrayed bore a blood feud and hid his name in search of the truth, the character’s sense of destiny and complexity were further enhanced.

Such intricate clues gave Xiao Zhan more to think about and more to express. Xiao Zhan and Director Cao Yiwen were of the same age, they had similar personalities traits. They were both very persistent and very serious. They would often discuss a detail from online to offline, continuing their discussions after knocking off, one day, their discussion lasted until 3 or 4 o’clock in the early morning.

Zheng Xiaolong is the executive director of “Zang Hai Zhuan”. He told Xiao Zhan that the most important thing was to enrich the characters based on people and human nature itself. Xiao Zhan said that Zheng Xiaolong would give him various ideas, that he could act this way or that way. Zheng Xiaolong told “Portrait” that Xiao Zhan not only worked hard on his lines, but also worked very hard to empathize with his character. He performed many emotional scenes over and over again, “his acting was completely explored in practice”.

Xiao Zhan said that when he first entered the industry, he was more of a passive recipient. Directors and senior actors would tell him how to act, and he just listened and did it. “Understand, understand” is what he said the most. Starting from “The Untamed”, he realized that he had changed a little and gradually found his own way of expression.

At the late dubbing scene of “Zang Hai Zhuan”, we also saw this scene: Sometimes when the director puts forward an idea, Xiao Zhan would not say understand immediately, but would think about it for a few seconds. Sometimes something as small as whether his breath is closer or further away from his co-actor, Xiao Zhan would have his own understanding.

The New Year was coming, and Xiao Zhan’s voice was still ringing in the dubbing studio, “do it again” and “try again”, 2025 is the 9th year of Xiao Zhan’s debut, he knew that this kind of dissatisfaction and “do it again” would also accompany him for a very long journey.

Gray shirt, dark gray jacket and tie – Sean Suen; Vest jacket – Masion Margiela

Go Ahead

On the day we met again after 5 years, we let Xiao Zhan watch the video interview shot for “Portrait” in 2020. At the end of the video, he smiled at the camera and asked: “Looking forward to the next 5 years, what will Xiao Zhan be like? “

He said that this was the first time he watched this video in five years. He never watched his own interviews, so he felt a little embarrassed and a little awkward. But he also frankly expressed his feelings: “The me then was very young and naive, and also very vivid, aye, you see the eyes were shining, I really wanted the world to know me, everyone come and see me.”

When he was young, he listened to Stefanie Sun’s “Youth Without Limits”, the lyrics sang, “I am twenty-five years old, learning the moves that an adult should do”, at that time, he thought that 25 years old was so far away, and he should have become a very mature adult.He would not have imagined that he would enter the entertainment industry at the age of 25, opening up a new life. Now he is 33 years old, reaching an age when he “didn’t even dare to think about it” when he was a child.

5 years later, what kind of person has Xiao Zhan become?

After entering the age of 30, Xiao Zhan obviously felt some subtle changes in his body. During the filming of “Zang Hai Zhuan”, he suffered from a long-lasting illness. His tonsils were constantly inflamed, and he had recurring coughs, fevers and facial swelling.

One early morning, he had to shoot a horse riding scene. At that time, he had already experienced Little Red Horse on the set of “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, so horse riding was not a problem. That day, he just felt that the sun was a bit dazzling and it was a little difficult to open his eyes. Unexpectedly, Director Zheng Xiaolong said, why are you swollen like this? He leaned closer to the monitor to watch the replay, and saw that he was galloping with two eyes swollen like frog eyes.

In 2021, because he was filming a military-themed work, he started to do physical training and had maintained the habit of exercising since then. When playing the role of Guo Jing, he began to gain muscle and weight. Guo Jing grew up in the Mongolian grasslands and was a man of martial arts, his appearance should be rough. In order to achieve the change in appearance, he did strength training almost every day.

Bystanders could also feel the changes that fitness had brought to Xiao Zhan. Song Xiaofei remembered the first time he met Xiao Zhan. He had just finished running that day and trotted up the stairs. His hair was a little sweaty and his body was emitting a hormonal aura, “he came jumping up and down”. Because he was moved by this scene, Song Xiaofei specially changed the script and specifically filmed the scene where the male protagonist Sheng Yang got up early to exercise, packed himself up as quickly as possible, and rushed to the subway full of energy, “it felt so good to see Xiao Zhan that day, I really wanted to show it to everyone”.

Fitness was also a kind of control over the body. Of course, the frequent warning signals on his body last year also warned him that he had reached his age, he was no longer a person who could stay up all night and still be energetic the next day. He needed to take better care of his body and solve the problems that his body gave him.

In the past, he might have wondered, why did he get sick? Now, he would exercise with clear goals and adjust his condition. The Xiao Zhan in his 20s wanted to find answers to problems, the Xiao Zhan in his 30s, wants to solve specific problems.

Beige suit jacket, beige suit pants, vest – Ami; Bow tie – Sean Suen; Shoes – TOD’S

So, what is the biggest growth in these five years?

“Become calmer and…be more self-focused.” Xiao Zhan told “Portrait” that he had always felt that freedom and self-focus were neutral terms. In the past, he might have cared more about other people’s judgments, but now he hoped to listen to his own voice more, “fate is uncontrollable, but what is controllable is yourself”.

The so-called freedom meant the ability to control one’s own destiny, whether it was fast or slow, whether to walk or gallop, it was all up to him. The reins were not in anyone else’s hands, but in Xiao Zhan’s hands.

In November 2024, Xiao Zhan released his first music album “WM”. There is a song called “Go Ahead”. The music video of that song was like this: In the dim ruins of the city, a beam of light shone on Xiao Zhan. He passed through a black tunnel, passed through the lightning flashes and came to the winding, coiling path. This path extended all the way into the sky above the city. He kept running forward, crossing the broken steps, with sand and stones swirling around him, he did not look back, and he never stopped.

This scene is very much Xiao Zhan’s past 5 years. He always looked at the path underneath his feet and kept striding forward.

5 years ago, when he took on “Patient No. 5 “, he said he wanted to find an answer. 5 years later, we asked him, had he found the answer?

“There is no answer. I have given up looking for the answer. There are not so many whys in life, just do it well and live the present moment.” Xiao Zhan replied.

Regarding this, Xiao Zhan also mentioned a small incident to “Portrait”.

In the early summer of 2019, he was filming in the mountains. The night was very dark and he couldn’t see anything. Suddenly a huge sky lantern rose in the sky. It was the sky lantern used by the crew for lighting. “It was very, very big, like a hot air balloon”, it was the first time in his life that he saw such a big sky lantern, and he also felt guided, walk towards the light and do not look back. That day, he took a photo of the sky lantern, captioned it with 6 words, and posted it on the social media platform. In the past 5 years, this moment had always reminded him — “Don’t look back, ever.”

(Intern Chen Jingxuan had contributed to this text.)

ELLE September Issue Vintage Denim Jacket Acne Studios Quatre Classique ring Quatre Classique series bracelet All are Boucheron

ELLE September Issue Black Sleeveless Vest, Black Shorts All are Gucci 2025 Spring/Summer Men’s Collection

Two black curtains reached the top of the studio ridge, neatly separating the shooting area from the surroundings, there was a need to go through a maze of them to enter the small core space. Pure white, plenty of air conditioning, and the camera shutter sound was high-frequency and continuous.

Xiao Zhan wore black clothes and rarely made any unnecessary movements. For a while, the lights broke down and photography was suspended, so he maintained standing in the dark with one foot on the wooden box; when the staff and the photographer were discussing the photographs, adjusting the styling, he stood alone in front of the display screen, and the weak screen light enveloped his body. Very occasionally, he swayed slightly to the background music, his legs lean but muscular.

#01 I’m afraid of becoming dull

After entering the entertainment industry, these things quickly became part of his daily life – cameras, spotlights, monitors, and barriers. Because of his career and popularity, he had fissioned into countless “Xiao Zhans”, such as giant portraits on the facades of high-end shopping malls, the projections of an astonishing number of fans, or the appearance of characters in successive movies and TV series.

White Tie Printed Vest Balmain Quatre Double White Series Rings, Diamond Ring Quatre Black Series Rings, Diamond Ring All are Boucheron

Currently, in the dressing room after the shooting, Xiao Zhan was carrying his box of whole grain salad, vividly imitating the scene of meeting director Zheng Xiaolong.

“I was a little bit hesitant, so I asked the director if he wanted me to be thinner or stronger? He said, thin, of course thinner, so good looking, sharp.” After a while, Zheng Xiaolong saw him again while taking final costuming photographs, “He said, hey, you’ve done well.” From then till now, he has lost more than five kilograms.

Xiao Zhan, the source of all of this fission, was presentable and relaxed, to him the glamor seen by the outside world was a supplementary value. Sometimes he even forgot about it and said, “No one really cares about you.” Then he continued to talk about his work.

Recently completed was the 5-month filming of “The Legend of Zang Hai” in Hengdian. The previous film, also shot for 5 months, was the film “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great Hero” directed by Tsui Hark. This was often the case for large-scale movies and long-running television dramas, it took four or five months once you joined the group. In 2022, his filming work was mainly “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories” and “Sunshine By My Side”, in 2021 it was “The Longest Promise”, in 2020 it was “Ace Troops”, in 2019 it was “Douluo Continent” and “The Oath of Love”.

Endless filming appointments. Hence, it was sometimes impossible to decide whether the interval between filming should be lengthened or shortened.

Black Sleeveless Vest, Black Shorts All are Gucci 2025 Spring/Summer Men’s Collection

In the second half of 2019, during the filming of “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan was filming during the day and recording the variety show “Our Song” at night. Both sides were very challenging. The former was his first time playing the male lead in an urban drama, so he had little experience and was under great pressure; the difficulty of the latter lies in the harmonizing, “I had to memorize all the harmonizing that were different from the song’s tone, and not to be led astray. “

“Then, I thought it didn’t matter. I slept for an hour or two and woke up a good man again. But now, while my mind says it doesn’t matter, my body will make some protests.”

This year he was filming in Hengdian. Later, one day, he discovered that his tonsils were inflamed and it was painful to swallow, but he went to work as usual. Until the director came over and asked him, what happened to your eyes? Only then did he see his own swollen eyes in the mirror, held on until the afternoon, “completely like a frog.”

He had to go to the hospital, the symptoms themselves were very common and could be stopped by taking medicine. What can’t be done was exactly what doctors advised the most: you need to rest.

More importantly, “Perception will become dull. I am really afraid of this, afraid of becoming very mechanical and formulaic.” When saying this, the emphasis was on the word “really”. When he chatted with seniors, “They also said that you have to live life, you need to experience life.”

Black Sequined Shirt CFCL Black Knitted Turtleneck JIL SANDER

The fact is that the life in the limelight is somewhat contrary to the life of ordinary people, but the profession of an actor requires him to be in touch with as many folds of life as possible.

A while ago, he watched a one-man show on a variety show, describing the current workplace situation of contemporary young people. Xiao Zhan had opened a studio and worked before entering the entertainment industry. He could understand the gloom caused by going to work, but the new vocabulary and tools that appeared in the workplace made his sense of resonance weaken. He found himself gradually uncoupling to a certain extent.

#02 The flavor of life lies in the details

In early June, Xiao Zhan took a short vacation and returned to his hometown of Chongqing. He loved walking very much, and one night he walked for several hours, visiting old streets, People’s Liberation Monument, and even around the place where he used to work.

In 2014, the 23-year-old Xiao Zhan graduated from university and worked as a designer in a design studio. Every weekday morning, he transferred from Line 2 to Line 3 at Niujiaituo Station, pushing through the crowds and squeezing onto the light rail, and several times he had been squeezed so hard that his face was pressed against the glass windows.

He simply stuck against the glass and looked at the Jialing River below, seeing the strange rocks exposed in the dry season and various people, including winter swimmers, joggers and fishermen, with a rather optimistic spirit.

Black Sleeveless Vest Gucci 2025 Spring/Summer Men’s Collection

He still loved to observe the people around him——

“Why are you still here so late?”

“People walking in a hurry must be people who have just gotten off work and are rushing back, their behavior is just like when I was trying to catch the subway, when it’s the last train and you want to run, in a panic. Some food delivery guys are rush forward undauntedly. There are also some very leisurely people, sitting there drinking beer, then going home and starting a new day.”

“Everyone has an exciting story happening, and it is everyone’s life that makes up our society. So it is wondrous, everyone is the protagonist, we are all filming our own biographies, how will tomorrow’s story develop?”

At that moment, mixed in, he was like all those who have been busy working in a foreign land for a long time and finally had the time to go home, and discovered that “it had been a long time since I came here, and there had been quite a lot of changes.” “Actually, I’m not particularly happy or have any other feelings. I’m living, that’s all.”

Two and a half days later, Xiao Zhan left Chongqing and returned to Beijing due to work, then rushed to Shanghai, and then in turn to France. This time he brought his parents too. This was a long in coming family trip, within a week, they traveled from France to Switzerland and back to France. Every detail of the trip was magnified, they were happy, bickering, or just walking for a while, “it was all very vivid.”

On the day they parted, they had dinner at a restaurant in the south of France, the car to pick him up arrived and he had to leave first. Before leaving, his mother hugged him and told him to take care of himself. In a rare move, his father also hugged him awkwardly.

Retro Denim Jacket, Jeans All are Acne Studios Quatre Classique Series Necklace (as a belt) Quatre Classique Series Ring Quatre Classique Series Bracelet All are Boucheron

The flavor of life lies in the details.

“I used to think that work was everything and life was not that important, it was nothing more than having a place to sleep, then getting up, going to work, finishing work, and resting. But now, when my parents have grown older, and I have not been with them for a long time, you will feel as if each other’s lives, even your family’s, would become further and further apart. “He especially did not want this to happen.

The way to avoid suspension and regain the real sense of life is not difficult. “When you have time, go out and see more. The important thing is to feel life and feel the world. Even if some of the things are bad and cruel, they are all life, and will burst out with energy when you need it.”

Black Sequined Shirt CFCL Black Knitted Turtleneck JIL SANDER Quatre Classique Series Ring Quatre Classique Series Bracelet All are Boucheron

#03 Stay innocent, stay complex

Halfway through the interview, Xiao Zhan suddenly said that he was ambivalent about long interviews. On the one hand, he was worried that he had not grown up enough and would show ignorance in the conversation, but on the other hand, he wanted to explore some subtle feelings through the conversation because he felt that he was not good at using words to record them.

Observation, feeling, understanding and expression are the essentials of why actors can bring creativity.

“Dialogue is also muscle memory.” Xiao Zhan said, “Although I am very introverted, I am not antisocial. Because I think actors need to learn to express, express your inner thoughts, and digest the content conveyed to you by the other party.”

Before the filming of “Sunshine By My Side” started, he met with the main creators and held several script meetings to deepen his understanding of one another and the characters. In the early stages of “The Legend of Zang Hai”, the producer also mentioned that he would discuss the script in detail and talk about a scene with a lot of his own understanding.

Black Sequined Shirt and Black Suit Pants are all CFCL Black Knitted Turtleneck JIL SANDER Black Lace-up Leather Shoes Sacai

Xiao Zhan is not an actor with a professional background, when he first entered the industry and filmed “Battle Through the Heavens” and “The Wolf”, he had strong doubts and asked himself, am I suitable? The constant negativity and self-refuting made him lose self-confidence.

Sometimes he would be asked what he would be doing now if he had not participated in the talent show, debuted, or entered the entertainment industry at the age of 23. He had thought about it, but did not look back.

If he was not good at acting, then he needed to spend extra time taking acting classes, review more in the monitors, and ask more advice from his seniors. He put his head down stubbornly, and with hard work, he slowly found the knack.

Later the filming of “Where Dreams Being / The Youth Memories” started, Xiao Zhan played Xiao Chunsheng, a young man from the military courtyard in Beijing, who was completely different from him, and even his accent was completely distinct. He felt insecure. Before filming started for many scenes, director Fu Ning would run over and whisper to him, “Don’t be afraid Zhanzhan, just speak bravely, if you feel it, just say it, the audience actually can feel your emotions and what you want to express.” .

He also gradually gained more self-awareness: “Techniques may not be my area of ​​expertise, I rely more on feelings. Only when I feel it myself then I can have the confidence to interpret it. If I rely solely on some techniques, I don’t think it is sufficiently moving.”

It had been 8 years since Xiao Zhan first acted, and his resume included leading male roles in films and television dramas of various themes. But he still felt that he is a newcomer and hopes to cooperate with more experienced production teams if there is an opportunity in the future.

Retro Denim Jacket, Jeans All are Acne Studios Quatre Classique Series Necklace (as a belt) Quatre Classique Series Ring Quatre Classique Series Bracelet All are Boucheron

He would not think too much, he actually did not know his work plan divided by year. He only cared about the work arrangements for the next stage, rather than “asking about things that are too far away.”

“I still feel like a child now, but in fact I am not anymore. It seems like I am still in high school, but in fact I have grown up.” The nature of a child means curiosity, desire to explore, and power of imagination.

He placed the curiosity and desire to explore into his characters, “I mean, for myself, when I dig into the character’s background and past, I explore the complexity and contradiction of the character as a person, and present it. Only in this way can some of his choices and motivations be understood by the audience, and the work may then be good, and only then can you have the audience you have now, right?”

Black Suit Jacket, White Tie Printed Vest All are Balmain Black Suit Pants Courrèges Quatre Black Series Ear Clips (as brooch) Quatre Double White Series Rings, Diamond Ring Quatre Black Series Rings, Diamond Ring All are Boucheron

#(Q&A)

ELLE: During the break, will you think about anything on the set? Xiao Zhan: Of course, I remember that just a few days after filming was completed, I was still dreaming that I was still filming, and the director and I were still discussing how to say that phrase on set? How to handle that scene?

ELLE: Do you actually miss the atmosphere on the set? Xiao Zhan: I like it very much, because I like the feeling of everyone creating together and working together to get something done.

ELLE: When you first entered the entertainment industry and your popularity grew very quickly, you said you felt it was a bit unreal and magical, but now you seem to be quite relaxed. How did this change occur? Xiao Zhan: Rather than being unreal or magical, after so many years, I feel that I hadn’t had time to adapt to such a fast pace at that time, so when I woke up from sleep, I was like where am I today? What am I doing? I think it is a process, just like when you first enter the workplace, you will be very excited, “Work here I come, please take good care of me”, “My highness is here, everyone get out of the way”, “I can do it, I will do it”. (Laughs) But after experiencing a lot of things, you will feel that it seems that everything needs to be considered in the long term.

White Jumpsuit Gucci 2025 Spring/Summer Men’s Collection Quatre Jean Concept Ring Quatre Cofalit Concept Ring Puissance Quatre Concept Ring All are Boucheron

ELLE: In several interviews, you mentioned that you like to play roles that “can convey energy.” Why do you have such a preference? Xiao Zhan: Because I think this is the life of the character. The kind of energy I’m talking about is not just a single, generally understood positive energy, I’m talking about nourishment that can subtly influence and moisturize. I believe that every character has a complete storyline inside, this is what I like very much, and as long as you dig deep, you can move people. I don’t really like to call the villain a “villain”, as it seems to be a bad character from the beginning, but in fact it is not, he may have his own difficulties.

ELLE: It sounds like “transmitting energy” is just a general term, but is it actually about understanding different people through performance? Xiao Zhan: Yes, if you break it down to each character, what they convey is different. But if you want to talk about “good people” and “bad people”, then I don’t think it’s interesting.

ELLE: So do you think performance is a form of communication? Xiao Zhan: Yes, you can say that, I think it’s great to say that, (performance) is a bridge to communicate with the audience. Just like when a drama is broadcasting, I will read some of the audience’s comments and impressions after watching it, and I feel that they have a very rich feelings about the work. When I see some comments that are exactly the same as my thoughts during the filming, I will feel very amazed, as if the bridge is really connected, we don’t know each other in life and have never communicated with each other, but he suddenly understands my thoughts then, I’ll just feel that, oh, acting is a beautiful and magical thing.

ELLE: Do you watch some science fiction movies, TV series, and literary works? Xiao Zhan: Yes, I used to like watching “The Three-Body Problem”, I have actually watched some science fiction movies recently, the American drama “Constellation”, and recently I am watching “Dark Matter”, which is about infinite flow and parallel time and space. Because I think maybe there really is a parallel time and space. Every choice you make will split out a different parallel time and space.

ELLE: Then will you imagine Xiao Zhan in parallel time and space? Xiao Zhan: I will really wonder, for example, is he still an actor? Maybe yes, but is he still filming now? Is he still singing now? Or is he also a designer? Is he an employee or is he his own boss? (Laughs) Really, I will.

ELLE: As for the future, what do you think it will be like? Xiao Zhan: Wow, I feel that the world may return to its original nature when the time comes instead, maybe the world will become a better place, and people will return to very essential communication.

ELLE: This is very interesting. Why do you think so? Xiao Zhan: Anyway, at least now I have a little aversion with this kind of ubiquitous Internet, when we were young, there were no mobile phones, everyone just chatted during meals, my friends would all come downstairs to play, hide and seek, and play various games, I feel that that time was very precious instead.

ELLE: Will there still be an actor career by then? Xiao Zhan: I think there will be. I believe that as long as life goes on, drama will continue. Because everyone needs an outlet, emotional resonance and sustenance, be it images or sounds. So I feel that even if the world is destroyed, as long as there are still people, drama will definitely exist.

01 Relaxation

The studio was by the Huangpu River in Shanghai, Xiao Zhan was wrapped in a black down jacket, he had took off his shoes, and sat cross-legged on the corner of the sofa, looking very relaxed. The filming came to an end for the time being. Although he had been working continuously for more than 7 hours, there was no trace of fatigue on his face.

This is a face that attracts attention all the time. A few months ago, the studio released a Xiao Zhan’s birthday photoshoot, and keen-eyed netizens immediately noticed that his face had “became rounder”. In order to play the character of Guo Jing in the movie “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great Hero”, which was directed by Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan gained weight before joining the group, his cheeks were no longer so thin and his figure was obviously more buff. In the photographs, he had a stubble and the vicissitudes of life were slightly visible on him.

Strictly speaking, “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great Hero” was Xiao Zhan’s second movie. There were many previous classic versions of Guo Jing’s character, and the pressure on him was obviously visible.

On the day of the cover shoot for “GQ”, Xiao Zhan got up very early to go for a run. He could not help but think, my God, I am going to lose muscle mass again after sweating so much. He debated whether to continue, and finally decided to run for 30 minutes. When the time came, he remembered that body fat would start burning after 30 minutes, so he ran for an additional 10 minutes.

Brown suit jacket, vest, trousers, horse buckle loafers, all Gucci

All of these is for work. “Actually, I don’t want to run. Running will lose muscles mass, but I have to run to reduce swelling.” After the filming, he planned to do weights training no matter how late it was. An actor’s self-discipline is to be always ready to shape his image for the character, but he must also strictly control his diet and manage his body shape. Xiao Zhan regards both as professional standards and expects himself to do so

Before meeting, I thought Xiao Zhan would be very cautious about interviews. To my surprise, Xiao Zhan had a rare sense of relaxation, answered all questions, and was even humorous. When mentioning that actors should observe characters in life, he commented on the sitting postures of several people present; when asked what things he did not expect after joining the industry, his answer was that he could not eat whatever he wanted like his high school classmates.

The interview lasted for almost two hours, I became curious about what kind of experience it had been for Xiao Zhan, who had been under immense attention in the past few years. Xiao Zhan said instead that he had forgotten this matter frequently and it did not cause him a lot of trouble in life, the most “cruel” thing might have been “being unable eat as much as you want”.

“I will still sneak out to ride my bike, take a walk, and do a City Walk. There was only one time when I was recognized after walking in a alley for 5 minutes. I also mingled into the cinema and watched a movie. No one will care about you, really. After leaving the Internet, many things will be solved easily. Sometimes it seems like what is before our eyes is the world, this is a misunderstanding, but yet we cannot avoid this misunderstanding, so there is no way around it.”

There were so many things he especially wanted to do, such as taking the subway and going shopping. “I will really squeeze onto the subway, perhaps tomorrow, it’s so normal, I used to take the subway every day.” For Xiao Zhan, this was the life he really wanted. The voices of social media no longer bothered him, “After all these years, can I still live if I’m still bothered? (laughs) It’s really just fine.”

At this stage, Xiao Zhan is very satisfied with his living situation. “I have a job, a life of my own, and an audience that likes me. I have nothing to be dissatisfied with.”

Denim jacket with GG print details, trousers, and horse buckle loafers, all from Gucci

02 Becoming an Actor

To a certain extent, Xiao Zhan’s sense of relaxation stems from his increasingly clear goals. The voices from the external world no longer bothered him, he is clear about what he wants and what he do not want. Now, he is doing more subtraction for himself. In the past two years, he had rarely appeared in variety shows, taking the career of actor as his most important goal at this moment.

In 2023, 3 television dramas starring Xiao Zhan broadcasted, and each character was a challenge for Xiao Zhan. During the interview, Xiao Zhan said many times that he was “under a lot of pressure”, and he said this almost every time when reviewing every stage. But his tone was light, without the heaviness of complaints, more like a post analysis and summary, the reasons were often specific and objective: the first time he came into contact with performing without props, the first time he took on the leading role alone, the first time he acted in an modern drama…

“Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories” was a script that Xiao Zhan particularly liked. He liked stories about that generation very much, as a child he watched some television dramas such as “Once Upon a Time in Beijing” and “Happiness as Flowers”. When he mentioned the 1970s and 1980s, he felt that it was sunny and bright, it was colorful. Many people said that Xiao Chunsheng was a perfect character, but to Xiao Zhan that happened to be his greatest flaw, he thought this character was very interesting and wanted to give it a try. Xiao Chunsheng was a young man from Beijing, hence how to express the character’s imposing manner and speak authentic Beijing dialect was a big challenge for Xiao Zhan, who had lived in Chongqing since childhood.

Denim jacket with GG print details, trousers, and horse buckle loafers, all from Gucci

The Shi Ying character in “The Longest Promise” was aloof, because he did not want to let down everyone’s expectations for his ancient costume appearance, Xiao Zhan tried his best to lose weight before joining the group. “‘The Longest Promise’ was a script I got in 2020. It had the most complete character and most delicate emotions from the scripts I could choose from, it was also very logical and self-consistent, it was my best choice.”

“Sunshine By My Side” was a script that Xiao Zhan has been exposed to for the longest time, starting from the end of 2019. Although Sheng Yang in “Sunshine By My Side” closely overlapped with Xiao Zhan’s pre-debut career, but for him to move his life as a designer to the screen and act in a natural and convincing manner, he did not have confidence. “Modern dramas and life dramas are really unfamiliar fields.” Initially, he was too eager to finish his lines and memorized them completely, but when he said them, it made people think that no one in real life would speak like this, later on he discovered where to break the lines and which words to emphasize in modern dramas, and the logic was actually very strong.

In the past few years, he had acted as a soldier, a doctor, a designer, and a Beijing youth. There were no special considerations, and they all happened naturally. He rarely acted in recurring roles. But when choosing a script, Xiao Zhan would not deliberately avoid themes that he had acted in before, instead he will just put himself in the audience’s perspective to feel whether he could be moved by it.

In 2021, Xiao Zhan starred in the theater play “A Dream Like a Dream”, playing the role of Patient No. 5. On the day of the premiere, many topics related to theater appeared on Weibo hot searches, becoming a phenomenon-level event in the theater circle.

Silver sequin embellished suit ERL, black wide-leg trousers Heliot Emil, black deconstructed embellished shorts Egonlab

Silver sequin embellished suit ERL, black wide-leg trousers Heliot Emil, black deconstructed embellished shorts Egonlab

On acting in “A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan hesitated for a long time. There are many reasons for his hesitation: he was from Chongqing, he was not from a professional background, there is no NG in theater plays, it would last for 8 hours, “Dream Like a Dream” was also very famous, and there had been many classic versions of Patient No. 5 prior. But after reading the script, Xiao Zhan felt that he must perform in it.

Theater play is a very pure thing. Dozens or even hundreds of people gather in a space to tell a story, this is an experience that film and television cannot bring, hence Xiao Zhan yearns for it. He began to maniacally memorize his lines, and enclosed himself in Tangshan to rehearse intensively with the entire group for more than a month, grinding out one scene after another.

“I was very nervous for the first performance. I am still nervous now when I think about it. When Gu Xianglan rang the bell, I shuddered.” The instant the light hit him, Xiao Zhan felt that everything had stopped, he could not see the expressions of the audience under the stage and there was only white left in front of him.

Xiao Zhan adjusted his breathing and began to speak his lines. The director said that the actors in the opening scene controlled the rhythm of the entire story, so every time he said that line, Xiao Zhan was most nervous. As he spoke, he would gradually forget about his nervousness, and after he was done speaking, he would let out a long sigh of relief, and think, ah, it has finally ended.

Once, towards the end of the first half of the performance, Patient No. 5 went on stage to find Gu Xianglan with a painting and an address, and had a long monologue. Walking to the middle of the stage, Xiao Zhan’s mind suddenly stumbled. He could not remember the beginning of the next line. After hesitating for about 1.5 seconds, he chose to skip that word and continued. The audience should not be able to tell the difference, he thought. He could not remember that word even until the end of the performance.

“I couldn’t remember it even when I got to the lounge, so I flipped over the script to take a look, so it was this word.”

“Which word?”

“A very common word, for example, pure drinking water, I was thinking what kind of drinking water? Distilled water? Tap water? Boiled water? I just couldn’t remember it.” Xiao Zhan replied.

Brown vest, trousers both Gucci

Acting is a domain with very profound knowledge. Xiao Zhan said: “I have only scratched the surface so far.” When filming “Sunshine By My Side”, the co-actors were all experienced actors, and in terms of acting skills, Xiao Zhan was still very immature, tended to be over forceful and left traces of performance marks. He told himself to “be less pretentious”, feel everything the other party throws at him with his heart, and respond honestly.

Xiao Zhan once expressed that he had difficulty understanding many characters due to his limited life experience. He had discussed this issue with his seniors, “Everyone has two opinions. Some people will say that of course you have to go through it, without experience, you don’t have a image, how can you portray it? All that you act is fake. Also, there is a voice saying that everything can be resolved by technique.”

Xiao Zhan’s own answer is, “Act more and be exposed to all types of genres” and “cooperate with more good teams, actors and directors.”

“To be honest, what I can do now is to act what my thoughts can reach, it is really difficult for me to act something that I have no concept of at all. Maybe in the future, through a work or cooperation with more good directors and actors, my confusion can be solved. I look forward to this day coming soon.“

Black deconstructed long leather jacket Juun J Black printed shirt Egonlab Black jumpsuit Zickness Savoy clothing bag Gucci

03 Decluttering

Relaxation is a side of Xiao Zhan, he can balance some of the pressure, but there is a part of it that is difficult for him to resolve. Xiao Zhan does not sleep well. “It’s very difficult for me to fall asleep, and I sleep very lightly, there will be situations where I don’t feel rested after sleeping, which affects my state the next day.” This would happen especially when he just joined the drama group and would be in a state of high nervousness, he would often dream about filming on set, but the filming did not go well.

When he would go to different cities, Xiao Zhan would bring the same type of pillows and quilts. “I will bring anything that can help me sleep well.” He had also tried aromatherapy lamps, lavender essential oil, various products that could make him fall asleep when applied on his body, medicinal spray on the pillow that could make people fall asleep, melatonin and meditation music. In the end, he found that the best things that made him sleep well were sleep masks, earplugs, and not looking at his phone, “because I know that once I look at it, I won’t sleep, then I might as well get up.”

Not long ago, Xiao Zhan found an old book “Decluttering” at home. That was recommended to him by his ex-company boss when he was working as a designer. The concept of organizing life described in the book made Xiao Zhan start to rethink what he wanted and what he should give up.

Xiao Zhan has a particularly obstinate side to his character, “If it’s something I insist on and I think that is right, it will be difficult to convince me.” For example, when he decided to be an actor, he did not want to do anything outside of being an actor, “You come and force me, then let’s debate. No one is right or wrong, the team is also doing this for your own good, since isn’t it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want.”

Black deconstructed long leather jacket Juun J Black printed shirt Egonlab Black jumpsuit Zickness Savoy clothing bag Gucci

Xiao Zhan’s acting experience began with a story about “an older commoner chasing dreams in the entertainment industry”. He participated in the talent show at the age of 24, learned dance from scratch, debuted as a boy band, acted in online dramas, played supporting roles in theater movies, until 2019 when he became popular, Xiao Zhan also became a star that attracted attention.

When you decide to do something, you must try your best to do it well. This was what Xiao Zhan has been taught since childhood, when he was in junior high school, his family bought him a mobile phone. When he first started texting, he often used spaces to replace punctuation marks, his father then said to him sternly, “What about the punctuation marks? Why is there no period at the end of the sentence?” From that time on, Xiao Zhan was very concerned about punctuation marks.

Xiao Zhan had been competitive since he was a child, and he was not willing to miss any opportunity when it came to things he could control. When he was taking the bus to school, he would worry about the person on the bus who was asleep and would missed the stop.

For things that he could not control, he would remind himself not to force them and learn to accept them. Until then, do what he could.

When asked which drama Xiao Zhan obtained with his own hard work, Xiao Zhan’s answer was surprising. He said: “Every one.” Before becoming famous, he auditioned for many dramas, and also experienced being replaced after entering the final round of auditions and even trialed the drama in costume. Now, of course, scripts would be handed over, but Xiao Zhan would always tell himself that people only had intentions and could hand them over to many people at the same time. If he found one he really liked, he would take the initiative to meet with the director to explain his understanding of the character.

Black printed shirt Egonlab Black jumpsuit Zickness

Xiao Zhan believes that it is important to have a correct attitude

Xiao Zhan’s growing up environment was no different from that of many born in the 1990s. Mother and father would go to work, grandmother would cook at home, and he would go to and from school every day. If he did not do well in the exam, he would be beaten. After dinner at 6:30 every night, the children would ask him downstairs to play hide-and-seek, wooden figurines, and throw sandbags, as he talked about these, he was very happy. These ordinary little things seemed so precious now. Xiao Zhan said that he was very grateful for the first 23 years of his life before his dream adventure in the entertainment industry. “I cherish it very much, I think it is good.”

He thought that if he had not entered the entertainment industry, he would have lived a life like his classmates and friends, accompanying clients for meals every day, going home and staying up late to catch up on designs.

“Being seen” is a happy thing. No matter how busy he was at work, Xiao Zhan never complained, “If you have a job, then work hard.” “While filming “The Oath of Love”, he was also recording the variety show “Our Song”. During the intervals while waiting for scenes, he would hum softly with his earphones on. The other actors would come over curiously, and Xiao Zhan would smiled sheepishly, explaining that he was practicing the song he was going to sing in the evening. “I don’t have time, I really don’t have time.” At that time, work occupied almost all of his life.

Xiao Zhan rarely takes the initiative to give himself a holiday. “It’s not realistic,” he said flatly. When he was most tired, he could fall asleep just sitting on the set.

This year, Xiao Zhan had a sense of urgency regarding “acting inexperience”, “compared with some seniors, they have already acted in many works in their thirties.” Xiao Zhan knows very clearly that his acting could not improve in leaps and bounds just from one drama, “this might be hard for it to happen to me.”

He once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or an actor that the audience would like after watching it. His answer was the latter, “everyone may not be your fan, or even not particularly interested in you, but when you know that he has a drama on and you might want to watch it because his dramas are pretty good. I want to do that, that’s my current goal. Whether or not I can become the level of the actors I like is a long way to go, take it slowly.”

“Making more dramas and cooperating with more good teams, this is just the one goal at the moment, I won’t consider other things for the time being.” Xiao Zhan said.

Black printed shirt Egonlab Black jumpsuit Zickness

Q&A About Acting

GQ: When did it become clear that you wanted to be an actor? Xiao Zhan: When the public started paying more and more attention to me, I wanted to say, why can’t I do it? I think I can. Sometimes I waver and feel it’s so difficult. Why can’t I do it? For example, when it comes to lines, why are they just not good? Why can’t I speak as well as the others? Is it because I’m from the South? I don’t think so. Then I think, so how can I speak well? I can do it, give it a try.

GQ: In your opinion, what are the professional standards for actors? Xiao Zhan: First of all, having excellent professional skills is an unavoidable topic. You can have a non-professional background, but you must have excellent professional skills. This is what I want to do and what I’m currently doing. I feel like I’m not enough, too far behind. After having excellent professional skills, attitude is very important and whether you love it or not is also very important. If you only view it as a job, you may not be able to go very far. But if you really love it, you will cry for it and laugh for it. This may be the motivation for you to persist. Also having a strong body (laughs), I used to not feel tired when I was in my twenties, but now I will feel very tired after staying up late. This is a terrible thing, it is important to have a strong body, this is your foundation.

GQ: When acting in which character or drama did you feel recognition for? Xiao Zhan: At the beginning, when I was working on “The Wolf”, I was under a lot of pressure, the acting teacher would give me a lot of advice and guidance, and I would constantly subvert my acting method every day, it was a period of confusion. After you got over it, you would find that you have grown, and when you started acting again later, you would gradually find a little bit of feeling, and then you would get over it step by step, this was a cumulative process. I feel that I have too little acting experience. Compared with some of the seniors, who have accumulated many works in their thirties, my current works are still too few and I have not accumulated enough.

Black printed shirt Egonlab Black jumpsuit Zickness

Black printed shirt Egonlab Black jumpsuit Zickness

GQ: Do you feel worried? Xiao Zhan: Yes. Because I think (improving acting skills) is a cumulative process. You can’t take a big step with just one movie. This is hard for that to happen to me, so I have to keep filming, and to keep filming good dramas, don’t waste yourself

GQ: The 3 dramas broadcasted in 2023 stretched from ancient costume to era dramas and urban dramas, what were the considerations? Xiao Zhan: Actually, there were no considerations, it just happened naturally, there were no deliberate avoidance of themes I had acted in before, it’s just (selection) by reading the script. When the scripts were handed to me at that time, I felt attracted to a certain script at the moment, so I chose it, it just happened to be a theme that I had never acted in before.

GQ: Do you feel tired from acting in ancient costume dramas all the time? Xiao Zhan: There are many types of ancient costume dramas, don’t have to separate them into ancient costume dramas and modern dramas, it’s nothing more than sticking on a wig and changing clothes, actually the core is the same, but the outer shell is different.

GQ: Once the drama you filmed airs, will you follow it? Xiao Zhan: I won’t follow them, but I will watch them, I will choose the big scenes that I care about and watch them, counts as me looking for problems for myself.

GQ: Will you watch with the scrolling comments? Xiao Zhan: I used to do it really, and I felt very entertained, laughing and joking with everyone, but now I won’t do it.

White backless suit with fringe Jacquemus

GQ: What kind of character do you want to play now? Xiao Zhan: If I could choose, the best would be the ones I haven’t tried before. I need freshness. If I ask you to do the same thing every day, you will be bored.

GQ: What kind of actor do you want to be? Xiao Zhan: I want to be an actor that the audience can like.

GQ: Have you not already done this to make people like you? Xiao Zhan: No, no, I think it’s far from enough. I once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or to be an actor that the audience likes just by looking at you. Currently I want to be an actor who makes the audience feel good. Everyone may not be your fan, or even not particularly interested in you, but when you know that he has a drama on and you might want to watch it because his dramas are pretty good. I want to do that, that’s my current goal. Whether or not I can become the level of the actors I like is a long way to go, take it slowly.

GQ: Who are your favorite actors? Xiao Zhan: Many, for example Zhou Xun has always been my favorite actress. I recently watched her movie (“Across the Furious Sea”) and it was really great.

GQ: What are your career plans in 2024? Xiao Zhan: Making more dramas and cooperating with more good teams, this is just the one goal at the moment, I won’t consider other things for the time being.

White backless suit with fringe Jacquemus

Q&A About Life

GQ: Do voices on social media bother you? Xiao Zhan: It doesn’t bother me. After all these years, can I still live if I’m still bothered? (laughs) It’s really just fine. It’s fine as long as I am clear about what I am doing. Every time you make a choice, you must clearly know what you are doing, what you have to give up, and what you have to do. So, it’s fine, maybe the team has more troubles.

GQ: Is your personal life unaffected? Xiao Zhan: Very normal! I can go out for a bike ride and a stroll. When you’re walking down the street, no one really cares about you. It’s really not what everyone imagines. Then I walked around freely.

GQ: Are those escape moments for you? Xiao Zhan: Moments of relaxation. Why do I need to escape? I am also in the third dimension, where should I escape to, this is my life, I am the same as everyone. There are many things I particularly want to do, such as squeezing onto the subway and shopping in shopping malls, which are very similar to when I was in school, and maybe I will do them in the future.

GQ: Do you miss the ordinary life very much? Xiao Zhan: It’s not that I miss it, it’s that I think I should do it, this is living. I will really take squeeze into the subway, perhaps tomorrow, it’s so normal, I used to take the subway every day. To me, there’s nothing I can’t do, so what if you discover me? Say hello and leave. It’s just that I don’t want to cause confusion, trouble, or bad reactions to everyone.

White backless suit with fringe Jacquemus

Q&A About Personality

GQ: You haven’t appeared on variety shows in recent years. Is this a conscious choice? Xiao Zhan: Because it’s not suitable, with my personality, being in a variety show is too tiring, I would want to take care of everyone’s feelings, which would make myself very tired. Since I know that it would be this result, then I might as well don’t do it.

GQ: What was your original intention in entering the entertainment industry? Xiao Zhan: I really broke in mysteriously with confusion. The talent shows I used to watch would interview the top contestants, how did you get to this point? The contestant would say that I accompanied my friend to participate in the selection, but my friend failed and I was selected. When I was a child, I thought these things were far away from me, but when it came to myself, it’s really like this, and I think it’s amazing. I entered the idol competition, then I got here and that’s it. Very amazing, life is very interesting.

GQ: What things have you not thought of before after joining the industry? Xiao Zhan: It is a very cruel thing to not be able to to eat freely. When I see my former high school classmates who already have children and have put on some weight, I will sigh, I also want to eat freely like this. Their living status makes me feel that if I had not chosen this path at that time, maybe we would all be the same, we have to socialize and stay up late to catch up on designs, you don’t know how tiring it is to do design, but life is like this and there is no other way.

Dark red blazer Gucci

GQ: How has choosing this path changed you? Xiao Zhan: Maybe I lack a lot of life experiences, in this regard, my classmates and friends are far better than me. They have experienced real things. There are no cameras facing you, no lights, you are living your own real life.

GQ: Are you an emotionally stable person? Xiao Zhan: Comparatively, more, stable. But once it hits some points, I will become very unstable.

GQ: For example? Xiao Zhan: Just… some things that cannot be said, haha. Maybe when something incredulous happens, you will think, what are you doing, or, when something happens that normal people would not do, I will become very angry. Maybe it’s some privacy issue, if this point is breached, I will go “berserk”. Everyone has their own boundaries, and some people have no sense of proportion, I will just stay away from these kind of people. But when the boundaries are broken again and again and the bottom line is touched, I will get very angry.

Dark red suit jacket and trousers both Gucci

GQ: You once said that you have a particularly tenacious side to your personality. What do you mean specifically? Xiao Zhan: Principles, I am a very obstinate person, if it’s something I insist on and I think that is right, it will be difficult to convince me. For example, if I want to be an actor and I don’t want to do anything other than being an actor, if you come and force me, then let’s debate. No one is right or wrong, the team is also doing this for your own good, since isn’t it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want.

GQ: Do you have a perfectionist side? Xiao Zhan: I just want to do it well, and do my best in the current moment. Maybe the result is not good, but what can I do, this is all I can do.

GQ: Can you accept failure? Xiao Zhan: I can accept. I might not have been able to accept it a few years ago, but 32-year-old Xiao Zhan has learned to accept this (laughs).

In 2023, people saw more sides to actor Xiao Zhan.

In “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, he was Xiao Chunsheng, a youth from Beijing. He was sincere and brave, firm and kind, and he pursued his dreams steadfastly despite the ups and downs of fate. The 30-year time span in the drama made many viewers realize that Xiao Zhan, who had a strong youthful temperament, was also able to interpret middle adulthood characters with ease.

In “The Longest Promise”, he was the cold and aloof Grand Priest Shi Ying, the top magic user of Yunhuang, but he also had a complicated and heavy past, he had experienced the entanglements of love and hate in the world, had experienced strong greed, anger, obsession and resentment, and eventually cultivated a heart of justice. Through Shi Ying, the audience once again felt Xiao Zhan’s interpretation of the complexity and layering of characters.

In “Sunshine By My Side”, he was Sheng Yang, a newcomer who has just entered the workplace. He was sunny and cheerful, and had a firm love for the advertising industry. Even if he was suppressed by his supervisors, he would grit his teeth and fight on. Xiao Zhan delicately integrated the idealistic enthusiasm and the roughness tempered by life, the result was three-dimensional and moving.

This year, Xiao Zhan had been constantly switching roles between period dramas, fantasy dramas, and workplace dramas, and had been active in the public eye. Watching the different lives he performed on the screen, the audience began to realize that Xiao Zhan, who had been in the industry for 8 years, had unknowingly become a mature actor capable of various types of roles.

Looking back on 2023, Xiao Zhan believed that this was a fulfilling and rewarding year. His goal had always been to let everyone see his progress and changes through each work, so that his performance could be recognized by the audience.

Following the light of his ideal, his steps never stopped moving forward.

01 Becoming Them

On the road to acting, Xiao Zhan had always been trying to find more possibilities.

When he met Xiao Chunsheng, he was at the stage where he wanted to challenge more new roles. After getting the script of “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, he was quickly attracted to this drama, which was rooted in the 1970s, and moved by the grand story with a time span of 30 years..

On the one hand, Xiao Chunsheng’s sincerity, passion, and friendship deeply attracted him; on the other hand, Xiao Zhan also grew up in the factory area when he was a child, the life and neighborly feelings Xiao Chunsheng experienced had a strong sense of familiarity to Xiao Zhan, which made him resonate to a great extent with Xiao Chunsheng’s choices in family, love, and career.

But aside to resonance, there were also practical problems facing Xiao Zhan: he grew up in Chongqing, whereas Xiao Chunsheng was an authentic Beijinger. How could he grasp the essence of Beijing dialect and capture Xiao Chunsheng’s spiritual temperament? For this reason, Xiao Zhan hired a line teacher before joining the group and spent a long time learning Beijing dialect. In his free time, he would go to Beijing’s alleys with his script teacher and watch the Beijing elders playing chess, cards, and walking birds. These vivid scenes of life allowed Xiao Zhan and Xiao Chunsheng to become more and more familiar, and he could already fully imagine the traces of Xiao Chunsheng’s life here.

The first scene to be filmed was the scene at the Shichahai Ice Rink. At that time, the crew used straw mats to circle an area of ​​more than 10,000 square meters on the Shichahai Sea, restoring the scene of the old Shichahai Ice Rink 50 years ago. At the moment Xiao Zhan stood on the ice rink, he did not have any extra thoughts, he just felt “I am him.”

In Xiao Zhan’s career as an actor, there were many moments of “becoming him”, which were not realized only through emotional resonance. Before performing a role, he would repeatedly search for the character’s supporting points. At those times, he was like a container, putting the character’s personality traits, living habits, and values ​​into his body bit by bit, and then working out the most suitable and fitting shape.

To a certain extent, Xiao Zhan was the person who understood them best, and hence he could become them.

When filming “The Longest Promise”, Xiao Zhan already had a deep understanding of Shi Ying, although he had appeared in works of a similar style before, in his opinion: “The role of Shi Ying feels new to me is that he is a mortal human being, he had human emotions and desires, which are very vivid.” At the same time, “This character has a sense of contrast, he is restrained yet sharp, cold yet empathetic, his character traits are not singular, these gave me a better fulcrum to understand and interpret the character.”

For Xiao Zhan, among all the characteristics of Shi Ying, “coldness” was the most difficult to interpret. He did not attribute Shi Ying’s aloofness to his identity as a Grand Priest, but tried to find resonance points in Shi Ying that would convince him and the audience. With this idea in mind, he chatted with the director and screenwriter on the set to explore Shi Ying’s growth environment and life attitude, and finally presented Shi Ying’s complex and highly contrasting side.

Sometimes, Xiao Zhan would encounter a character he liked, but was not sure whether he could create him with flesh and blood. For example, when he came into contact with Sheng Yang in “Sunshine By My Side”, Xiao Zhan was quickly impressed by this energetic, “wise but not worldly” newcomer to the workplace. However, he hesitated at the time and did not know if he could still be that innocent and lively Sheng Yang, who was like a little sun. For this, he held three script meetings with the screenwriter, and everyone came together to sort out and adjust the character, and a clear and complete Sheng Yang started to appear in Xiao Zhan’s mind finally.

When it came to roles, Xiao Zhan had no fixed restrictions or a certain preferred type. He only had one criterion: this character must be someone he could fall in love with. Because of this love, mutual trust was established and the work became real and vivid.

02 Living Character

During those days on the set, Xiao Zhan’s background colors would fade away and be replaced by a new personality. Sometimes he was more lively and outspoken than Xiao Zhan, and sometimes he had a heavier past than Xiao Zhan.

These differences could not be filled with a few lines, and it would not film strictly with all the lines as planned while on set, Xiao Zhan frequently needed to react on the spot. For example, when filming “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, there were many group scenes, there were many scenes just counting dinner table scenes. In the “Menghai Squad”, Xiao Chunsheng was their eloquent leader, so before filming a group scene, the director would always say “Chunsheng, come and say a few words” to liven up the atmosphere on the scene.

In the days when he became Xiao Chunsheng, Xiao Zhan had adapted to such strong social needs, and he often made impromptu toasts. Even after filming completed, these characteristics will slowly fade away, but in this time and space, they had completely overlapped before.

In every drama, Xiao Zhan woud design some details of the character. When filming “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, because the character Xiao Chunsheng had to go through a time span of more than 30 years, Xiao Zhan deliberately made some explicit distinctions in each age group. For example, in his youth, Xiao Chunsheng would often have a “careless” attitude when speaking, with his head tilted to one side, which looked cocky, and his body movements were lighter. In middle adulthood, not only did his hairstyle and clothes change, but his tone also began to become calmer, and his feet would completely land on ground when walking, forming a clear distinction from the unrestrained youth in the previous stage.

Xiao Zhan would write a biography for every character he played. Before filming “The Longest Promise”, Xiao Zhan discovered that there were a few years where Shi Ying’s experience leaving imperial city and entering Jiuyi Mountain was blank, he relied on his own imagination to fill in the life of Shi Ying in those few years, imagining how he grew from a prince to a minor priest, which made the character of Shi Ying’s foundation deeper.

During the filming process, Xiao Zhan would also actively communicate with the director based on the logic of the characters. Because of Shi Ying’s “upright” image, Xiao Zhan rarely sat on the set. He would always stand against the wall or a tree trunk to make himself look more upright. But at the same time, after feeling Shi Ying’s inner softness more and more strongly, Xiao Zhan would take the initiative to discuss with the director whether he could break Shi Ying’s “upright” side in some scenes and show his slightly evil inner self, slightly prideful self, to make this character more vivid.

He once mentioned in an interview a scene in “The Longest Promise” before Shi Ying’s death: “In the original script, Shi Ying comforted Zhu Yan and told her not to be sad. I don’t think this is should be the state of someone truly in love with each other, the state of a someone who truly in love with each other should be: I want you to feel sad for me, when I am dying, I will be very happy when I can see you feeling sad for me from the bottom of your heart.” It can be seen that he had a deep understanding of the character’s inner emotional logic.

When performing, Xiao Zhan would also add his own observations and feelings about life to his interpretation of the character. Song Xiaofei, the director of “Sunshine By My Side”, once expressed that Xiao Zhan made many detailed considerations for the character. For example, at first, people would think that Sheng Yang had too few clothes, but Xiao Zhan believed that a designer who had just started working, with a monthly salary of several thousand yuan, it would be unrealistic if every time he went out like he was attending a fashion exhibition, changing his clothes constantly. “We need to bring him back to the real world and make him feel like a new person in the workplace, his clothes are also designed to be relatively simple.” In and out of the drama, on and off the stage, Xiao Zhan never regarded his characters as pure artistic images, in his eyes, they were all living people. With this understanding, he could be natural when performing and make the audience feel the sincerity in the performance.

03 Unchanging Original Intentions

In 2020, “Blogger World” had a conversation with Xiao Zhan, and when asked about his future career plans, he replied: “I still hope to deepen my career and try more diverse roles and dramas with different themes.” 3 years later, Xiao Zhan’s goals had not changed, but he had higher expectations for himself: “Besides hoping to be recognized by the audience, I also hope that my works and roles can bring more power to the audience.”

Xiao Zhan himself had drawn a lot of strength from the characters he has played, for example, he said: “Xiao Chunsheng is a very lively and infectious character, I am often moved by him. He perseveres and has always stuck to his the bottom line in heart, he will not be easily affected by the people around him or the surrounding environment, and he has the drive to face difficulties head on, and frequently say that ‘a difficult road is an uphill road’.”

This character was actually more extroverted than Xiao Zhan himself. “He is very responsible, always taking care of the friends around him as much as possible, and loves to help everyone solve their problems, his pure and innocent heart also affects me imperceptibly.”

Therefore, during the filming process, Xiao Zhan always maintained a high sense of faith to deeply understand the situations Xiao Chunsheng encountered at different stages, every stage had its slight differences, including military service, retirement, employment, and entrepreneurship. At the same time, relatives and friends around him would slowly come closer or become separated. When performing, Xiao Zhan would put himself into the situation and think about “with Chunsheng’s unyielding spirit, what he would think and do when faced with these situations.”

Sometimes he felt that he was the same as Xiao Chunsheng, whatever he wants, he would strive for it through hard work. As a result, the characters and actors actually formed some kind of interaction, influencing each other, and ultimately moving the audience.

When filming “The Longest Promise”, Xiao Zhan felt from Shi Ying’s life attitude that “man could conquer nature and everything depends on his actions”, and destiny was not fixed but could be shaped by oneself through hard work. “He will firmly do what he thinks is right, and in the end he will also succeded in dedicating everything he has to the righteousness and the country,” Xiao Zhan said.

When filming “Sunshine By My Side”, he felt the warmth and rich emotional world in Sheng Yang. In Sheng Yang, there were common workplace dilemmas faced by young people, there were some impulsions when handling with the relationship with his boss, but Xiao Zhan could feel that Sheng Yang must have a pair of parents who loved him very much, his family background might be ordinary, but the emotional condition must be filled.

Every character had a shining point, and as an actor, Xiao Zhan also wanted this light to illuminate more people.

In the past few years, Xiao Zhan had been busy at work and spent most of the year in the drama group. Every time after filming had completed, he would try his best to give himself a vacation and try to return to his daily life, sleeping, working out, and detaching himself from the character. But it would not take too long, “it’s enough to relax for a while, it also takes a while to welcome a new character. You need to read through and become familiar with the script, and sort out the relationships between the characters.” Xiao Zhan told “Blogger World”.

He is a person who listens to outside voices. When talking about the requirements he had for himself at work, Xiao Zhan said: “What I can do is to better fully understand and experience the character, and communicate more with directors, scriptwriters, and the collaborating senior actors, and at the same time, I will also listen to the audience’s well-intentioned and helpful suggestions on performances to improve my shortcomings.”

Xiao Zhan had never deliberately maintained a certain state or image at a certain stage. As an actor, he hoped to prevent the audience from having a fixed concept of his performance or characters. “It would be best if each work could bring a new image that brightens the audiences’ eyes, making everyone forget how Xiao Zhan was like originally,” he said.

“Be down-to-earth, interpret every role carefully, and do my job well.” Driven by this simple original intention, actor Xiao Zhan is walking steadily on his own path.

Conversation of the Year

“Blogger World”: In 2023, you have 3 dramas starring you aired, which have achieved very good results. If you sum up this year, what is your evaluation of yourself, or what do you want to say to yourself?

Xiao Zhan: Fulfilling and rewarding. I hope that I can continue to work hard and give back to the audience with more and better works in the future, and also deliver more positive energy through my own actions.

“Blogger World”: In the era emotional drama “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, you play the role of Xiao Chunsheng, a tenacious and upright young man who bravely pursues his dreams. What impact does this character’s character and story have on you? What did you gain from the process of creating this character?

Xiao Zhan: Xiao Chunsheng is a very lively and infectious character, I am often moved by him. He is tenacious and always sticks to the bottom line in his heart, and will not be easily affected by the people around him or the surrounding environment. At the same time, he has the drive to face difficulties. He often says, “A difficult road is an uphill road.”

This character is actually much more extroverted than I am. He also acts as the “leader” among his friends, he is very responsible and always tries his best to take care of the friends around him and help everyone solve problems, his pure and innocent heart also affects me imperceptibly.

“Blogger World”: As an era drama, involving decades of time changes, how do you grasp the characteristics of the characters at each stage? For you, what is the most important element in a person’s growth process, and what needs to be held on to?

Xiao Zhan: I think the first thing is to believe and allow me to put myself in Xiao Chunsheng’s shoes and experience the situations he encountered at different stages. Actually, there are subtle differences in the stages of military service, retirement, employment, entrepreneurship, etc., including the close ones and friends around him, who will also slowly get closer or become separated, so when performing, I need to think about the scenes before and after, and put them into the situation: with Chunsheng’s unyielding spirit, what he would think and do when faced with these situations.

I think for me, it means sticking to what I believe in and doing what I think is right.

“Blogger World”: This time you starred in the fantasy drama “The Longest Promise” and returned to the field of ancient dramas. Do you have any new feelings and surprises?

Xiao Zhan: The new feeling for me about the role of Shi Ying feels new to me is that he is a mortal human being, he had human emotions and desires, which are very vivid. At the same time, The surprising thing is that this character has a sense of contrast, he is restrained yet sharp, cold yet empathetic, his character traits are not singular, these gave me a better fulcrum to understand and interpret the character.

“Blogger World”: Shiying in the play is a lonely and cold person, but his destiny has experienced great twists and turns. What do you think the character’s attitude towards life is?

Xiao Zhan: Shi Ying’s attitude towards life is that man could conquer nature and everything depends on his actions. Therefore he will firmly do what he thinks is right, and in the end he will also succeded in dedicating everything he has to the righteousness and the country.

“Blogger World”: In the urban drama “Sunshine By My Side”, you play the role of designer Sheng Yang. The character has a sunny side of a young man, but at the same time he is very mature inside. Is this the image you want to maintain?

Xiao Zhan: As far as I am concerned, I do not deliberately maintain a certain state or image at a certain stage. In my understanding, Sheng Yang is a person who is wise but not worldly, he has the energy of a young man but is not childish at heart.

As an actor, I hope that everyone will not have a fixed concept of my performance or role. It is best that every work can bring a new image to the audience, making everyone forget who the original Xiao Zhan should look like. (Laughs)

“Blogger World”: Do you imagine what your life would be like now if you had not entered the entertainment industry?

Xiao Zhan: Actually, I have never thought about that, perhaps I might still be in the design industry, I would commute to and from work every day, and might have to work overtime frequently. Or open a bakery, paint when I have nothing to do, or go traveling with family and friends.

“Blogger World”: In recent years, you have participated in a variety of works and diverse characters. What method do you usually use to detach yourself from the emotions of the previous character and adapt to the next one?

Xiao Zhan: Maybe I will just give myself some time off, return to my daily life, sleep, exercise, and relax for a while, that’s about it. It also takes a while to welcome a new role, to read through and become familiar with the script, and to sort out the relationships between the characters.

“Blogger World”: Regarding the profession of actor, do you have any new insights now compared to when you first debuted? Is there any change in mentality?

Xiao Zhan: My idea was relatively simple then, I just wanted to act well and try different roles. My thoughts have not actually changed now, but I will have higher expectations on myself, besides hoping to be recognized by the audience, I also hope to bring some strength to everyone through my roles and works. I think this will be very meaningful and valuable.

“Blogger World”: What is your current ambition on the road of acting? What are the requirements for yourself reflected in your work?

Xiao Zhan: My goal has always been to hope that everyone can see my progress and changes through each work, and also hope that my performance can be affirmed and recognized by the audience.

What I can do is to better fully understand and experience the character, and communicate more with directors, scriptwriters, and the collaborating senior actors, and at the same time, I will also listen to the audience’s well-intentioned and helpful suggestions on performances to improve my shortcomings.

Goose yellow leather short-sleeved jacket Dark brown cotton and linen long-sleeved shirt Dark brown trousers Brown canvas and leather belt Brown leather loafers All TOD’S

Boucheron Quatre Classique series bracelet, extra large Boucheron Quatre Classique series diamond-encrusted ear clips, large, for decoration Boucheron Quatre Classique series diamond earrings, small, for decoration Boucheron Quatre Classique series diamond ring, large All BOUCHERON

Xiao Zhan held up a handheld fan to dry the slightly seeping sweat because of the filming. When the photographer signaled the start, he stepped forward, stepped back, walked forward again, and continued to retreat. The props on his back were like airplanes, his eyes were constantly searching for the camera, like a mischievous child exploring an unknown world. Every cycle back and forth, he was thinking about the more refined possibilities between advancement and retreat.

It’s hard not to notice Xiao Zhan’s sense of propriety. When being interviewed, he had a catchphrase: “Can I say this?” Or, as if to confirm himself, “I can say it like this, right?” He also reflects on himself constantly. For example, he would repeatedly remind himself not to let his performance become habitual. Once he would get used to it, it will develop into terrible inertia. For example, he would often emphasize that he did not like to be mysterious for the sake of it, he might not understand many truths, but he would share only his sincere daily feelings. Another example, when he heard a crew member commenting that he was always “striving for excellence”, he responded that he had not yet reached “excellence” and only wanted to “strive”.

Xiao Zhan spoke slowly and eloquently, he did not have a thunderous and fiery personality. He chatted calmly and had the demeanor of a benevolent gentleman. He was not tense at all as well. He chatted about varied topics and when he got to the point where he was enjoying himself, he naturally leaned back on the chair and gently held his right leg with both hands. The content of the chat ranged from the unchanging emotions contained in the classic songs of the times to artificial intelligence (AI), his views on human beings, as well as his own performances and life experiences.

In 2023, 3 television dramas starring Xiao Zhan broadcasted one after another. He played the colorful and vivid forefather, the lonely and cold crown prince, and the newcomer who struggled in the workplace. Every time he entered a drama group, he would dream, about real scenes and real pressure related to filming. After the dream was over, he would immerse himself into the heart of the character and perform it, leaving vivid memories and feelings.

There is a ruler in the heart and a measurement outside his body. Appropriateness is Xiao Zhan’s internal perspective, an accurate view towards work, life and he himself. Outside of the measurements is Xiao Zhan’s external perspective, the perceptive understanding of the past, time and space, and the world. Within the length of measurements, the heaven and earth appear naturally.

Within the Appropriateness: A truly lovable character will always have imperfections

3 television dramas have been aired and new dramas are being filmed. For actor Xiao Zhan, 2023 is a fruitful year.

Occasionally, when he looked back on his career as an actor, Xiao Zhan would be in a daze for a moment. In the blink of an eye, it seemed like he had been there for a long time. Almost every time when he filmed a drama, he always had a routine: dreaming. He dreamed about memorizing lines, dreamed about going through the scenes with the director, he would even dream about taking a math test, but could not solve any of the questions on the paper, then waking up with a start.

Dark brown cotton and linen long-sleeved shirt Navy blue cotton and linen long-sleeved shirt Dark brown trousers All TOD’S Jack de Boucheron gold and diamond long necklace, extra large Jack de Boucheron gold and diamond single-turn chain link Boucheron Quatre Classique series diamond ring, large All BOUCHERON

Xiao Zhan felt that this was caused by pressure, and he accepted it calmly. Perhaps there was another reason, deep down in his heart, he did not regard himself as an experienced actor, but always placed himself in the position of a newcomer, with an attitude of learning and exploration. Therefore, every time he would go to a drama group, he always had the experience of starting all over again.

Xiao Zhan was very wary of becoming habitual. Sometimes he would also advise himself not to give himself so much pressure, not to overthink, and to try to be more relaxed. But once he realized that he had started to rely on performance models, experiences and habits, he would again remind himself that taking things for granted would be dangerous. After a long period of habits, inertia would occur, and inertia would lead to “taking things for granted”. Therefore, every time he would interpret a role, he would always have to gain some freshness.

Boucheron Animaux series Wladimir necklace as brooch Boucheron Animaux series Wladimir ring All BOUCHERON Blazer with button tabs YOHJI YAMAMOTO HOMME FROM I.T Black shirt and black tie both XANDER ZHOU Black wide-leg trousers JIL SANDER Black Nude Boots JOHN LOBB

Xiao Chunsheng in “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories” was a character full of freshness. Because, there were extremely obvious differences between him and Xiao Zhan himself. Xiao Chunsheng was a youth in Beijing in the 1970s, which was completely different from era and environment in which Xiao Zhan grew up.

Military coats, 28″ wheels bicycles, the ice surface of Shichahai, and the transformation from a youth to a middle-aged entrepreneur, all of these were not familiar to Xiao Zhan. To this day, there were still “traces” of Xiao Chunsheng in Xiao Zhan: when it came to the character Chen Hongjun in the play, he would always say “Hong Jun’er”. Those Beijing accents, the “er” epenthesis, the “aiyoeh” and “whoa” exclamations that he practiced when filming started were all words on Xiao Zhan’s lips.

Off-white casual jacket Light beige shirt Dark brown trousers Light khaki canvas and leather belt Lace-up leather ankle boots All TOD’S

The language, objects and period were still alright, but for Xiao Zhan, the biggest difference from Xiao Chunsheng was his personality. He is an introvert who enjoys being alone, while Xiao Chunsheng was the complete opposite, he would make many friends and overly loved to socialize. Based on today’s standards, this extreme enthusiasm often meant a lack of a sense of boundaries. “The times are developing faster and faster. Today’s youths are living a fast-paced life and will not easily cross the boundaries of getting along.” Xiao Zhan commented, “But Xiao Chunsheng is an extremely meddlesome person, so it is easy to offend others.” When he read the script, he was quite intimidated by this role and felt that it would be difficult to act him as a likeable person. But after hesitating for a long time, a thought suddenly caught his attention: perhaps, the qualities we were hesitant about today contained exactly what we need.

Off-white casual jacket Light beige shirt Dark brown trousers Light khaki canvas and leather belt All are TOD’S

Fresh and vivid, this was Xiao Zhan’s summary of Xiao Chunsheng and his contemporaries. “Hate is hate. Like is like. Don’t you think each of their colors are particularly fresh and vivid?” he asked. Even now, when thinking back to some scenes in “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, he still felt that the characters were shining brightly, they were vivid and brilliant.

After playing Xiao Chunsheng, a person who was far away from current values, Xiao Zhan also gained something in terms of mentality: do not be afraid of making mistakes. He said: “A truly lovable character will always have imperfections.” During the filming, he once asked the director if it was particularly annoying for Xiao Chunsheng to worry so much about others. The director told him that it was precisely because of this “annoyance” that he was Xiao Chunsheng, and “annoyance” was his charm.

Boucheron Quatre Classique series bracelet, extra large Boucheron Quatre Classique series diamond-encrusted ear clips, large, for decoration Boucheron Quatre Classique series diamond earrings, small, for decoration All BOUCHERON Strap Detail Tank ANN DEMEULEMEESTER FROM FARFETCH Black leather overalls NANUSHKA

The director’s words suddenly enlightened Xiao Zhan, sometimes he would fall into a strange loop, hoping to avoid and correct the imperfections of the character. “When you change it like this, the character himself loses his charm.” Xiao Zhan said, “So I think I should not be afraid when doing homework for the character, if he is enthusiastic then he should be enthusiastic, if he crosses the boundary then he should. If I always have to consider the character’s shortcomings, thinking about what will happen if the audience scolds me, then it will be difficult to act.” Because, actors play characters, not personalities.

Beige Knitted Polo Shirt Dark Brown Knitted Polo Shirt Round neck T-shirt Dark brown trousers Light khaki canvas and leather belt Black lace up leather shoes All are TOD’S Boucheron Quatre Classique series bracelet, extra large BOUCHERON

Not being afraid of flaws, to some extent, also meant the courage and ability to seek truth. “Sunshine By My Side” was Xiao Zhan’s first appearance in an urban workplace drama. His reason for taking on this drama was simple: modern dramas are too close to reality and everyone is living it, therefore it is difficult to perform it such that everyone believes it. Because he was not sure and confident, he firmly believed that he would learn something after “gnawing” it down. Thus, the character Sheng Yang came into being.

“Sunshine By My Side” made Xiao Zhan realize that urban dramas relied heavily on the cooperation between actors. Because it was more life-like, every detail would not be set in stone, and the lines and performances would be slightly adjusted. “We are all living people, we do not exist to maintain a persona. What everyone does, says and expresses, the emotions are all natural, reasonable, and flowing. If you change, my performance will also change accordingly.” Xiao Zhan said, this kind of creative coupling eliminates the possibility of actors being rigid and mechanical, hence it is a fresh and fun experience.

Beige Knitted Polo Shirt Dark Brown Knitted Polo Shirt All are TOD’S Boucheron Quatre Classique series bracelet, extra large BOUCHERON

Sheng Yang was a designer, which happened to be the job that Xiao Zhan had done before. With personal experience, flexibility during performance could be guaranteed. “When Sheng Yang wanted to draw the design sketches, I would really draw them there. Sometimes I would tell them, art director, your layers seem to be locked and I can’t move them.” Xiao Zhan recalled, “Because it was my own life, so I was more skilled at it. Can I say that? Alright.” He never forgot his sense of appropriateness even when it came to his true feelings.

Xiao Zhan was no stranger to fantasy themed dramas. “The Longest Promise” was the most recent example. For him, acting in a drama with such an imaginary background requires a process of nothing to fruition. Facing a green screen, if he had to imagine extreme weather or breathtaking scenery, he needed to create it himself. As for whether his condition was realistic and whether the emotion was subtle enough, more often than not, he had to trust the evaluation made by the director behind the monitor.

Beige Knitted Polo Shirt Dark Brown Knitted Polo Shirt All are TOD’S Boucheron Quatre Classique series bracelet, extra large BOUCHERON

Whether it is a ancient costume drama or a contemporary drama, Xiao Zhan always had a clear understanding when facing the script and characters. “At any one time, there are only a few good things, which is why people always say that they could only be discovered and not sought.” He recalled his observations over the years, “Some scripts may be considered good by the industry, but the market feedback may not be so good. What is everyone’s definition of good? Is it good sales or good word-of-mouth? It’s hard to judge.” Therefore, what he could do now is to return to his own understanding and feelings and choose what he thought would be the best roles. As for what role he wanted to play the most, Xiao Zhan said: “I have been mentioning it for many years, an adorable and charming villain, if I get the chance.”

Outside of the Appropriateness: The emotions between people have never changed

When reading the script of “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, Xiao Zhan’s mind would be filled with photos of his parents when they were young.

Dad was riding a bicycle and mom was sitting in the back seat, wearing a red skirt and a white shirt. When passing a big rock, my father took a photo of my mother as a souvenir. She smiled brilliantly at the camera, looking like a bright girl. When it was his turn to play the role of his parents in their youth, he tried his best to restore the freshness and even rashness of youth, he did not want to deliberately portray the story in a rigid and stern direction just because it was a story about his parents’ generation.

Goose yellow leather short-sleeved jacket Dark brown cotton and linen long-sleeved shirt Dark brown trousers Brown canvas and leather belt Brown leather loafers All are TOD’S

Regarding time, Xiao Zhan seemed to have a special sense and understanding. He was sentimental and nostalgic. No matter whether he would be singing in variety shows or event, or listening to them in private, he always had a preference for old songs. They were memorable, rich in meaning, and gave him space to think.

When he was a child, he did not have much pocket money, so Xiao Zhan would either go to the video store to rent CDs, or exchange CDs and tapes with his classmates. He could still remember the prices clearly even now. To this day, he still had the CD player and Walkman he used back then in his home. Sometimes, he would return to wired headphones because they are convenient and easy to find. In the dead of night, he would occasionally think of the things that were gradually fading in the torrent of time. He was alone, with his heart flowing, this was his comfortable state.

Xiao Zhan said that he was a very homely person and when he had spare time at home, he would just work out or watch movies. He never regarded watching movies as a task, any genre, he would watch them all, regardless whether they were popular commercial movies or niche art films. Recently, he watched “Anatomy of a Fall”, which was the best film at the 2023 Cannes International Film Festival.

Around New Year, he would often revisit “Love Actually” and watch it again every two or three years. The reason was also very straightforward, the family, love, and friendship in the movie all conveyed truth, goodness and beauty, which warmed people’s hearts when watching them.

“Don’t you think that the emotions between people have never changed? Old movies will always be unearthed and watched, and old songs will always be repeatedly heard, because the emotions sung by truly classic works remain unchanged throughout the ages. Only sincerity can move people.” Xiao Zhan seemed to have a sudden inspiration and compared it with AI, “I think AI cannot replace humans. Maybe its technology can one day surpass the limits of humans, but that kind of complex emotions, humans far surpass computers. It can be said that humans are the most accurate, mysterious, and complex supercomputers.”

Jack de Boucheron white gold and diamond long necklace Boucheron Quatre Classique series diamond ring large model All BOUCHERON Black shirt XANDER ZHOU

Xiao Zhan would pay attention to AI, just like how he would pay attention to all new things in the world that are deeply related to people. He watched the news and read things written by AI, the depth of thought and logic of thinking made him feel incredible. Perhaps, in some job competitions, the threat of AI to human beings would already be close at hand, but he still firmly believed that AI could not replace face-to-face communication between people, whether it is immediacy or complexity.

When these distant concerns about new things were temporarily put aside, Xiao Zhan also had his own expectations for the world.

When filming “Ace Troops” a few years ago, in order to portray the image of a soldier who was concerned with the nation, Xiao Zhan observed and trained in the army for more than a week. He got up at five or six in the morning every day and ate and lived with the soldiers. After performing this drama, he felt deeply about the cruelty of war and understood the hard-won peace. “I cherish my current life more, this is the truth.” Xiao Zhan said. Therefore, the current vision for world peace, might also be related to countless people in infinite distances away.

Boucheron Jack de Boucheron series white gold diamond long necklace as bracelet BOUCHERON Denim short-sleeved shirt OUR LEGACY FROM XC273 Purple shirt, purple casual trousers both JIL SANDER Irregular pattern silk scarf ACNE STUDIOS Transparent resin airplane decorative belt MUGLER FROM TERMINAL69 Brown buckle boots DSQUARED 2

Regarding his own expectations, Xiao Zhan outlined it more simply: “I have done very well in 2023, I hope I can maintain it.” After thinking for a while, he added: “In 2024, I hope to love myself more, care more about my own feelings and thoughts. This sentence is not only for myself, but also for everyone.”

Boucheron Jack de Boucheron series white gold diamond long necklace as bracelet BOUCHERON Denim short-sleeved shirt OUR LEGACY FROM XC273 Purple shirt, purple casual trousers both JIL SANDER Irregular pattern silk scarf ACNE STUDIOS Transparent resin airplane decorative belt MUGLER FROM TERMINAL69 Brown buckle boots DSQUARED 2

In Xiao Zhan’s heart, his person on screen is different from his person in real life. In private, he will not polish himself too much, nor will he dress too glamorously, he just wants to be natural and true to himself.

“Just like the current chat, similar to this comfortable state, just keep to it. I won’t change my face and portray another person.” Xiao Zhan said, “It’s too tiring. Too tiring.” He repeated twice.

A poet wrote, “My heart is slightly larger than the entire universe.” Outside Xiao Zhan’s appropriateness, there is the restraint of “simplicity” and the vastness of “universe”.

Xiao Zhan receives a lot of scripts and roles, and some of the people around him gives him suggestions to act in dramas that everyone seems to like, like those which has more dramatic conflicts, or the characters are a little more exaggerated, or the proportion of his section is very important, instead of unilaterally looking from his own tastes. But Xiao Zhan’s own criteria for viewing scripts and characters are not complicated. The first answer is to “impress him”, or to say it more tangibly, when he read the first draft of the script of “Sunshine By My Side”, and he saw how Sheng Yang was described in the script, he smiled subconsciously. When he saw some plots between Meijuan and Papa Sheng, he would subconsciously feel sad, resonate and nod.

“I am the one who has to interpret this character. If I don’t have the confidence to interpret him, or even the desire to do so, how can I have the confidence to bring him to the audience? At least that’s how I am currently.”

Xiao Zhan as Sheng Yang

In essence, Xiao Zhan believed that he and Sheng Yang had the same base color. “Just like the name of our drama, Sheng Yang is a little sun. He has an energy that can turn all bad things into something very good, I think he will always be bright.” Of course, there is also the coincidence that Xiao Zhan and Sheng Yang are also previously from the same industry. But there was a big difference in personality, in Xiao Zhan’s eyes, “This kid is too lively. It doesn’t matter if he encounters difficulties, he will just cheer himself up and continue to move forward bravely.” But Xiao Zhan himself is very different in life, he prefers to be alone and quieter most of the time.

Screenwriter Li Xiao revealed that he met Xiao Zhan during the creation of this character, so he added a lot of Xiao Zhan’s own characteristics to the character of Sheng Yang. Xiao Zhan recalled that when he met Li Xiao for the second time half a year before filming started, and they had a more in-depth communication, “I remember that time she told me that she felt like I was different from before.” What was the difference? Xiao Zhan himself couldn’t answer, “More than two years have passed, people will always grow.”

In addition to his coincidental fate with Sheng Yang, the important reason why Xiao Zhan likes “Sunshine By My Side” was because of the natural style of this drama. Sheng Yang was a young man who dreamed of becoming a designer after graduating from university, who had an ordinary family that was noisy at times but mostly warm, and he met a senior director whom he remembered from 10 years ago again by chance, their paths cross after coincidences. The story did not have the plot of an idol drama., there was work, life, friends and his lady all in his life. “It’s not like the plots I’ve seen before, it’s more natural.”

This seemingly natural script was what Xiao Zhan liked and found challenging. He wanted to make Sheng Yang a living person, not just a character played by Xiao Zhan.

“This was a story that flows like water, it did not have any particularly dramatic conflicts or plots, everything was very natural, just like a story that would happen around you. Acting in this drama was a big challenge for me because I had never filmed such an urban drama, how could I make everyone believe that Sheng Yang is such a person, that he really existed, and was not something Xiao Zhan worked hard to play.”

The story felt natural and the characters were relaxed. Relaxation and calmness wan acting is what Xiao Zhan gained after portraying Sheng Yang, and due to a coincidence of career, Sheng Yang might be the life Xiao Zhan would have experienced if he was not an actor. Did experiencing a life from a “parallel universe” make actor Xiao Zhan relax?

“Yes, but not much. Because the problems Xiao Zhan and Sheng Yang face are still different.”

Photograph from “Sunshine By My Side”

Conversation

There is not much Midas Touch in life, everything requires our own efforts.

The Paper: I also spoke with the screenwriter two days ago, who said that she met you before the script was fully completed, and this had an impact on the creation of the character Sheng Yang. How was the contact with the screenwriting teacher like at that time?

Xiao Zhan: The first time Ms. Xiao and I met was in 2019. Half a year before filming started, we had an in-depth chat and she said that I felt different from before. I said that more than two years have passed and people will always grow. That was the first time that the screenwriter and I established an understanding of each other. Later on, we held three more script meetings to make adjustments to the character of Sheng Yang.

There were two points I raised initially. One was why Sheng Yang was obsessed with this lady for 10 years? Another point was that although Sheng Yang is a younger man, how he could show responsibility and growth in a relationship to convince the audience.

The Paper: How compatible was the finalized Sheng Yang with you?

Xiao Zhan: We are both positive and optimistic, but we have quite different personalities. For example, Sheng Yang can’t help but go physical against his boss. Maybe for Xiao Zhan, I won’t do such impulsive things. I will think of solutions when signs of workplace bullying appears, instead of delaying the matter to the point of being unbearable.

Photograph from “Sunshine By My Side”

The Paper: Then how do you understand Sheng Yang’s tolerance in the beginning, where his superior took credit for his work and had a bad attitude toward him. He never thought of a solution and was just enduring.

Xiao Zhan: I can understand Sheng Yang’s situation at that time. Firstly, he needed this job; secondly, this was life, there would be pressure and difficulties, it might make him feel very tired, but he still had to go to work properly the next day. Because he needed this job, his family conditions did not allow him to do something very outrageous and impulsive, this also caused him to develop a very gentle character.

So I understand Sheng Yang. As for why he suddenly went physical and had an emotional outburst later, it was because (the team leader) had breached the bottom line of his tolerance.

But there is growth in Sheng Yang. In the beginning, he was a diligent and hard-working young man with a relatively tolerant personality. Later, he experienced some things in the workplace and in life, and at the same time, he also met his lady, who encouraged him to be himself, and to face and resist bravely, so Sheng Yang made some adjustments. But even in the ending, we didn’t portray Sheng Yang as someone very successful, someone who had completed a very big project, or someone famous. We still wanted Sheng Yang to be closer to life. After all, there are not so much Midas Touch in life. Everything is hard-earned and requires your own efforts.

The Paper: How do you understand some of the struggles between Sheng Yang and the team leader? If it were you, what kind of mentality would you have when faced with this unfair situation?

Xiao Zhan: I might solve the problem as soon as it occurs. I would look for opportunities to have a tactful chat with my boss. For example, I would feedback to my boss on the current resistance I was encountering from a project perspective. But to be honest, I had never encountered workplace bullying, so I am quite lucky, the seniors and colleagues I had met took good care of me.

Photograph from “Sunshine By My Side”

Acting, sometimes you have to “perform subtraction”.

The Paper: What is the difficulty of Sheng Yang for you?

Xiao Zhan: Actually, in a few scenes, I thought Sheng Yang was a little childish. Would he be accepted by the audience? Would everyone like him? And how to determine the measure of this? How to act naturally? These were the questions I had to face.

In fact, I talked a lot with the director on set. I would sit next to the director and watch him film, or talk about how to perform a certain scene, and the director would also give me a lot of advice. The director inspired me to do subtraction: don’t plan too many things, don’t think about having to act in a lively state, remember your motives, and then do subtraction.

The Paper: I remember that the scene where Sheng Yang resigned was actually quite simple, but some viewers were very sympathetic. Sheng Yang also had red circles in his eyes at the end. Was this a subtraction?

Xiao Zhan: Yes. In fact, we thought about whether we should say something to everyone after Sheng Yang resigned, but later I felt that there was no need to say it. First of all, the incident did happen, so it was useless to say more. Secondly, you had used your resignation to protect the interests of other members of the group, so there was no need to say too much at the moment.

We need to understand the character’s emotions based on his current situation. First of all, his family situation was not very good and he needed this job; secondly, how would he explain to his parents when he returned home? This was a profession that he loved very much and it was more than just a job to make ends meet. And he had already became the chief designer, which was a very rare opportunity. So Sheng Yang felt more sad at the moment. I was also very sad when I was acting, because everything was obviously going in a good direction and he had worked hard, but instead he received this result. In the setting in the script, it was a very famous advertising company. When we were studying design, we would also make a career plan for ourselves, so he must have been very sad to leave this company.

Photograph from “Sunshine By My Side”

The Paper: When thinking about the character, did you do any plan for Sheng Yang that might be outside of the script to make it more consistent with the character?

Xiao Zhan: Regarding the design-related content, I could refer to my previous work experience. The main thing was how to interpret it naturally and not to do too much planning. I had worked in the design industry, so I knew how the condition was like to work. In addition, before filming started, I also sorted out Sheng Yang’s growing environment, as well as his way of getting along with colleagues and superiors at work, and with his parents at home.

The Paper: What do you think of the emotional line with his parents?

Xiao Zhan: I think Sheng Yang would be confused when his parents quarreled. In fact, my parents also quarrel and sometimes I cannot understand too, just over little matters when they obviously care about each other, why do they have to hurt each other in this way? I also had the same questions like Sheng Yang in the drama. But Sheng Yang did not flee and avoid. If he had chosen to flee and avoid, he would not have grown into such a character. In fact, it could be seen from Sheng Yang’s character that his family was a very loving family.

Photograph from “Sunshine By My Side”

Understanding each other, testing each other, moving closer to each other step by step.

The Paper: In Sheng Yang’s eyes, what kind of person was Jian Bing?

Xiao Zhan: She was very independent and sober, like a breath of fresh air, her insistence on design impressed Shengyang the most, and her own high-end aesthetics.

The Paper: When Sheng Yang complained about work to Jian Bing, Jian Bing said to quit, and Sheng Yang fell silent. At this time, he was not brave. Do you agree more with Jian Bing’s statement, or do you agree with Sheng Yang’s hesitation and silence?

Xiao Zhan: I can particularly understand Sheng Yang. After all, work is not something you simply quit. Firstly, Sheng Yang is the team leader of the advertising department of a design company, and he had three projects on hand and needed to deal with three clients. If he was to suddenly quit, he would have no sense of responsibility and have a lack of professional ethics. Because the customer chose you, you would be responsible for the customer. Even in real life, I can’t do this, at least there has to be a transition period. But from Jian Bing’s perspective, she felt that it wasn’t like Sheng Yang couldn’t find a new job. Since the leader didn’t approve of him, he should quit. This was a difference between them. The younger man and older lady were in different social statuses and had different working environments, which would lead to a conflict of ideas. This was also a very real point in “Sunshine By My Side”. Both of them came together step by step by understanding and testing each other.

Photograph from “Sunshine By My Side”

The Paper: When was the moment when you felt you most resonated with Sheng Yang’s soul?

Xiao Zhan: I had always been, he resonated with me from the first scene when he went to work. But the most resonant moment might be the scene when Sheng Yang was unemployed and went home to eat dinner with his parents. His mother says what’s wrong, why did he look so tired today? In fact, they don’t know that Sheng Yang was already unemployed, but Sheng Yang didn’t tell them the real reason. I was very sad when I was filming this scene, I couldn’t help but cry while eating, but according to the plot, crying would be weird, so the director didn’t use the scene where I cried in the end. In fact, many working youths are like this. They can be strong or tolerant on the exterior, they report good news but not bad news to their families, I am the same way too. But there may be a moment facing a greeting from your loved ones, especially your parents, and you can’t help but breakdown. So I am very empathetic.

The Paper: Doesn’t his character bring out the liveliness that you don’t have?

Xiao Zhan: It’s possible, so I am very envious of him, he’s a kind of longing.

The Paper: Which scene or line in this drama do you like best?

Xiao Zhan: Independent of each other, no second guessing or suspicion.

The Paper: You have acted in a lot of dramas so far. Where do you think your greatest growth is reflected?

Xiao Zhan: I feel more relaxed and calm. This was also the biggest feeling after filming “Sunshine By My Side”. It might also be because of the subject matter, which required you to be natural and relaxed.

The Paper: As an actor, where do you think your desire for acting starts?

Xiao Zhan: When you see a good script, you have the confidence and motivation to perform it well. It is also a desire to conquer this character that I like. In fact, when filming, I just enjoy the current moment, whether it is sad or happy, just remember it.

Photograph from “Sunshine By My Side”

The Paper: When is your happiest moment as an actor?

Xiao Zhan: The director and I basically sent messages after work every day, sometimes it was to summarize the details from today’s scene that hadn’t been achieved yet, and sometimes it’s to discuss how the next day’s scenes would be filmed and whether there were any ideas. The director always sent me 60-seconds voice messages, and every time he was especially happy and excited to discuss what he was going to film tomorrow. I liked this atmosphere very much. Everyone was giving and creating, and they did it with love. This was what I liked and what I wanted.

The Paper: To be honest, especially you, many youths like you as a young actor, and the roles handed to you were relatively upright, righteous and have no shortcomings, but this seems not three-dimensional and sufficiently enjoyable. What do you think of this situation?

Xiao Zhan: I think this is a matter of career functionality of actors at different stages. There will indeed be some complex characters that are fascinating and challenging. As I grow older, experience more, and my personality attributes become more and more multifaceted, I can try them. But in fact, every character has its own shortcomings and flaws.

For example, Sheng Yang was actually a bit noisy. How do you deal with it in order to turn his shortcomings into endearing points and become the characteristics of the character. There was also Sheng Yang’s stubbornness and lack of vision. These were his shortcomings, but it was also this energy that makes him move forward bravely, so this was also what makes him endearing.

The Paper: Are you the kind of person who needs to work all the time, or do you prefer a relaxed pace?

Xiao Zhan: I should be like many people. I want to take a break when I am working all the time. When I take a break, I will say no, I have to work and I have to produce.

The Paper: Since it was filmed in Chongqing, did you bring your colleagues from the crew to introduce the local delicacies?

Xiao Zhan: I did send some to my colleagues, but they were all rejected in the end. Everyone would say we don’t eat this anymore. It turned out that I had not returned to Chongqing for several years and was already outdated.

The Paper: Do you feel a sense of loss that you are no longer familiar with your hometown?

Xiao Zhan: Don’t feel the loss, the classic ones are the best.

At the end of 2019, Xiao Zhan had just celebrated his 28th birthday. He had received the script of “Sunshine By My Side” and met the 26-year-old Sheng Yang in the script.

Around the same age and having similar work experiences, there seemed to be some wonderful connection between Sheng Yang and Xiao Zhan. Coupled with the lively and lovable characters in the script, it seemed to be an obvious choice to take on the drama “Sunshine By My Side”.

In Xiao Zhan’s work resume, he had portrayed the roles of a lonely and cold prince, a young man with infinite passion and sincerity, a soldier who strove to breakthrough himself, a doctor who was cold on the surface but passionate inside, etc. These roles had given Xiao Zhan different life experiences, but he still seemed to be missing a slice of life work – after Sheng Yang met the audience, this role filled the gap.

The script of “Sunshine By My Side” took more than three years to create, and during these three years, Xiao Zhan had also experienced some of his own growth, and this gave him some doubts about his previously firm choice of Sheng Yang, “I’m already 31 years old, how can I play the role of a younger man who is new and has no experience in the society? Can I convince the audience?” In his heart, Xiao Zhan asked himself repeatedly.

All of these questions, Xiao Zhan told screenwriter Li Xiao.

01

The original Sheng Yang was lively and innocent, his body was filled with endless energy. In Li Xiao’s words, “He was a sunny and light character.” This was also Xiao Zhan’s initial feelings about Sheng Yang, but soon, such a character experienced a round of challenges.

After writing more than 20 episodes of the script, Li Xiao’s emotional life had changed, and she had a deeper understanding of the love story between this younger man and older lady. “The younger man who really wants to properly fall in love must have a very mature temperament and thoughts.” Li Xiao said.

The 26-year-old Sheng Yang actually already had several years of work experience, should he still be a naive big boy? Is it possible that for him to admire Jian Bing for 10 years because of an advertisement 10 years ago, and should Sheng Yang be a completely straightforward and passionate character? Could he fall in love with the older lady Jian Bing just based on pure love?

These questions seemed to have different answers in Li Xiao’s mind, and it was also at this time, Xiao Zhan met Li Xiao for the first time at the script planning meeting.

Xiao Zhan’s doubts and Li Xiao’s thoughts collided at the same time, “Sister Li Xiao and I have met each other too late.” In Xiao Zhan’s eyes, Li Xiao is a person who is very serious about work, both of their thoughts about Sheng Yang hit it off right away at the first script meeting.

The “image of a fledgling, inexperienced younger man”, which Xiao Zhan was worried that he might not be able to interpret well, was almost overthrown by Li Xiao, and he was transformed into a more resolute character, a bit obstinate, and a more serious Sheng Yang. He was no longer a novice in the workplace, but a character with strong personal abilities, inner aspirations, and some sense of maturity.

When encountering difficulties, Sheng Yang was responsible; he also had his own persistence when Jian Bing offered her assistance after losing his job; his choice to start a business was not a decision of a youthful impulse and a hotheadedness, “We want the audience to believe that everything Sheng Yang has gone through, believe in the decisions he made,” Xiao Zhan said.

Xiao Zhan participated in such script meetings three times in total. The communication with Li Xiao also extended from the script itself to the two persons’ tastes in art. “We would talk about some of the works we have watched recently, and she would recommend many interesting movies, drama series, and even radio and audio books, and I saw a lot of good works that I had never seen before.”

It was in this atmosphere that Sheng Yang’s image becomes more and more rounded — in Xiao Zhan’s heart, Sheng Yang was no longer just a cold description of words, but there was an outline of a complete character portrait, all of the motivations behind Sheng Yang’s choices became clear. Only after oneself is convinced then the audience have the possibility to believe, Sheng Yang’s changes finally gave Xiao Zhan the confidence to perform.

“The Sheng Yang now has a clear growth path, and the family atmosphere is also clearer, his sense of responsibility presented, as well as his ability to withstand stress, have all improved. His relationship with Jian Bing has also became more grounded and more believable.” In the three years of script creation, Sheng Yang, like Xiao Zhan, had grown up.

02

“Sunshine By My Side” chose its filming location in Chongqing, a city where Xiao Zhan had lived before and could give him a sense of security. It might have been easier to find the “sense of life” desired in the drama in such a city.

Even so, Xiao Zhan was still a little nervous before joining the drama, “What I’m particularly worried about is actually that I want to interpret the character of Sheng Yang in a very life-like and natural way, if I can make everyone feel that Xiao Zhan is not acting, and he is Sheng Yang, then it will be successful.”

How to interpret a life-like character was a lesson that Xiao Zhan must complete.

Director Song Xiaofei once took Xiao Zhan to Sheng Yang’s home, and after entering Sheng Yang’s room, Xiao Zhan first stopped and looked around to familiarize himself with the environment, then he went to tidy up the quilts and pillows he was going to sleep on. He sat on the sofa again, then got up, came beside the desk, and adjusted all the ornaments on the desk to where he could easily reach them.

“I particularly like the Sheng Yang’s home. The art directors in “Sunshine By My Side” were very good. They made the Sheng Yang’s home very life-like. So when I walked in, I didn’t feel like I was acting at all. Instead, it felt like I had already lived here for a very long time.”

In Sheng Yang’s room, Xiao Zhan seemed to see the house where he lived in as a child. Whether it was the living atmosphere or the environment, everything was too similar.

With such an atmosphere, Xiao Zhan wants to do even better in showing the character of Sheng Yang. Therefore, he is always a little nervous, “I had never acted in such a life-oriented drama, and I was a little uneasy.” From the first day of filming, Xiao Zhan would send the director a message every day.

“Director, do you feel there are any adjustments today?”

“Director, do you think this segment is alright?”

“How do you feel?”

“How about the scene tomorrow?”

Xiao Zhan liked the feeling of being Sheng Yang on the set of “Sunshine By My Side”. He communicated, discussed, and created with the director every day. For Xiao Zhan, this was a way to for him to progress.

On the first day after joining the drama, Xiao Zhan’s first scene was the scene where Sheng Yang met Jian Bing in a restaurant 10 years later. Song Xiaofei deliberately put this important scene on the first day of filming in order to retain that feeling where Xiao Zhan and Bai Baihe just knew each other, and this was also the condition the characters needed.

Recalling the first day of filming, Xiao Zhan thought it was “quite fun”, and on the second day, when filming the scene where Jian Bing was drunk and Sheng Yang took care of her in the hotel, Bai Baihe’s acting skills touched him.

“The plot of that part was that Jian Bing asked for a song and Sheng Yang asked what the title of the song was, then Jian Bing looked at Sheng Yang and said, ‘I really love you’. I had a very deep impression of the look in Bai Baihe’s gaze when she raised her head, it was very stunning to me at that time, I saw the light in her eyes and her whole state directly and closely, and I really learned a lot.”

The excellent performance of the partnering actress also inspired Xiao Zhan’s energy. In the subsequent scenes where Sheng Yang muttered to himself, Xiao Zhan’s performance was more refined than when he was rehearsing.

Director Song Xiaofei was always good at capturing the impromptu reactions of actors under the camera, and that reaction was the most real and the most touching to the audience. Xiao Zhan said: “In the drama ‘Sunshine By My Side’, I just do subtractions, don’t think too much about the plan or anything else, it’s enough to just immerse yourself in the character.”

03

Sheng Yang’s lines were life-like, but they also conveyed viewpoints. To be able to express those views without preaching was a test of the screenwriter’s creative ability, and it was also a test of the actor’s lines performance.

Director Song Xiaofei didnot ask the actors to say their lines exactly according to the script, which made them seem a bit rigid. Most of them did not deviate from the original settings of the script, and the actors could handle it as they felt comfortable. “There were still some differences from the costume dramas I have filmed previously. For costume dramas, there was its own way of segmenting lines and saying words within.” Xiao Zhan said.

In addition to family, love and other story lines, Sheng Yang’s work scenes were also very important. When walking into Shengyang’s office, Xiao Zhan, who had also been a designer, even felt like he time traveled. “Those workstations, drawing pads, pens, and even the office and design software in the computer were all too familiar.” Sitting at Sheng Yang’s workstation, Xiao Zhan would feel relaxed.

“Although these software were not used frequently now, and my skills have degraded a little, it was still possible to photoshop some pictures and edit some short clips when filming.” While waiting for the scene on the set, Xiao Zhan would occasionally make randomly sketch on the draft paper, this sense of atmosphere created an inexplicable connection between him and the character Sheng Yang.

In “Sunshine By My Side”, there was a scene that moved the audience and they exclaimed it as the reality: Sheng Yang had lost his job due to a certain project accident, but he did not complain to his parents. Instead, he behaved as usual every day and went out to find a job on time, going home on time to accompany his parents.

Xiao Zhan fully understood Sheng Yang, who only reported good news but not bad news, because the way he got along with his family was similar to Sheng Yang. Xiao Zhan liked the family of three’s noisy but harmonious way of getting along with one another in the drama, “The parents would bicker and have arguments, but they loved each other very much, were very happy, and were very wonderful.” During the filming of “Sunshine By My Side”, Xiao Zhan’s parents visited him twice and to Xiao Zhan, this is also a kind of happiness.

The audience said that “Sheng Yang is Xiao Zhan in the parallel world.” Sheng Yang, a Chongqing native and designer, has a high degree of similarity with Xiao Zhan. Xiao Zhan himself also felt that “in the process of portraying Sheng Yang, I would subconsciously immerse myself.” For example, Sheng Yang and Xiao Zhan would scratch their heads when they were shy.

“But I’m also afraid that everyone will feel this way.” Xiao Zhan said, “I’m afraid that the audience will project their feelings and emotions towards Xiao Zhan onto this character. Although Sheng Yang and I had the same profession, our personalities are still quite different, Xiao Zhan may be quieter and more stable, whereas Sheng Yang is more outgoing.”

There would definitely be some connection between the character and the actor himself, the real reactions given during the filming might have merged Xiao Zhan’s own temperament in some of Sheng Yang’s scenes, but this did not mean that Sheng Yang is Xiao Zhan.

If the audience felt that Sheng Yang seemed to be truly living in a certain time and space, it might also mean that Xiao Zhan’s interpretation of this character had achieved a realized effect . The “sense of life” he wants to show had been acknowledged by the audiences.

Broadcasting three television drama series in one year is a very rare achievement for an actor and Xiao Zhan also that knows clearly, “The value of an actor lies in using his works to speak, and having a very real feedback connection with the audience.” In the future, television drama series will still be Xiao Zhan’s main development direction, so what will be his next work?

The interview with Xiao Zhan was late at night. On this day, he was busy with the training camp for the new movie during the day and also participated in the promotion of his new drama at night, the recording was only done almost around 12 o’clock. In the lounge that was temporarily converted into an interview room, there were two sets of clothes he was wearing today hanging, two pairs of white sneakers on the ground, a rack for machines, and once the lights were turned on, there was almost no more room to move around.

After recording the show, Xiao Zhan changed his clothes and tidied his hair as quickly as possible, and again walked into the lounge as quickly as possible. When he came to the door, he paused and slowed down his steps as he walked in. He said hello calmly and sat down quietly. Surrounded by the silhouettes of the busy staff, who were adjusting the lights and confirming the sound reception, he held the interview outline and read carefully, as if a spotlight was being cast on his head, separating him from the hustle and bustle of the outside world, leaving only immersion and thought.

Holding paper materials in his hands seemed to be Xiao Zhan’s habit. Yang Xu, the performance director who had cooperated with him many times, once described him as “always holding the script at any one time”. On the one hand, this came from his anxiety about the role, and on the other hand, it also came from his respect and awe for the role. As an actor with a non-professional background, Xiao Zhan had always maintained a cautious attitude towards acting.

This kind of attitude still ran deep in him, and had helped him realize some changes from quantity to quality. In the past 3 years, Xiao Zhan had participated in the theater play “A Dream Like a Dream” continuously, with tens of thousands of lines in each showing; every year, he had a stable output of television dramas, from ancient period to modern times, from fantasy to realism; when the TV series “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin” was broadcasted in June, the audience saw a more mature actor Xiao Zhan.

In this drama, he wore a military overcoat, spoke Beijing dialect, rode a 28″ bicycle, starting from the small Shichahai, interpreting a lifetime of struggle spanning 30 years, outlining the endless fighting youth of that generation. Xiao Zhan used the word “nostalgia” to describe the “dream” — to Xiao Chunsheng, who Xiao Zhan portrayed, his dream was born and raised in the city of Beijing, and it was also his original intention and persistence that had never been compromised.

Becoming Xiao Chunsheng was also the same dream. In the dream, Xiao Zhan saw the characters and the times; he also saw himself and the present.

Stick to what you think is right

When Xiao Zhan first received the script of “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin”, he was attracted by Xiao Chunsheng’s full storyline of growth. “He went through a lot in his life, there were many turning points and challenges, but he always chose to face the difficulties.”

​As a TV series about the struggle and growth of youths in Beijing in the 1970s, “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin” had the unique idealism and romantic colors of that era. Chief planner Ye Jing and director Fu Ning were also masters in telling Beijing stories. The story began on the eve of the resumption of the college entrance examination, where 6 youths met at the Shichahai ice skating rink: the smart and unrestrained Xiao Chunsheng, the gentle and quiet Tong Xiaomei, the generous and righteous Ye Guohua, the proud and vivid He Hongling, the sober and rational Ye Fang, and the studious and meek Chen Hongjun. They each had their own ideals, but also had their own constraints in life. With this ice rink as the starting point, they embarked on completely different and intertwined life trajectories.

In the next 30 years, Xiao Chunsheng and his friends experienced the ups and downs of life, and also struggled and grew up in the clarion call of reform and opening up of the country. Family, friendship, love, challenges, opportunities, success and failure, these were the key words that constituted the portrayal of the ordinary people in extraordinary times.

Stills of the TV series “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin”.

Xiao Chunsheng, played by Xiao Zhan, was the most “pivotal” of them: in the early stage, he was the big brother of the group, with ideas, courage, thoughts, and the chivalry of a youth; in the middle stage, he was eager to make contributions in the army but he returned to his hometown lonely after injury, and then he stood up again under the support of his tenacious beliefs; in the end, he walked out of Shichahai, experienced ups and downs in the business world, but still embraced his original intentions and realized another type of value for his life.

“I think the most similar thing between me and Xiao Chunsheng is that I can always stick to what I think is right. In the drama, Xiao Chunsheng had made many choices as the society changed, but what he really insisted on in his heart did not changed, this included his friends, family, and the career he cared about, he was someone who was more obstinated.” Xiao Zhan told interviewer.

This role was simple, and it was full of vigor from beginning to end; but this role was also complicated, and the roller coaster styled situations required the actor to portray completely different mental outlooks.

The scene had the deepest impression on Xiao Zhan was the scene where Xiao Chunsheng returned to Beijing after being injured. “That scene required the actor to be immersed in sad emotions, and yet at the same time to create some different layers in this emotion, the difficulty was to display this change and progression.”

His legs were injured, his father passed away, and his lover left him, Xiao Chunsheng took the triple blows and boarded the train bound for Beijing. To Xiao Zhan, Xiao Chunsheng was feeling very uneasy at that time, “He was such a proud and stubborn person, and yet he was actually carried onto the car in a wheelchair, so I thought, if it was me, what would I do?” Xiao Zhan saw a pole next to the train door, so he supported himself using the pole and got on the train. “I think this was something Xiao Chunsheng would do, because the stubbornness in his bones would be: others can trouble me, and I can do things for my brothers and those who care about me, but if I need to trouble others, this will be the end of me.” Xiao Zhan said.

After getting off the train, Xiao Chunsheng saw his sister, and the two siblings hugged each other with tears in their eyes, this scene touched many audiences. In fact, this scene was just a simple movement of positions, when the filming officially started, the emotions were already in place, and the two actors naturally released all the grievances, heartache, and unwillingness — real emotions cannot be rehearsed.

To achieve this sense of presence, firstly it would require the actor to be 100% familiar with the script, and secondly it would require the actor to be fully one with the role. “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin” filmed out of sequence, and scenes before and after might not always be in sequence, so it takes time and effort to sort out the sequence and performance of each scene, and do enough homework on the script.

In Xiao Zhan’s view, this is a challenge, and even more so it is the only way to become an actor.

Stills of the TV series “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin”.

Actors speak with their works

Xiao Zhan is a “post-90s” actor, and “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin” told the story of his parents’ generation. Speaking about the influence of his parents had on him, Xiao Zhan told the interviewer: “I have inherited that strength of theirs. Most Chongqing people have this very strong and tenacious energy.”

This strength penetrated throughout his acting career so far. Two and a half years ago, he was filming the TV series “Ace Troops”, and he entered the group early to participate in military training life. He went out to exercise at 5:30am every morning and practiced running under the scorching sun. Liu Yan, the director of that drama, had 3 simple and accurate words to describe him: “can endure hardship.”

Liu Yan’s other evaluation of Xiao Zhan was also 3 words, “can think”. For each character, Xiao Zhan always tried his best to explore, so as to find the support point of the performance. When discussing performance tips with the interviewer, Xiao Zhan said: “I like to do some preparation work outside of the script more, such as this character, what was his environment like growing up, what kind of people and incidents would have the biggest impact on him, perhaps such things are outside of the script, you need to dig them out yourself.”

Each character already already have a small biography of its own before filming started. “Writing him through my own understanding will help in the interpretation of this character.” This was Xiao Zhan’s tip.

“What kind of person would you hope people will say about Xiao Zhan when they mention Xiao Zhan in the future?” The interviewer asked him.

“His recent drama was good.” He replied with a smile.

This is his ambition, to be an actor based on acting. In recent years, Xiao Zhan had increasingly sensed the bonds between acting and actors. Often when he returned to the hotel after filming, when he recalled this day’s filming, he would always feel a sense of satisfaction, “I’d be very happy, and I’d feel that sigh, in fact, this scene was really okay, and all the hard work was worth it”; There would also be reflections, “or feel that my state in this scene was not very good, and it would be better if it did it again.”

“As an actor with a non-professional background, coupled with so much attention, the audience will inevitably look at you and evaluate you with more critical eyes. What do you think of these comments?”

“Just treat it with a normal mindset, just like a line in “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin”, ‘a difficult road is an uphill road’. Those that are right, I will absorb it myself, and then correct it next time. For me In other words, actors speak through their works, so everything is in service of the works.”

Stills of the TV series “The Oath of Love”.

Three years ago, at an event commemorating the 110th anniversary of Mr. Cao Yu’s birth, Xiao Zhan had a conversation with Cao Yu’s daughter Wan Fang. Xiao Zhan asked Wan Fang a question: “Is sincerity the most important thing in creation?”

Wan Fang replied with a line from her work “Winter Journey”: “There is no single road leading to sincerity, sincerity itself is the road.”

This sentence was deeply remembered in Xiao Zhan’s heart. He knew that he should have the same attitude towards acting — there is no shortcut to a good performance, only sincerity and persistence can complete it.

Be neither humble nor arrogant, focus on the current

Before entering the performing arts industry, Xiao Zhan was a university student studying design, as a diligent “contractor” in the company. Because of his work experiences attained before he was 25 years old, he always had a professional self-consciousness, for example, when talking about the drama “A Dream Like A Dream”, he described himself as a screw in the team.

Stills of the theater play “A Dream Like a Dream”, Xiao Zhan (second from right) plays the role of Patient No. 5. 

Xiao Zhan told interviewer that he would be asked about his future plans and goals almost every year, but in fact he is not someone who likes to list plans. “It’s about doing what’s right now, living in the moment.”

It is the graduation season currently, Xiao Zhan recalled his career path with emotion. “After graduating from university, I first worked in my major and then jumped into this industry, I can empathize with the anxiety that some graduates may have. After leaving the campus, the social environment has changed, and the work content is also constantly changing, everyone will encounter different difficulties and challenges, and after one difficulty, there will be another one.” He said, “But you still have to adjust your mentality, be neither humble nor arrogant, don’t be too worried and troubled, and do your best in the matters on hand currently, the troubles will also be solved.”

At the beginning of 2020, Xiao Zhan attended an award ceremony. On the podium, he wrote “JIE”. That is his small expectation for himself: “Don’t be arrogant or hasty, refrain from staying up late, break boundaries, cross domains and explore the world.”

From a designer to a singer, this was a beautiful and unexpected turning point in Xiao Zhan’s life; from a singer to an actor, he had continuously broadened his career boundaries and gradually gained his own starlight; from fresh in the industry to gathering himself, he spent 3 years to train his stage performances and accumulate many works, he consolidated his abilities, and moved forward steadily. At the end of the interview, Xiao Zhan said that he would not set a life plan with ambition, and that the future came from this momentary self.

About life, time would give the best answer.

If I had to use a word to describe him, I would not be able to think of it, but I could think of two poems.

“The pine has ambitions without disdain; the bamboo has principles that does not bend; the plum has a fragrance that is not arrogant.”

“One’s ambitions should become even more firm as one grows older, one’s will should become even more steadfast in the face of adversity.”

Looking at the entire situation from the beginning till the end, this was the quality he made me feel throughout.

He is not an otherworldly sage, nor is he a worldly commoner. The things he did for his friends were things he deemed as reasonable.

Willing to pay any price for a friend, willing to give it all for love, and later on he was even willing to do so for people unrelated to him.

I really wanted to ask a question, what were you thinking when you called home to your family to ask for money for her mother’s medical fees, was it more painful than losing your legs?

What is light – it is something that could nourish anyone, and shine into all the unreachable dark corners. But light is also something that everyone habitually takes for granted everyday after sunrise.

People would think of him in the dark endless rain, so he was always the person who would be injured, he was the one who faced the mines, he was the one handled the stolen hat, he was the one who rushed to block the robbers while yelling for the others to escape, he was the one who sat and watched as someone else stole his life, he was the one who was tossed from his wheelchair – it seemed like everything was him.

Halfway through watching, questions flashed through my mind more than once – was it really necessary to do this for them? It seemed that everyone gave him very little in return. He was physical injured from his back to his legs, to his heart, but he would still comfort others with a smile on his face.

He might have forgotten his pain after comforting others, but the news of not being able to serve as a soldier would be the place where he left tears of his lifetime at. His father’s death, teammates, friends, lovers, it was hard to believe that after suffering so many blows, he still had not turned to the dark side, he still insisted on himself and insisted on his inner thoughts, he adapted to everything by being deeply loyal and knowing how to distinguish the right from wrong.

He lived in the compound like his buddies, his living conditions were just as difficult as ordinary people at that time, he was also influenced by society, but in the end only Chunsheng remained unchanged. Everything else had changed, Hongjun’s desires had grown little by little, and Guohua’s personality had also began to change because of love and the social changes.

Sometimes when I thought about their names, Chen Hongjun (TN: Hong = grand, Jun = soldier), I would think his family wanted him to take the hard and simple road, but he ended up arrogant from his selfishness and over sensitivity, and every step he took was wrong starting from the first. Such a path probably meant that he had never realized the true meaning of his name and went astray.

Ye Guohua (TN: Guo = country, Hua = gorgeous) was such a grand name but his youth was only obsessed about small love and romance, immersed in the comfortable life given by his family. As he became 30 or 40 years old and recalled his past when he was young, he might realize that he never had any lofty aspirations, with an innocence born from stubbornness and cowardliness because of a wealthy family. Such a wealthy environment gave birth the innocence and straightforwardness in the siblings’ personality, which made them incompatible with common life.

Chunsheng (TN: Chun = spring, Sheng = growth), what is Chunsheng, “the wild fires could not burn it all, they would grow again as spring breeze blows”.

He had experienced many joys and sorrows in his life, and he had suffered many blows, shedding a lifetime of tears. There might never be a time more desperate than losing everything when he is in his early twenties. The dream of his lifetime, a past lover, brothers who he grew up with, and a confused future.

But after these tears had finished flowing, he would still chose to start from the beginning as before. In the few decades of time, no matter what happened to his future business, the first thing that comes to his mind was always to stand from the perspective of others, and to take responsibility and comfort them. Even when he heard that he might be permanently disabled, he was only in a daze for a short time, and then he told Xiaomei that he had heard it. To be honest, Xiao Zhan’s acting skills at the doorway is one of the most brilliant in my opinion. Not only It was in line with Chunsheng’s personality, and one could see his attitude when he knew the result for the first time.

Chunsheng was not a person who constantly accumulates all the negative emotions, and he would not talk about the same thing repeatedly. It felt too painful when he rode the train as he retired from the army, when he saw his sister, and when he saw his dead father’s photographs. But people are forward looking, and so was he. He was a little shocked at the doorway, and then he was dazed for a while, calmed down, and stopped feeling sad for himself.

So when he was faced with the teasing from few friends about him as a “disabled person” looking for a job, he just laughed at himself, and I could understand his heart immediately.

Xiao Zhan’s acting skills were also really amazing. He was being ridiculed by others, and yet he was still the big brother who protected everyone since he was a child. If he displayed any unhappiness, it would not fit Chunsheng’s personality; if he looked happy, he would seem mindless.

Hence with a little self-deprecating embarrassment, audiences can sympathize with his situation immediately, and the inconsiderate ridicule between buddies and the insult of an enemy also made him determined to fight against his fate.

Later on, as life got on track, and he continued living bit by bit in gains and losses. The perfect, imperfect, sad and excited, every bit and drop was the crystallization of his own work.

I saw someone asking why the Xiao Chunsheng and his sister were still able to maintain their marriages. Even if Chunsheng’s father is suffering from mental illness, he still taught the two of them to be bold, to place the country first, to always look at the overall situation, to be responsible, and to be loyal. Audiences could see the quality of the these two siblings at a glance and know that they could maintain their marriages very well.

Both Qi Tian and Hongling told Chunsheng, you are very idealistic, you are too idealistic, there is no one like you in the world.

However, I had always felt that Chunsheng was the most practical person, being able to do things that met his inner standards in reality was his idealism.

For a childhood friend who had been together almost every day, if there was a person who would be hurt in Hongjun’s conflict with the others, his thought was very direct, that person would be himself.

And when Guohua was about to be injured by a landmine, he knew Guohua’s character too realistically, Guohua’s weakness and helplessness would even cause him to do some other things that may cause him to lose his life, if it was his other friends who stepped on the landmine, he might have done back to seek help, but he knew that unrealistic fantasies will cost both their lives.

When Qi Tian injured others because of the medical equipment, he knew that avoidance and sophistry would not be a solution, so the first thing he did was to take responsibility immediately, so that the harm to others and himself could be minimized.

Chunsheng is idealistic, but that is an idealism built on realistic actions.

As a fan for so many years, I feel that Xiao Zhan is also an idealist who is shaped by real actions. Yes, every character will have its own quality in it, but most people are either idealistic or practical. In entertainment circle, people who are too realistic can make people intuitively feel that they are too eager for quick success, while people who are too idealistic cannot survive and blend in with the general pan-entertainment.

After four years, I could feel that his reality was not unrealistic or a fantasy throughout. This might be much clearer to me than other fans. He probably would still reply to everyone’s work before the end of each night. But no matter what happens, he would always be positive and encouraging optimism. In the past few years of the pandemic, who could encourage themselves, those around them, and everyone every day?

Slowly watching until the end of Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories, it reminded me of the first time I saw Xiao Zhan’s works. At that time, I was not familiar with him, but his whole person exuded a personable temperament. Under his still very inexperienced acting skills, I could not take my eyes away from that face and demeanor. At that time, he had a very handsome face. Perhaps he had not figured out what his acting career would look like in the future. At that time, he was still a very inconspicuous new star, maybe I paid attention to him because of his face or for other reasons.

But no matter under what circumstances, I never thought that after so many years, in the present, suddenly after so many years, I went from going crazy while working new fan to an anything-goes relaxed old fan.

My footsteps were to follow him and look forward bit by bit, never wanting to stay in the past, and my Weibo also rarely recalled the past. He had not gone to the point of recounting the past and recalling the glorious years. He is still pondering, discovering, and exploring the most suitable way of his own style while at the peak, and he will change to someone different from last year and the year before.

A few days ago Xiao Zhan was asked a question himself, about what had changed in the past few years, he smiled and said that his age had changed.

In the four or five years since he became famous, it can be said that he had always been one of the most talked about artist in China, and even “one of” is not necessary. Looking at his choices at each stage and the situation of each drama, those of us of the same age should have one of the same feelings, when seeking enjoyment, we would feel anxious, we would think about the future, we would recall our youth, and we would occasionally feel emotional late at night, but these depended on our ordinary and simple emotions when we were not clear about our lives.

He is already in a state where he could choose anything freely for his future, and he could even choose to not do anything. There would not be anxiety like ours at all, but instead he seemed to be more elusive and diligent than before. I could see his changes every time and I believe that he is more strict with himself than anyone else, even for after many years, I have never seen him complacent. Every time we meet on screen, it would be like seeing him for the first time. He managed his physique very strictly, he handles lines with ease within one or two years, and almost no one has mentioned the matter of lines anymore.

Most of the superficial acting skills that Chinese people like to judge are smoothly and silently performing micro-expressions + crying scenes. Watching his crying scenes for so many years change bit by bit, starting from taking on the burden of “The Untamed”, and then broadcasting of “Ace Troops”, the enigmatic Gu Yiye, to Xiao Chunsheng’s ups and downs in the decades of changing times.

They were all about the pain of losing a family member, when it was his Shijie he would cry out in pain, when his mother left him in Douluo Continent he would cry bitterly, and when Chunsheng knowing his father had left he would cry silently.

From the beginning when the three of them ate together as teenagers, to the recent reunion of the three of them as middle aged men eating hot pot, he no longer had the urge to be their big brother, the unfamiliar and subtle embarrassment of mature friends who have not seen each other for a long time, the natural acting skills, the movement of the wine glass, he had been completely reborn.

The sense of justice he portrayed when he was in customs in his early twenties was completely different from the sense of justice during equipment incident in the later period. He had captured the ability to cross time and space in his portrayal, and the ability to change the characteristics of age and location of his character at the fastest speed.

I could not evaluate how much he had improved, but at least I know I had almost changed nothing from the time I first met him to now. The pandemic has affected me for three years, and it seems that I had excusably stopped moving forward for three years. Xiao Zhan had stopped nothing in these three years, when in fact, he had more reasons to relax and stop himself than anyone else.

But no matter those who pay attention to him or not, they all like to look at this mountain and its height, wondering what is on the other side of the mountain, and they all think it is the Himalayas. When he was not famous, people would want him to be famous and have more choices. After he had become popular, people would want him to be more popular than others. Even if he had become the most popular, he would be given endless demands. I think even if he reached the even higher requirements again, there will be more waiting for him, not to mention he stayed four years at the top, maybe he would be expected to stay there for eight years, ten years, or even ten thousand years. If Qin Shihuang debuted, people would expect him to write a hundred improvement measures, and they would beat down his invasion tactics of the Six Kingdoms as worthless and nonsense.

As a person who started to get in touch with this profession without a professional background, not even in his youth, no one could perform and think for him, he could only explore and change himself bit by bit, and for him, he had never stopped changing for a single moment, more than 70 performances of stage plays, filming dramas for several months at a time. We never had to worry about whether he was coasting along, no need to worry about his physical status he would show when he appears on screen, he would always be doing his favorite job with a high degree of professionalism in every moment. In fact, he could even not fumble or change and do absolutely nothing, and no one would dare to say that he is unsuccessful.

He knows what he wants, what to do, and what he should do, better than anyone else.

In the past few years, he gradually calmed down more than anyone else. I thought of the 19th episode where Chunsheng’s legs were injured, when the patient next to him told him that Guohua had stolen his military achievements. I sighed when I watched it and that hurt a little.

All of his glorious colors had been stolen, possessed, and damaged, and that was by someone as close as a brother, plus the pain of physical ruin, what kind of expression should he have when he heard the news?

Chunsheng is bright, open-minded and loyal, should he smile indifferently like his usual personality, and show that he did not care at all, or pile up all of his grievances and burst into tears?

What I saw was that he was slightly stunned in disbelief at first, then with a little bit of shock, then he lowered his head and pondered for a while, and quickly returned to the original expression of pretending to be indifferent. After everyone dispersed, he was alone in tears and pain, thinking about his experiences, thinking that he might not be able to do what he loved most in the future, thinking that even if Guohua apologized to him, he had to comfort him instead, and let him live a good life as a soldier.

This was one of my favorite performances in all of Xiao Zhan’s dramas. He did not need words, exaggerated gestures and expressions, or any narration to express his sadness and sorrow.

After that, he still had to reopen his own wounds to comfort those who never empathized with him. It was the biggest change in life, yet afterwards everyone seemed to forget about it, and only he remembered it, and therefore his career choice was related to this experience, affecting him to want to help more people instead.

Oh Chunsheng, oh Xiao Zhan!

Who else would remember it except you, remembering the way you came here, remembering the pain you suffered, and when your legs are healed, you still needed to be successful, to start a business and to have even greater achievements.

But I still remember it.

Using a paragraph.

In June 2023, in the topics related to the actor Xiao Zhan, a Beijing boy named Xiao Chunsheng appeared more frequently.

In the popular drama “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, Xiao Chunsheng, who lived in the 1970s, bustled around for the whole day, wearing a coat, riding a 28″ bicycle, reading books everywhere, and fighting off injustices. Even though he lived recklessly, but he experienced changes one after another, such as the departure of his loved ones and the shattering of his dreams. The audience lamented about his encounters and worried about his fate. Looking at him, it was like seeing their parents when they were young.

The Xiao Chunsheng on screen was pure, proud, and high-spirited, which was completely different from the quiet, humble and polite Xiao Zhan off screen. These two young people with great contrasts, spanning nearly 40 years, had formed an invisible resonance with the role as the medium.

When talking with Yuli Studio, Xiao Zhan told us that although there are obvious personality and regional differences with Xiao Chunsheng, both of them have the same strength in their bones. Even if there were only a 1% probability, they would never give up working hard, they firmly believed that as long as they persist, ahead of them must be their future and light.

Through Xiao Chunsheng, Xiao Zhan has completed a new challenge and training. The sea in their dreams, even if it was sealed in ice at low temperatures, the scorching sun would eventually arrive for them.

01 From Chongqing people to Beijing people

When reading the script of “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories”, Xiao Chunsheng, a young man living in Beijing in the 1970s, immediately attracted Xiao Zhan. In that high-spirited, dare-to-think and dare-to-do era, he admired Xiao Chunsheng’s recklessness, freedom and perseverance.

“His enthusiasm and contagious power were relatively strong, so he would have a stronger presence. This sense of presence came from the fact that in Xiao Chunsheng’s mind, his father was a hero through and through, so the influence on him was positive. This made him him very optimistic, cheerful and full of hope,” Xiao Zhan told Yuli Studio.

Xiao Zhan believed that in the tide of the times of the past 40 years, no matter how people and matters changed, Xiao Chunsheng always stuck to his friendship and principles in his heart, hence a pure land existed in his heart.

Slowly, along the way, from Xiao Chunsheng, Xiao Zhan met a Tong Xiaomei, who was soft on the outside but strong on the inside, Ye Guohua, who was loyal and true, He Hongling, who was warm and realistic, and Chen Hongjun, who was inferior and restrained. From them, a vivid image of Beijing youth emerged in his mind.

“The group stories in the script were very well written. The growth of Xiao Chunsheng was very complete, so I wanted to challenge it. From the relationship between Xiao Chunsheng and all of his buddies in Beijing in the early stage, to him joining the army, because he had to return to Beijing because of some reason, and to the later stage of entrepreneurship, the relationship with the people around him changed, and his experience was very complicated, but very attractive.”

Xiao Zhan, who grew up in the factory zone, has lived with his family for a long time, and often listened to his family retelling stories about the past. When he walked into the set that was meticulously restored to the 1970s, wearing old-fashioned coat and gloves, and riding a 28″ bicycle, Xiao Zhan seemed to see the shadow of his childhood, as he acted, he felt that he had become Xiao Chunsheng.

After the episode aired, his family members told him: “The acting is not bad, felt a bit like our era.” This gave Xiao Zhan more confidence.

However, Xiao Chunsheng’s mouthful of Beijing accent stumped Xiao Zhan, who is a Chongqing native who had never spoken with Beijing accent before.

During the first script reading, Xiao Zhan stood up and introduced himself saying, “Hello to every laoshi, I am Xiao Zhan, and I am a kid from Chongqing.” He originally thought that he was the only one who was from the south among the leading actors, but in the end, Zhang Lingxin, who portrayed Chunsheng’s sister, said that she was from Shanghai. Seeing the “sister” and himself “suffering together”, Xiao Zhan joked, “Sister, let’s change the background of the story and say that we were actually children who grew up in the south and then moved to the north.”

In order to train the Beijing dialect well, he read the script like he was a student studying a text, underlining the Beijing dialects he does not understand one by one, and annotating the correct meaning next to it. In addition to studying in private, he often practiced his pronunciation with Liu Ruilin and other Beijing actors on the set, saying “heyo-eh” and “ho” every day.

“If there were behind-the-scenes released, everyone would be entertained. Because many people in the crew are from the north. The northerners have an innate advantage, that is, language advantages. The way they talk is particularly funny. I just enjoyed watching them at the scene because I have to silently think about how to say them in Beijing dialect,” Xiao Zhan said.

02 Social Butterfly vs Social Phobia

Compared with Xiao Chunsheng being a social butterfly in the drama, Xiao Zhan outside of the drama is a bit socially phobic.

If the event had many people, Xiao Zhan would usually sits in the corner habitually, laughing while watching everyone play. Seeing many people discussing Type E and Type I personalities, Xiao Zhan, who didn’t know much about MBTI, tried to think about it: “Maybe Xiao Chunsheng has Type E personality? I am an I, right?”

When playing Xiao Chunsheng, Xiao Zhan had to utilize the energy of his whole body to fire up the whole scene. In the scene where he was fighting with Guo Heizi, in order to show his presence, Xiao Zhan yelled while jumping up and down, as if he was going to throw a small flame from his mouth, but after the director shouted to start filming, he changed his face to an arrogant state at the speed of light, completing the transition from “Mr. Social Phobia” to “Mr. Social Butterfly” in one second.

Every time when shooting a group scene where everyone ate together, the director always liked to say: “Let Xiao Chunsheng say a few words”. In the absence of a script, Xiao Zhan could only muster all his strength and chattered with a series of output.

In the scene where he was sending Ye Guohua and He Hongling off to the army, looking at Ye Guohua who was reluctant to part, Xiao Zhan said impulsively: “Good men aspires far and wide”, but the resulting scene was a little awkward. So, Xiao Zhan mustered his courage a second time, and raised another glass. Although the movements of his hands were a little rusty and the wine glass almost spilled after toasting, the atmosphere was finally preserved.

During the time when he played Xiao Chunsheng, Xiao Zhan briefly experienced the happiness of a social butterfly. The leading actors Liu Ruilin, Cui Hang and Xiao Zhan were of the same age, and all three of them happened to like singing. While waiting for their scenes, they would simply sing together, filling the crew’s daily background music. After the episode was aired, he also saw everyone’s jokes about Xiao Chunsheng on the Internet, which made him laugh so hard.

But a year after the end of filming, Xiao Zhan admitted frankly that the social butterfly attributes he learned from Xiao Chunsheng had degenerated.

In the army, in order to beat others in running, Xiao Chunsheng practiced extra hours alone in the middle of the night. Because of this, he was nicknamed “Xiao Chunjuan” by netizens. (TN: Juan is the action of rolling, a slang to mean improving. Chunjuan refers to spring roll, a pun on Xiao Chunsheng’s name.)

Xiao Zhan felt that Xiao Chunsheng was someone who was born competitive, and the “improving” came from the pride in his bones and his refusal to admit defeat. But in real life, he just wants to do my own thing well, and he would not compete with others or himself until he cannot sleep, he just wants to do my best.

“In the last interview, I said that it’s quite good to be tired. In fact, I am still very tired, but happy tired.” Xiao Zhan said.

03 Growing with Xiao Chunsheng

For Xiao Zhan, the most difficult part of portraying Xiao Chunsheng was his complexity.

“The complexity lies in the fact that he went from adolescence to his 40s, from a young boy to an entrepreneur. Many things happened during this process, which needed to make the audience feel that he sticks to his guns and that he has grown up, Those are the points I’m always balancing while filming.”

Xiao Chunsheng in the drama was faced with many major life choices. These included not only love and friendship, but also dreams and future.

While reading the script, Xiao Zhan had a discussion with the director. He felt that it was not the script that made Xiao Chunsheng choose, but the environment and society at that time made Xiao Chunsheng actively make the choice. Whether it is the subsequent changes in fate or emotional changes, they were the result of Xiao Chunsheng’s own choices.

In order to present such a complexity, Xiao Zhan would carefully discuss with the director before filming each scene, what kind of emotion was Xiao Chunsheng in this scene? Did the logic of behavior comply with his current choices? Only by understanding the logic of each character’s actions can he truly become Xiao Chunsheng.

Xiao Zhan also designed many small details for Xiao Chunsheng. For example, he did not speak properly in the early stage. After joining the army, he experienced more impermanence in the world, also grew up, and his demeanor has become more and more steady.

“I did some processing on his expression and body language. The young Xiao Chunsheng was unrestrained and outgoing, so his expression is richer, when walking, his steps were brisk and he would even run a few steps. As an adult, Xiao Chunsheng became more steady, more often he was introverted, he would not have much body movements, and at this time his walking was step by step, down to earth.”

In the countless crossroads of life, Xiao Chunsheng always stuck to his original aspiration and passion, and had never been defeated by his own misfortunes. This was also the point that Xiao Zhan admired the most and wanted to learn from.

After “Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories” was broadcasted, Xiao Zhan also saw the analysis of internet users on Xiao Chunsheng’s choices, and these comments coincided with his own thoughts.

“The thing that impressed me the most was the point about choices. I had never spoken to anyone about it, and I was sure no one else would know. But in just the few episodes that aired, people already figured it out, which astonished me, very unexpectedly.”

While spending all day and night with the characters, Xiao Zhan and Xiao Chunsheng also had friendship, family affection and career resonance, and completed a special growth together.

Perseverance, steadfastness, gaining strength when encountering the strong, only difficult roads are uphill roads, in this conversation, Xiao Zhan repeatedly talked about these words with Yuli Studio.

“Later, he was injured, discharged militarily, and experienced several heavy blows, but he never gave up easily. This is worth learning or thinking about in our own lives. There will be many difficulties, but we will never be easily defeated — this is more important.” Xiao Zhan said.

Brown knitted shirt – TOD’S Brown long pants – TOD’S 

Deep blue jacket – TOD’S Deep blue long pants – TOD’S 

“There is already two Xiao Zhans, one of them is here, that’s me.” Early February, while filming in Chongqing Mount Xiannü scenic area, Xiao Zhan said as he ate. “There is another Xiao Zhan, the Xiao Zhan in quotes, but he is probably not me anymore. We are all working for him, including myself.”

Xiao Zhan set his chopsticks down, opened his hands and faced the palms at each other, like gesturing a small shapeless box.

Like before; same as most people; really nothing special; just want to do this job well; did not actually think so much; do not know what else he can do; just staying alone — in the narration related to Xiao Zhan,  no matter whether it’s Xiao Zhan or the staff around him, from time to time, when faced with the questions suspended in the air, they could only end with these phrases.

To a celebrity,most of them have a contradictory mentality. On the one hand, people are used to a world of labels, using a few words to summarize a stranger, unwilling to spend any effort; on the other hand, the impulse to explore attracts us to question labels, seeking out the more familiar emotions and human nature. For Xiao Zhan, this contradiction is particularly prominent: He has hardly any labels, and no one can accurately find these few; at the same time, the closer people are to him, the more we will find that his life is exactly one that is most familiar to us, and because it’s so familiar, we start to suspect that it’s not real.This contradiction is like a rift. Xiao Zhan is just doing everything he should be doing within this rift.

1. The House on the Hill 

Deep blue jacket – TOD’S White singlet, Black long jeans – Personal belongings 

When he was young, usually before Chinese New Year, Xiao Zhan had to climb a hill to pay respects to his ancestors. He felt then that Chongqing was really too big, the hills were so distant, and in order to climb that hill he had to walk so far. Early morning, just after waking up, he had to follow the adults, setting off from his home, taking the public bus to the central station, switching bus, going from the southern district of Chongqing to the north of the river, crossing the river, then he would only arrive at the entrance to the hill. This was in the 1990s, that road then was still a muddy road that was created by years of villagers’ footsteps. There were wild grass by the road, and the road was narrow, less than a meter wide, so cars could not drive in. Xiao Zhan remembered that the road under his feet would be barely visible, clear for a while, blur for a while, and if it was a rainy day, the road would be very slippery, and the children would run ahead. Children would always dash to the very front, the adults would always yell from behind, it’s wrong, it’s wrong, not that side, it’s this side.

There were no landmarks, no GPS, Xiao Zhan and his family found their ancestral home by the road on that hill just by memory. It was a dark brown wooden house. The house was probably a hundred years old, it used to be the home to the parents of Xiao Zhan’s grandmother, or even grandparents of his grandmother. Of course, there is no one living there now. Xiao Zhan walked in the old house, he remembered that the first floor had 2 bedrooms, the second floor also had a small bedroom, the first floor led to the second floor with a wooden ladder. An old stove which burned firewood. The entire house was made of wood, there was a small courtyard outside of the house, and there seemed to be a pomegranate tree inside.

White singlet, Black long jeans – Personal belongings 

This was a necessary trip in the big family. When they were on the hill, there were a lot of activities, Xiao Zhan would gather wild onions, pluck carrots and dig for wild vegetables with his elder cousins, and they also tried to setup a fire to cook. When tired from playing, sometimes he would also try to stay by himself for a while. He saw that there were small hills behind this big hill, so he left his family and climbed up that small hill, starting a child’s exploration. When he was at the back of the hill, there was no one around him, he would stay there quietly alone, looking at the greenish black shadows of the faraway hills. His family would usually stay on the hill for a day, and only come down in the evening.

“A child will not fear,” he recalled his then-self, “only someone, who is grown up, will.” Looking at the hazy faraway hills, he really wanted to walk over — a child never lacked courage — then he felt, no matter how difficult the road would be, he could climb up with his hands and legs. But later on, as he slowly grew older, going to middle school, to university, when he came to this hill again, he did not dare to climb it as boldly and casually as he did as a child.

His most recent time to this hill was a few years ago. Now the road had been rebuilt, the highway could go straight to the foot of the hill. Xiao Zhan and his family would drive to the foot of the hill, but they would still need to climb it with their legs. They walked towards that road that they have walked on over and over again throughout the years. As a child, Xiao Zhan felt that adult’s legs could walk so fast, but now, he stayed in Chongqing less and less, and discovered that his parents were getting old and could not walk after walking for a while. He and his elder cousins carried the luggage, one step by one step, that long and tiring journey in their memories – they had to walk past so many places, such as a bamboo forest, an area of grave mounds, signifying a milestone for each segment – but this time it seemed to be shorter, without knowing it, in just a few steps, they had reached that door of the old house. Looking back on the journey, that big bamboo forest of his childhood seems to be just a small pile now. Those terrifying groups of grave mounds, only seemed to be two or three now. And then those small hills, it took so much time to climb up as a child, but now he seemed to be able to step onto it by gently lifting his legs. As for those steep ridges in his memory, it seemed that the slope had also flattened. The muddy road was gone, the winding mountain road in black asphalt shone in the sun.

The hill used to be so far, used to be so tall, Xiao Zhan now thought, but as time goes by, the hill was no longer faraway, and also not as tall anymore. Then, he was just a common Chongqing child, now, a lot of people know that his name is Xiao Zhan. However, what remained unchanged is that the hill is still without a name.

2. The Factory District in the Dreams

Now, Xiao Zhan would still dream of the places he lived in as a child, that factory district that represented the entire world then. The factory district seemed to belong to a certain car parts production company – Small District 1, Small District 2, Small District 3, Small District 4, Small District 5. He already forgot exactly which district he stayed in – the houses in the factory district looked very similar, 7 to 8 storeys high, one by one, it was a patch of grey in his memory. He had many playmates of the same age in the factory district. After finishing their homework, like other places in the whole country, the children would run down the buildings, the shouts came one after another, echoing in the air. “So-and-so come down quickly! So-so is already down here!” After playing until 8pm or 9pm, mothers would look out of their windows, shouting down in the dark: “So-and-so, come home! So-so, bed time!”

Brown knitted shirt – TOD’S

Soccer, hide-and-seek, hiding in a grass mound or a turn, some dark, unnoticeable corner. The scariest place in the factory district is an abandoned canal, the entrance was very big, the people were so tall, it was pitch black inside, nothing could be visible. Bats would fly out once in a while. Bolder children would walk in with a lit firewood. Xiao Zhan has never gone inside before, it was too dark inside, he would look at them from afar.

Injuries from falls were common, children would fall onto the ground as they ran, so did Xiao Zhan, he had quite a few scars on his knees. Now, looking at these scars from childhood, he felt that these were possibly the more realistic life instead. Now everything seemed more unreal, fantasy. There were no mobile phones and internet then, it seemed like every moment of the life then remained here, like a photograph, paused in his memory, left in his heart. Xiao Zhan still remembered now, sometimes his parents would not allow him to go downstairs, worried that he would play too wildly. He would stay alone in his room, resting against the windowsill looking down. He could still recall what he saw then – the neighbor’s balcony, the flowerpots on the balcony, the clothes drying in the sun, the garden downstairs, the small path in the garden. He could remember everything clearly. When he was in third or fourth grade in elementary school, he would fold paper airplanes, flying them down from the fifth storey. One paper airplane would fly very far, until it flew to the balcony opposite. He would frequently dream of running the the factory district, at the places meant for children to run. In those dreams, Xiao Zhan did not seem to have left the place and came back. He remembered his mood in the dream – I am still here, I’m just tired from playing, climb upstairs, go home, I want to have a nap in my bedroom.

Xiao Zhan’s home was on the fifth storey then. When going upstairs, the staircase was old, and many lights did not light up. Every time he walked until the third storey, he always had to take a deep breath due to the fear of the dark, dash up to the fourth floor with “thud, thud, thud” sounds, there would be light at the fourth storey. Now, intermittently, he would still dream of that dark third storey passageway. It was pitch black in his dreams, nothing would be visible, and there was something in an unknown corner. There was once that made a deep impression on him, he had already walked past the darkness of the third storey and reached the fifth storey, but there were still no light. Faced with the familiar front door, he reached out his hands in his dream, tried to turn the door knob with strength but he could not turn it, he clenched his fists to pound on the door, but there was no one at home. He could not open that door no matter what, so he stood fruitlessly in that passageway in his dreams.

Brown knitted shirt – TOD’S Brown long pants – TOD’S 

Like everyone else, sometimes Xiao Zhan would also dream of examinations. He would always wake up in a fright. There was once it was a mathematics teacher, who was quite fierce. Actually he quite liked that teacher, but in the dream, the teacher looked at him and said, what’s wrong with you, how did you not know how to do a single question? He looked at the functions on his book, dazed, “Why do I still remember functions? I can’t do a single question, I’m gone.”

The factory district was the whole world, it was almost vast without boundaries. To go out of the factory district, he had to get prior approval from his parents, just like going abroad. He was reading encyclopedia then, every set had 4 books, one of the book described Earth and the Universe, there was a picture on the book, showing the layers of the Earth’s mantle, and there were still many layers below the crust. He thought that Earth was like that, and then remembered that there was an especially large rock in the garden downstairs. He later called for his buddies to the rock, and suggested, let’s move it, below would be magma, that’s really how the Earth looked like.

Now when he recalled, his thoughts then were childish and laughable, but as he savored, he still did not know why he was so persistent on that rock, persistent on the true face of the Earth – it was just a normal rock, a child, but he wanted to see the entire Universe behind it.

3. City of Mountains

Deep blue jacket – TOD’S Deep blue long pants – TOD’S 

The Chongqing in Xiao Zhan’s memory was very old, but also very new. He remembered in the movie theaters, during the 1990s, his parents brought him to watch “Lover’s Grief over the Yellow River”, “Lotus Lantern” and “Anaconda”. He had to squeeze in the public bus to visit the People’s Liberation Monument. It was really difficult to squeeze onto the bus. Probably because everyone wanted to occupy up a seat. He could not remember the exact routes – it could be starting with “3”, after getting onto the bus, people would argue over the seats, sometimes they would even fight. That bus route was too rowdy, there would always be something like this happening. On the bus, Xiao Zhan would look out of the window, the bus would have a long period of quiet and tranquil road after passing the lower city district, on both sides of the windows, there would be scenes of an antiquated city. But after crossing the Changjiang Bridge, in a blink, he would have entered an optimistic, contemporary modern city. This was already the upper city district, that time, Chongqing was already starting to build skyscrapers. As to the lower city district, the area nearest to the river had most of the old houses, and now most of them had been demolished. That kind of city view was very mesmerizing, Xiao Zhan felt that now, he seemed to be within history, within the lingering understated past, but yet he could see the brilliant glass walls of the skyscrapers as he looked up, as though these mysterious things of the passing future were about to take him away.

And also the Datianwan Stadium in the Yuzhong district. The era of C League soccer. Chongqing’s home match was massively popular all over the country. His father would bring him to watch soccer, Chongqing Lifan FC, in 1997, 1998, 1999 and 2000 – the best years of Chongqing FC, the stadium would always be full of tens of thousands of people, everyone yelling “Chongqing, rise up!” in unison. Xiao Zhan was young then, he did not understand, look at the full stadium of dense crowd of heads, he just felt it was lively.

That was still the era of newspapers. When he was young, Xiao Zhan’s family subscribed to Chongqing Business Daily, he liked to read newspapers, so many pages, and he would almost flip through all of them. Later, after a few years, he was grown up, there was free Chongqing Morning News on the light rail, and he would also get a copy habitually. He would first read social news usually, from top to bottom, sometimes, he had not arrived at his stop after reading the entire newspaper, and he would go back to the front page and read from the beginning again.

That was also the era of pen pals. In school, teachers would encourage students to make pen pals – perhaps to train essay composition ability, he also made one, sending each other letters, talking about weather, sunlight and Chongqing’s rain. But there were only 2 rounds of letters. However, he still remembered how he was anticipating his letter. After sending the letter, after a week, he would come to the communication room in school, checking the class letterbox. Flipping up his hand, opening the cover, looking for the letter that writes “Xiao Zhan” from the thick stack of envelopes.

Time moves forward in some kind of order like flowing water. Middle school. High school. University. When taking the entrance exams for universities, he wrote down art related ambitions, his results were way head of Chongqing’s score line, and he could also participate in the entrance examinations in other schools in the whole country. The teacher asked Xiao Zhan, are you sure you want to pick Chongqing? Why don’t you go out and try, such as to Beijing or to Zhejiang, have a look at China Academy of Art.

He said he did not want to. Xiao Zhan was very clear, Chongqing was quite fine. He loved Chongqing too much. If he were not an actor, he would not need to go so many places, he might have stayed here all the time. But, he also thought now, everything is unknown, if there was a parallel world, he might not be in Chongqing long ago. It was not that he deliberately wanted to leave, nor deliberately wanted to stay, it was just that he did not have a clear destination, he did not have to be at somewhere.

Deep blue jacket – TOD’S Deep blue long pants – TOD’S 

Now he has already forgotten the name of the road on his way to work. His friend recommended him, he posted his resume, passed his interview. That design company was in an industrial park in Chongqing, he also could not remember if it was the second or third storey. After walking in, there were rows and rows of workstations, the company was not big, about 10 people or so. Work started at 9am, knocking off at 6pm, clocking twice a day. He set off from home, riding on public transport, passing a bridge. He sat if there were seats, if not he stood. Sometimes it was jammed, sometimes it did not. During work meetings, he would sit by the sides – like almost everyone else, he wanted to sit on the seat furthest away from the boss. His work comprised of image construction and drawing. They wore earphones and drew while listening to music. The entire atmosphere of the company was duller, the dark industrial style, with the air conditioner making muffled sounds indoors. If it was an overcast rainy day, the room would be even darker. He did not smoke, sat near a colleague who smoked at his seat, there would be some smoke in the air once in a while, but he felt that was inconsequential. Sometimes, if the client wanted something urgently, they would spend the night working overtime. When he left in the morning, his head would feel a bit heavy, Xiao Zhan would walk into the nearby convenience store, just buying some snacks.

If it was raining when they knocked off, then it would be a little frustrating. Xiao Zhan had to walk up a hill to take public transport, and the rain will flow down the road while he was walking up towards it, as good as walking up against the flow, just a few steps, his shoes would be completely wet. He was already tired, and his whole body would be sticky from the rain, and now his shoes were filled with water, he would wait for public transport in frustration. There were a lot of people knocking off, he might not be able to get on the first transport, so he had to continue standing, waiting for the next one again.

When he got his salary, he would give a portion to his parents and leave some for himself. He did not smoke, drink, at most he went to KTV with his friends, rarely visited the malls. When the season changed and he really needed clothes, he would then think of buying a couple. He always maintained this habit – buy only what he lacked, and he would buy directly, never going to the mall first.

4. Face and Drama

Now, after waking up, Xiao Zhan would stand in front of the mirror. In the mirror, his hair was messy, sometimes his face would be slightly swollen. He thought, if someone saw him in this state, what would they think? He had to be responsible for his image. As an artist, he rightfully had to care about his image. He loved to eat bread, but carbohydrates causes edema, he would have single eyelids when filming drama. So he had to control his cravings. There was one drama, he had to eat skewers of meat in the scene, so he went hungry first for a while. There was one period of time he would not drink water after 6pm. There was a while, he was thinner than his usual weight by 20 catty (12kg). But he felt that there was nothing to say about these, these were just work needs.

His face makes him seem younger. A lot of people who met him would ask him how old he was. He liked to pretend that he had been through a lot and say 30 plus. But people would just feel that this person just looks like he’s 20 plus. He would say thank you. But looking younger is not always something good. When he had to portray a role of someone who had a certain age, looking younger was an obstacle in crafting the character. Once, he met some of the older actors in the drama, he observed their expressions, their facial movements. He noticed that the edge of a person’s lips would turn downwards as they grew older, he also learned to turn the edge of his lips down. And he had to learn the gaze – he usually looks at something in focus, looks in concentration, those were the gaze of a youth, he went on to observe the older actors, and discovered that they squinted as they looked at people, out of focus, not caring and not trying hard, he learned those, looked at himself in the mirror again, and it seemed like he finally looked a little like it. Of course, he was not simply pursing the sense of age, but because the story required it, he wanted to sculpt his character more fully, so that audiences will not feel out of character.

He started body building, training muscles deliberately, at the end of 2020. He used to jog habitually, but because he had to act as someone physically strong in a drama, he started body building, and this habit remained until now. Now, even when in the makeup room, he would also look for time to do some high efficiency training movements, or jog. But as always, there were always some voices who worry that he would destroy the image he once had. He also did not want to draw his hair longer, and also did not want to have bangs during styling. His team would always tell him, listen to everyone’s voices, you looked better that way. Sometimes, he would deliberately make himself more rough on purpose, and there would indeed be people who would be angry – and many people would be angry, some times there would be voices telling him, you don’t want to train – this face is his, but there are countless people looking, countless people giving requests, this face, the face in the mirror, Xiao Zhan looked at it, sometimes he would think that it belonged to him, but it also seemed to belong to other people.

Would it be an obstacle in his acting career being considered good-looking? Someone had asked him that more than once. This might be the same dilemma for good-looking celebrities. He would think so too. But he could not do anything deliberately. Everything had to depend on the script, on the plot and on the needs of the character. If he were to portray a youth in an urban drama, he thought, being ugly on purpose was not correct too. If the story is worthwhile and needed him to change this face, then he also had enough passion and willingness to change for the role. This face could help him, but he also knew that he had to put in more effort sometimes.

Now, he thought, perhaps it was more important to find the balance. Those who like him, some would always stay on, and some will leave. He is just walking forward step by step, just like climbing a hill as a child, with this ever-changing face of Xiao Zhan.

Brown hooded sweater – TOD’S Brown long pants – TOD’S

When reading the script, Xiao Zhan would always have some little thoughts – if he were an audience now, looking from the third party perspective, this story, could this script move him, could he empathize with the character, he was very afraid to become a wandering spirit in the scene, just standing there reciting lines. He knew that empty recitation of lines had no meaning. In an ancient period drama that was full of emotions, those days, he was always analyzing how to speak, such that the audiences’ hearts would wrench for him. The best classes were of course acting with better actors. He was not afraid that audiences saying that he was not as good as these veteran actors. He was more concerned about whether he had improved in the drama, and if he had learned new things.

When he first started acting, Xiao Zhan did what the director told him to do. But actually until now, he still did not know whether which expression or action of his was considered “good” on the camera – he truly did not know where the standard was, and no one discussed such questions with him – what kind of face is correct? Those so-called actor face, movie face, model face, idol face, these mysterious words, what were the differences between them? His criterion for judging was very simple, that is just to look at the picture itself, and see if that face in the scene could move himself.

Now, Xiao Zhan would have dreams when arriving at a new drama group. He would frequently dream of the director looking for him, telling him how to perform a scene. “But I can’t even remember the lines” – he would think so in a panic in the dream, then he would wake up suddenly in a fright. He would be unable to sleep, so he got off the bed, came to the table, holding a pen to mark on the script, searching for those unreasonable places, and continued to memorize his lines.

One of the ways to relieve stress was to run. Now it was not as convenient as before to run, there was always someone following. In 2016, he had just debuted and lived at Yuelianghe, and in order to look photogenic, he would always run along the small river next to it. Later on, there was a drama and he went to Zhejiang Xiangshan. Every night, as long as there were no night scenes, he would go jogging. It was very hot in the summer, and Xiangshan then was empty and faraway, there were some vast and endless farmlands – it was unlike the Xiangshan he visited a few years later, it had completely turned into a bustling scene – there were wheat fields, rice fields in the countryside, especially beautiful. After dark, he ran along the concrete road at the edge of the fields. There were often big cars driving on the road. For safety, he would turn on the flash of his mobile phone so that passing cars could see the light and notice the people. Sometimes he would run alone, sometimes he would run with other actors. After running for a while, his body would be soaking wet, but it was very comfortable, it was hot and cool at the same time. Sometimes as he ran, it would start raining – Xiao Zhan was just Xiao Zhan at this time, he felt – during this moment, he completely belonged to himself.

I am the rift between that person that I want to become And that person that other people make me to be 

Since his debut, from his first drama until now, Xiao Zhan’s every character had not repeated. Every time, when receiving a new script, be it him or his team, they would always ask, are you really accepting this character? Confirming that you want to film this drama? They would repeatedly screen, repeatedly reconsider, hoping that there would be new improvements in each role, and every role would also be different from Xiao Zhan.

What he himself thought of it. There did not seem to be an easy answer. Filming dramas, filming commercials, some public events, besides these, Xiao Zhan would stay alone most of the time. On the set, Xiao Zhan would be like a bat burrowing back into its cave, he would burrow into his hotel room, and stayed inside as long as he could; usually, he would stay at home, of course, except for the driver who picks him up to work, few people knew where he stayed – it was like a habit, and more like an instinct – he estimated that even if he switched to a different career, he would still not like sitting in a café or a bar. He did not like to go to crowded places before, so his current job is surprisingly suitable for him – after knocking off he could stay alone, watching dramas by himself, playing games by himself, doing push-ups and things he wanted to do.

Deep blue jacket – TOD’S 

There were many problems that could be understood when alone – of course there were those you could not understand, Xiao Zhan’s method was to not think about them for the time being. He had to solve problems himself, he rarely took the initiative to tell others. Confiding to others was phrase far away from him. His friends would tell him, if he was under pressure, he should tell others, confide, and vent. He disagreed. If the problem could be resolved, then he could understand it, those that could not be resolved would only increase troubles by speaking out. He would rather try to do something new. This could be considered as his experience. People are constantly encountering new problems, and when new matters meet new problems, then the old problems would be forgotten, and at this time, the answers would become obvious: this proved that the previous problem was not so important. Even if those important problems were forgotten, they would resurface in some quiet dead of night – like a huge wave crashing over a lone lost ship, at this moment, Xiao Zhan felt that there was still no solution.

The problem was not about confiding, he thought. Even if he told a hundred people, the problem would still exist there, unresolved, and it would float back in the middle of the night.

He had been like this since his university days, because he did not confide and he was unwilling to express, he became someone who gave others a sense of security instead, he would be caught by his friends, his role was a living listening ear. But, on the one hand, in order to help his friends, he would always listen; and then forget after listening, on the other hand, he had to block these off as much as possible, when someone wanted to confide in him he would first ask: “Are you saying something related to me? If it’s not related to me then don’t say it, I really don’t want to hear it.” He felt that it was difficult to keep secrets for others, so he tried his best not to listen to other people’s privacy – there was a risk in listening, if the secret was revealed, then he would become a suspect, he did not want to be a suspect, and even more so he did not want to have to prove his integrity to his friends later on: “I did not say that, I did not betray you.” That would be ridiculous, he thought.

Now, he spends very little time alone. When it was extravagant, he could get 3 days in a row. During this time, he and his staff tried to not communicate with each other as much as possible, each working on their own matters, leaving space – so that he could return to his small universe, this was a habit at first, then it became tacit understanding, and now it became a fact. Once in a while they would encounter a little trouble at work, Xiao Zhan would be able to draw some energy from his body and firmly control the matter. There was an event, it was a rare accident, it was time to go onstage, but they were still on the way, after getting out of the car, Xiao Zhan rushed to the stage, the host was improvising, filling in the time sentence by sentence. Walking onto the stage, Xiao Zhan remembered, his heart was still pounding wildly, he suppressed it first, then sent the words out of his mouth. But no one saw any flaws – his control was too good, too steady, and like many times before, the staff was sure that he really had a small universe with him.

“I’m going to leave” – sometimes, maybe he was a little tired, or he wanted to relieve stress suddenly, he would crack such a joke – just a joke, but with a serious expression. What is he going to do after leaving? Maybe he will be a florist, or open an art gallery, he said. Going anywhere would be fine – as long as he is alone, back to the factory district of his childhood, the viewing stands of Datianwan, or the public bus to People’s Liberation Monument. He could also run back to the door that could not be opened in the fifth storey, or back to his job as a designer. If he continued running, he would back to that hill in his childhood. The hill used to be so far, so tall, but as time went on, the hill was no longer far, and no longer as tall. A lot of people know that his name is Xiao Zhan, but that hill continued to be without a name.

Recently, Douyin released the Supertopic Level chart, actor Xiao Zhan was the only “Diamond 3”, his popularity value was the sum of the 2nd and 3rd ranked traffic, his commercial value was also first among Chinese celebrities. As of the end of 2022, Xiao Zhan had as many as 35 various endorsements, he was the Chinese face rarely seen in various major shopping malls in Europe and the United States. This was still during the period where he had no dramas airing, and he was even in a “semi-quiet” state for the past 3 years, with few popular hot searches and rarely participating in variety shows.

Many people more or less knew about the 227 incident. After that, Xiao Zhan, a suddenly popular traffic star, plummeted and fell to the bottom, many endorsements were suspended, and some variety shows and programs that originally planned to invite him had to stop the plans due to the pressure from antis. Even when participating in events, in the final group photo session, he would consciously stand at the furthest position, with some distance from the people next to him, so that he could be cut off later… Faced with such a predicament, as an artist who lived off traffic and popularity, how did he move out of it?

In an interview with “Zhongxin Economic View”, Xiao Zhan used 28 words to describe his state during those few months: “Be serious when working, read when confused, think when alone, sleep when upset.”

This passage was not original by Xiao Zhan. Some would say this is Carnegie’s educational motto, while others would think it was a summary of netizen’s talk. There were many versions, some would be “read when confused, exercise when busy, think when alone”, and “do things when awake, read when confused, sleep when angry, and think when alone”. All these were meant for facing bottleneck periods, trough periods or even the darkest moments of life, career and interpersonal relationships. People should look inward, through learning, exercising, thinking and even sleeping, to return to their original intentions and remember why they set out in the first place, think about could be like at its worst, and then find the answer from the wisdom of predecessors.

This was just like a charging and restarting process. Let the mind quieten down, let the emotions soothe and relax, broaden the vision and landscape. The body was at the lowest, but the spirit would reach the peak, becoming strong and tolerant. Looking back, these previous troubles, hurtful people and past incidents, what could there be that could not be surpassed?

Xiao Zhan made the right choice after 227: he rarely spoke out, because he knew that everything he said would be wrong and would attract overwhelming abuse; he personally disbanded his fan support club, asking everyone to study hard and work hard; he temporarily set aside his work, but I believed he did not stop reading and thinking. Even after the legendary “8 Seconds of Red Sea” in Tencent Star Night in December 2020, he still insisted on staying low-key, and his gaze had changed visibly: some people would say that he was physically weak, so he went to the gym to do weight lifting and developed lovely muscles; some people would say that he did not use his own voice in acting, so he went to act in theaters, using the down-to-earth stage to hone his acting skills, hone his line skills, and learn from outstanding predecessors and peers.

The cyber terrorism then now made him a success instead. Time and time again data showing he was “massively ahead”, staying miles ahead in all kinds of rankings, making it hard for “antis” to continue their actions. 227 is about to celebrate its third anniversary, but his fans are more rational and have a wider age distribution and among them are many talented people who have personally written articles and videos to promote their idol to the world.

In the period where traffic stars are falling from grace one by one, where the Central Media criticizes the phenomenon of “desperate illiteracy”, Xiao Zhan, who has received a formal and complete university education, who knows how to use the 28 words to get through the trough period, defines himself as an “actor”, leading his fans to pursue positive energy, is especially precious. And the story of him moving out of the trough period should inspire more people.

3 days have passed since the winter solstice in 2022. When I wake up every night during these 3 days, I looked at the flickering lights outside the window, and I would still be thinking that I was sitting in Baoli Theater in a daze. There was no one else around, only the shining Patient No. 5 on the stage, and me in the corner of the stage watching him devotedly.

Yes, I met Xiao Zhan, the person I wanted to see with all my heart, and whom I cherished as a treasure and loved deeply for 3 years. No, to be precise, what I saw was 8 hours of Patient No. 5 and 3 minutes of Xiao Zhan. As I said before, why I still couldn’t see clearly when I saw him so close, besides the glow all over his body, it was also because that’s not Xiao Zhan, even though he had the same face and tall and thin figure, but he has completely entered the body of Patient No. 5, it was a patient with a long-term fever, with a pale face, a slightly sweaty forehead, and a slightly hunched back that was tortured by illness and impermanence. He had the sense of exhaustion that he had to stop for a rest after walking a few steps… It was such a man also brought me into the dream. During the 8 hours of watching the play, I followed him to experience all the joys and sorrows, as if I had exhausted all my strength. I still haven’t woken up from this dream…

Before entering the dream

Surreal was my biggest sensation. Starting from snatching tickets, I spent ten days in a trance even before entering the dream. Everyone knew the special nature of “A Dream Like A Dream” this time, on the day of ticket snatching, I was still running a fever, but I knew this would be my biggest chance, so I had to do it. I didn’t even pay attention to the date after the snatching, but I felt that it would be safer for me to recover my health if it were the later shows. I received a text message after payment, and I dropped my phone and went to sleep. During the ten days of recuperation, I lay in bed and thought a lot. I was prepared not to watch it if I didn’t test negative. As a Xiaofeixia, I have to be worthy of my idol and audience. I was also prepared for temporarily change actors in case I could not see Xiao Zhan. I thought, even if I couldn’t see him, I was still sitting in the theater where he had performed, and that was a great comfort to me.

Days past in a hurry and finally arrived on the 22nd, everything was fated to be the best arrangement, my ART had turned negative. After getting up in the morning, I dressed up, made an appointment with the hairdresser to have my hair done, and then carried my dreamy sea blue bag (at that time, I made an appointment with 4 other XiaoFeixia sisters to carry it together to watch ADLAD in Beijing, but none of them could come. I must maintain this sense of ritual for them). Went straight to the Baoli Theater, collected tickets, passed security checks, queued up for ticket inspection, and entered… until I sat in my seat, I still feel unreal, am I really going to see Xiao Zhan? Will Patient No. 5 not be him after the opening? It was funny in my recollection, this was the uneasiness and nervousness that I never had in the past, how much do I love this boy? “Welcome to Yanghua’s performance of ‘A Dream Like a Dream’. Today’s performance is about 8 hours long…” Xiao Zhan’s clear and soft voice seemed to have the magic power of calming people’s hearts. The whole theater became quiet, and my heart also slowly calmed down, I thought, I am really going to enter the dream.

Like a dream, entering the dream

ADLAD’s opening, “Traveler Music” sounded, the performers walked onto the stage from all directions, and walked around the lotus pond. They seemed to have come to a strange place at the beginning, and the walking speed was very slow. More and more people joined, one or two of them began to rush, and then everyone seemed to be in a hurry, the whole team became more and more anxious, some people started running, I only saw Xiao Zhan in the running crowd, I was really stupid come to think of it. I always thought that he should be wearing the caramel-colored jacket of the curtain call at the beginning, therefore I didn’t pick up the binoculars, because I thought he was not in the crowd at the beginning. But when he ran, I saw his long legs at a glance, and I locked on the target almost instantly. This perfect body proportion, he was wearing the most ordinary clothes, but he was still handsome and stylish. He seemed to be thinner again, he was obviously very buffed during the live broadcast previously. This was the self-cultivation of a professional actor, and he adjusted to the most suitable state for the role in the shortest time. Wasn’t this what we are most proud of because he respects the audience and loves the stage? Everyone stopped, and he stood facing the audiences. From my binoculars, I could clearly see his facial features. The face that stirs my soul, was more pronounced and smaller than the one on the screen. The skin was delicate and firm, flawless, the bridge of the nose is straight like that of a sculpture, the eyes are full of stories, the end of the eyes is slightly red, maybe he was already very involved during the rehearsal…

Ding ding… A string of bell rings from the elderly Gu Xianglan pulled me back to the stage. I felt ashamed for a moment. I came to see theater actor Xiao Zhan. I should appreciate his performance with the most pious heart, why was I addicted to his appearance? I gathered my thoughts and returned to the plot, and the performers began to introduce Zhuang Rumeng’s story. “It is said that in the state of Qi at the end of the Warring States period, there was a poet named Zhuang Heng. It was a chaotic world full of violence, and Qin, which was located in the west, swallowed up neighboring countries step by step…” At this time, Xiao Zhan’s voice is different from the opening announcements, and while it was also an articulate introduction, this voice was telling the story. He has finished telling his lines among all the performers, and naturally integrated himself into the play. In this stage. I didn’t know much about the relationship between Zhuang Rumeng’s story and this play before, but after watching the play, I understood that this story led to the theme of this play – life is like a dream, perhaps life may be a dream that is difficult to wake up from, you could not judge whether the environment you are in is reality or a dream, perhaps real life is far more absurd than a dream. This feeling between dreams and reality runs throughout the whole play, and also runs throughout the past and present lives of Patient No. 5 and Gu Xianglan.

The second scene where Patient No. 5B (Xiao Zhan) appeared was against the background of Patient No. 5A telling the story about a shepherd, which is very similar to Patient No. 5’s own story, but the difference is that, to the shepherd, the tragedy of the separation of his wife and children was a dream, but to Patient No. 5, it was an unavoidable reality. Perhaps in Patient No. 5’s heart, he hoped that his fate will be the same as that of the shepherd, that all the experiences were just a dream, and after waking up from the dream, he would still have a happy and stable life. In this narration, Patient No. 5B and his wife walked around the stage across the lotus pond. His expression was calm and normal, just like his normal life track at that time.

After Patient No. 5A finally told his story, Patient No. 5B walked next to his wife. He had met his wife, and he was finally pushed by fate to change his life… In this scene, Xiao Zhan’s performance is fully relaxed and fluid with ease. The most impressive points: 1st, the sense of faith without physical props, he would slow down when holding sushi with chopsticks for fear of dropping, the expression of rushing to swallow down after being choked by wasabi, and even added the action of pounding his thigh to help ease the choking sensation. The clumsy and cuteness pretending to be a father holding a baby doll, these movements were so harmonious and natural, that while you know he was acting without physical props, he managed to make you believe that those things were in front of you. 2nd is that I saw through Patient No. 5’s personality with his performance. He was gentle, elegant, humorous, and this was probably why his wife chose him after her previous relationship ended. But at the same time, he was also kind, restrained, forbearing and helpless, such as when his child was incurably ill and his wife broke down yelling at the doctor, he endured his anxiety while comforting his wife and begged the doctor. The moment he knelt in front of the doctor, I saw a man’s deep sense of helplessness. After the child passed away, he also started to fall sick and had a fever. He became a burden to his wife and they became strangers with nothing to say to each other. Then he often received strange phone calls in the middle of the night. He knew it was for his wife, but the most ruthless thing he ever said on the phone was, “The phone bill is yours. I have a lot of time, so I will fight with you!” Everyone is very familiar with the “Pick up!” To me, it was not an emotional outburst, it was just that his eyes are shaded and his voice was higher than usual, but he is still trying his best to control and maintain his demeanor. Including the sentence “She bought grilled corn over there just now!” It is also slightly different from what I saw in the previously recorded versions. It was less cry of breaking down, and more confusion and sorrow. This may be what he meant when he said his time gap had widened, and he could make some adjustments that were more in line with the character’s personality in a deeper performance. 3rd was the control of the voice. Patient No. 5 is from Taipei, and he could easily bring people into the plot with his Mandarin with a Taiwanese accent, especially when he was speaking a lot of lines, the ending sound always made me feel that this was a gentle and elegant Taiwanese man. Even this time he had a slightly nasal voice, which is more suitable for the sick Patient No. 5. I could not describe his eyebrows and eyes now, but his voice will always echo clearly in my mind, the voice of the limited edition Patient No. 5.

After seeking medical treatment to in vain, Patient No. 5 chose to travel. He planned to experience the world in his limited life, so he came to Paris, met Jiang Hong, and had a relationship with her and had a period of sweet and happy times, my mood was also joyful and relaxed. If I could always be seated in the theater and in the dream then I hope my Patient No. 5 could continue to be happy like this. The presentation of this part of his acting skill was more intuitive with the audience’s reaction. For example, he finally understood the word “coffee” in French, and happily gestured with his hands. For example, he deliberately changed the Chinese intonation, thinking that it would turn into French to be understood. For example, when he cupped his cheeks obediently in a kawaii movement, he absolutely melted out hearts, waves of laughter came from the audience, and when he exclaimed as he and Jiang Hong hugged each other on the bed, it made me believe that the theater is an art form that resonates strongly with the audience, where every audience is also a participant, their applause, laughter, breath, heartbeat gave the actors affirmation and appreciation. I think, Zhan must love this kind of stage very much, as a performer, with timely feedback to him, with audiences who understood him, this kind of happiness cannot be experienced by other forms of performance.

In order to find the cause of the illness, Jiang Hong took Patient No. 5 to meet a gypsy. The gypsy told him that the mystery in his life must be solved using other mysteries, pointing to the lake where he can “see himself”, and Castle Duchamp. He and Jiang Hong came to Normandy, stayed in the castle, and were mistaken as Japanese. This performance made me feel Xiao Zhan’s language talent even further. He had a lot of lines mixed with Japanese and Chinese, but he spoke so fluently and funnily, almost every scene the audience would laugh along with him. I thought to myself, would he say every of his lines exactly the same every performance? There was no Japanese pronunciation in the script, so will such a natural and funny performance also include improvisation on the premise of memorizing the lines? A good theater actor, as he himself said, must be a tightly screwed screw, but he would naturally incorporate some characteristics into this tight link, so this was Xiao Zhan’s unique Patient No. 5.

There are two details in this story that I remember deeply. One was that on the journey to the castle, they met a beggar. The street was full of people in a hurry, and only Patient No. 5 stopped to give the beggar some cash. He was a terminally ill man who has lost his wife and children, but the kindness in his heart still allowed him to help the weak. I watched him put down the cash, and my eyes quickly filled with tears. The second was the question about the injustice of fate, “everything changed since a disease I didn’t know came to me one day. I had no choice! Did I know this germ? Why did it come to me? Me? I don’t know. But it’s here!” At that moment, I felt sorry for Patient No. 5, but at the same time I was also glad that he was just the Patient No. 5 in my dream.

In the lake where he could see himself, he saw his previous reincarnation—the Baron, and an oil painting in the castle. In the painting, there was a French man and a Chinese woman. This man was the Baron. The steward of the castle told him that the woman in the painting is still in Shanghai, so Patient No. 5 broke up with Jiang Hong and went to Shanghai alone to find the mystery in his life. After searching several times, he found the person in the painting, the old Gu Xianglan. The next story revolves around Gu Xianglan’s life.

Regarding the lower half, it was also a wonderful performance, which was worth everyone sitting in the lotus pond to enjoy. Xu Qing was so charming, her skin was pure like snow, and her acting skills were exquisite. She shed tears in a second, especially when she bid farewell to Tianxian Court and in preparation to go to France. Under the huge light and shadow of rose petals, she walked towards a new life step by step, her figure was so breathtakingly beautiful. There were also Kong Wei and Hu Huizhong, being able to act with these veteran actors on the same stage and yet be not inferior at all, my Xiao Zhan really makes me very proud!

In the lower half, I sat in a better position in the lotus pond, less than 3 meters away from the hospital bed of Patient No. 5. When I entered, he was already lying there, covered with a blanket, curled in a small ball, and I sat quietly watching him for a few minutes. I can’t hear the breathing sound from the meditation that Doctor Xiaomei gave him. The noise and people coming and going around me had nothing to do with me. I only had him in my eyes. That was the happiest time I have ever had.

The Patient No. 5B at the beginning of the lower half was the narrator. After he woke up from his sleep, he began to tell Doctor Xiaomei the story of looking for Gu Xianglan. This narration is carried out alternately with Patient No. 5A on the other side of the stage and the elderly Gu Xianglan’s performance. I really couldn’t give up this opportunity to watch Xiao Zhan up close, so I stared at his face the whole time, and it was precisely because I kept watching Xiao Zhan, that I saw his rigor and reverence for the performance, even if the light is not on his side, he did not slack off at all, and still cooperated with the performances of the other two actors by adding changes in his eyes and subtle expressions. He was portraying a person’s reaction in memory, as well as the respect for the performers on the other side of the stage.

After Gu Xianglan’s life was over, Patient No. 5 was about to usher in the end of his life. He continued on his journey and came to Jiang Hong’s small apartment, where he found the letter Jiang Hong left for him, “Hi, man with a fever”, he knelt there, his knuckles twisted and was slightly whitish because he wanted to hold the letter tighter, my vision was blurred by tears, but I still felt his sadness in my blurred vision, the end of his eyes were red, tears gradually filled his eyes, the thick sadness submersed  around him, and he was keeping it in while performing, this way of acting was even more touching.

The celebration for the new millennium had begun, and the crowd was cheering to throw away the diseases, wars, and misfortunes of the old century, the bell for the future rang, and Patient No. 5 looked at the end of his life alone, the blessings for the new millennium did not belong to him, there were resistance, doubt, enlightenment, and finally relief in his eyes… Xiao Zhan accurately depicted that sense of loneliness, which was in stark contrast to the celebrating crowd around him. At the last moment of his life, Patient No. 5 was still the kind person in his soul, “I only now know that this world, our bodies, were built brick by brick by ourselves, we are our own architects, we build ourselves house.” With his last strength, he inhaled in the pain of Doctor Xiaomei and exhaled the few joys in his life…

Has anyone been to this place? Has anyone seen my face? I think I remember, I think I forgot, you used to wander in my dreams; I think I remember, I think I forget, I was, in your dreams, singing; I think I remember, I think I forgot…

The ethereal singing reminded me that this dream was coming to an end. I looked at him greedily, wanting to engrave his appearance and voice in my mind forever. We will meet again in the future, but maybe it won’t be Patient No. 5, so let me watch for one more second, listen for one more minute, let me remember this memory deeper and longer…

Awakening from the dream

At the curtain call, in order to keep this 3-minute video, I didn’t give my No. 5 the warmest applause, which would be my regret. When I walked out of the theater, there were many fans around the actor’s exit. They were waiting to send their idols off work. I stopped and looked at it, then turned and walked out of the crowd. Dear Xiao Zhan, thank you for taking me to have the most beautiful dream. The distance between actors and audience is the distance between us. Let me look forward to meeting you next time in the most suitable place and on the most public occasion.

Side notes for this performance

The 10th anniversary performance of “A Dream Like A Dream” is destined to be recorded in history. In the past few days, I have seen many reports about the revival of the arts at the end of the year, and almost every article mentioned ADLAD. In such a year with major pandemic, while people were fighting against the virus, the resumption of work and production in the cultural industry had also given people a boost.

To be honest, the sound of coughing in the theater will be one of my unforgettable memories. But when I saw some actors still had a nasal voice after recovering from illness, and even coughed without relying on acting, I was full of respect and admiration for them from the bottom of my heart, and of course this included my favorite Xiao Zhan. Perhaps those performing on stage were also or had been sick, but they brought the confidence and strength to overcome the pain to this group of sick or recovering people in the audience.

“Then, I would sometimes feel that it was very tiring, and wanted to relax a bit, but then there would be two persons in me arguing with each other, one would say cannot, cannot; another would say relax a bit, it’s so tiring, there’s no harm in relaxing a bit, just take it as it comes.”

Now that one that tells him to “take it as it comes, rest a bit” no longer exists, Xiao Zhan said calmly from the other end of the telephone.

“You really don’t feel that it’s too tiring?” Upon hearing his strict expectations on himself, Yuli could not help but ask.

“I feel tired, but I’d rather be tired.”

01

That day, my grandma laughed as she said to me, “Dr. Gu, I’m having a headache, take a look and help me.” When speaking of his interactions with his family while watching the drama, Xiao Zhan would keep laughing as well, during the airing period of “The Oath of Love”, there were plenty of such warm moments.

“The Oath of Love” was the first officially announced project after the new phase of Xiao Zhan’s life began, from period drama to contemporary drama, he himself was also not so confident. The day when he met chief producer Wu Tiandan and director Lü Ying, Xiao Zhan’s first question was, “Why me?”

Then, Xiao Zhan was still filming “Douluo Continent” in Xiangshan, in his trailer, the 3 of them discussed the script and the role of Gu Wei from “The Oath of Love” for the first time, “Firstly, I don’t think that Gu Wei’s role is a common trope of a cold and dominant doctor, I feel that he should not be crafted with such an image.” Xiao Zhan attempted to speak his mind.

The result was that the 3 of them had an immediate common understanding of Gu Wei, and that was the moment that Xiao Zhan’s confidence in a contemporary drama and portrayal of Gu Wei was established.

During the script reading, Xiao Zhan realized that Gu Wei’s sense of distance and aloofness came from his environment growing up and his career, the role’s growth and logic comes from his life rhythm, “He is a living person, a man who would appear next to us.”

From the text in the script, Xiao Zhan saw the vividness and warmth in Gu Wei. Coincidentally, Wu Tiandan and Lü Ying also saw the same warmth and possibility in Xiao Zhan.

Although he had recognition and confidence, when he started filming, Xiao Zhan was still not accustomed. Then, he had just completed filming “Douluo Continent” as the male lead, and was also doing the promotion for another period drama, although he wanted to quickly blend into the new role, but he still needed to slowly search for the correct condition.

Many of Lü Ying’s works were delicate in emotions and detailed in foundation, under the cover of youth and idol dramas, there were many expressions of realistic and down-to-earth emotions, hence during the process of filming, the director was very mindful on the control of details.

“During the filming, the director would do takes over and over again to adjust. Towards the end, I myself would be uncertain as to whether I had done any mistakes in my portrayal, but the director would not tell you where the problem lies, he would just say a feeling, and then do it over again.”

It was just these grinding takes over and over again, bit by bit of adjustments. Finally when reviewing the scene in the monitor, Xiao Zhan’s uncertainty during the filming would be resolved, actually, the feeling that the director was talking about, was actually a type of subtle change.

The subtlety could be down to the gaze of Gu Wei looking at Lin Zhixiao, the action of opening a door, the director would also tell Xiao Zhan, “Zhanzhan, have more sorrow in your eyes.” Xiao Zhan would also have some uncertainty, but would still say, “Alright, we can do it again.”

Everyone had a different interpretation on the role, the work and the script, the director was the overall controller, “I feel that actors just need to do their best to adjust themselves, to complete their role.”

02

The role of Gu Wei was not considered as particularly difficult to Xiao Zhan, but he was more mindful of how to portray it such that the audiences would believe it.

The scene where his teacher had passed away influenced Gu Wei a lot, that represented why Gu Wei became an enclosed person, it was the crux of the entire character, but the script described this segment very simply, just some lines and some description of Gu Wei in a trance, probably just 0.1 page long.

Although the volume is small, but this was an important scene for Xiao Zhan, before they filmed the scene, he continuously discussed with Lü Ying, about whether Gu Wei should try to resuscitate his teacher, and what kind of character status would be suitable when he sat before his teacher’s bed, from the text in the script, to the imagery during filming, requires the cooperative work from the scriptwriter, actor and director.

Like the warm and relaxed atmosphere the drama gives the audiences, the atmosphere in the set was also influenced by the content, when meeting Yang Zi for the first time on set, Xiao Zhan, the director and producer jokingly greeted her: “Good day Yang Laoshi (TN: Laoshi could mean teacher).”  Xiao Zhan remembered that Yang Zi was especially funny as she said. “I guess I’m teaching you language, or teaching you mathematics, all of you are calling me teacher?”

“Then I thought that this person was quite interesting.” Xiao Zhan reminisced.

Later on, when all of the crew and actors were familiar with one another, both of them began their “self-complaining” modus operandi, and started talking about those tropes from older idol dramas that had become GIFs, and everyone would remind one another jokingly “please don’t film as such”.

The “little drama time” liked by audiences originally had “grand props”, “Initially, the producer, scriptwriter and director said fervently, Zhanzhan, Zizi, this little drama time needs dreamy lighting, all kinds of camera angles, romantic scenes.” Both the actors were looking forward to them.

In the end, they could not make the lighting, there were problems on set, until one day, Wu Tianxu gave Xiao Zhan and Yang Zi a mobile phone each, and the script outline and lines prompt, “The both of you do it, film it yourself.” In the end what the audiences saw were just two of them filming each other using mobile phones, it was all natural lighting on their faces, but it was because such coincidences, allowed the audiences to see the sweetness between Gu Wei and Lin Zhixiao.

Xiao Zhan had the habit of taking photographs as and when, liked to record his life, but yet he did not often show them, before the airing of “The Oath of Love”, he casually flipped to the photographs then, and some memories came before his eyes again, “I guess that building would have completed restoration, and little calico is probably plump too.”

The little calico cat was a chance encounter in a cafe from the filming area during filming, that day when the filming ended, Xiao Zhan went downstairs, and met it at the cafe on the first floor, the door to the cafe was closed, the little calico cat was just before the window, “I couldn’t resist to tease it, I went left it went left, I went right it went right, I teased it, it meowed, I just felt that it was so affectionate, so cute.”

In the moments of remembering these valued memories, Xiao Zhan exclaimed, “Time flies really fast, it’s almost 3 years, looking back there were many things, actually people and circumstances, were all having major changes.”

The little calico cat photographed by Xiao Zhan

03

Such changes were of course happening on Xiao Zhan himself, now when he reviewed his performance in 2019, he would always use a self-criticizing angle.

“In my heart, in these 2 years I had a better concept on performance, such as the improvement in lines, I would analyze the psychological status of the character in a scene, when speaking the line to my partner, I would also be clearer on the meanings hidden within the lines.” Every actor would have a deeper understanding of their profession as time progresses.

There were long passages of narration in Gu Wei’s lines, the contents were even mixed with a lot of professional jargon, even if it was performed by the Xiao Zhan of today, it would also be a very difficult thing, “To say such lines like they were something that were said 100 times a day, is actually very difficult.”

“But difficulty does not mean you cannot do it well, this is something I’ve always believed.” Xiao Zhan continued immediately.

Of course, he also had a lot of habits he always maintained, such as before the start of filming, Xiao Zhan would always like to arrive on set beforehand, to get accustomed to every detail in the environment, and finally squat in a corner to observe and experience the space, to an actor, when they enter a space for the first time, they would need to display the familiarity of being in that space for many years or even decades, Xiao Zhan used this method to accustom himself.

If we were to really let the current Xiao Zhan to act as Gu Wei, perhaps there would be a lot of improvements, but there would possibly be a lot of flaws in crucial and core points, as a actor would use his senses and techniques to manage some performances, but the emotions and inspiration at the then moment might be lost.

In “The Oath of Love” that we see currently, we can see the sincerity and emotions when Xiao Zhan was performing then.

Just like he would envy the love between Gu Wei and Lin Zhixiao, “Actually my views on love are similar to Gu Wei, we’re both more traditional, and we would devote ourselves.” But as to the future family, he had not thought of this step which is so far away in the future, “But happiness would be top priority, stable happiness is more suitable for me.”

Having this kind of thoughts probably came from some kind of similarity, the Gu Wei in the drama always placed his job at the forefront, when meeting his love, he would not directly speak everything, there would be a lot of probing hidden in his words, most of the time he would be in an ambiguous status, a lot of thoughts in his mind, as though he knew everything, but yet he would be playing the fool, and be a bit devious once in a while.

This kind of status would be most familiar to Xiao Zhan, many times, at least about work, his choice would be the same as Gu Wei — endlessly being strict on himself, placing work at the forefront.

Xiao Zhan could feel tired, but he said, he would rather be tired, “Feeling tired comes from having places for improvement, when the public is still focusing on you, you can go forward. This kind of tired is a good thing to me. If there is really one day, everyone tells you that you don’t matter, you can do whatever you want, then I probably need to do some self reflection (laugh).”

When one think of that, what is wrong with being a little tired? If time could reverse back to 2019, Xiao Zhan still wanted to tell himself, “It might be better to not relax.”

Top #1 of viewership and popularity, the persistent “Gu Yiye” takes the audiences

To gauge if a television drama is popular, the ratings is the most direct tool, “Ace Troops” started airing on Jiangsu TV on 26 Dec, and the viewership was consistently high throughout, continuously being on top of the ratings, with the highest at 3.560% (on CSM 63 Cities), the highest of all dramas airing at the same slot.

In the streaming platforms where young adults are the main audience, this drama displayed the effect at the level of explosive popularity even, shooting to the Top 1 spot in the Vlinkage television ratings, and broke 9,000 heat rating within iQiyi platform. 

To be able to receive such an excellent results in viewership, naturally a portion of it comes from the drama’s portrayal of the team spirit of the army, the positive energy from the strive for progress and the realistic depiction of the scenes. These deep meanings were able to influence youths in reaffirming their faith in their country, taking on the responsibility with passion in their hearts, and receiving affirmation from mainstream media such as “People’s Daily” and “Guang Ming Daily”. In the article from “Guang Ming Daily”, “Ace Troops” wrote a “a new era’s song of praises for boosting the army”, the Southern District Battle Zone also posted a “Gu Yiye highlights video” exclusively on its official Weibo. 

People’s Daily – “Ace Troops” receives good reviews from its first airing, audiences spam their likes for “the most hot blooded military drama”. Guang Ming Daily – TV Drama “Ace Troops” writes a new song in praises for boosting the army The growth of the youth and their emotions for the country, “Ace Troops” portrays realistic character 

[Exclusive first look! “Gu Yiye” calls you to join the army] Today, the first airing of popular drama “Ace Troops” ends in fruition, “Gu Yiye” who grew from the Southern Army gives his true feelings via Southern BattleZone. People’s army comes from people for the people, the blazing army camp awaits your participation!

As one of the main leads for “Ace Troops”, it could be said that Xiao Zhan perfectly embodied “Gu Yiye” as the entire drama’s spiritual character, the actor and the role mutually complemented each other. Hence, let us analyze why Gu Yiye was so well loved by audiences.

Firstly, based on the character of Gu Yiye, we could see that he was very complex and dynamic, a standout character within the drama. He came from a military family, he was proud and polite in his everyday life, with firm theoretical foundations in his profession, brave and tactical, and gains respect with his “intelligence”, and most importantly, when he first appeared he was full of ambition, foresight. In order to realize his goal to serve the people, he was willing to go through hardship and tribulations in the army, his persistence and never-give-up spirit influenced audiences.

Secondly, the growth in Gu Yiye also bestowed a strong dramatic power, from inexperienced, ambitious, to experiencing the tribulations of life, sacrificing his love in order to take care of his platoon leader’s widow and child, he also learned to take on burdens, and became more sturdy, calm, which increased the charm of the character even more.

Although this is the first military drama character for Xiao Zhan, his compatibility with Gu Yiye gave all the audiences a pleasant surprise, his warm and gentle, steady and clear temperament allowed him to create this unique image of a soldier with his soul, and unsurprisingly received all round praises from people in and out of the industry. Actor Zhang Zhijian, who portrayed Gu Yiye’s father, posted on Weibo and encouraged him, “No matter a hero or a winner, you are always the pride of the Gu family”, whereas director Liu Yan commented on Xiao Zhan during an interview, “He had respect for the drama and role, he had his own unique thoughts and understanding, and therefore he could create a character with flesh and blood.”

In addition, the popularity of the role and influence was visible on all major social media platforms, the related topics to the drama became a common sight in Douyin’s hot search list, suddenly, all major fire safety official Douyin accounts were participating in the topic “Ace Troops Button Up Challenge”, the activity “Wear a Red Dress for Gu Yiye” even broke through circles and evoked heated participation all over the internet.

Not just “physically” but also “mentally”, then there will be precise characterization

The vividness of the character and the charm of the actual personality, a lot of them came from the actor’s pursuit for excellence, with layers and layers of crafting and analysis, Xiao Zhan was able to completely present the layers of complexity on Gu Yiye, and the precision on degree of continuous growth of the character, it was obvious that he devoted a lot of effort and homework on this character.

“Physically”, in order to accurately present the temperament of a soldier, Xiao Zhan entered the project for military training before filming started, and never forgot to keep his straight posture and steadfast gaze throughout the drama, working hard to stay close to the image of a soldier in real life.

Of course, while being close “physically”, there was a need to be close “mentally” as well. At the end of the drama’s airing, Xiao Zhan posted his thoughts via Weibo, and expressed his “sense of empathy” with Gu Yiye for a long period of time, he exclaimed, “The you in front of me is like a giant mountain, no matter how the storm blows, you would be unwavering. It felt like all the turbulence and storms would only become the fertilizers for the ‘old pines and green cedar’ on the hill tops,” and only with such a character, that Gu Yiye was able to “become even more steadfast and full of energy when faced with every adversity.” It was precisely such thorough analysis that allowed Xiao Zhan to complete the character with flesh and blood, full of spirit, and gave a piece of work that satisfied both fans and audiences. 

At the same time, because of the unique “scholarly temperament” of Gu Yiye, it meant that he would not be an in-your-face or unrestrained archetype, Xiao Zhan spent a lot of effort in conveying the inner strength and inner thoughts of the character, every phrase, every gaze and every movement were all full of soul, the excellent control of emotions and detail, allowed the audiences to easily empathize throughout the drama viewing. In the drama, it could be said that there was a lot of memorable acting “highlights”. 

And, during his lockdown, the scene where he had a “hypothetical conversation” with his father, Gu Yiye was softly humming a song, his gaze steady as he recalled the teachings from his father, and decided that he would do “the right thing”, Xiao Zhan handled this difficult scene easily with “micro expressions” and “gaze control”, and instantly presented a clear headed soldier with ambition on screen.

Xiao Zhan was also commendable in controlling and conveying the character’s emotions for the heavy scenes. Upon hearing the news of his platoon leader’s sacrifice, at the start he was unwilling to believe, and raged that the doctor was a liar, to when realizing that he had lost his comrade in arms forever, broke down in tears, encompassing his deep guilt towards his platoon leader and the accusations of the cruelty of war, he conveyed the real sensation exquisitely, and was able to make the viewers feel for them in spite of themselves.

From a young actor to a national actor, acting skills is his foundation

In 2019, Wei Wuxian from “The Untamed” appeared suddenly, and actor Xiao Zhan came into audiences’ view, after which the proud and faithful Ji Chong from “The Wolf”, the pure minded Tang San from “Douluo Continent”, all witnessed an actor exploring endlessly, from inexperience to maturity, and within this process, Xiao Zhan’s growth and improvement was evident in the roles he had presented.

To him, “Ace Troops” was a choice totally out of his comfort zone, from period fantasy to contemporary genre, soldier Gu Yiye was refreshing, and totally broke through the general audiences’ perception of him, and also displayed Xiao Zhan’s strong creation capabilities in his performance, once again proving that he is an actor with unlimited potential and endless possibilities, and he would be at ease in dramas of different genres. At the same time, the role of Gu Yiye was also able to to expand his influence from the youth, to every age range, and even broader spectrum of audiences.

These types of transformation in Xiao Zhan, came from his focus in drawing the essence from life details and experiences, and also came from his endless study in acting, just like his words during interviews, he had always kept to an attitude of “truthful” performance, and also endlessly learning how to convey 100% of his sensation to the audience, “you cannot simply just have passion, when you feel that emotions have reached 100%, but the audiences can only feel 50%, how do you express the rest of the 50%?”

As such, he chose to accumulate himself, and walked into theater to participate in executive producer Lai Shengchuan’s play “A Dream Like A Dream”, staying down-to-earth and training his professional abilities, trying more possibilities for himself as an actor.

Off the screen and stage,  Xiao Zhan continues to be understated in his daily life, humble and polite, clear minded and self aware, sincere and bright, using his roles and actions to guide his fans. In 2021, he became the Asian Games Dream Ambassador; In 2022 he became the Beijing Winter Olympics Ice Hockey National Stadium Winter Dream Promotion Ambassador, and Ice Hockey Sport Promotion Ambassador as a part of “The Promise of Winter Dream”, calling for the entire nation to follow the ice hockey sport, conveying positive energy constantly.

Worthy mentions for the 2 dramas currently awaiting broadcast on Xiao Zhan’s hands, “The Oath of Love” and “The Longest Promise”, 1 contemporary and 1 period, with totally different styles. Based on the available materials on these two characters, they are also not one dimensional, they are layered with depth, and from this we can see that Xiao Zhan’s acting range starts to become more varied as time goes on, with the ability to take on different types of roles with ease, and there will always be an unexpected new point of view every time he appears on screen.

In this era of fragmentation, it has become harder and harder to capture and focus audiences’ attention, everyone also have more and more strict expectations of artists, whereas Xiao Zhan, as a young actor with massive fan influence, is using his capabilities to convert his influence to positive energy, completing his metamorphosis from a niche artist to an actor with high national recognition.