_MAD HATTER_

힙합하다 - Rap Monster (Pt. 1 of 3)

I was born in 1994 and lived in Seoul until I was 4. my mother and father came to Seoul without any footholds, and after suffering for a while, they wanted to settle down and when I was 4 we ended up moving to Ilsan. therefore, our family’s main house is still in Ilsan. since I was young, my character was more drawn to the humanities, so rather than science and math, I had more interest in society, English, languages, and culture. since I was in elementary school, I had a very strong will to write compelling pieces. compared to my peers, I read a lot, and in particular I read a lot of classical literature and biographies. I asked my mom to buy them for me, and I remember buying a full collection of around 100 books. these days I read the books that are hot at the moment, but being able to acquire them is very different, so I’ve been unexpectedly feeling like I should read the classics again.

until music established itself as part of my life, I did nothing but study and play computer games. if only I hadn’t played computer games, it seems like I’d be doing something completely different. it was basically a life of nourishment. my mother and father raised me well, so I didn’t know what it meant to be lost. I fought with my mom a lot about doing music, but now I’m doing it respectably so of course she likes it. when I was young, I did a lot of things that could be seen as pedantic. I often received awards for my poetry and writing. I sincerely considered going into literary studies. but there were a lot of people doing that. I don’t like living a risky life. so I just studied hard, and fortunately I was able to continuously achieve 1st or 2nd place, so I thought about whether to go into business administration or literary studies.

it’s closed now, but there used to be a community where amateur rookies could meet. if you leveled up there they gave you gift certificates, and when I was in my 4th or 5th year of elementary school I was playing a lot of games and really wanted to get that gift certificate. (laugh) at the time I received a kind of acknowledgement there. I wrote poetry in a diamond shape. to be honest, if I think about it, it wasn’t even really poetry, it was just that I creased it into a diamond shape. (laugh) if you were selected as ‘this month’s best poem’ three times, then you became a ‘green poet,’ and I received acknowledgement by becoming a green poet on that site. if you became a green poet, you got a separate board to post on. if you had your own board, then the views were definitely higher. for a year, I wrote poetry and then became a green poet. I wonder if it wasn’t when that poetry met music that my writings became lyrics instead.

in 2006, Epik High hyungdeul came out with “Fly” and won #1 on a music program. of course, before that Tiger JK hyung’s “Good Life” had gotten #1 as well, but this in opposition to the tide, a hip hop song won #1, and the song was really good. their method of rapping was really fresh. I ended up thinking, ‘ah, so people can tell their stories in this way.’ in our class there were some friends who liked rap, but there was one friend who I’d been close with since I was 4 who really liked it. thanks to that friend, I ended up listening to Garion and Outsider, as well as artists like Nas and Jay Z, and it was seriously a shock. I thought, 'so there are people who tell their stories this way, and the telling of those stories can become music.’

there were a lot of things that were vaguely difficult in elementary school. because of a girl I liked, because of final exams, because of the short vacations, because I fought with my mom, etc. etc. no matter how young you are, it’s just as difficult as it is for an adult. I thought that things were really difficult for me, but I felt very strongly that the song “Fly” was giving me comfort. I felt that strength. differently from connotative genres like poetry and ballads, rap is primarily progressive, and I felt a huge strength from that detail. if I had been listening for the sake of the melody until then, from that point on, I started to listen to lyrics.

honestly, at that time, I really liked ballads. it was a time when a cowboy-like singing style was popular, and people who sang seemed so cool. but I really couldn’t sing at all, so I thought if I tried rap, there might be a path for me. in hip hop, the lyrics are written as if one is emptying out their entire soul. our homeroom teacher at the time was very young, so I asked the teacher about it. the teacher introduced me to Eminem, and told me that someone like this had succeeded by telling their own story. even though Eminem’s lyrics weren’t the kind of thing I should have been listening to at that age, they were really cool. so I printed out the lyrics and imitated them every day. even when I took a shower, I imitated them. I took pleasure in following the lyrics and showing them to my friends, and having concerts at our school festivals.

in 2007 I became a 1st year middle schooler and started community activities for the first time. there was a hip hop community that was only for amateurs. I convinced my mom and bought a mic, I wrote lyrics for the first time, and I did my first recording with a program called Cool Edit. a little while ago I looked at the lyrics I wrote during this time and I have absolutely no idea what I was talking about. (laugh) I wrote words then that I don’t even know now. I think maybe I saw it in a book and wrote it. why would a 1st year middle schooler be using words like 'secondary’ (laugh) so I looked it up and found the dictionary definition of the word. I think that I wanted to show these ridiculous songs really coolly. I wanted to become a lyricist like Tablo hyung… Tablo hyung and MC Meta are my role models. at that time I got a considerable spotlight from the amateur community. so I really thought that I’d become something big. (laugh) I did my first concert in 2008. after that, I tried for UMF but I failed, and at that time I realized the fact that my showmanship wasn’t all that spectacular.

in 2009, I auditioned for Big Deal Records. I passed the first round, and in the second round there were 7 people. among the people who auditioned with me at that time were Yammo and Samuel Seo. at the time, the audition task was to do a concert with an artist, and I did mine with Dead'P hyung. but when I went onstage, I forgot all my lyrics… but even so, because I was young, people treated me kindly, at that time, Sleepy hyung came and gave me his phone number. sleep hyung is close with Pdogg hyung who is even now still producing music for BTS. even until that time, my parents’ opposition was still strong, so I decided to set music aside and was determined to focus on studying. I shaved all my hair and decided to spend my golden period by studying. but in May, a phone call came from Sleepy hyung. he asked if I knew someone called Bang Sihyuk, and at that time 'Superstar K’ was popular. he told me 'that person is searching, go try once,’ so I immediately sought him out. even though I’d been determined to focus on studying, I think I wanted to do music as much as ever.

to be continued…