Nursing is the shit. Literally.

When I’m out at the bar after work and I see a coworker walk in

When I’m trying to assess my patient and a family member keeps interrupting to tell me about their extremely minor health issues

When I have to tell my diabetic patient they can’t have whatever they want

When there’s an absolute trainwreck of a patient coming to our unit but I just got a transfer so it’s not my turn

Dealing with that useless doc who doesn’t answer pages, doesn’t put in any orders, and writes notes without seeing patients

When some of that C.Diff poo gets underneath my contact gown

When my post-op patient is still sleeping off their anesthesia and their family is in the room being all rowdy

When I’m on nights and have to wake my patients up for 0400 vitals and labs

Listening to an intern explain to me how to properly take a blood pressure

When my patient has a CT, MRI, ultrasound, X-rays, doppler, and a bronch scheduled (all at 0800).

When I get an admit that’s suspect for Etoh and I ask if they’ve had a drink in the last 24 hours

When the doc is asking me a bunch of history questions on a patient who’s AMS with no family anywhere

When I’m trying to work one of the transport stretchers by myself

My activity level on my first day off after 4 in a row

When I accidentally let slip to the nurse manager that I don’t have any plans on my weekend off

When I’m charge nurse and I have to tell everybody they can’t go out and watch the eclipse.

When I’m shoveling food in my mouth at the nurse’s desk and the CNO walks by