NURSINGBEE

As a child, we all had these fantastic ideas. Dreams of being astronauts and super heros and pilots. When we're little, we believe that the world is a good place of endless possibilities, and we're taught (hopefully) that we can do anything we set our mind to.

Sometimes, as we grow older, that beautiful optimism disappears. The world shows us that it is not always good, and that life is not always easy. And sometimes, in the sad cases, we settle. For people, for jobs, for our homes. 

I don't want to settle. 

There is a person. A person I dream of being - and she is so attainable. I know that if I just learn to work on myself a little more that I can be her. So. Here's a little bit about who and what I want to be when I grow up.

As a nurse.

I want to be great at what I do. Emergency nursing, ICU, geriatrics, whatever I end up doing, I want to be great. Those nurses that know what they're doing. Who are smart, and resourceful and quick on their feet. I want to be smart and knowledgeable - but I don't want that to take the place of my compassion, and my patience, and my caring. I hope I always remember why I got into this career in the first place. I hope I never become that old, tired and bitter nurse who would rather empty a bedpan than lend and ear. 

As a person.

I want to be good to people. I want to be known as somebody who is kind and friendly and who treats people well. I want to be strong. To be seen as somebody who isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in, and who can weather any storm. I don't want to need somebody else to make me feel complete. I want to love myself - inside and out. I don't want to be that girl who lets guys use her to make her feel loved. I need to work on that. And I don't want to be such an open book. Some things really are best left unsaid. I want to be who people seem to think I am - someone with a good head on her shoulders who is organized and driven and intelligent.

I want to be a traveler.

I want to see this world. I want to explore and learn about all the amazing things it has to offer. I really do feel that this world can be a beautiful place if you look for it. And I really do believe that people are good at heart, if you just take some time to understand. I want to go meet new people, see new things, and do exciting things while I have the chance.

I want to be a life-long learner.

I want to be a writer and a reader.

I want to be healthy.

When I was younger I wanted to be a musician. Before that, I wanted to be CSI. Then, I wanted to be a nurse.

This working full time for free for clinical thing blows.