السلام عليكم

There was a season when I waited for so long that hope felt fragile. Doors kept closing, plans kept falling apart, and nothing seemed to settle. I tried harder, searched wider, and questioned myself more than I should have.

And then—Allah gave. Unexpectedly. Generously.

For a while, life felt light. Everything moved fast, and I thought I had finally arrived. But as quickly as it came, that season ended. What I didn’t understand then was that not every blessing is meant to stay forever—some come only to teach, realign, and prepare us for what’s next.

I learned that ease is also a test. That comfort can distract. And that stability doesn’t always mean peace.

Months later, in the quiet of patience and acceptance, Allah opened another door. This time, it was different. Gentler. Closer to home. More aligned with the life I had always prayed for—balance, presence, and room to breathe.

There was no rush. No anxiety. Just a calm knowing.

Sometimes Allah removes what shines too brightly, so we can see what truly matters.

I’m learning now to hold blessings with gratitude, not attachment. To trust that what leaves was never meant to stay. And to believe that what remains is exactly what I need.

Alhamdulillah for the lessons. Alhamdulillah for the pauses.

Slowing down to appreciate the quiet luxuries of life, and the woman I'm becoming. My only competition is the person I was yesterday.

Here's to a version of me that I'm truly proud of.

This year started with challenges I never saw coming. Life felt uncertain, and for a while, I wasn’t sure which direction to take. All I had was the love of my family and a quiet determination to find my way forward.

Instead of letting the noise of the world drown me, I chose silence. In those quiet moments, I reflected, learned, and slowly began to rebuild. Step by step, I worked on myself - patiently, privately, and with faith that better days were ahead.

Now, as the year comes to a close, I’m standing in a place I once only dreamed of. What I’ve gained is more than I ever expected, and it reminds me that growth often happens in the stillness, away from the spotlight ✨

For 7 long months, I felt lost. I applied everywhere - hundreds of jobs, dozens of interviews, but nothing came through. Some called me back, even interviewed me multiple times, and then… silence. I even took a job that I ended up leaving after a day. Nothing felt right.

I started to question myself. Why am I failing? Why isn’t anyone calling me back when I try so hard? I became desperate, willing to take any job, even for less pay, but my heart felt heavy. I regretted leaving my previous job and wondered if I had ruined my chances forever.

Then I paused. I realized that no matter how many applications I sent, it was not mine unless Allah willed it. And so I turned more to Him. Every night, I woke for tahajjud, crying in sujood, asking for guidance. I asked specifically: give me a job where I can provide more for my family, help others, and work without stress. I didn’t specify which company, I didn’t plan the details, I just trusted Him.

SubhanAllah… less than weeks later, He answered!

I went for an interview completely unprepared. Bare-faced, casual, unsure of what to say as i wasn't prepared for this interview. I didn’t expect anything. But the next day, I got an email: a second interview, and then… less than 24 hours later, I got accepted! Not just any job, but one with 50% more pay than my previous salary, flexibility, balance, and peace of mind.

MashaAllah Tabarakallah! 😭

All those rejections, all the disappointments - they were His way of guiding me to this. What I thought were failures were actually blessings in disguise.

This journey reminded me: Rejection is not the end, it’s Allah’s redirection. Every du’a, every tear in prayer, every sujood is heard. Allah’s timing and plan are always better than ours.

THIS POST WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POST BEFORE DECEMBER BECAUSE AS USUAL I SAVED IT AS DRAFT AND TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT POSTING IT! Skrg baru lah nak post haha.

Syukur Alhamdullilah..

Welcome to our mini family, Nur Olivia!

Ive never thought my life would turn out to be this way. Super blessed with everything i have now, and whats more with the one whom ive been loving so much!

Ive never ask for all these, but Alhamdullilah Allah gave me more than what i ever asked for. I still couldn’t believe i am a mother of 2 now. Everything has changed and Insya’Allah everything will goes smoothly.

Its been months since last i update my blog and its been 3 months i gave birth to Olivia, Alhamdullilah. Me and husb still adapting with our daily life of handling 2 kids and we still learning new things each day. Previously when we had Ozil, we only focus with him on our daily life every second but not now anymore. We are still adapting and trying to make things easy. It was also the same as the first time we had Ozil, because we are the first time parents so theres alot of things need to be learn and need to adapt in alot of things. So this time is also the same, we are trying to adapt things but with 2 kids, Insya’Allah it may seems difficult now, but it will be easy for us in the future.

My 10 months apart babies.

3 months has passed, how we managed 2 kids basically taught me that 2 people has to play a part, i mean the husband and wife.

As for me... Husb taking care of Ozil while me with adik Olivia, maybe because she is too tiny so the husb rasa takut sikit nak handle. But giving milk for adik and diapers changing, the husb will also do it. Only mandikan i will do it.

It was chaos for the first few days. Both will cry for milk and the both of us will be super kanchong buat susu, then we will both sit side by side of each other giving susu to our kids haha.

The husb is taking the night shift while i take the morning shift, then both of us taking the afternoon shift together.

Well thats what i meant.. both has to play a part taking care of the kids because if only 1 person who do the part, it gonna be super super tiring.

Alhamdullilah, I’m blessed husband has been helping me all along. Even mama been helping me alot too. But mostly i will do my part because i taknak my mom rasa penat, lagi my mom dah berumur so i dont want her to feel so much tired. Biar aku je yang rasa penat semua, afterall my 2 kids is my responsibilities kan? 

I received alot of same question “Is it tiring?” Indeed yes, it is very very tiring. And what’s more Ozil is still infant! not yet toddler. So Ozil is still at a crawling stage, masih nak belajar jalan, masih nak belajar cakap etc. So it is quite difficult actually. But somehow, honestly i enjoy motherhood. Yes it drives you craaaaazy at some days, it drives you totally insane! but at the end of the day... the love for your kids is always blooming, their smiles that push away all the tiredness. 

I totally enjoy this motherhood. I enjoy bathing them everytime, making milk for them, held them and feed them, the 1 millions kisses every day. I’m treasuring every moment now because they wont be this small forever!😭

And just in a blink of eyes, Ozil already turned 1 uear old last month! Time flies super fast! Rasa macam baru beranak kan dia semalam eh! It has been a wonderful 1 year journey. He brings so much joy in our life, he taught me how to be a mom, he taught me how to be so much patience. Super blessed!

B... it is ok. Biar kita susah sekarang. Biar orang2 ada apa yang kita takda. 1 je b i bersyukur sangat2 apa yang kita ada skrg, i bersyukur sangat yang kita ada 2 anak b. Bukan senang b. Orang yang dah berkahwin, terkial-kial setiap hari cuba untuk nak ada anak, tapi kita Allah beri dengan senang b. Alhamdullilah...

Boleh nampak kan macam mana Allah aturkan rezeki setiap umatnya dengan berbeza-beza care rezeki. Alhamdullilah untuk semuanya.

Thank you sayang, untuk segalanya.🥰

Love you!😘

Happy 2 years of marriage life with you, husband!🥰

2 years married with you with 2 kids soon together, Insya’Allah.

I still fall in love with you each day passed. I still enjoy waking up next to you every morning. Thank you for always making me laugh with your stupid dances even in the middle of the wee hours. Haha

Love you and will never stop loving you till whenever, ayg! Mwah!😘

Thank you for always charging my phone every night before going to bed, thank you for being a super super understanding husband. Thank you for still be the one who prepares Ozil’s stuffs. Thank you for always make sure I have enough sleep/rest. Thank you for everything, B. The list will keep go on and on for thanking you because there’s too much you have done for me. Thank you, ayg!😘❤

 For all the hard times we had together, Alhamdullilah we went through it together strongly. Thank you for always treating me so dearly.🥰

The one who would always wrapped his arms around me even at 3am in the morning, and I will always wake up in his arms. The one who would still kiss me to bed every night, and will still kiss me in the morning.🥰

Alhamdullilah for everything has happened. I’ve never imagine our life would turn out this way, but Alhamdullilah and I believe everything happen for a reason. Rezeki anak selalu ada, and I believe this is one of our rezeki.❤❤

I am trying out new way now, Insya’Allah may Allah ease my affairs this time.

Jikalau ini lah 1 permulaan Allah nak senang kan kita dimasa depan, Insya’Allah b kita akan rasa kesenangan nanti.  Allah dah janji, “Disetiap kesusahan pasti akan ada kesenangan”. Insya’Allah ayg, I percaya sangat2. Dan rezeki anak ni akan selalu ada. Susah macam mana pun kita, mesti ada kesenangannya. Ada hikma juga kenapa Allah hadirkan anak ke2 untuk kita diwaktu kesusahan, sebab Allah dah janjikan sesuatu untuk kita dihari akan datang.

Insya’Allah sayang, I will always be here with you no matter how hard life is. For now, lets work things together. I can see something big is waiting for us infront, Insya’Allah. Selagi I boleh tolong you, I will. I tahu you ada rasa bersalah sebab I dah banyak tolong you, but it’s ok sayang, kita dah janji susah senang sama2 kan?🥰

No matter how hard our life has to go through, please know our kids is our strength. I taknak dorang membesar dengan kemewahan, tapi I nak dorang membesar dengan penuh kasih sayang dan perhatiaan dari kita. Because that’s what kids want-Our loves, presence and attention.

I membesar dengan keluarga yang penuh dengan kasih sayang sampai ke harini. Mama Papa tak pernah sekali pun abaikan kita adik beradik, tak pernah kurangkan kasih sayang dan perhatiaan. And that’s how I’m gonna do to my own family now❤

As days goes by, i feel all emotional looking at Ozil whenever he's sleeping. I never wanted it to be this way, its heart breaking seeing me and husband have to divide our love for Ozil and his upcoming sister. But you know, Allah is always the best. HE knows what's the best and definitely know what's the best for us. Still, I'm super blessed for all this happened, Alhamdulillah ❤

As much as I feel emotional, I feel super excited too for adik's arrival. Couldn't imagine how me and husband gonna be like handling our 2 kids Haha

In few more weeks, adik gonna be with us. I wanna treasure and enjoyzing every second with Ozil before adik's arrival.

Sayang, please know that no matter what happens mama and ayah won't stop loving you any lesser nor giving you less attention. You're still our first love we have fallen for 9 months ago. That happiest feeling we felt the moment we held you for the first time, we still feel that happiness till today. You're the reason to our happiness, you're the reason to our everything.

We will go through everything together side by side... no matter how hard life is against us.

Im sure we can go through this obstacles all over again. If we can go through over the past few years, im very sure we can go through again this time round, b.

Its ok sayang. Its ok to have people talking behind our back, it is ok to have people envy or hate us with what we are having now, it is totally ok to have people who judging us. Because thats life and no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't run from reality.

Kita susah kita senang kita yang hadapi together and no one will understand what we had went through and we going through.❤

The most matter is how we both stay together and go through it together in our marriage. People judging us by how the way we leading our daily life but thats ok, because thats what we chose to lead it.

Its ok sayang, we are at the bottom line hitting the rock now, but Insya'Allah i am very sure all these will end and one day we will make it to the cloud nine. You have my back and i have your back, we will make it through together no matter how hard the situation is. I have faith in us. We will go through together ok sayang.❤

I have to be strong for you, you have to be strong for me and we have to be strong for our little boy and Insya'Allah our little girl. Allah has every reason why He made all these happened. And im very sure, Allah's plans is always the best.💕

Takpe, biar orang nak cakap apa pasal kita. Biar orang nak cakap i buat you itu ini, but the fact? Only the both of us know. You tahu i tak macam gitu, and i tahu you tak macam gitu. So let them be because mulut orang kita tak boleh tutup. We will just continue leading our daily life like how we always doing it. We will go through together till the end. i love you❤

HELLO TUMBLRINAS!

This gonna be a very super long post! Cus ive not been updating for so many months!

Its been so long. So so so long since last I updated my Tumblr!

Pardon me, I’ve been so busy in life and I couldn’t find a single second to update my blog!

So many things happened for that last few months! Wait.. my last proper update is in the February!

And that’s when Ozil is still 2 months old! But nowwwww….he’s 7 months old already! He’s half of a year now and how I wish I could stop him from growing! Tehee!😝🥰

Many things happened lately. No, I mean for the past few monthszzy….

On the March, while I was busy planning for Mama’s Fabulous 50th Birthday. I felt something wasn’t right with myself. Myself kept telling me to check a Pregancy Kit. It last for 2 weeks I felt that way, I have tried to brushed it off as it is impossible for me to be pregnant again when Ozil is only 3 months old during that time. So after 2 weeks of having that feeling. One night, while Ozil is sleeping and the husband was in the room playing PS4, I decided to take the balance of my pregnancy kit that I still had during Ozil’s time. So I went to the toilet, urined on it, waited and waited and tada! The result is out! It was a clear 2 lines!!

I was so shocked, super shocked to the point I check the packaging whether it’s a expire kit! Haha. But no… I paused for a second in the toilet. I open the toilet door, stand infront of the toilet door for 5 seconds, the husband turned at me and asked why im standing there stonely. With my voice, softly I told him “B, I pregnant lagi…” while showing him the kit from far. His face was shocked, he paused a second and then “Merepek lah b.” He thought I was playing around like how I always do to him haha. But no, this time serious sia! Haha. Dengan cepat, I went up to him, showed him the kit and he smiled…”Alhamdullilah b…” And I was like… “Serious uh?” HAHAHA. So I asked him “B nak check lagi tak? Impossible ni.” So he said yes and I took another 5 more kits to try! haha

After done urined on all the kits, yes all result is the same as the picture above!!! ITS A POSITIVE RESULT!!! Alhamdulillahhhh....

5 kits with 2 clear lines on it! I was shocked again! IT WAS SO UNBELIVEABLE!

I went out the toilet, went to husband and showed him all the kits! He smiled again and continue main game. Serious uh? Gitu je? Then I said… “B I have to go through the labour againnnn….” Hahaha. And that period of time, I couldn’t believe there’s a heartbeat in me! Ya Allah!

So I scheduled to meet my gynae few days after that. Did the scan etc, and was told , my pregnancy was already 2 months old! Another shocking part! So Ozil was 3 months during that time, and my 2nd baby is already 2 months old! Haha. Alhamdullilah, afterall, I’m truly blessed. Right after everything, I still kept this secret from mama! Thought of surprising her during her birthday party, but nope. She gonna be damn shock infront every single one! So I surprised her before her birthday party!

Mama's exact reaction after I told her! She was shocked, in a total shocked!😅 Papa kat sebelah dengan tangan cakap "Alhamdullilahhhhh.." hahaha

This is what i wrapped and gave her for present. Dengan gambar scan terus bagi mama!😅hehe

And then… here comes her birthday party on the 24 March.

Planned was successful! I managed to call everyone in mama’s families to join the fun! Alhamdullilah mama is in so much happiness!

And right after mama’s birthday celebration, Ozil got caught with diarrhea! Diarrhea for 2 weeks straight! It was super super tiring. Changing his diapers every 1 - 2 hours because he been pooping nonstop and it’s a watery poppy! After the 2 weeks straight, he got caught with high fever! And then the husb got caught with high fever. After the high fever, Ozil got caught with Flu & Cough. Non stop I tell you. Ozil been falling sick and sick and sick, and then husband pulak jangkit Ozil, and then my turn, and then back to Ozil. The cycle kept running. Honestly, my maternity leave ends on February and was supposed to start work middle of the March. But i’ve been coming and not coming from March till June! Yes, I just started my working days properly starting this week! Since March I’ve not been coming for the whole week, or either coming to work 2 or 3 days in the week.

I was really tired, and what’s more during Ozil having diarrhea, high fever etcetc, I was on my 1st trimester. And honestly, I wasn’t pay much attention with my pregnancy during that time. I put my full attention to Ozil. Alhamdullilah, everything’s getting better now.

And now.. I’m on my 2nd Trimester and will be ending soon next week. But I still had migraines, muscle cramps.

My 2nd pregnancy was super different to be compared during Ozil’s time.

When I was pregnant with Ozil. I was super super exhausted ONLY during the 1st trimester and that was normal lah eh. Then I entered 2nd trimester, I was super active. Super active that I can still travel from Johor-Singapore-Johor every single weekends when I had to work. I remembered how my husband followed me in the morning took train from Johor to Singapore, then he went home to sleep and then in the afternoon when I finished my work, we will meet up at Woodlands checkpoint and trained back to Johor. Every single weekends we will do that. Sampai dah tahu timing2 nak book train macam mana haha. Also I remember, when the trains is out, we had no choice but to take bus to Johor. The Q was super long and we stand nearly 2-3 hours at the JB custom. I can still happily doing it haha

And then during my last Trimester at 7+months, Alhamdullilah, we received our house key. And then during that period of time, we was super busy. Renovation etcetc. We went up and down for our housing renovation. We went to and fro Jurong-Bukit Batok-Jurong every single day with my yes, 8 months tummy haha. I was still strong to go through it everyday without feeling tired! Imagine how heavy it was carrying the 8-9 months tummy to and fro! Till the day I gave birth!

But my current pregnancy was super different. I’m only at 6 months now and I already felt so so heavy, felt super lazy. Ya Allah, part malas ni jangan cakap uh. Malas semalas malasnyaaaaa… Even my colleague Makcik Siti tegur me “Sabrina… Cik tengok kali ni Sabrina mengandung lain sikit. Cik tengok takde seri langsung. Masa Sabrina mengandung anak 1st, Sabrina selalu datang kerja hari2 pakai eyeshadow. Tapi kali ni, 1 makeup pun takde.” Haha. Seriously, I myself don’t believe im out without makeup! Not even a single face powder! Super bare face to work everyday. Im always out atleast ada eyeliner, but no, not a single eyeliner too! Yes, I assumed it’s the pregnancy homones! Confirm2 pregnancy hormones uh! Mana aku pernah keluar takde celak atau bedak pun! That was so not me eh takde makeup! Hahaha. So yes, this makcik was so so true! She even said “Masa 1st anak, badan Sabrina Nampak kosong. Kali ni punggung Sabrina naik.” Hmmmm…. What else should I say? Even mama told me I was super selekeh this pregnancy haha.

Please bear with me for awhile people! After this pregnancy, I will be back to myself ok! Hahahha

Well.. I was super blessed. Blessed with what Allah has gifted me nonstop. One after another of rezeki I received! But through it all, I know everything that happened ada hikmanya. Truthfully, this wasn’t a plan pregnancy. It was superb unplanned! So so unexpected! But that doesn’t mean unwanted or unloved, It just means Allah knew what I needed before even I did. Alhamdullilah for every single thing.

After I got to know I was pregnant, the first thing first I wanna know is whether it’s a single baby or a twins or triplets! Haha. Because me & my husband born with a family genes of twinny & triplets! So that was the very 1st thing I concern was! Kalau kembar ke triplets, ya allah, another blessing but another thing….pengsan kitaaaa hahaha. But still.. kalau Allah nak beri rezeki, siapa kita nak tolak kan? But alhamdullilah, there’s only 1 in me. AND! THE NEXT THING I WANNA KNOW IS! YES! THE GENDER! Gender is the main thing me, husband and my family wanna know! But still… it doesn’t matter if it was a girl or boy. Truthfully, I don’t mind if it was a boy again, because Ozil ada friend to play with! And if it was a girl, I ada friend to play makeup makeup with! Hahaha. So both is totally fine for me. Also husband is super supportive. Either boy or girl, both he is super fine. Yang penting…. Ive to go through 9 months again ehhhh! Haha.

Alhamdullilah… everything is getting better. Ozil is 7 months old now, and we as his parents already know how to manage in taking care of a baby haha. But still, there’s more for us to learn lah kan. Futhermore, now Ozil is 6 months where foods is starting to play apart. So besides milk, I have to be ready to feed him foods. I’m so excited to explore more in him! Can’t wait to see him walk especially! Haha.

As of now… I’m in the midst of planning for Ozil’s 1st year birthday! Kiasu gile kan! I know! Haha. But I wanna make a big birthday party for him! 5 more months to plan, and I already got sooo many ideas for his birthday! Definitely making a happening birthday party for him! And what’s more we will be having adik with us also during Ozil’s birthday! Hehe. Couldn’t believe Ozil and his adik is 11 months apart haha.

I guess that’s all for now.. Don’t know when will be my next post after this. Haha. Been super busy with life. But as usual, ive been updating my daily life through Ig stories.

But before I end this post…

I wanna congratulate my sissy who just got married last 2 months during Puasa month!

CONGRATULATIONS KAKAK & ABANG RA!❤

I was super happy seeing you finally married!

After all that you have been through over the past years, you definitely deserve this happiness! More and more happiness! Allah listened. So here it is.. He gave you the happiness you have been craving for, wanted for, wishing for and has been prayed for.

“Bercinta selepas bernikah..” That’s what you ever told me it would be beautiful if you ended up that way. And tada! Allah has make you ended up that way! See.. Allah plan is always the best. Always always the best. Cuma kita je yang tak nampak dan tak faham kenapa Allah uji kita. Allah uji kita sekarang, tapi pengakhirannya nanti akan jadi indah. Insya’Allah.

Aku doa semoga kau selalu diberikan kebahgiaan. Insya’Allah.😘🥰

So awhile just now, papa mama sanggup took MC just to accompanied me & husb for Ozil's sunat in the morning at 11am. After everything's done, i told mama "ok ma pa nak makan mana? Takpe adik belanja." Because me and my husb thought ma pa dah teman kita so takpe we belanja they makan. Eventho im left with berapa je.

So after decided to eat at Jurong Point kopitiam, i withdraw $50 to makan. After i spent $50 for makan, we went to Jurong house sekejap to collect our barangs. Then before we wanna bid goodbye to my MIL, she gave us $100😭 dont know for what but she said "takpe mama kasih Ozil".

Ok fine. So after that, we went to the nearest mama's makan shop at our place to buy mee goreng for my FIL because he will be coming over to our house nak tengok Ozil. So while ordering mee goreng, mama nak Durian Ice Kacang, so masa tu me and husb betul2 dah takda cash lagi dalam wallet cuma ada exact cash for mee goreng. Nak withdraw tapi sana takda nearest ATM. So me and husb really tried our best korek2 our pocket and wallet. I dont wanna ask duit from mama because my niat nak belanja. So after korek2 our wallet and kocek, we got EXACTLY $2.50 for the Durian Ice kacang. Alhamdulillah Allah tolong❤

So we manage to buy for mama. And then we reached home, FIL came and play with Ozil semua. When FIL wanna leave, he gave us $50!😭 dah tolak, but he still insists nak bagi juga!😭😭 Alhamdulillah another rezeki.😭

So while i was sitting just now, i then realized.... this is what people always said "kalau kita derma atau ada niat baik, Allah akan balas dengan 10 kali ganda." And see what we received? I withdrawed and belanja my own parents makan eventho thats the only money left we have. Tapi tak payah tunggu hari esok, hari yang sama Allah gantikan lebih dari apa yang kita dah keluarkan and berikan. Alhamdulillah syukur sangat2.😊❤

But not only this time i perasan, all the while whenever i belanja my parents or bantu orang or ada niat baik ke apa, Allah selalu gantikan 10x . But this time i bersuara all these because i tak sangka, Allah balas dengan sekejap dalam hari yang sama. Dan tak payah tunggu orang yang jauh atau yang tak kenal, Allah hantarkan orang yang paling terdekat untuk balas apa yang kita dah lakukan/berikan. Syukur Alhamdulillah .❤❤❤

Tapi tak dapat dinafikan, eversince Ozil is born, rezeki tak pernah putus. Whenever me and husb dah tak cukup or dalam kesusahan, mesti ada je tibe2 kita dapat bernafas semula. Alhamdulillah, Allah bantu. Betul lah apa orang kata "Anak pembawa rezeki." Amin amin...😌

Sorry Tumblrinas for not updating my blog for a month! Haha. Actually ive updated this post a week after i gave birth, but i saved it as draft and then i forgot about posting it! 😅

Yes i was really really really busy after having a baby. I was totally tired, draining out of energy etc. Yalor, 1st time mummy so not use to it yet, but alhamdulillah now everything is getting better.

I will just post this posting what ive typed earlier. Next posting will be a new one🤪

Syukur Alhamdulillah, after 9 months of carrying our little bundle of joy, he's finally out to see the world on 07 December 2018, healthily at 39 weeks 4 days.

I went through a last minute emergency csearean because this little boy is too big for a normal delivery😅 i went through 12 hours of labour when the doctor told me I had to go for a csearean.

My experience in delivering this little boy was a tough one, but Alhamdulillah it was a nice journey. I heard my husband crying at my side looking at how I went through the 1000 pain-ness of contraction in the labour room. I heard my husband reciting a doa right at my ear when I was in so much pain. We cried, yes that was the moment I will never forget. After so much pain of contraction I went through for 12 hours, then the doctor told me I have to go for cesearean. Me and husband look at each other, then he said "Takpe sayang, sekejap aje. Tak sakit b, sebab doctor nanti numb kan badan you, so you tak rasa bila dia potong." Hmmm macam pernah rasa je dia😏 haha

The saddest part when the doctor told him, he cant follow me to the operation room and has to stay outside. But the saddest part ever when the doctor & nurses pushed my bed to the operation room, we held our hand together and has to be apart when I entered the room, he kept reminding me "sekejap je ok sayang." he waved and he said he will wait for me outside.

I went in the operation room, not long after that around 30 minutes I'm done with the operation! Cepat kannn!😅 I went in at 12 midnight, baby is out at 00:12am! Haha. Went through sooo long hours of contraction hoping for normal delivery tapi operation tak sampai 30 minit pun😂baby is out in 12 minutes when the operation start😅 but Alhamdulillah I'm still blessed that I got to feel 2 ways of delivering. Kalau terus operation, tak dapat rasa contraction orang beranak. Hehe.

The moment baby is out, i heard hid crying😍 and then after the nurses washed him up, they put him on me and I cried! Couldn't believe I was in that position and my own child was on top of me!😭

Alhamdullilah everything went well. The moment baby is out, doctor called my husband to go in and the husband azan kan our little boy. And our boy was all good to go. He was so healthy that he can actually discharge the next day, but since I went through operation I had to stay in hospital for 3 days and baby has to wait for me! Hehe.

Thank you sayang, for staying by my side through out. I couldn't thank you enough for going through everything with me. Thank you for your support, for your doa, for holding me tight and non stop kissing me when I went through so much pains. Thank you so so much, i have never imagine going through all these with you but alhamdulillah im blessed that i got to go through it with you; the one i have been loving all along. Our daily life routine has change, our every morning & night view has change too. If last time is all about the 2 of us, now has changed to 3.

I love you too, sayang. We will go through all these together ok.😊😍😘

I still remember the days I prayed for the things i have now. Alhamdulillah❤

I used to asked from Allah i want to have a loving husband, to have my own shelter to live in and to have my own child.

Allah listened, and Allah granted my doa. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Im blessed, truly blessed. I always believe Allah is always with us, listen to us, but he wouldn't give everything we wanted. HE knows much more better. As much as I thought I want, he gave me what I needed the most. Alhamdullilah.

At times I still felt the kicking at my tummy, at times I will tend to rubbed my tummy like how I always did when I was pregnant but then I realized "eh baby dah keluar lah." Haha😅

Welcoming our little bundle of joy,

Ozil Bin Rahmat.

Ozil | Kekuatan Ilahi

As you can see, yes, the husband are the one who named his son. Biasalah, he got this name from 1 of the Arsenal player😅 But luckily the name ada makna dalam Islam, also this player is a Muslim. That is why i tak kesah dia nak nama kan Ozil, somehow i like the name too hehe.

Dear baby Ozil, we as your parents will always try our best for you. You're our amanah, Insya'Allah akan kita jaga amanah ni dengan elok. We will always and will never stop giving you happiness. Mama Ayah love you, even before we met you, we have fallen for you.

Ahh finally! HELLO DECEMBER!🙋🏻‍♀️🌸

The month ive been waiting for since 9 months ago, haha😂 Time past real fast and im about to give birth anytime soon from now! 9 more days to my due date and honestly i already felt the strong pain now but unsure if its a contraction or just....a false one. But its ok selagi i can still tahan then i will just tahan.

Well this coming wednesday 5 Dec my hospitalization leave end, and that means yes im coming back to work but only sekejap cuz my appointment will be at 1150am, and im veryyyy sure my gynae will give me hospitalization leave again because by then im only 5 days away from my due date😂

Basically now, Alhamdulillah rumah is like 50% done. So i dont have to worry much when i dalam pantang. Because i dont want my husband to do it all alone. Went out just now to buy 4 pcs of ceiling fans so this Wednesday afternoon the contractor will fix it.🤗

As much as i want baby to be out fast, i guess, its good too he didnt pop out early because the last few weeks we were so so so busy meeting up with our ID and contractors. So Alhamdulillah, im able to be strong to go to and fro jurong & bukit batok to settle our house.

Time past really fast as i remembered last year during this time, we were so excited for December because we are looking forward for our London trip! We walked around to look for winter jackets and winter shoes. But who would have thought a year later today, we were looking forward to welcome our little bundle of joy😍 And now, looking forward for 2019. Cant wait to see what awaits us in 2019. May Allah ease all our affairs, our plans, every single thing. Amin..

And may Allah ease my labour jouney. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin🤲🏼

I broke down last night. I cried. I was so emotional and cried infront of my husb.

I have never felt this way. I felt totally exhausted. My energy is totally draining out. All i want was, to get this baby out of me!

I dont know why i have the sudden thought "Baby dah keluar mesti lagi penat." And all of a sudden, i asked myself "Am i ready to be a parents? To go through all the tiredness?" I dont know maybe because i was too too exhausted and i just wanna resttttt..so all questions came out like "i will be more tired when baby is out......" etcetc....

When i broke down last night after mandi, husb rubbed my hair and asked why. Tibe2 i got so cranky, got so fed up and my voice went a lil higher "I penat b. Bila baby nak keluar ni?!" Terus my husb "Apa b. Kenapa cakap macam gitu? Sabar ok. Sekejap aje lagi." And then i cried again. Husb tried to pujuk, after awhile i feel much better.

Ive not been working since last week but taktahu kenapa rasa penat ni semacam sangat semalam. Ive been yawning non stoppppppp.. padehal duduk rumah je tau semalam. Im just tired. My tummy is getting heavier each day. Baby been nonstop kicking, moving around. And the pains i felt when he's stretching, kicking or moving around makes me feel tired.

I know 40 weeks is the full term for baby's development. But there's some mummies who gave birth starting at 35 weeks and there's even some mummies who gave birth at 41 weeks! And howwwwwwww i wishhhhhhhh this baby wanna get out atleast next week lahhhhh... Mama dah penatttttt😭

Turning 36 weeks which means its 9 months already. Truly hope baby nak keluar cepat. I already felt the contraction pains but maybe thats the brixton hicks, not the actual labour contraction. Baby's head already turn down as per what i know and saw during my last check up on the 31 October. Even some my makciks told me they can see my perut dah ke bawah etc. And my makcik even said "maklong tengok perut adik dah ke bawah, kalau tak minggu ni mesti minggu depan dah beranak." Ahhhh how i wish!!!! Haha

I know some mummies want their baby to be deliver at 40 weeks because thats when they said baby is healthy cuz its fully develop. But mummies who gave birth starting at 35 weeks, the babies is also already develop. So actually it depends with the baby. If your baby is healthy, everything is ok, give birth at 35 weeks would be ok. I doubt so.

I dont know if im bad for wanting my baby to be out now because the reason is i felt so tired. Does it makes me look real bad macam you know am i sounds like macam tak sanggup nak tempuh penat demi anak. Am i sounds like that? Noooo i dont mean that! I dont know i just penat. My instagram friends, facebook friends semua dah beranak, tinggal aku je belum haha. I dont know why but whenever i scrolled down my instagram&facebook newsfeed, tibe2 gambar baby keluar like "eh dekni dah beranak?" I felt like everybody around me dah beranak aku macam tak beranak2 gitu😂 but i know my day is coming soon in weeks time!

Well its Thursday today, and im going back to work this coming Monday! Ahh why my 10 days HL went so fast! 23 November gonna be my next check up and i hope my gynae kasih HL lagi till my due date😅 but i feel selfish for leaving my colleague doing all the work alone because she already applied for 1 week leave this month and here i am enjoying my HL hehe.

Well... its 430am now, trying so hard to stay awake because husb has to report to night shift at a verrryy last minute.

I hate the fact he has to work night shift because honestly iam not a independent girl who can be alone. Honestly im a very very clingy person, and i would automatically cry when i was left all alone! And my husband knows how much i hate him working night shift.

My husb already requested to work morning shift this month, afraid if i give birth anytime soon before my due date, so since his shift for this month is night, he decided to changed to morning just to jaga me malam. So yes his supervisor approved it.

And eversince we got our house key, we got soooo many things to be settle. I just want everything to settle before my due date, i mean eventhough now i feel super heavy and sometimes pains, i still kuatkan diri and teruskan whatever we have to do. So as long as skg i still can kuatkan diri i want everything to settle. I taknak my husband doing it all alone when i dalam pantang which i cant do anything. So selagi i masih kuat now, i want to do it together with husb.

So we've been busy these few days. Settled alot of stuffs, but till today there's still banyak lagi to settle. Didnt know dapat rumah is much more stressfull😓

We are out since morning just now running errands, then while need to settle some stuffs, husb's colleague called and asked him to masuk night shift, actually he's working morning shift but since we got things to settle today, he decided to take unpaid leave so that is why we managed to settle some stuff today, but halfway through he has to report to work at night 11pm. He already explained he couldnt cus still got so many things to settle, but meh, no choice they still asked to cus the next day is Deepavali, tak cukup orang. No choice husb has to report to work.

So we settle everything and got back home around 11pm, husb called them cakap nak masuk lambat sikit. They said doesnt matter as long as he come. Bleargh

So husb asked me whether i ok tak tidur sorang, i cakap ok je will try to kuatkan diri tidur sorang but meh, im so awake right now with lampu bukak terang menderang skg ni😅 i fall asleep at 12am tadi, but terbangun around 245am cus termimpi seram and i always benci kalau termimpi2 seram ni. My imagination is damn strong sampai kadang2 imagine merepek2 atlast takut sendiri. Idk if ada orang lain mcm gini or am i the only 1, but sorry i punya orang memang tak pernah tidur sorang dari kecik hehe and i punya orang paling paling penakut😅😭

This photo was taken during our London trip nearly a year ago, cus seriously we dont have our recent selfie photo😅

Sayang... i know it wasnt gonna be easy. I tried, i tried to help you out in some things but i couldnt. I tak tahu dengan care apa lagi untuk nak tolong you, tolong kita. But i tahu, Allah is always with us. He knows the struggles we going through. Every journey wasnt easy, but please know, i will always by your side to go through everything with you. Eventhough i couldnt do much now sebab i tengah sarat mengandung, but i will try to be strong for you, for us.

Thank you sayang for always finding ways to make me have a better life. But it is ok, biar kita susah sekarang b. I know things will get better for us. Everyone has their own stories. Let this be our story. I dont mind going through this difficulties, as long as the both of us has each other and stick to each other.

I anggap all these is part of our current obstacles, its ok sayang. Allah tak pernah putus duga umatnya, so i take this as 1 of our dugaans. Insya'Allah, i percaya Allah will help us along the way, He wont let us go through this alone😌

I love you so much, husb. We will go through this together ok😘❤

Alhamdullilah… Blessed, truly blessed🌷

I remembered we applied BTO few years ago, way before we plan to even get engaged. We didn’t even think of getting engage any sooner at that period of time. But I’am very very very sure he’s the right one for me. Therefore, we applied.

At that point of time, I was only 21 when we applied. How can we think of apply a house when we was actually suppose to think of engage or married first? Right? Haha. Kanciong Singaporean😝😂😂

But Alhamdullilah, somehow it was a good move actually. Because applying a house in Singapore wasn’t a easy journey process. It took damn long months for your ballot number to be called, damn long years for your house to be alll ready.

But alhamdullilah, the process and everything went very very smoothly. Allah make it a smooth one❤

 As much as we were planning and focusing to welcome our new home this year, Allah gifted us with a happy news, Alhamdullilah. But who would have known, Allah gave us another good news in getting the key 2 months before welcoming our little bundle of joy, Syukur Alhamdullilah🤲

Double happiness, double bundle of joys!🎉🌷

Sebaik mana, sejauh mana perancangan kita dalam kehidupan, perancangan Allah untuk kehidupan kita jauh lebih terbaik dan terindah, Alhamdullilah.

Allah will always surprise us in any ways, every ways.

With all the obstacles we have gone through the last time, and all we did was Sabar, maybe that is why Allah make things easy for us now, Alhamdullilah.

Rezeki after Rezeki. Thank you, Allah🤲❤❤

 It’s not gonna be easy, I know. House renovation, and all the expenses, house bills etc + getting our baby soon, his daily/monthly expenses, pampers/milks etc. Too much, too much need to spend and what’s more we are living in Singapore with allllll the high pricings. But Insya’Allah, I know Allah is always with us. He knows our strength. He knows me & my husband is capable to go through it together. Insya’Allah, if there’s a will, there’s a way. And ada hikma in everything that happened. Insya’Allah, Allah is the greatest planner🌷

Alhamdullilah, we done buying baby’s stuffs. Everything is complete. So now we are focusing with our house renovation. Like we legit focusing with house renovation!😅 Didn’t know renovation is much more stressful than planning for a wedding! Haha😂😂

Told my husband and family yesterday, “Jangan nanti kemas2 rumah nak terberanak."😅 Cus seriously, ive been feeling contractions since yesterday! I don’t know if this is a Braxton hicks contraction or the real actual labour contractions. 1 minute I was damn pain, another minute ok, then next minute macam takleh jalan sebab sakit. Baby makin besar, so he kept kicking and moving around non stop! Lagi2 part when bila rasa macam dia tengah swimming gitu, Ya Allah sakit gile haha. Perut rasa mengulas semacam haha Till the husb said “Baby tak sabar nak keluar agaknya.” Lol haha🤣

Alhamdullilah, I wanna thank my family too. Who has been my backbone all the while. Without them, I know I wont be where I am now. I wont be as strong as I am now. They have been with me through all the way, never once they left me alone.😍❤❤

Diffinately I’m gonna miss travelling to and fro Jurong and Johor. But there’s always a time to do that again. Hehe.