same

the Great One cast me with sweet lips and inked tongue in exchange for a beating heart.

discarded to the earth fallen from stone hands i, beautiful husk, roam the realms between the Arghandāb and Helmand.

with heat of breath from woven words i seek to melt my form, to subtilize and gain anima's variant colors.

who is there to be? what is there to eat?

from an interesting passage in the Spring and Autumn Annals of Yanzi (晏子春秋), in which he supports the gays (it's more complicated than that but whatever):

景公蓋姣，有羽人視景公僭者。公謂左右曰：「問之，何視寡人之僭也？」羽人對曰：「言亦死，而不言亦死，竊姣公也。」公曰：「合色寡人也？殺之！」晏子不時而入，見曰：「蓋聞君有所怒羽人。」公曰：「然。色寡人，故將殺之。」晏子對曰：「嬰聞拒欲不道，惡愛不祥，雖使色君，于法不宜殺也。」 Duke Jing [of Qi] was so exceptionally attractive that a minor official presumed to stare at his extravagant beauty. The duke said to his attendants on the left and right, "Ask him — why does he stare at me, overstepping his rightful place?"

The official replied, "If I speak I will die, but if I do not speak I will also die—I was stealing a glance at the beautiful duke!"

The duke declared, "He lusted after me? Kill him!"

Yanzi entered out of turn and said, "I hear that you are angry with an official."

The duke said, "Correct. He lusted after me, so I will kill him."

Yanzi replied, "I, Ying, have heard that to resist desire is not in accordance with the Way, and to hate love is inauspicious. Although he was caused to lust after you, according to the standard, it is wrong that he should be killed."

very fun. classical chinese attitudes about gay men are very interesting, pretty analogous to the mediterranean tolerance for it around the same time? there are a couple Han-era sources which even mention some lesbians, which makes me grateful, even if that's still pretty damn far apart from... something which would make me feel seen enough to ally myself explicitly with them. i will simply say the tradition resonates. anyway, another —

i think this has got to be my favorite one, a story in the Zuo tradition of the Spring and Autumn Annals (春秋左傳) in which Yanzi describes this nonconformist ideal he thinks is essential to a state's continued function.

齊侯至自田，晏子侍于遄臺，子猶馳而造焉。公曰：「唯據與我和夫。」晏子對曰：「據亦同也，焉得為和。」公曰：「和與同異乎？」對曰：「異，和如羹焉，水火醯醢鹽梅，以烹魚肉，燀之以薪，宰夫和之，齊之以味，濟其不及，以洩其過，君子食之，以平其心，君臣亦然，君所謂可，而有否焉，臣獻其否，以成其可，君所謂否，而有可焉，臣獻其可，以去其否，是以政平而不干民無爭心。故《詩》曰：『亦有和羹， 既戒既平。 鬷嘏無言， 時靡有爭。』先王之濟五味、和五聲也，以平其心，成其政也。 聲亦如味，一氣，二體，三類，四物，五聲，六律，七音， 八風，九歌，以相成也；清濁、小大，短長、疾徐，哀樂、剛柔，遲速、高下，出入、周疏，以相濟也。君子聽之，以平其心。心平，德和。故《詩》曰：『德音不瑕。』今據不然，君所謂可，據亦曰可，君所謂否，據亦曰否，若以水濟水，誰能食之，若琴瑟之專壹，誰能聽之，同之不可也如是。」 When the Lord of Qi returned from the hunt, Yanzi waited upon him at the Chuan Terrace. Liangqiu Ju galloped his horses to join them there. The Duke said, “Only Ju is harmonious with me.”

Yanzi replied, “Ju conforms with you — how can he be harmonious?”

The Duke asked, “Are harmony and conformity different?”

He replied, “They are different. Harmony is like a stew. Water, fire, jerky, mincemeat, salt, and plum [vinegar] are used to cook fish and meat — they are cooked over firewood. Then the master chef harmonizes them, mixes them according to taste, compensating for what is insufficient and diminishing what is too strong. The superior person eats it to calm their heart. It is the same with the ruler and minister. When there is something unacceptable about what the ruler considers acceptable, the minister points out the unacceptable in order to perfect their acceptability. When there is something acceptable in what the ruler considers unacceptable, the minister points out the acceptable in order to eliminate the unacceptable. In this way the government is equalized and without transgressions, and the people have no contending hearts. Thus, it says in the Poetry, ‘There is a well-harmonized stew. We are careful and calm. We advance silently; There is no contention.’ The former kings’ seasoning of the five flavors and harmonizing of the five tones were for the calming of hearts and the perfecting of government. Sounds are just like flavors. The single breath, the two forms, the three genres, the four materials, the five tones, the six pitches, the seven notes, the eight airs, the nine songs—these are used to complete one another. The clear and the muddy, the piano and the forte, the short and the long, the presto and the adagio, the somber and the joyous, the hard and the soft, the delayed and the immediate, the high and the low, the going out and coming in, the united and separate—these are used to complement one another. The superior person listens to it and thus calms their heart. When the heart is calm, the virtue is in harmony. Thus, as it says in the Poetry,

‘The sound of his virtue is unblemished.’

As for Ju, he is not like this. Whatever you consider acceptable, Ju also says it is acceptable, whatever you consider unacceptable, Ju also says it is unacceptable. This is like complementing water with more water: who will be able to drink it? If the zithers and dulcimers were to hold a single tone, who could listen to it? This is how conformity is unacceptable.”

here it isssss a new fic from me! i was seized by the desire to do so, so i have conjured up a xuehan for you all, if you are willing to accept it :)

new fic today! this is a short, peaceful, calm little kafstellefly piece :)