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@nowimstrongerforwhatevercom-blog
sigh.

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My outfit for today. I feel like a fat whale and I'm seriously ashamed to put this on tumblr but that's a part of "recovery" right? My outfit would look a lot prettier if I were thin and the only thought I have when I see this is that I want to purge again but I can't. So, yeah. here. Have a pic.
Had "Christmas Dinner" at my internship today. :) After the eating and such we all went outside and had 7 of those big balloons with fire (which was pretty heavy and i guess dangerous because of the wind)Â
it looked beautiful :)Â
Sorry I'm so inactive on this account, my life is just so boring I have nothing to write here. :(
Ik houd van "surprise" met mijn gezin. ♥ Iedereen koopt cadeautjes voor iedereen (pap, mam, broer, zus, zus, schoonzus, schoonbroer) van 7,50 en iedereen maakt er een gedicht bij. Dus je krijgt zoveel leuke dingen en het is altijd ZO gezellig met elkaar, im so excited.  ♥

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today as black piet
We also had hot choco and this picture turned out really cool.
So me and Lonneke (wodkalimee)Â were texting and IÂ accidentally made her really, really, really sad and we both ended up crying a lot, but anyway, I decided to go to her house so she wouldn't be alone and I'm very happy I did that. We decided to burn everything that has to do with her (recent) ex and actually it was pretty fun to do but I think burning the pictures were pretty emotional. I made a picture of it because it looked really cool though.
I'm very happy about it though because I felt like complete shit and I think we both cheered each other up. Love you. ♥
"People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant numb to emotions, being numb to lie. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bad again. Days aren't really days; they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faces. And who do you face them? Through drinking, through smoking, through drugs, through cutting. When you're depressed, you gasp onto anything that can get you through the day. That's what depression is, not sadness or tears, it's the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to the next"
What a lovely shirt you're wearing!
thanks <3 Bought it in london last year :)

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Today.
Did you talk about it with your coach today? I think the girl was happy about the fact that she could talk to someone to let it all out.
Yes I said it today, but he was really busy so he didn't really answer it. And yes I guess she is, that makes me glad :)
Today was a pretty heavy day at my internship. Two girls (both the age of 6) had a "fight" during the break at school, (I have my internship at an elementary school) and went to me to talk about it and such when school started. So I both took them to the hall so we could talk about what happened when the other kids went to their class and had their lessons and whatever. We talked about it for a bit, and it wasn't that bad. I sent one of the girls back to class, the other girl had to say with me. She was crying so hard, so I knew there was something more to the story. She said someone mentioned that their grandma had cancer and that made the girl think of her granddad and her brother, they both died... I felt unbelievably bad, especially because of the brother even though it was a really long time ago, she wasn't even born by that time, but still I asked her a little bit about her family and she said she feels terrible at home. I was completely shocked because her mother and her sister always look so happy. She told me that her parents got divorced and she didn't get to see her dad anymore, only like once in 1 or 2 years. One time she wanted to write a letter to her dad but her mom got completely mad. She also wrote a letter to "Sinterklaas" (it's like Santa Claus in holland) about how she felt so terrible at home. The letter never got answered but ofcourse her mother read it when the girl was asleep or something. She said that when she went home, she immediately felt sick in her stomach and got a headache.Â
I really want to help her but I don't know why. Ofcourse it's not my business, her mother is, but I really care about her, I care about all the kids in my internship. But she was crying so hard. So hard.Â
I'm going to talk about it with my coach tomorrow because this is not okay.
He can be a pain in the ass but also the best buddy you can have. I'd be lost without him.Â

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Family rules
It's a very crappy 'made with my phone' picture but the sky looked so beautiful this morning. I can enjoy these little things. :)