Joey!!!

I'm literally running laps around the world

As the biggest marvel fan ever and a huge rygo enthusiast I’m about to be the most annoying person ever

Literally gonna be me omw to dashcon

i don’t think i’m exaggerating when i say that the average height for women in the US would increase by at least an inch if teen girls were allowed to eat as much as teen boys are

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

daughter (non-practicing)

sister (deadbeat)

Show daddy that nice picture again

human and bug relations will change by the end of the century

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

can you imagine being in high school rn jesus christ

how to become good at everything no practice no effort no motivation no passion no talent fast free