Not Your Typical Addicted

I messed up today and let my cravings get the best of me. I figured it would happen, but I didn’t know it would happen that quickly. 

So, I made a quick decision and went to the gym today. I signed up for a membership and paid for a full year...nearly 200 dollars. So, I have no excuses. 

Today at precisely 9:24 EST, I made a decision. I decided that it was time to make a huge change in my life. 

You see, I have an addiction. It isn’t your usual addiction - like drugs or alcohol. My addiction is to something that not a lot of people recognize as being an addicting substance. 

For years, I have struggled with sugar. I could easily drink multiple cans of coke, eat bags and bags of candies and inhale large pieces of cake without thought. That said, things have changed. 

Maybe my age is catching up to me or maybe I have just finally eaten too much junk in my lifetime, but now I am suffering in more ways than one. I am at a ridiculously unhealthy weight. I experience pain doing the simplest of things - like walking up and down stairs. 

And I still cannot go through a day without consuming an insane amount of sugar. 

Some may call this an eating disorder - and I am sure it is. But, this is my addiction. I physically cannot stay away from candy. I go through all of the withdrawal symptoms that a drug addict would go through. I sweat. I get the shakes. I feel sick. Headaches. Lightheadedness. Fatigue. Irritability. Anxiety...

I am telling you now that this is an addiction. This is my addiction. 

Now, what has changed to make me want to quit sugar once and for all?

I don’t know. Maybe it was the fact that I cannot fit into the usual size jeans that I always wear. Maybe it’s the fact that I struggle at work fitting into tight areas that used to be easy just a few months ago. Maybe it’s the fact that I got winded walking to Tim Hortons yesterday. Maybe it’s the fact that I actually saw how much money I spend on junk a day. 

I really don’t know what the reason is. 

All I know is that at 9:24am, I told myself enough is enough. if I keep going down this road, I won’t be here much longer. I have a lot to live for and sugar is slowly killing me. I need to quit. 

Looking back now, that seems pretty half-hearted, however, I need to do this. 

I have to do this.