Its ME TEA ;)

i call my parents and say ‘yeah i can’t do family stuff tonight, i got too much stuff to do for school’ and i e-mail my professor and say ‘i can’t do my assignments tonight, work got crazy’ and i text my boss and say ‘sorry i can’t work late tonight, i gotta some family stuff’ and through this triangulation of deceitful excuses i at last will be free

just saw a post complaining about how hard it is to find adhd resources for adults and one of the comments said “tiktok has a lot of adhd tips” as if telling someone with adhd to enter the algorithmic quicksand of perpetual dopamine hits isn’t the most insane thing you could suggest for someone with adhd

miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit. im shooting everything. im laying down cover fire. im shooting the walls. im shooting my teammates. im shooting myself. my accuracy is 100% yall just dont know what im aiming at

I didn’t even read the rest because I’m still laughing at “miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit” like I’ve never read a more perfect phrase in my life

eternally grateful that who you follow can be hidden on tumblr, so people on here dont send weirdo "you're following [insert person I don't like] btw" DMs to other users

whenever i get intrusive thoughts i think to myself "thats not canon" and most of the time they go away. if its not canon it cant hurt me

"why do you want to maim and kill" i literally dont??? banned from chat. not even canon.

girl I love your posts but you are literally my entire dashboard right now

I’m glad you all relate to this but the truth is that at 5:55 am this morning one of my mutuals reblogged a picture of a capybara over 40 times and I am going to hunt her for sport

Mdzs is most importantly a story about how even introverts who have insane resting bitch face can find their own manic pixie dream boys