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LEGENDARY

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

I’m real? I’m gotdamn alive?

When your dad is a twin This is so cute!

how r kids gonna differentiate dads when white twinks adopt ?

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

I never understood why a girl is always suppose to be that ride or die chick that stays with a man and helps him build and become the man she deserves but a guy is never told to stay with a woman while she finds herself. A guy will always look for that perfect woman but we are suppose to settle for a building project?! Fuck that.

#have you seem michelles arms #she dont need no help carrying a mini fridge 

Honestly? Today is Wednesday and tomorrow is Thursday ☕️💯

Your weekly cup of tea…….

Go ahead and have a fucking sip babes……..

what if grass licked your feet when you stepped on it

i would do a split

every day we stray further from God’s grace…

I wish this was longer

Me with my friends

oh

Baby dog has huge feets!? Born With so much love for you already, has to be stored in The Toes