no im not that boi

I feel lonely in a room full of my friends. I feel uncomfortable around my friends. I feel uncomfortable in my body. I cant self harm anymore because I feel huge guilt if I do and I cant stay alive because I hate myself so much and this is just turning me into a bitter, nasty person. I want to love people so badly but im becoming too shy and I just dont know how to be myself around people anymore. I dont want to upset my parents but I think they would find it harder to watch me go insane from the fact that I have lost all connection with other people. I have no confidence. I have been completely ruined, I do not have the psychological reflexes of a human anymore. I go for weeks and weeks sometimes without even touching the skin of another person because I fear that people find me physically disgusting. I cant even open up to my own mother. I spend most of my time in my room because I find it too scary to go outside because everyone is always staring at me, no matter how hard I try to blend into the background. I love my little sister so much because she is so  young and kind and clever. Please dont come and talk to me after reading this. im really scared about what is going to happen to me. i am going to try to keep going but im really suicidal.

if youre gay and transphobic then the least you can do is hold still while i vomit on you

the album has been out like 2 days and its already been uploaded to about 7 file sharing websites wtf

album is out tomorrow  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

music video comes out tomorrow and i just....  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

THE WAIT IS KILLING ME CAN WE JUST RELEASE IT ALREADY

im suddenly really insecure about my music lol w h y w o u l d a n y o n e l i k e t h i s g a r b a g e for real tho :///