I am made of stars

like, the genderfluidity of it all? you're is presenting as a man here with this identity and as a woman here with this identity but is always still you. one of the things the story says over and over about our protagonist's love interest is that, in whatever way, he cares so so much about our protagonist in Both of their identities. The story is not just about one it's about both.

a transmasc experience? The coat that's a bit too big for you but makes your shoulders look wider, the shirt that's big enough to hide in, your voice doesn't really pass and you're just hoping it'll be overlooked, you get hurt and you don't want to go to a hospital because they would see through the disguise, you don't want to give your name to someone who might realize it's not official. If they see through the disguise you're in danger. you've finally reached a part of your life where you can make connections freely as a person but there's always this doubt of is this real? do i deserve this? what if they knew? and they can't know because that would implicate them in the same danger. i cannot be this and live this all the time because of how i was created, because of the dangers around me. and at the end of the day, when it comes to the final hour, I'll have to give this up, won't I? you put the glasses down. but you survive anyway, and you can get them back, if you want.

but just. the more I watched of this show the more it's just absolutely hit me in the feels with a transfem narrative? like in the way galaxy the prettiest star has a 'you're in disguise as a man to keep yourself and those around you safe' transfem narrative and like specifically a partially closeted/sometimes in guymode transfem narrative. your childhood photo that you keep with you is ambiguous enough on your gender to not give anything away. you go to work in mens clothes that don't quite fit right with a man's name and you hope no one sees through that facade because if they do you would be in danger. You go home and at night you change your hair, you put on your makeup and nails and heels and you go back out as yourself. and you are incredibly strong and you are in incredible danger but deep in your heart you feel alive. and at the same time there is a voice in your head that says you are not real, you are not a real person. you are not the right kind of person. you are not the right kind of woman. you don't deserve the things that real people deserve. you'll try to turn away someone who loves you because of that but because he loves you for yourself he doesn't care. You face danger and you survive anyway and you're loved. It just. it hits me right in the feels. I love her.