.☘︎ ݁˖

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my room is a real mess and I'm not going to do anything about it

apart from when I'm fasting, I'm so afraid of weighting myself. It's like I feel a constant gaze on me, It determines how I feel, It's the only thing I can control now, so I'm so afraid of failing at that too, so I’m now afraid to weigh myself. But I have this feeling of anticipation for the next time that I'll I feel my weight drop on the scale. It's so addictive. It’s the only thing I’m good at rn like everything I do is nonsense and I’m so bad at everything.

I love doing drugs alone