I miss Sanctioned Suicide. I miss feeling validated for wanting to kms and surrounding myself with like minded people who also just want to end their suffering.

What's stopping me from attempting to overdose by taking all of my pills at once?

Nothing but the fear of me still not dying and ending up in the hospital again.

Ask all of my ex-fps how I truly am. They'll all shit on me and call me the worst person ever—which is true!

I'm unloveable!!!!!!!!!!!! No one will ever accept me for who I am!!!!!!!!!! I'll keep being abandoned unless I avoid everyone completely and never become attached to anyone again!!!!!!!!!! I'll never fall in love!!!!!!!!!! I'll die alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saw my ex-fp in a comments section of a writers post and I got so pissed off. You reblog my posts sometimes whenever I talk about lads controversy so why not reblog my writing too???? I thought you loved my fanfics. Why not keep supporting me too? Maybe I am just a shit writer.

I wish people cared about my writing. I wish I could get 10k likes for my fanfic. I wish I could say "im leaving tumblr soon" and have hundreds of people wish me well. I wish I was important enough. I wish I got support for talking about suicide. I wish people didnt ignore me. I want to make a suicide livestream just so people will finally take me seriously in my final moments. I understand Ruruchan. No one cares until youre dead.

My kidney and blood work results weren't sent to my doctor yet, so idk if I'm alright or not till I get sent the results :p