Mj Hunter

If I ever kill someone I’m gonna make sure I kill the nicest person in the world so they go to heaven because I don’t want to get stuck in hell with the person I killed and have to be all like:

“Hey man, I’m really sorry I killed you back when we were alive. I didn’t know there was an afterlife, and I definitely didn’t realise that if there was an afterlife we’d end up in the same part of it.”

“Yeah, that is a little unlucky. But seriously don’t worry about the whole murder thing. I totally had it coming. I took your wife from you and ran your dog over with my car, I ruined your life so I get it. Don’t worry about it.”

“Cool, thanks for being so understanding man.”

“Yeah, no worries. Hey, I’m sorry about everything I put you through it was a shitty thing for me to do.”

“Its fine, water under the bridge.”

“Is that supposed to be a joke?”

“What?”

“The water that you dumped my lifeless body in was under a bridge.”

“Oh, I totally forgot about that part. Dude, I’m sorry.”

“So you forgot about that time you KILLED a guy.”

“I had a lot on that week. And also I lived a pretty long life. You start to forget the details you know? … well, I guess you wouldn’t know.”

“Yeah, thats right because you killed me when I was 32.”

“To be honest man life after 30 isn’t all that its cracked up to be. I get why people used to die young in medieval times. You didn’t miss out on much.”

“Oh, thats comforting. Thanks!”

…

“So, is there much nice stuff to do here?”

“No, it’s Hell.”

“Sure. How long you in for?”

“Eternity.”