If I ever kill someone I’m gonna make sure I kill the nicest person in the world so they go to heaven because I don’t want to get stuck in hell with the person I killed and have to be all like:
“Hey man, I’m really sorry I killed you back when we were alive. I didn’t know there was an afterlife, and I definitely didn’t realise that if there was an afterlife we’d end up in the same part of it.”
“Yeah, that is a little unlucky. But seriously don’t worry about the whole murder thing. I totally had it coming. I took your wife from you and ran your dog over with my car, I ruined your life so I get it. Don’t worry about it.”
“Cool, thanks for being so understanding man.”
“Yeah, no worries. Hey, I’m sorry about everything I put you through it was a shitty thing for me to do.”
“Its fine, water under the bridge.”
“Is that supposed to be a joke?”
“The water that you dumped my lifeless body in was under a bridge.”
“Oh, I totally forgot about that part. Dude, I’m sorry.”
“So you forgot about that time you KILLED a guy.”
“I had a lot on that week. And also I lived a pretty long life. You start to forget the details you know? … well, I guess you wouldn’t know.”
“Yeah, thats right because you killed me when I was 32.”
“To be honest man life after 30 isn’t all that its cracked up to be. I get why people used to die young in medieval times. You didn’t miss out on much.”
“Oh, thats comforting. Thanks!”
“So, is there much nice stuff to do here?”
“Sure. How long you in for?”
“Yeah obviously. Me too I guess.”
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
stormborns
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