Not Made For One-Night Stands

Ola mga beh! :) 

I am officially moving notmadeforonenightstands.tumblr.com to Wordpress. Wala lang. Para mas complicated. Masaya ang mga complicated things eh. HAHAHAHA. 

Please see the link above for my new blog which will be filled with my feelings and such.

I am still keeping the Mother Tumblog (ireallyshouldntbeon.tumblr.com) for all my other kabulastugans in life and we have to admit, nakaka-addict magreblog ng stuvves.. :) Hope we can still continue our lovely Tumblrelationship. <3

Love you all,

Hi! My name is Abby, and I’m a smartphone addict.

We live in a hyper-connected, ultra-streamlined world. The saying of the day was: ‘Connect and Streamline or Die’*.

I’m not really one to follow trends, an uncomplicated girl, usually needing the barest minimum to survive the technological age. Up until a couple of years ago, I liked having a one gadget to perform a specific function; I couldn’t be bothered with streamlining and multi-functionality. I had my ultra-basic phone for calling and texting, my iPod Classic for my music, and my laptop for all other technology-related tasks. I was connected, but not too connected. I maintained a safe distance from what I saw as the penultimate time-suck that is social networking sites. That is until I acquired my first Blackberry in 2010.

Keeping up with my uncomplicated girl image, I got the basic Curve model that came free with my network plan. As basic as it was, it stored my music, enabled me to create documents, send emails, and connect to social networking sites. Oh, it calls and texts too! I understood why people called it the ‘Crack-Berry’: I was hooked. I couldn’t get my hands off it. I’d be looking for every excuse to use it, until it has become so ingrained in my routine that if I thought I’d lost it, I would go into panic-beast mode: turning white as a sheet breaking cold sweat with lots of shouting and ugly crying. I did lose my Crack-Berry, twice. During both of those times, I went back to my very reliable ultra-basic call and text phone with the hopes of rehabilitating myself from my Blackberry addiction but I just couldn’t. I kept coming back and even upgraded myself for more features.

As my smartphone addiction got stronger, I felt like I needed more than what my Blackberry could provide. I needed to switch to something that would enable me to further streamline my life as well as have added functionalities my current model couldn’t provide, so I decided to switch to the Android. By mid-2012 I got myself a Samsung Galaxy S3, which was quite unprecedented considering my mobile phone purchase history. It was the hot phone at the moment, the darling of the Samsung line. I fell in love with it instantly; it felt like an extension of me.

I felt more connected, more functional, more powerful than I’ve ever had. I felt like I could achieve anything, ANYTHING, with my S3. This partnership had become so strong, that I’ve had partners complaining that they are jealous about the amount of time I spend with my phone. No, not only about what I do on my phone, but jealous of my actual phone! Yes, partners. My relationship with my smartphone has had a longer shelf life than some of my romantic relationships, which is sad, very sad indeed. This realization has prompted me to put myself through a self-imposed smartphone rehab; I’ve been missing out on so much of what life has to offer. Instead of focusing my energies on my smartphone screen, I’ve made the conscious decision to experience life more. It has not been an easy process to wean off from the use of my smartphone but I’m getting there. One day at a time.

Do you have a smartphone addiction too?

Oh hey! Pilot episode of For Word and by Word is up on www.thinkingmansclassroom.com . I'm one of the featured guests! Along with Charms Tianzon, Raul M Roco Jr, and Jio Victorino.

Show hosted by Ms. Kooky Tuason and directed by August Lyle Espino Like them on Facebook Thinking Man's Classroom :D

Ipinananganak akong may humigit kumulang na sampung nunal sa aking mga paa. Itinuro sa akin noong bata ako na kapag mayroon kang nunal sa tenga, magaling kang makinig. kapag sa bibig naman ay magaling kang magsalita, Kapag sa sentido naman ay ibig sabihin matalino. Kapag sa batok ay magiging habulin ka sa ibang tao. Kapag sa paa naman ay tiyak na marami kang mapupuntahan at magiging lakwatsera ka.

Likas akong malikot na bata at pangarap kong maging isang manlalakbay. Mahilig akong sumiksik, umakyat, tumakbo, gumulong at kung ano ano pa. Pero hindi ako pinapayagang maglikot o gumala sa malayo ng mga nakakatanda kasi ayaw nila akong masaktan. Para akong isang ibong nakakulong sa isang hawla, aligagang aligaga na lumabas ngunit di pwede kung kaya’t ang una kong naging kaibigan ang mga libro. Dito natuto akong kumawala sa hawla gamit ang akong imahenasyon. Babasahin ko ang libro, tapos ipipikit ang aking mga mata at nakikita ko ng nakikipaglaro ako kay Tom and Huck, sasakay sa kasama sa balsa pababa ng Ilog Mississippi. Aakyat ng malaking beanstalk kasama ni Jack para kalabanin ang mga higante. Sasama kay Little Red Riding Hood para bisitahin ang kanyang lola sa gubat. Lilipad kasama ni Peter at Tink papuntang Never Never Land. 

*bicycle bell sounds*

Ay! Teka! Nariyan na ang aking mga kaibigan. Yung tao ha, baka akalain nyong baliw ako.

Tuwing hapon dumarating ang aking mga kaibigan para ayain akong makipaglaro. Aakyat ako sa puno ng mangga sa mula sa bintana ng kwarto ko hanggang sa baba para makatakas palabas. Sasakay sa bisikleta at pakakaripasin ito ng takbo para hindi ako mahabol ng yaya ko. Pupunta kami sa may playground para maglaro. Pero ang ginagawa ko lang talaga ay sumakay ng swing. Sasakay ako rito at hahayaan ang sariling lumipad ng lumipad pataas ng pataas ng pataas ng pataas. Madalas nalilimutan kong may mga kasama akong kalaro. Ang gusto ko lang talagang gawin ay lumipad.

*rocket ship sounds*

Isang beses nasobrahan ako ng paglipad, bumitaw ako sa kinatatayuan sinubukang lumipad at tumama ang aking ulo sa may batuhan, umuwi akong dumudugo ang ulo at puro galos ang katawan. Ikinulong ako ulit sa hawla at tila'y ginupit ang aking mga pakpak. Hindi na ako makalipad kaya bumalik nalang ako sa paglalakbay ko gamit ng aking imahenasyon.

Kapag lumilipad ako palayo, madalas nakatingin ako sa kawalan. “Ground control to major Tom. Ground control to major Tom”, yan ang madalas tukso sakin kapag lumilipad na ako papalayo sa kanila. Bubulusok ako agad pabalik ng lupa. “Hoy! Saang planeta ka ba galing? Nakatulala ka nanaman.” ang tanong sakin minsan. Gusto kong isagot: “Galing ako sa Planetang XDHTGJ76895BNPLUMQ! Dumating ako sakay ng isang maliit na rocketship na pumasok sa ilong ng aking ina dito sa lupa mala-Magic School Bus ni Ms. Frizzle. Nandito ako para obserbahan kayong lahat, bawat gabi nagrereport ako sa mga leader ng planeta ko tungkol sa inyo!” Pero hindi ako nagsasalita. Titingin nalang ako sa mga paa ko at ngingiti habang naglalakbay pa rin ang isip kong nakasakay sa motorsiklong palayo ng palayo.

*motorcycle sounds*

Napakarami ko ng narating sa paglalakbay sa aking isipan. Labas dito mahilig talaga akong maglakbay. Mahilig akong maglakad lakad o sumakay sakay patungo sa kung saan saan kahit walang pupuntahan at walang rason maglalakad lang ako. Kapag tinanong ako bakit ako mahilig maglakbay sasabihin ko lang ay may hinahanap ako. Alam mo ba kung ano ang hinahanap ko? I'm searching for the great unknown. Bago mo sabihin "wow, pa-deep", sasabihin ko muna sa iyo kung bakit. Kaya ko hinahanap ang bagay na hindi pa alam ay para mas makilala ang sarili ko ng mabuti. Naniniwala akong nasa paglalakbay ang sagot sa mga malalaking katanungan sa buhay.[Alam nyo bang nahanap ko ang sagot sa ano ang dapat mong gawin sa buhay mo habang nasa bus mula Marihatag hanggang Davao? Tsaka ang sagot sa kung pipiliin ko ba munang maging single habang nasa kotse pababa mula ng Sagada hanggang Maynila.] Ngayon pwede nyo ng sabihin. (Wow. Pa -Deep).

Unrequited Love Poem - Sierra DeMulder

This has been stuck in my head for a while now, natatawa nalang ako as to how this fits so perfectly. I don't understand how I can only see it now.

November 23, 2009. Limampu’t walong katao ang pinatay sa ibabaw ng isang burol sa bayan ng Ampatuan sa Maguindanao. Tatlumpu’t isa dito ay mga media personnel. Ang iba naman ay human rights lawyer at mga babaeng kabilang sa pamilyang Mangundadatu. Limang taon na ang nakalipas, wala pa ring hustisya na nakarating sa mga namatay at namatayan.

Limang taon na ang nakalipas mula ng sinabihan ka nya ng: “I need space. I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me.” Tapos two weeks later, nakita mo syang may bagong kaholding hands sa may Megamall. Ugh. Ang sakit. Ang sakit. Sakit. Galit na galit ka noon. Handa ka nang pumatay.

Limang taon na ang nakalipas, Limampu’t walong tula, kanta, at kwento na ang nagawa mo tungkol sa kanya. Tatlumpu’t isa dito ay may temang “sana ako nalang, sana tayo nalang ulit.” Ilang araw nalang ikakasal na sila, Nanghihingi ka pa rin ng hustisya.

September 26, 2009. 400 mm ng ulan ang bumuhos sa loob ng anim na oras na Nagdulot ng malawakang pagbahang naka-apekto sa Halos apat na milyong tao.

400mm na rin ng luha ang tumulo sa mga mata mo mula nang iwan ka nya. Mukha ka nang panda. Hindi yung cute na panda ha. Yung pangit. Kung meron man nun. Sa laki ng eyebags mo sa kakaiyak, Nangako ka sa sarili mong magpapaganda ka. Kasi kapag gumanda ka tiyak na babalik sya.

Apat na milyon na ang nagastos mo sa pagpapaganda, hindi pa rin sya bumabalik. Sana kumain ka nalang. Nagtravel. Nagvolunteer para tumulong sa mga nangangailangan. Ganun. Sumaya ka pa siguro.

2013 noong tumama ang bagyong Yolanda sa kalakhang Visayas. Mayroon itong windspeed ng 315 kms per hour. 6,340 ang namatay dahil sa matinding storm surge na dala ng bagyong ito na hindi nila napaghandaan.

Nung gabing iyon nakita mo ang tweet ni Ultimate Pag-Ibig na Magvovolunteer daw sya sa so and so relief center with his bros. So punta ka naman dun. Nakaposturang wari mo’y pupunta ka sa isang piging.

Pagkatapos ng tatlumpung minuto, Hindi pa rin dumarating si Ultimate Pag-Ibig. Kaya galit na galit kang umalis, 315kms per hour kung susukatin ang bilis. At bumulusok na parang storm surge sa Forever 21 Dala dala ang credit card ni Daddy. Lampas 6, 430 ang nacharge mo noong araw na yun.

Nagalit ang tatay mo sa laki ng ginastos mo. Katumbas na raw yun ng grocery nyo para sa dalawang linggo. Akala nya ipambibili mo ng idodonate sa nangangangailangan Kaya game na game syang ibigay. Andami daming nagugutom. Pero interesado ka lang pala sa vo-landi! Volunteering while landi-ing.

Sa galit nya tinanggalan ka nya ng cellphone at privilege lumabas ng isang buwan. Kung makareklamo ka kala mo’y political prisoner ka noong panahon ng Batas Militar. Sumulat ka rin ng mga tula at kwento tungkol sa freedom Ala- Ninoy at Joma. Noong natapos ng isang buwan, nagpasaboy ka rin ng yellow confetti palabas ng bahay Ala- EDSA 1986.

Sinulat ni Rizal sa isa sa kanyang mga tula na “Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.” Naniniwala pa rin ako dun. Wala man tayo sa panahon ng pagsakop ng mga Espanyol O sa diktadura ni ginoong Marcos, Kaliwa’t kanan pa rin ang isyu sa ating bayan. Napakarami pa ng ating kailangang bunuin.

Kaya kilos.

(Service Elevator doors open, S & A step inside)

S: So, scary Japanese schoolgirl. *checks A out*

A (looking straight ahead): And you're a good ol' fashion geek.

S: Some say we'd be perfect together.

A: Like peanut butter and jelly?

S: Like grilled cheese and tomato soup.

A: Ugh, now I want food.

S: *whispers* Wanna make out instead?

A: What? I didn't catch that.

S: Nothing. *laughs nervously* Why aren't we moving?

A: We forgot to press the button. *presses 2*

(Elevator starts moving, S presses G. Elevator doors open at 2)

S: I guess this is it. I'll see you when I see you.

A: *non-committal* See ya.

(A steps out, elevator door closes)

S: *leans head on the elevator door* I'm such an idiot.

Hi! I love you. Yes. You. I know that this might be too bold a declaration considering we barely know each other and we’ve only recently become Facebook friends. It hasn’t even been 48 hours since we first met, but I’ll say it again with much passion in my heart. I LOVE YOU. If you ask any of my friends if I’m serious about this, they’ll tell you that indeed I am. Like a fucking heart attack. Possibly to scare you to see if you’ll run away or to warn you that I do fall hard in love way too quickly with anything and everything or to see if you’ll respond positively so that maybe we can live happily ever after. I am serious though. I love you.

I love you because of the way you made eye contact with me when I entered the room and didn’t break it until after I mindlessly followed your invitation to sit beside you by the window sill and introduced yourself and asked for my name. I love you for the way you repeated my name three times after learning it as if to imprint it in your mind that I am called as such. My name as ordinary as it sounds, felt extraordinary with your voice. Love is in the way that we discussed how dangerous it is for small boats to try and traverse large oceans but it is possible. Dangerous, but possible. Just like you and me. I feel like my heart wants to spontaneously combust at the mention of car engines. I am not someone who is well versed into how a car works but oh dear Lord I came out of that conversation an expert. Expert in God knows what, I’m not entirely sure. But you know what I am sure of? You. You are the stuff of lovey dovey poetry. You are my “person next door”, my “white picket fence”, my “ice cold beers on a warm Sunday afternoon”, my “screaming at youths from our rocking chairs on the porch”. I have already pictured our forever from our short time together.

INT. BATHROOM - 3:15 AM

REMOVE ALL CLOTHING. PLACE ALL VALUABLES BY THE COUNTER. STEP IN TO THE SHOWER. TURN THE HANDLE. LET THE WATER FLOW FROM THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD TO THE SHOWER FLOOR.

He wasn't even your type. He wasn't typically handsome. In fact it took you quite a while to appreciate his looks. He didn't have broad shoulders you wished for. The strength you craved. The confidence that sweeps you off your feet. He was broken, just like you. You could hear it in the way he nervously twirls the keys in his pocket, see it in the ways he holds his drink, taste it his words, feel it when he looks at you with those sad sad eyes that mirror your own. But love, comes when you least expect it. That sounds cheesy and you abhor being cheesy. so let me scratch that thought. Love fucks you up when you're not looking. You promised yourself that this time, you'd keep your guard up, that you won't fall in love with an idea. The problem is this time, you're sure you didn't. The problem is this time, he doesn't even know you exist.

TURN OFF THE SHOWER. STEP OUT. GRAB A TOWEL. DRY YOURSELF. CHECK THE TIME ON YOUR PHONE.

Your life came in a kit: Wrapped in shiny paper, tied with big red bow. Inside was an instruction manual, Containing everything you could ever need. Easier. It was life made easier. You find it ill-fitting. Restrictive. Like a straitjacket masquerading as a ball gown.

You live in a world where the Word was the law and the law was the Word. A world of pointing fingers and pointed words like shotgun blasts (Boom. Boom. Boom.) that leave you hollow.

You feel flawed. Trapped. Alone. No room for discussions. Future already set. Suffocated.

You knew you were different. The kit was not who you were. Yet you pinched and pulled. Cut and cut deeper. Put yourself in restraints and kept all emotions in check. You hid who you were. You wanted so badly to fit in.

You hated yourself; For not fitting in, For being who you are, For thinking the way that you do, For being attracted to people you weren’t supposed to. You hated others for the same reasons.

This is dedicated for all those who swiped right, swiped left, and all the missed connections they may have made.

Dear Tinder, Skout, Blendr, OkCupid, Match.com, Grindr, etc. etc.,

I installed your apps and created profiles as a social experiment. Surprisingly, I’m having a whole lot of fun. Let’s see where this leads shall we?

Best regards, Ategirl

Dear Hot Japanese Boy-Man,

This thing where we barely understand each other is making things quite difficult.

Love,  Ategirl who swiped right

Hello Single Dad,

Your kids are really cute. Mana siguro sila sa nanay nila.

Mwah mwah, Ategirl na curious paano nangyari yun

Dear “Sapiosexual”,

I swiped right because you promised me hours of intellectual conversation, but we can’t seem to get past the trivial shit like “have you eaten?” or “are you at work?” or “how was your day?”

Best, Ategirl questioning saan banda ka sapiosexual

Dear Online Dating People,

Does anyone ever really bother reading what’s in my bio? I spent quite a bit of time getting that just right.

All my love, Ategirl hoping someone really does

Hi Really Really Cute Guy 2kms Away,

Bakit today 4237kms away ka na? Nyarebells koyang? Kakamatch lang natin kanina ah!

Sincerely,  Ategirl wondering kung tang aba ang GPS nya

Dear People on Dating Apps,

Get on with the times. We're on a hookup app for crying out loud.

Love lots, Frustrated ategirl na di ka magets

Dear Fil-Am Over for a Visit,

Ang cute cute cute mo! Pero is aka pa! Bakit ang ikli-ikli nga oras palagi? Bakit pag nagmamatch tayo nasa airport ka na?

Lovingly yours, Ategirl na malapit ng puntahan ka sa airport

Dear Girlie,

I’m Afraidy Aguilar na pag nagmeet na tayo ay ipapaanggulo nalang kita palagi tsaka magsusuot ako ng filtered lenses.

Yours, Ategirl who likes to face things head on

Dearest Man-Child,

I’m not really sure if I should believe that you’re really 22 or you just bumped up your age to seem more mature.

Thanks & best regards, Older ategirl who is afraid of being accused of statutory rape

Hey There Boy with the Strong Opening Line,

You already had me at “let’s fuck”. You should have ended it there.

Hugs & Kisses, Ategirl wondering what she’s supposed to do with your dick pic

Dearest Tinder “Couple”,

I’m not sure if uploading your wedding photo is your way of inviting me into a threesome with you or you just want to shove it to our faces that we are all single and desperate.

Best, Ategirl crossing fingers for a threesome

Dearest Online Dating,

You are an epic rollercoaster ride. I’d ride you over and over and over and over again. My vagina, thanks you.

Finnigan and Brother - Hey Kid 606, remix this (official video)

Seriously seriously obsessed with this at the moment.