Scared Of You All

me, meeting a new lesbian for the first time & trying to make conversation: ​so… do you remember where you were when you found out Natasha Lyonne was straight?

apparently some people didn’t know this I’m so sorry let’s cancel this post & let everyone live in gay ignorance

Deuteronomy 28

I wanna lose weight but I also like eating crap and lying down 

women are socialized to be so accommodating of others and you don’t even realize it until you’re already in the middle of some elaborate favor for someone and you’re wondering what the fuck you’re even doing

Plot twist: the girl you want, wants you too

OH MY GOD THOUGH

BEST COMEBACK ON ANY COMEDY PANEL SHOW EVER AND SHE’S NOT EVEN A COMEDIAN

Can she calculate the amount of cold water he needs for that burn?

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