Nothing Personal

Missing you comes in waves. Tonight I’m drowning.

Sometimes I can feel my heart beating so loud it makes everything feel hollow There’s this hole inside of me and my heart is pounding, waiting for an echo that will never answer It feels like I’m missing a part of myself I didn’t know I needed So I wrap myself in blankets and try to hold myself together because this hole you left in me is letting in the cold and I’m freezing I try to fill it with other things, like that stranger’s tongue in my mouth, cigarette smoke in my lungs, and the alcohol burning down my throat But you’re still gone, and I’m still cold That’s what losing someone feels like

I hadn’t known that a light could be a feeling and a sound could be a color and a kiss could be both a question and an answer. And that heaven could be the ocean or a person or this moment or something else entirely.

They met in winter bones frozen, hoped for sun’s warmth  to melt walls they built.