Abrahm Maslow is well known for his model of our hierarchy of needs, and I often think of it when trying to give my life direction. And yes I mean direction, it is guidelines, not blueprints.
The lowest levels must be satisfied before the upper ones can be satisfied, i.e. if you are starving to death you do not have the energy to be worried about people’s respect.
The first order is physiological needs, this is taking care of your body- you can last 3 minutes without oxygen, 3 days without water, and 3 weeks without food. You need proper sleep and rest, you must be protected from the elements, and I also believe that sex is a bodily need- think about how fucking stupid people can act when they are horny, it can be blinding (I am uncertain wether or not masturbation can substitute for sex, it can curb the symptoms of a lack of sex but it cannot go on forever).
The next order is safety needs. You need to live in an environment with stability, living in a safe neighborhood, having financial security (usually through a stable job), not having to worry about how you will take care of yourself tomorrow.
The third order is relatedness needs, how we interact with others. The way I think of it is by starting out and working your way in. I have a sense of affiliation from my university, some people get it through patriotism or sports teams, I believe affiliation to be very broad and that you do not need to know other people who share your affiliations, but when you meet someone who shares your affiliations you feel closer to them. Next is belonging, I find a sense of belonging through my fraternity, it is a community that I am a part of and feel welcome in, I may not be close with everyone but I am glad they are my brothers, some people may get their sense of belonging through something such as a church group. The next layer is friendship, people with whom you are close and open with, those who you choose to spend your free time with and enjoy life together, those who you can rely on when you hit your low points. The most intimate layer is love, there are many types of love, you can love your friends, your dog, your mother, your romantic partner, etc. the greeks noticed this and classified 4 types: storge (empathy bond), philios (friend bond), eros (romantic love), and agape (unconditional/ universal love).
The fourth level is esteem needs, and is an important of living well. It is felt when you recognize your abilities and successes, when you understand your achievements and the effort it took to reach them. It is achieved through the authentic respect of your peers, and more importantly the authentic respect for yourself. When you know what you do, and you do it well.
The fifth and final order is self actualization. It is flourishing, it is living your best life, it is achieving eudaimonia, and I believe it to be reaching a true and authentic state of happiness.
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