Notes by 19

To die in in my city it would cost a minimum of $425 for a small square plot and ~ $1150 for a polymer, air-tight container. Additional services are extra. I don't have enough for that. To die and be cremated would cost ~$245 for the kiln and another $375 for a polymer vault. I have just enough for the cremation - so that's the way it's going to be.

Landed in a home, things were weird here as well as the 'people' - the source of the booms became very apparent

Soothing lies

Well you’d be surprised to hear that there is this big-swinging professor out there that treads through creeks on head fulls of hallucinogens trying to rewrite the story of life and derive primordial truths but still arriving at the road always traveled, the same mildewed means. He even wrote a whole book of just questions he's riddled by. Chapters and chapters of only questions he can't answer and it bothers him. Huh?... is there no other way? No shortcut? It’s all the same? What’s the point of calling shots? Are all the ends the same?  ‘Alternative Science’ Pauli calls it -I could see him, alone, in a wild stream, eyes closed thinking intently visualizing fundamental patterns, scintillating ripples, droplets among a buzz of wind, along with the cold wind relearning of collisions, impacts, flow, sheens, membranes, layers, congruences, symmetries, lamellars, structures, reasons, densities, configurations, conformations, energies, heat, vibrations and charges. He was stunned that it was all the same. Misplaced spatiotemporally, we are lost in the curry.

I think it was about two years ago when I hitched a ride with a philosopher and he was blasting… and I mean BLASTING Tchaikovsky, he seemed like a very neat and organized fella - we pattered back and forth on simulation theory or something and he found likeness in my thought to Camus’ Plague and made a connection to the recent trajectory of modern philosophy to be actively evolving form from the inbent and esoteric into a creeping mold, devouring spots you wouldn’t expect and breaking boundaries from armchairs, journals, anthologies and antiquities to strange, strange positions all while still digging firmer into modern literature. Look and imitate. Choose your own adventure, or create, maybe. Philosophy is everyday now. It’s in our numbers now. Suzuki is the leftover spill that has trickled into the music… which everybody loves… not everybody loves calculus - but the thing is, calculus is our world and music is just a sensory experience…Think about it… dance is an instinct… babies even dance to music.  The Montessori of Music, in reference to traditional ‘knowledge,’ Pauli has been proven to hold-up with numbers as well.

There is war

As an aside this flow of metacognition afforded another realization: an awareness to my recent hermit-like lifestyle over the past months and thus initiated a spiraling degenerate internal dialogue... Debating whether hermic was equivalent to saying 'hermit-like' seeing as hermetic was already taken; under my own pressure, as it turned out.

Why try when I see WW3 in the headlines?

Yazek was a motherfucker, not just because he was my stepfather but because he brutally murdered my cat.