Let go of people who aren't ready to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having difficult conversations with people who don't want to change. Stop introducing yourself to people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do your best to be appreciated by those around you, but it is an impulse that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health. When you start to strive for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you to that place. This doesn't mean you have to change who you are, it means you have to let go of people who aren't ready to accompany you. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you dedicate your time to, you are not doing yourself a favor by continuing to offer them your energy and your life. The truth is, you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you. This is what makes dating with people you have mutual friendship or love with so special. You will know how precious it is because you have experienced what it is not. The more time you spend trying to make someone love you who can't, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of that connection with someone else. There are billions of people on this planet and many of them will meet you, at your level of interest and commitment.
The more you get involved with people who use you as a pillow, background option, or therapist for their emotional healing, the longer you get away from the community you want. Maybe if you stop introducing yourself, they won't look for you. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for weeks. This does not mean that you ruined the relationship, it means that the only thing that sustained it was the energy that only you gave to maintain it. This is not love, it is attachment. It is wanting to give a chance to those who don't deserve it! The most precious thing you have in your life is your time and energy, as both are limited. What you dedicate time and energy to will define your existence. When you realize this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, places or situations that do not suit you. You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, where only people "compatible" with you are allowed.
You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It's not your job to exist for people and give them your life! Because if you feel bad, if you feel obligated, you will be the root of all your problems because of your persistence, fearing that they will not return the favors you have bestowed. It is your only obligation to realize that you are the master of your own destiny and to accept the love you think you deserve. Decide that you deserve true friendship, true commitment, and complete love with healthy, prosperous people. So wait and see how much everything starts to change.
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