Not Always Friendly: Unfiltered

Just a reminder that Not Always Friendly’s Unfiltered Stories have moved! Please find us at our new home at http://Unfiltered.NotAlwaysFriendly.com!

Not Always Friendly’s Unfiltered Stories have moved! Please find us at our new home at http://NotAlwaysFriendly.com/category/unfiltered!

Streetcar stop Toronto, ON While waiting for the streetcar I am wearing my headphones and in my own little world. Whilst zoned out looking for the streetcar I failed to notice a mother trying to get passed me with a stroller. Immediately I moved out the way and apologized and the mother laughed it off. Just I put my headphones back on a furious random woman comes stomping over to me seemingly livid. Woman: IF YOU DIDN'T WEAR THOSE DAMN HEADPHONES MAYBE YOU WOULD KNOW WHATS GOING ON AROUND YOU!! Me (slightly taken aback): Sorry it I just didn't see them Woman: OF COURSE YOU DIDNT WHEN YOUR EARS ARE HEARING 20,000 DECIBELS ALL THE TIME! YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND YOU She goes to have another go at me but I just raise my hand to her face to stop her from going on another ridiculous rant. Me: Right, OK!! The woman then looks around her for somebody to back her up- no-one looks at her and seems in their own little worlds just like me. Seconds later she backed away looking defeated. An old lady near was having trouble holding back her giggles because it was such a stupid thing to get upset about. Moments later I got the streetcar and I saw her still muttering and shaking her head about it to someone next to her. Took all my energy to not tell that lady to get a life! What's even funnier is that it didnt even happen to her.

Parking Lot New York, NY, USA (I'm not a native of New York and have only been there two or three times in my entire lifetime. I'm visiting a childhood friend who had moved there twelve years ago when I see something insanely weird.) Me: Did you see that? Friend: See what? Me: Some guy just skateboarded by in a bloodstained banana costume with what looked like a headless ventriloquist dummy stuffed in a backpack! Friend: Oh yeah, that guy. I think he's a performance artist at that weird installation down the street. I see him and his friends come by once a week. Me: Wait, this stuff is normal here? Friend: Yep. Welcome to New York!

home Anchorage, Alaska (I am texting one of my best guy friends, gossiping about someone at my school who sleep with a LOT of girls. I am a girl.) Me: "He's such a sl*t omg." Friend: "omg." Me: "Tbh I would be one as well if I were hotter." Friend: "Awww, don't worry, you could be a sl*t now." (Hands down the best compliment I've ever received.)

Not Always Friendly’s Unfiltered Stories have moved! Please find us at our new home at http://NotAlwaysFriendly.com/category/unfiltered!

Bank USA (I was 6 year old girl, and my mom makes me wait in line at the bank with her. Being 6, I horse around with the velvet rope dividers, and get caught and fall down. Mom goes quickly to pick me up. We're Hispanic.) Mom: *in Spanish* "Did you hurt your pee pee?" (I shake my head and a man next to her smiles creepily.) Man: *in Spanish* "Pee pee...little girls don't have them! Hahaha!" (He leers at me and Mom whisks me away. I didn't get why, but now I do.)

Text Message Houston, TX My brother recently asked me to shoot some engagement photos for him. It's been a couple years since I've done any "real" photography, so I decided to ask a few friends if I could practice on them. Me: "Would you and [husband] be interested in helping me with a little project?" Friend: "Sure." (Most of my other friends have asked what the project was before blindly agreeing, so I decided to have a little fun.) Me: "Ok, I'm going to need all of your organs." *long pause* Friend: "My interest has waned."

Street England, UK (My friend and I were walking up my road on the way home from school and there was a dog in one of the windows as we passed. Note: The dog was quite large) Friend: Awww cute doggie! (As soon as she said this the dog barked really loudly) Friend: *jumps in shock* S***! That literally made me jump! Not so cute doggie... (We giggled all the way to my house!)

Home PA, USA (My friends and I are discussing drinks we enjoy, and the topic has focused on fine, expensive scotch whiskeys.) Friend 1: I usually have a bottle of 18-year-old scotch on hand at all times. Friend 2: I've always found that a 10-year-old scotch whiskey tastes better than older varieties. Me: I dunno, I've had a really good 12-year-old before. Friend 1: Dude! Phrasing!

Online USA (I'm talking about 2 very close friends (to each other, not me) to another friend.) Me: They met when they were 3 and 4 years old and grew up together. (Etc.. I often gave their ages that way several times more.) Friend: Wait, why do you always say 3 and 4 years old or 8 and 9 years old. You mean like 3 or 4? Approximate? Me: No, it's exact. That's their ages. Friend: 3 and 4 is two ages, you can't be both 3 and 4 years old. Me: Think? Friend: What do you mean? I'm 24. I can't be both 24 and 25 years old. Me: You're one person... Friend: (sends big eye smiley) Ohhh! So they are one year apart in age. Me: Yes.

Shops Brisbane qld Acquaintance: So when are you getting married? Me: The end of the month Acquaintance: No. When are you getting married? Me: the end of the month Acquaintance: what day? Me: the 30th Acquaintance: oh, so the end of the month

Back garden of house we were thinking of buying, U.K My husband and I were planing to move house, we had seen one which we thought was possibly suitable. Wanting to check some measurements, and having my parents staying with us, we took them with us to have a second viewing, as we wanted to hear what they thought. As we walked round in doors, I could sense they were not impressed, but they both made no comment in front of the owners. Having seen inside we went out into the small somewhat battered garden, not surprising with three small boys, and stood around talking. My Mother who is always polite, and looking for something to say, turned to the father of the boys and asked about a small apple tree in the center of the grass. Were the apples sweet or were they cookers. He walked in doors and came back with a plate and a knife. He then picked an apple, cut it in pieces, took out the core and then stood in front of us and ate it all before replying the apples were sweet. I shared my parents view of the house and was glad we didn't buy it.

Home Germany (A few friends and I spent the weekend together and watched videos on YouTube... After „10 facts about masturbation” we talked about the longest masturbation time.) Friend 1: “How can you masturbate 9 hours straight?! After 30 minutes you already get a cramp!” Me: “How do you know? You already tried?” Friend 1: “You’d like to know that?” Me: “Of course!” (Everyone laughing…)

High School Cleveland, OH (Several of my friends are discussing Holst's "The Planets", an orchestral piece with several parts. My best friend that I've known for years and I enjoy it, but we don't really know enough about it to join the conversation. We are both females.) Friend 1: "I really like "Mercury". I think that's my favorite." Friend 2: "Oh really? "Mars" is my favorite." (I think of something really dirty and lean over to my friend.) Me: *quietly, in a goofy voice* "I really like Uranus!" (She grins.) Best Friend: *equally quietly and goofily* "Aww thanks, I polished it this morning!" (We break into hysterical laughter and everyone else gives us a weird look. We're such lowbrows.)

Church PA, USA (I love spicy food and have been eating it since I was a toddler. As such, I have a high tolerance for it. I notice that someone brought a snack containing habanero peppers to our weekly bible study meeting.) Friend #1: Hey, [my name], check out what's on the snack table today! Me: Sweet! I gotta try that! (I eat one and then make a disappointed face.) Friend #1: What's wrong? Me: It's a little disappointing. I was expecting it to be spicy. Friend #2: It's not? Let me try. (She eats one, instantly starts screaming, and then quickly gulps down some of the half and half that we have for coffee because it's the closest thing we have to milk.) Friend #2: You don't think that's spicy?! Me: Well to be fair, I ate food saturated with ghost pepper sauce once and only got a runny nose while my dad had trouble breathing and my sister couldn't get past a single bite. Friend #1: [My name], I think you have the most amazing superpower ever. (I ended up eating the entire bag because I was the only one in the group who could tolerate the heat. On the plus side, they did get a little hotter the more I ate them.)

Home England (I am messaging my friend on a Sunday and she is telling me about her new favourite band) Friend: Oh my gosh [band] is amazing!!! It's a shame I can't show you their songs... Oh yeah I can! I can email links to you! (I don't like my friend emailing me links because my internet is pretty slow and they take ages to load) Me: You could always just show me tomorrow you know... Friend: Tomorrow...? Me: At school? Friend: Oh s**t... School... Me: Did you actually forget? Friend: Yeah, for a minute... Thanks for ruining my day! Me: Haha, sorry!