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Foreigners tend to assume that the big cultural confusions between Australians and most other countries are gonna be based on our food, or social services, or weather, or weird animals. But it’s never that. In my experience, the real cultural confusions re: Australians are about The Respect Thing almost one hundred per cent of the time.
? I realize im proving your point but what
The broader Australian culture doesn’t, as a whole, have status-based respect. Some individual groups might, because they’ve brought it from other cultures they’re involved in, but the general culture doesn’t. There’s no sense that your boss or scout leader or the guy in charge of your country deserves more respect than you, or that you should behave differently to them than you would to any random person you know similarly well. (The very rare exceptions include ritualised settings, such as courtrooms, and for some reason the fact that children use “Miss/Ms/Mr” honourifics for teachers at school.)
I don’t mean Australians are a “stick it to the man, fight back against those in power” kind of people – we’re generally not. And I don’t mean we have a “we’re going to do the status thing but pretend we don’t and pretend to all be equal in mixed company” thing that middle-class Americans do. I mean the status-respect system does not exist, and if you try to use it, it weirds people the fuck out at best, and insults them at worst. Treating someone most countries would say is ‘above’ you differently in Australia is basically telling that person that you hate them; it’s saying “I’m forced to interact with you due to our current circumstances but I don’t see you as a person and won’t grant you the basic respect of treating you like an equal”. (When I was in America, I was constantly suppressing the instinct that random service people were sassing me because they overuse honourifics and were so keen to help me.)
This makes interacting with foreigners really baffling in a lot of circumstances. In university, my international friends would often describe Australians as “friendly, but very rude”. They thought we were all arseholes because of the way we spoke to our PhD supervisors and soforth, and wouldn’t believe us when we explained that our behaviour was respectful and that being deferential would be weird and awkward and insulting to them. Learning Japanese had a similar problem; everyone in the class could get the concept of different levels of formality and deference in language, ans was happy to memorise the usage of various words for Japanese people, but using them on each other was super weird, and we’d only ever use the most casual form of anything unless specifically instructed otherwise by the teacher.
The reason I’ve been thinking of this lately is because I’ve recently become aware that a lot of countries have like… a special respect for their country’s leaders? I don’t just mean “yeah, that guy makes the rules”, but that having that office makes them better than everyone else, somehow. Which I expect from countries with royal families, because Tradition, but I’ve recently found that Americans feel this way about their President, too. (Except the current one, who seems to be enough of a dick to break the system.) Like, if six Americans were in an aeroplane that was going down and there was only one parachute and one of the Americans was A Generic Non-Trump President, it’s just assumed that that guy gets the parachute? Like he’s automatically the life worth saving over the others, and they’d just give up their chance in favour of him? And that’s so weird to me. An Australian prime minister would have a 1 in 6 chance at the parachute; however the people decided, “this guy happens to be the leader of the country” wouldn’t be a factor.
When Americans don’t like a President, they usually feel the need to work in how he’s “not my president”, either through sheer denial, or by finding some way he’s theoretically illegitimate (different ways votes are counted, wild conspiracy theories about birth country, etc.), and while making sure those rules are obeyed IS extremely important, I’ve recently noticed that part of the motivation seems to be that they’re invested in whether he’s Really The President because being the President somehow makes someone Special rather than just a normal dick who’s been put in charge of the group project. (You see the same thing in “THIS IS TRUMP’S AMERICA!”, like him becoming President gives him superpowers or something).
This is getting off-topic. Point is, in Australia you can run into the Prime Minister and ask him to help you fix your phone and if he’s not busy but refused to help you out he’d be kind of a dick; of course he should help you out. And if I walk into your restaurant and you act like I’m a movie star and you’re going to be super attentive to my every need because I’m The Customer, I’m gonna get creeped out. We’re suspicious and insulted by what most people in the world consider to be basic manners, and vice versa. And it makes interacting with foreigners super weird because I always feel like they’ve got some invisible heirarchical flowchart in the back of their minds that I don’t.
I have long noticed that Americans have absolutely the same cultural attitude to the President as they would to a serving monarchy. They just think they don’t on a technicality.
Can confirm that if I call someone ‘Sir/Madam’ I generally mean ‘asshole’ (unless talking to an animal or tiny child) and that if I get called Ma’am I feel like I’m being called the asshole, which made time in Atlanta, Georgia suoer weird.
Australians have a very good attitude to respect
…so this explains why I have spent the last fourteen years low-grade pissed off at nearly every Australian I meet, because every time I try to be American Polite at them it pisses them off. And, for that matter, why my second boss here, the one I was so careful to be Formally Respectful of and always called “sir,” took such an intense dislike to me.
Yeah, even if that boss understood that you were American and what that meant, their instincts would’ve been screaming at them the whole time that you were being a dick. It’s a difficult thing for us to get used to even when we know the culture is different’.
As a Brit visiting Australia, the most vivid experience I had of this is: in the UK it’s really uncool to get into the passenger seat of a cab - you’re expected to get in the back. In Australia the reverse was apparently true.
… I am only just now realising that inAmerican and British movies and stuff, people don’t get in the passenger seat of a taxi.
"There's no thought crimes and no thought heroisms" is honestly such a good piece of life advice.
You could be having the most fucked up problematic thoughts 24/7 but if you treat people with kindness, the good you do is the only thing that matters. But if you have only the purest thoughts and all the correct beliefs, it doesn't matter one bit if you spend most of your time being an asshole to people.
#fandom needs this one
God there really is a Terry Pratchett quote for everything
Discworld Heritage Post

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That Which Even the Clouds Cannot Hide by Not_So_Austen
M, 30k words, Complete
Summary: David Hollander never went to the cottage. Ilya and Shane's secret was never discovered, though their plan remained the same. Keeping their relationship secret went well until an accident leaves Yuna stranded and Ilya is the only person Shane knows who is close enough to help her. With a storm raging overhead and phone troubles to stymie the way, Yuna and Ilya wind up stuck together for a night as they wait out the storm. Secrets aren't so easy to hide when you have too little cover.
Excerpt:
The temperature outside seemed to have dropped further since Ilya had arrived. The chill bit through his clothes and pricked at his skin underneath. Beside him, Yuna shivered, her good hand reaching up to rub at her injured one, trying to warm herself up. There was a news crew to one side, out of the way of emergency services, but close enough to make Ilya feel paranoid as a woman spoke into a microphone, her hair whipping in the wind. Ilya tugged his hat down lower and, with a hand to Yuna’s uninjured shoulder, he guided them both well clear of the shot. They came to a stop in the shadows a few yards from the emergency room entrance and Yuna shivered again, her entire body rocking with it. Shrugging out of his jacket, Ilya gripped it by the collar and held it out to her in offering.
Yuna looked at the jacket, then up to Ilya’s face. “I’m not taking your jacket, Rozanov.”
“I am offering,” he said, giving the garment an insistent little shake.
“It’s freezing out here,” she said. “You’ll freeze.”
“I am Russian,” he told her. “We do not feel cold.”
The look she levelled at him was unimpressed and just as unbelieving.
“We won’t make it three blocks in this weather,” Yuna said, with a shake of her head, another shiver rocking through her. “Put your jacket back on.”
“You want me to tell Shane his mother was fine until I took her outside and let her die of the cold?” Ilya asked. “Take the jacket.”
Yuna’s nose wrinkled, but she let Ilya settle it over her shoulders, and she clutched it around her with her good hand.
“We should go back inside,” Yuna said, sounding resigned. “There are no taxis, no Ubers, we can’t walk in this storm. You tried, but we’ll have to wait it out.”
“Is not so far,” Ilya said, though even he didn’t believe his words.
“In this weather it is,” Yuna countered, turning her head towards him. “I think this storm has caused enough trouble for me, I’d rather not risk another round.”
“Excuse me,” a soft, lisping voice came from the roadside. “Do you two kids need a ride home?”
“Kids–?” Yuna started, but Ilya cut her off with an enthusiastic, “Yes, we do!”
“I’m headed towards town,” the old lady continued, gesturing with a shaking hand. “If you want me to drop you off somewhere, we’ll have to leave now, before the storm hits.”
“We will come, thank you,” Ilya said, taking a large step forward, following her towards the small, bright yellow car parked close to the hospital’s entrance. But his progress was stalled when Yuna grabbed his arm, her fingers curling into the thick fabric of Ilya’s coat. Ilya stopped and looked down at where her hand was squeezing like a vice around his bicep.
“You want to get into a stranger’s car?” Yuna whispered, her voice hushed and urgent. “We don’t know anything about her.”
“She is little old Canadian woman,” Ilya said, raising a hand in the direction of the elderly lady in question. “What is she going to do, kidnap us? She is one hundred and three years old, I think we can take her.”
Yuna’s expression was pinched, but she relaxed her grip on Ilya’s arm. “That’s not the point.”
“Point is we get somewhere warm before storm gets too bad, yes?” Ilya raised his eyebrow in question. “Or we spend night sitting on floor of hospital waiting room.”
With a sigh, Ilya pulled out his phone again and snapped a photo of the old lady’s vehicle, focusing on the licence plate. “Here,” he said, tilting the screen towards Yuna so she could watch as he sent the photo in his message thread with Shane.
“If you don’t hear from us in ten minutes,” Yuna murmured, reading the words as Ilya typed them on the keypad, “little old lady is murderer.”
With a sigh of her own, Yuna raised her eyebrows at him. “Really?”
Ilya shrugged. “You want, I ask him to avenge us? I do not know if I trust Shane with that: he cannot even chirp well.”
“Some people are above that,” Yuna replied, straightening her posture, though from the look on her face, Ilya wondered if she was remembering the time he threw down with Scott Hunter, just like Ilya was. Yuna looked over at where the old woman was looking at them from her open door. “Alright. Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Fine. Let’s just go.”
catching up on 911 and I have to say I'm very invested in whatever it is that and Eddie and that priest have got going on...
I'm so sorry. I just wanted to write some one shots. It was supposed to be under 3k. I think it's gonna be close to 10k. I can't do this.
it's freaking 11k. a silly little modern au that's 11k. I am so sorry
I'm so sorry. I just wanted to write some one shots. It was supposed to be under 3k. I think it's gonna be close to 10k. I can't do this.
tbh sometimes idek if i want to be involved in fandom anymore in the state it's in now

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Sorry, gang. I once again reblogged some cool art and, upon checking out their blog discovered that they were an antishipper. So I've since deleted my reblog and now I pray for new desus and michandrea art to appear on my dash that does not support the downfall of fandom community.
I made the poor decision to look at the bookmarks on some of my WIPs. Someone put In the Ruins of You in a bookmark collection for "OC and Self-Insert Style Fics" and I am having a crisis. If you have read this fic, please for the love of Paul "Jesus" Rovia, vote below. I need to know if I should review this entire thing and rewrite it without whatever it is that makes it read this way, because it very much was not intended.
Does this fic read like an OC or Self-Insert story?
Yes, it does
No, it does not
Idk idc
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH FROM MY FAVORITE BAD BITCH AND ALL HIS MEN.
DARK ANGEL 1.17 Pollo Loco

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Dixon, come and get your man, he’s being weird in my drafts.
Unconventional
T, 4.7K, Complete
Summary: Daryl just wanted to get one of Judith's drawings signed by her favourite TV star. Meeting Paul 'Jesus' Rovia turned into an experience Daryl could never have predicted.
Excerpt:
Rovia’s eyes were wide and bright, and his lips curved into a slow, lazy smile. A pen pressed to the plump flesh of his lower lip and the air in the room seemed to increase by several degrees in an instant. Sweat prickled at the back of Daryl’s neck and beaded across his brow. His arm twitched in an aborted motion to wipe at it.
“Nice picture,” Rovia said, lips moving around his smile. “Did you draw it yourself?”
Daryl exhaled heavily through his nose. The back of his neck itched something fierce and his hackles rose. “My niece drew it. Likes you for some goddamn reason I don’t know.”
It was only once the words had fallen out of him, riding on a turbulent wave of agitation, that Daryl had the clarity to realise his own misstep. If he got kicked out of the convention before the picture had been autographed, Judith would be crushed. But Rovia’s smile only widened and he ducked his head as he let out a laugh, quiet and breathy. Long hair fell over his shoulders, silky as a shampoo commercial, the kind of thing that might make a weaker man want to reach out and brush it back behind Rovia’s ears. But not Daryl, no matter the strange itch in hands that wanted to rise of their own accord.