Wade a minute.

“Yes, it does, but it makes you sound old and makes me sound like a child,” she says, then lets out a laugh. “Do you have any pictures on you? And she knows Clint? Psh, she’ll see that I’m obviously the better Hawkeye. She’ll totally want to spend more time with me. And you’re just off being Wade. Make more time for your daughter?”

“I am old. You are not a child though, so whippersnapper is nixed I guess, ah, time sure flies. I totally make time for Ellie, I pick her up for school, okay no, I don’t I sort of do? We meet like a block away from her school so people don’t know I’m her dad but it works. Sorta. I guess. I have a picture but she doesn’t look the same. I mean. It was taken when she was nine so you’re better off not know--wait I do have a more recent picture.” Wade pulls out his phone, scrolling through his images before holding up a picture of Ellie. “That’s her!”

“…’Pitty’…”

“Puppies are cute and should all be described with cute words.” Wade nods sagely. 

“I know.” Harry edged a little closer to Wade, not close enough to touch, but close enough that proximity.

Wade looked over at Harry, just turning his head slightly and raising his eyebrows at him, “how’re you holding up? I mean, you’re on the floor so not well, but I figured I should ask in case this is all a ruse for business purposes or something.”

“Don’t call me whippersnapper,” is the first thing she says, then lets out a small laugh. It used to be a challenge for her to follow along, but she’s pretty much got a handle on this now. To be honest, he’s probably rubbed off on her a little bit. “Okay, do you have pictures? I want to meet her!” 

“But whippersnapper has such a nice ring to it, the best ring, like, the ring I’d put on a thing I want to keep kind of ring. I have tons of pictures, and weekend custody, you can meet Ellie-Belly she’ll probably scream at me about it, since she already knows the other Hawkeye. Which, isn’t fair honestly, why does other Hawkeye spend more time with her than I do?”

“How can trauma be cute?” She starts, before she pieces together what he says. “Wait, you have a daughter? How come I didn’t know about this sooner! I could’ve had a cousin to play with! What’s her name, what does she look like, can I meet her?” 

“Lucky’s is, what a cute pup, the cutest of pups.” Wade pauses, screwing up his face and pretending to think, hard, “Um....yes? Okay hold up whippersnapper, I just found her! Again. I just found her, again, I mean I’ve found her before, she was 9 at the time and now she’s like. Not. Very not 9, she’s a highschooler, she’s a high thing, she’s not high, but she’s in highschool? That sounds like a bad slogan for hugs not drugs. Uh. Hugs not drugs? Ellie is a precious little thing who is also the prettiest thing ever.”

“…’Booties’…” James repeated, confused. Cap cocked his head, equally confused.

“Booties.” Wade nodded definitively. “Like, little feetsy covers for puppies with grips on them. They even warm the little pads of his pitty paws.” Wade raised his hands and made a wiggly fingered gesture that meant ‘booties’ apparently.

“…Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Harry did indeed scooch over, albeit with a small sigh. “Happy Holidays, Wade.”

“What’s up Kiddo? You’re sitting on the floor like a putz, that’s not the seat of champions. By the way? Your security, for people who don’t like letting me into the building are really good at giving me the stank eye.”

“What? Please, he loves it.” She protests, before frowning. “He’s not traumatized, just getting used to it.” And then she freezes. “Ellie? I don’t think I have.” She can’t remember meeting anyone recently by that name. 

“Trauma, that dog is suffering from acute trauma, as in trauma that is cute. What a cute pup. Ellie is also a cute pup, but in human form, she is a cute human, she is also part human, wait, no. She is part me. And whole human. Kind of like milk. 2 percent. No wait. 50 percent me? Only she’s too cute for that.”

“Toxic Waste? And where were you wandering that you just happen to fall into a vat of toxic waste?”

“...The Canadian wilderness?”

“Huh?”

“I said happy holidays, jeez, c’mon Osborn, scootch over.”

James physically carried his dog along the icy sidewalk. “Yeah, Cap, I know.”

“That’s a big dog, that is a big dog. You should get it booties.”

“Always young avatar, always, what have you got for me?”

“What, don’t you think he looks adorable?” Kate leans down, ruffling Lucky’s hair. The poor dog looks completely baffled, standing there in a purple winter coat, a purple hat on his head, and purple boots on his paws. “He’s adorable, look at him, he loves it!” She beams up at the person, curls bouncing as she stands up to her full height. 

“Kate, what have you done to this poor puppy, he looks traumatized. Alsoooo....have you met Ellie?”

“Then however did you get them? They look quite fierce.”

“Well you see, I was wondering around one day when oops I fell into a vat of toxic waste.”

‘I’m gonna eat me some Count Chocula,’ Ellie says, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. She rummages through the cupboards for a bowl and giggles as her dad’s voice carries through to the kitchen. ‘No, I haven’t met your friend Matty,’ she projects her voice back to him. ‘Do I want to seeing as consumption reminded you of him?’ 

Wade watched her go to the kitchen and smiled because yes, good, his daughter was comfortable and familiar and home, even if she was going to eat all of his Count Chocula, seriously how much food could this girl put away? But that’s not the point. “Yes you want to meet Matty, he’s a gift to this earth...sorta, he’s not actually like a literal gift, he is not an alien, he is however a lawyer. And blind. You’ll love him I promise.” 

‘I am enlightened,’ she grins as he ruffles her hair. ‘Oh Count Chocula, the most delicious vampire ever!’ Ellie glances over the rim of the bowl and on cue her stomach grumbles. She pats it soothingly and puts on the worst Transylvanian accent the world has ever heard. ‘I vant to eat your cereal.’ 

“Good, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I had a kid who honestly believed that hipsters weren’t the cause of global warming, probably cry myself to sleep from the worry. People would think I have consumption.” He grins, “speaking of consumption, have you met my friend Matty? Not that he has consumption, it just made me think of him.” Wade nods gravely, “yes, Count Chocula is the most delicious. As opposed to Dracula, who’s dead, and also awful. Did I ever tell you about--oh. Hey Ellie-Belly? You have a step mom.”

‘When you tell big whoopers like that, even the Avatar can’t help you.’ Ellie groans and covers her face in embarrassment. ‘Ewww, grrroosssss dad. You know what I mean! I can’t believe you just said that. I can’t believe I’m still referencing it.’

“Excuse, what kind of daughter are you, run with the cons Ellie-Belly, first rule of father-daughter bonding time, no making your daddy look like a fool, he succeeds all on his lonesome. Besides what would my loyal fanbase of weird beards say if they thought I had a sidekick who was making me look bad? Nothing good I can tell you that. Hey! You do this to yourself young lady, I can’t believe you’ve seen Wolverine’s bone.”