Title

You angered a witch, and in retaliation, she transformed you into an unmovable tree in a public park. Months later, she returns with the sinister hope of reveling in your suffering, only to find that you are not only surviving but thriving and happier than ever before.

You've gotten so good at living as a tree you decide to mock the witch by dropping a branch on them then proceeding to laugh in the wind at them.

BREAKING NEWS: Writer discovers for the millionth time that they can write whatever they want. Join us now to see if the lesson will stick.

Sorry, I was in the middle of criticising my writing. Did you say something?

"I confuse myself!"

When you turn a certain age, you get to choose the age you die. But the older the age the more brutal the death will be. Somehow, you find a loophole, but your punishment is even worse for the discovery.

So I can't set the date in the past but when I put in a date it asks me to confirm so if I just wait until that date passes to hit confirm I can cheat the system!