Noowts

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

Wrong, Ogres are like onions

hey so we added an option to this game. it's a weapon that's stronger than other weapons but it comes with a big drawback. not to worry though! if you get this build option, you can ignore the drawback entirely. wait. actually we have to balance the weapon around ignoring the drawback, so we're making it less strong. wait. now the ability to ignore the drawback is just an arbitrary tax for using a weapon that isn't meaningfully better than alternatives. wait---

Do not fall for the grindset mentality; jerk off and eat a hot pocket to recover spiritually

I resent just how fucking accurate this shitpost is, congratulations OP, you effectively illustrated how Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection became accepted by the wider public using a FUCKING MUPPETS MEME, here is your A+, get the hell out of my office

constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.

I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!

"well except for the part where everyone else will also be trying to kill you, there's also the fat thing, but that's not as much as a turn off for some people"

Fuck man that's too funny, I swear the sauce smear has more calories