“It’s better to have nobody than to have someone who is half there, or doesn’t want to be there.”
— Angelina Jolie (via purplebuddhaquotes)
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@noominggo
“It’s better to have nobody than to have someone who is half there, or doesn’t want to be there.”
— Angelina Jolie (via purplebuddhaquotes)

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i guess im alwysa posting when im at the lowest. should post more happy posts!
*only positive vibes*
For that bad 10% that you do unto others, the rest of the 90% that you do good unto them are often forgotten. May we forgive one another. May we be sincere. May we alwys have good thoughts. 🤗
Selfish
Sometimes we are just so selfish of ourselves that we don't think about others. Earlier on I went out with Ada. We had quite a bit of deep conversation until at one point her pov struck me. I told her this: I feel like living alone. Have an apartment and just be independent. Just do your things yourself without having pressured by your surrondings. And she said: I would love to do the same but I'd rather not while I still can live with my family. That. It just struck me. How selfish am I to think living alone would do justice for myself and people around me. Why don't we live the moment while you still can? Why don't cherish the people who afterall live and brought you up? We human have to stop running away from problems and face it. It's not going to be easy because there's always somebody that you have to please/repay their kindness. And that makes me somewhat feel like I'm a burden to them. Tonight I feel meh. Have been very sensitive lately. I dont know why, I just feel empty. No motivation, no inspiration, nothing. I hope things get better soon 😞
confused
sometimes you're gem but sometimes you're just meh sometimes you make me feel like a princess but sometimes i feel like a lampost sometimes you are so caring but sometimes you make me feel like shit sometimes you do sweet things but sometimes you break your promises you, i really dont know why i stick around. it has been 3 yrs and i am really clueless of what I am to you. Are we friends or are we more than that? You text me with morning messages everyday like as if we're couple. You call me Intan like as if I'm your gem. I stalked your ex. Stalked her cuz I wanted to know abt your relationship with her. You never told me much abt her but I had my ways to know. Ex; I thought being an ex to someone means you can't even bear to be arnd her like friends. How is that possible that you are still friends with an ex? At least for me, i believe that ex-es cant be friends cuz they've once dated. It's either you're dating her or not contacting at all. Being friends with your ex would say so much abt your status. It's almost like expecting her to come back. Knowing that she still goes diving with you although not just the two of you, the time spent could be smth special for the both of you. who knows? i am worried about this cuz I worry I might fall any deeper for you. i wanna qn you : Did/Are you making me your second choice to fill that empty void in your heart? Cuz dear handsome, i am a very sensitive and loyal person who sticks to one and only one. I wanna know if im one of your girls that you're using just like how my collegue is using her boy friends- using them like cars, test driving them to see which suits her better? I don't do it to you (having multiple conversations with girls) so I hope you dont do unto me. I also dont wanna be selfish to run away frm you just because im confused with our status. If you really do like me, tell me right now. I'd learn to love you more with confidence. Don't toy with my feelings cuz it hurts crazy bad. If you wanna just be friends with me dont ever use any words/emojis that could make me feel like as though you are flirting around with me. Don't make me feel special. Don't text me everyday. Don't ask me out to somewhere special. Don't make your sister invite me for family occassions cuz I dont belong there. You dont know how much it hurts to be around your family members acting happy and excited when you actually feel so lost and awkward. If you let me know now that you are not interested on going further with this status at least I could start distancing myself. To save myself from loving you too much. Loving someone who's heart doesnt sync with mine. At least it's much easier to let go when we stop spending so much time for each rather then waiting around till my heart blooms too much for you. i need to know. i need to save myself frm loving too much. Help me handsome. 😔

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Empty Promises
You and your words are so believable that I waited. First I wait and wait and then still waiting and till now I waited to a point that I can't trust your careless words. Not a person who would ask for things that you've promised to do cuz I believe it's something that one has to hold the responsiblity of carrying it out. Yesterday, you said you'll call me. But you didn't. I gave you chance and made an excuse for you thinking that you'd be tired from the hospital. Fine. Today again, you told me the same but you never did. At this time Im typing, you texted me. You asked: kamu dah tidur? hmmmmmmmmmmmm should i ans you? why now?!?? anw it's not just abt this two days that he broke his words. There were a couple of times when you told me you're gonna treat me Caroussel, bring me to Arnolds, bring me to G-max, bring me to the sushi place blablabla. Me being forgetful doesnt mean I can't rmbr shit. I do for some reason being selective of what I rmbr. Especially when someone promises smth. So pls I urge people to only promise things that you can afford doing! Don't make people expect smth frm you that's never they going to get!
That’s what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.
Arundhati Roy (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
(via aureat)
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou (via naturaekos)

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Intimacy
is not entirely physical. It's the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul
John Green's
Maybe there's something you are afraid to say, or someone you are afraid to love or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt. because it matters
Not fated
On Tues night after work I was surprised by an email I received from NTU. It was my application result. And as per blog's title, I was not fated to be in NTU for the acad year. Disappointed- that was what I felt at that moment. My heart almost dropped. Actually I was more disappointed that I couldn't make my parents proud. They really want to see me in NTU- a school well recognised and perhaps could be a less burden due to subsidised school fees. I haven't informed them of the results and I don't know how to.
This is at Masjid Nabawi, Madina taken after Subuh prayers. Love watching the retractable umbrella opens to cover us from the scorching sun.

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snapchat on Mekah
Snapchat is not that bad afterall. so thankful for this because I get to see daily updates of Mekah at the comfort of my bed. Followed mkh.111 and they always post beautiful pictures and videos of Mekah and it sometimes make me teary. I just did awhile ago watching it. 😢 I really miss being there. Mekah/Madina should really win the title "Happiest cities on Earth" No where on Earth have I felt at peace and happy! I miss when the azan goes off on the sound system blarring for the whole city to call for prayer. It's just so beautiful seeing people closing their shops temporarily, running to the mosque to proceed with the jemaah prayers. We all stop with our things to pray to the Almighty. I miss when the imam starts to read the surah. I miss how good the people around me smelled(minyak attar). I miss the kebabs. I miss the way shop owners call us "HAJJAH, masuk lihat" and entice us to buy their goods. I miss communicating with the shop owners who speaks bahasa so fluid like running tap water. I miss the heat during Ramadan which I tried so hard not to complain. I miss drinking air zam2 from the dispenser. Mekah is really so beautiful and Madinah is no less too!! Can't wait to be there again hopefully insha Allah for Ramadan next year! also Dear future husband, I hope we can spend our first trip together doing Umrah. In sha Allah amin.
that day when he indirectly tell me that I'm fat. Handsome, you are no less ok. but you still handsome 😭