What if the photos are not of another man but about a much younger Tony? They are private shots, never seen by anyone but friends and family. He edits out his face of course and throws in a few filters in order to sell the real vintage as a fake one.
He used to dance, too, so heās got some shirtless shots from his portfolio. He selects a few, the best ones, those that are enough to get Peter hooked and fills the rest of his account with images of a life heās forgotten how to live.
Tony posts a picture of his private pool, then actually lounges by its side when Peter starts messaging him. He knows that everyone posts about their coffee, so he puts on the best disguise that comes into mind - baseball hat and sunglasses - and goes to a cute coffee shop. He ends up staying, talking to Peter and enjoying the lively buzz of the place.
Peterās pictures inspire him, too. The boy rarely posts selfies, but he shares all the geeky stuff he finds. They make Tony smile more that anything else. He thinks hard about how to include science humour into the persona heās constructed for himself. Or rather, for @tobyclark.
He buys new sunglasses and remarks that itās a pity they arenāt smart glasses. Then, he gets his hand on a T-shirt with Superman on it and asks if anyone can tell him which issue of the comic is the picture taken from. Peter can, of course and after that discussion, Peter needs no more encouragement to be his adorably geeky self with Tony.
Itās not long before Peter proposes to meet. At first Tony deflects it easily. Heās shown himself as a rich business boy after all, so his excuses are easily created and accepted. The idea haunts Tony, though, because he knows that he canāt put it off forever. Nor does he want to, but revealing himself is out of the question. He couldnāt survive the look of disgust and disappointment on Peterās face. Nor his polite friendliness, because heās sure that the kid would try and remain kind towards him. No. His pity would kill Tony.
The idea that heāll have to disappear and hurt Peter weighs heavily on him. Tony tries his best to ignore it as he chats with Peter almost all day every day now, but it only gets worse. Mainly, because they are long past the point of casual conversation. Yes, the pictures they post are still glimpses of their persona, but their texts have become more personal, intimate even, sometimes.
Tony curses himself daily as his birthday is approaching for having started this. Heās turning forty-nine. Thatās almost fifty. Heās an old man, a despicable, dirty old man, perving on a teenager, seducing him by lies and preparing to leave him now that their relationship has started to be uncomfortable for him. Tonyās self-hatred flares up at the thought and one early morning, after another sleepless night, he deletes his profile without even saying goodbye to Peter.
Itās selfish, more selfish than their whole relationship has been, but Tony is unable to lie to Peter about not wanting him or having found someone else. He doesnāt think he could do it, anyway, because he is in love with the boy. The pain he feels at abandoning the only kind of relationship he could ever have with the boy and the guilt that eats away at him every second are punishment - but they donāt even come close to what he deserves for doing this to Peter.
Tony would want nothing more than call off his birthday celebration, but heās too depressed to come up with arguments that could convince Pepper. So, when the day comes, he baths and gets dressed and drags himself down to the living area. He almost doubles back when he glimpses Peter. The boyās standing alone in one corner, his eyes red rimmed and his expression miserable, despite the effort he makes every few seconds to smile. He keeps checking his phone, when he thinks no one is watching.
Itās all Tony can do not to walk over to him and tell him everything. Instead, he beelines to the bar and orders a scotch. Heās downed three before he feels up to take the turn of the room and talk to people. There arenāt that many, Pepper listened to him when he asked for a private party, but in his current state itās still too much.
He knows that he canāt ignore Peter forever, he just doesnāt have any idea how to talk to the boy. He catches Peterās gaze once. At first they both freeze, but then Peter smiles - genuinely this time - and walks over to him.
āHappy Birthday, Mr Stark,ā he says.Ā āThis party is so cool, Sir. Thanks for inviting me.ā
āCome on, kid. Youāre belong to the gang now. Get used to it,ā he manages to say. Fighting back his tears at the sight of Peterās sad little smile is much harder.
āDonāt let me hold you up,ā Peter says, already turning away.
Heās just two steps away when Tony decides to reach after him, to fuck it all and come clean - but then, Pepper steps to him and Tony canāt go after Peter without making a scene. So, he stays and tries his best to fake appreciation for the party. Itās made easier by the fact that he does appreciate Pepperās efforts, heās just too preoccupied to enjoy their result.
He ends up playing a drinking game with Thor and Nat. Itās a certain way of drinking himself into oblivion and thatās fine by him. It also has the added bonus of having his back to Peter whoās talking to Rhodey now. He knows this, because he couldnāt resist glancing towards him every few seconds for the whole evening.
After what seems likes an hour and couldnāt have been more than ten minutes judging by the amount of alcohol still in the bottle, Tony turns to check on Peter again. He stares at something. Rhodeyās talking to him and laughing but Tony can tell even from this distance that Peterās not listening. Heās torn between going to ask him if somethingās wrong and keep ignoring him, knowing full well what is wrong.
But as he moves to turn back to the game, Peter raises his eyes and looks straight at him. His expression is unreadable. Tony sees confusion and hurt flash across it, and then something bright and alive that he hasnāt seen the whole night. Tony canāt look away. When he sees Peter standing up, he moves almost immediately.
By the time they reach each other, tears are streaming down Peterās face. He hits Tony in the chest, but his movement is more desperate than anything. He clutches at the front of Tonyās shirt almost as if he needed it to be able to stand.
āIt was you,ā he breathes. Tony knows that it was him but is a complete loss for words, because how could Peter have found out? Then, his gaze shifts from Peterās tear stained face to the phone gripped in his other hand.
Peter notices it and shoves the phone at his chest. The glimpse Tony gets is enough for him to recognise the picture and to put two and two together.
Rhodey was the only one who could out him, but Tony never thought about it twice because his friend doesnāt do social media. Not does he talk to Peter. Except when Tony puts them together. He wants to laugh and sob at the same time.
āWhy?ā Peter asks pleadingly.
āCome with me,ā Tony manages to get out and takes hold of Peterās hand as he leads him up to his apartment. He pours a glass of cold water for the boy before he turns to face him again.
āIām sorry. Iām so sorry, Peter. What I did was wrong and I have no excuse,ā he confesses, barely able to hold Peterās gaze.
āWhy would you do it?ā Peter asks, broken.
Because I love you is the only honest answer to Peterās question but Tony canāt say it.
Peter steps closer to him.
āIā¦ I wanted to talk to you. In a way I couldnāt in real life,ā Tony admits, ashamed, and now itās Peter who stays silent. After a few moments, Tony goes on. He must say it, even though it is useless.Ā āIt was utterly selfish and bound to hurt you and I am so very sorry, Peter.ā
Peter still doesnāt say anything.
āYou really fucked me up, Mr. Stark,ā he laughs through his tears eventually, cupping Tonyās face.
Tonyās eyes go wide and his breath hitches. He wants to asks Peter what heās doing, but all he can do is stare into those beautiful dark eyes, alight again, but with something Tony has never seen in them before.
āI thought Iāve got over you when I fell for Toby,ā Peter continues and strokes Tonyās face.Ā āI knew it couldnāt be so easy,ā he laughs again.
Tony is rooted to the spot. Does he dare believe what he hears? Peter wanted him? Peter wanted him even before? He loved Tony back all the time.
He feels like a complete idiot, utterly undeserving of the beautiful boy in his arms - when did he pull Peter to himself? when did he slid his hand to the back of his head? when did they get so close that their breaths mix?
āI love you, Peter,ā Tony says, his voice ringing clear once more.Ā āCan you forgive me for being such a coward?ā
āOnly if you show me all those sexy old pictures of you,ā Peter teases before rising up and pressing his lips to Tonyās.
