Untitled

by Mel Mendoza

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Would You Like to Hear a Story?

It’s my story.

A rather personal story.

It’s the story behind some of the most important decisions I’ve ever made… will make… have yet to make.

In order to understand my coming out story, it is crucial for you to understand where I come from. So bear with me as I try to articulate an abridged history.

Part I: Living the Lifestyle

I was born and raised as a Jehovah’s Witness [JW]. The important thing to know about Jehovah’s Witnesses is that religion, for them, isn’t just about going to church on Sunday every once in a while. Being a JW is not just being in a religion, it is the taking up of a lifestyle. Usually, all your friends are from the congregation and your entire family are JW’s. Your entire social network and support system are tied to your religious beliefs. You are taught that there is nothing of true value outside of the Organization [aka Organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses]. This is where I came from.

One of my first girl crushes was Kimberly from the Power Rangers. I fawned over the Olsen Twins; and while all my friends started dating boys all I could think about was how good Eden looked in her PE uniform. Still, coming from a very religious and sheltered life it was hard to come to terms with my sexuality. Though I couldn’t pin point what it was, deep down I knew that what I was feeling was wrong. The Society’s (aka Church/Organization’s) view on homosexuality was clear: anyone who partakes in any sort of homosexual behavior is sinning and can expect to face disciplinary action from God and the Congregation.

I tried my best to overcome my feelings once I recognized them for what they were. I did everything in my power to work against it. In the meantime, I fell into depression and self-harm. I could not confide in anyone, or hope that they would understand how I felt. When I was at my worst, I tried to confide in one of my sisters who was not a JW at the time. I ended up not telling her because my mother had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I didn’t want to put another weight on their shoulders. If I were to tell anybody else, I would end up in the elders room where I would be facing an inquiry and possibly even charges against me.

Here is also another acoustic version of a song. This time it’s Britney Spears latest single “Perfume" but this version features Sia (the writer of the song). Hopefully a complete version of the track with only Sia's vocal will come out because this signer got an amazing voice and she is slaying her part in this acoustic rendition of “Perfume”.