did you think I was kidding?

HELLO FRIENDS I know it's been a while!

This weekend I'll be headed to PAX East in Boston! I have swanky business cards and everything.

in other news:

Rex Hightower has been updated so you have the option of playing it right from the page, no download necessary (though you can still download it if you'd like).

Also, I've started working on a new Twine adventure, which I hope to release in the next month or two (I'm moving in a few weeks, so that'll eat up some time). More on that as it develops!

Fight, flee, and f*ck your way to a normal life.

You are Rex Hightower. You fucked a dragon once. Saved the kingdom. But now your dick shoots fire and that's not really working for you. In this interactive fiction that had players laughing their asses off, Rex stumbles through the woods to find his way back to a normal life. Please buy it, I need money to replace all these people's asses.

I now take Paypal!

Also available on gumroad!

An interactive story game available on itch.io and Gumroad!

Fight, flee, and f*ck your way to a normal life.

PUTTING YOUR MONEY WHERE MY MOUTH IS:

if Rex Hightower reaches $100 in sales, I will go to Kenka in the East Village and eat an entire plate of bull penis. I will (literally) eat a dick in service of this story about getting your dick (figuratively) eaten.

There will be photographic evidence. I would promise video but this is going to be at a restaurant and that seems tacky.

Fight, flee, and f*ck your way to a normal life.

In this game you are Rex Hightower, the hero known as the Dragonfucker, who saved the Kingdom of Whaterre from a terrible fate. Your heroic exploits were not without consequence, however, and now you must start a new quest to set things right.

So I feel like I should write something about Rex Hightower now that it's done.

Rex Hightower is a mixed-race, pansexual (well more like pots-pans-and-the-whole-kitchen-sink-sexual), cis dude. He's cis because the game more or less revolves around his dick. He fucked a dragon once. He was a joke character in Bender of Destiny because I wanted to write a character who was a bit of an arrogant meathead and he stole the show because it turns out I have a knack for writing idiots I guess.

I started writing the game in January of this year, right after I finished Bender and right before I lost my job. Over the course of the year I'd write in fits and starts, hit a block, throw things out (there were two choices very early on that were supposed to lead to entirely separate stories but they just didn't seem to fit), and then get inspired to start again. A lot of what inspired me to pick back up was hearing comments from friends about how much they liked Bender and were looking forward to Rex. I would not have finished this without them.

I've spent the first half of 2014 struggling to find a new job and also getting a hold of my depression - after some false starts I'm finally on steady medication and it's been making a great difference. I feel like sitting down and getting Rex Hightower done and out there is a tangible sign that things are improving, that I'm capable, that I can still see things through.

Rex Hightower isn't about that, though. It's about a dude with questionable judgement stumbling around the woods. It's about me throwing things in his way, leaning back with steepled fingers, and saying "good luck dickin' your way out of this one, buddy." It's about four dollars.

(That's inaccurate: it is precisely four dollars.)

Fight, flee, and f*ck your way to a normal life.

REX HIGHTOWER AND THE UNICORN'S KISS IS NOW LIVE

IT'S DONE

I DID IT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

ah yes it is Computer Parlor day and I am so fancy!

...incredibly fancy...

...the fanciest...

...yes..

OH. I'm also TOTALLY WORKING ON MY GAME, TOO. LOOK.

bullshit your way to victory, or doom us all

Hello once again, just reminding you to check out my short (really short) story game! It's made in Twine so it runs right in your browser and it's free to play (though if you like what you see, there's a little 'support this game' button where you can donate).

Humor! Hangovers! Nine different endings, some of which you actually survive!