Untitled

Tarzan, specifically his fight scenes in film/shows turned me gay.  And while I know this is cliché for me to crush on Tarzan; it is cliché for an obvious reason - Tarzan cemented my gay origin story.  While I had an interest in guys before Tarzan, my obsession with this character truly cemented the idea in me that I was in fact gay.  Life was different back in the 1990's / early 2000's, and admitting to yourself that you were gay was a huge step, essentially the equivalent of potentially cutting off all your friends and family.  Don't get me wrong things were better than earlier periods however, you honestly never knew how some of those difficult conversations would go and I personally found myself dumped by all my high school friends after coming out.

But I digress and to put it simply, Tarzan was proof that girls didn't do it for me as I would go to long and difficult lengths just to catch a few minutes of a muscled, shirtless Tarzan fighting off some villain.  I recall staying up past midnight waiting to record some old Tarzan movie on AMC or kicking myself later when I missed some appearance on TV. 

Tarzan and the Lost City - Mike Henry It was all worth it to stay up until dawn and shift through the entire movie for just a few minutes of Tarzan looking hot and sweaty wrestling with a villain.

Another point I want to clarify is this post doesn't include just Tarzan but all of this "type" meaning a shirtless, muscled, tanned, and most importantly masculine protector in the jungle or otherwise "badlands" battling villains.  In addition to Tarzan, I'd place Deathstalker, Gor, John Carter, the Beast Master, even George of the Jungle, in this genre.  

George of the Jungle - Brandon FrazierIt was a confusing time to be a young boy and attracted to George.  Admitting it was like telling someone you had a thing for a cartoon character.

Tarzan represented a pattern for me; I would get giddy when I saw a show of this type was airing, I would sit through hours of parts that were of no interest to me, just for a few minutes of payoff.  I also need to mention that this guy is most likely the mold for my ideal type of guy today - hyper masculine but compassionate, tanned, tall, and strong enough to fuck someone up.  Lastly, one thing that is hard to acknowledge but I need to for the sake of self-discovery, this "hero" was almost always a white guy and I do wonder what part this plays into my current tastes in guys.  For example, how often am I attracted to a certain guy because he was imprinted on me in my youth as the masculine stallion to idolize? 

Mike Henry as Tarzan Tall, masculine, and Hairy. A young me fantasizing about him gave me no doubt I was gay.

In any case, the sexy, nearly-naked Adonis left a deep mark on my subconscious and has repercussions on me to this very day. Watching a strong, masculine guy fight off the bad guy will forever be a small part of my origin story on what made me gay.  

Selected Appearances [Not all shown]

Now the biggest question ... who is the hottest Tarzan?  Without a doubt Mike Henry is the hottest Tarzan to me.  Feel free to disagree but again this is just an opinion. 

Hottest (Mike Henry)

Tarzan and the Valley of Gold - Mike Henry  Hairy, Tall, shows lots of leg and plenty of fight scenes

Runners Up

Tarzan in Manhattan and a Television series - Joe Lara 

Tarzan the Ape Man - Miles o Keeffe

Tarzan, the Ape Man - Denny Miller Hot, but too bad Tarzan was hairless back then

The Legend of Tarzan - Alexander Skarsgard I did try to like this movie, but one of the most appealing things about Tarzan is his legs and we don't see a lot with him 

Tarzan and the Lost City - Casper Van Dien  I also tried to like this iteration (after seeing him in Starship Troopers) but there was just something I couldn't enjoy about it.

Similar movies 

George of the Jungle - Brandon Frazier

Gor - Urbano Barberini

John Carter - Taylor Kitsch

Deathstalker II - John Terlesky

-

For the original post, check out: