IMPOSSIBLE SELF PORTRAITS, VARIOUS SIZES, in MIXED MEDIA and OILS with a PHYSICS TEXTBOOK
1. the frame of this painting is just a cliff and there i am: a freely falling object moving freely under the influence of gravity alone. i am neglecting air resistance. i am falling through life. hello. this one is the myth i tell myself in the shower.
2. My Second Law: me, Accelerating Inversely Proportional to my Dead Grandfather. Oil on Sky, 18x72in. Installation, ongoing.
3. This painting is on a pendulum between ALONE and TOGETHER. The pendulum is a finely painted story, and it is always in both places at once, but vigorously swinging back and forth, too. It’s installed in a café, with a book pressed open to page 43 on the table in front of it and lipstick stains on the empty café con leche. It is called Center of Mass.
4. this is a painting where i’m not getting into a car crash because that’s not how i die. it’s small, in an ornate goldcolored frame, of the word (in crisp bright red lettering) “collision.”
5. thick paint strokes are Don Quixote brandishing his sword at a windmill and shouting angrily YOUR ROTATIONAL DYNAMICS REMIND ME OF THE CYCLE OF EMOTIONS I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY WEEK! it’s impossible for two reasons: 1 because his back is turned to us so we can’t know he’s angry, which we need to know in order for the painting to work 2 because there were no english speech bubbles in that time period of spain and this is a painting in the realism style. note: it is acceptable for this painting only, if your grandfather wants to come back from the dead so he can mispronounce KEE-HO-TEH as QUIX-OH-TEE.
6. osmosis is the diffusion of water across a selectively permeable membrane from a high water concentration to a low water concentration : Tears on Onionskin which Perfectly Reproduce the Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip where Calvin Tells his Mom to Stop Anthropomorphizing her Onions (credit to: Bill Watterson 1995). Framed by a Smirk. Made possible through a generous contribution by the Goddess of Catharsis.











