No Hecks for Techs

“This water slaps.”

“This is church. They wanna feel the lord and that bass.”

“Have you ever served a punch bowl full of warm milk at a party before?”

Stage Manager: “Alright spots you’re just gonna stay on him. He’s gonna be working that pole like a stripper.”

ATD: Not here. Monkey bars. 3pm.

Our Assistant TD: As Snoop Dogg once said: “No stress. No seeds. No stems. No sticks. Some of that real sticky icky icky. Ooh wee! Put it in the air.”

If you ever leave candy or flowers behind after a show you have probably just made some technicians significant other very happy that night.

“Jingle bells are just a festive shake weight”

“Purgatory would be an infinite light hang and focus”

Tech 1: I didn’t write it, you can’t blame me.

“Girllllll is that jimmy johns? Fuck me up”

“A honk is just a hood toot”

“I DIDN’T LICK YOUR FOREHEAD YOU FOREHEADED MY LICK”

All other techs: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“DID YOU TOUCH HIS THROAT SWORDS!?”