PHOTOGRAPHER

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“You could make a horror movie about my life.  My mom died of cancer when I was five, and my father tortured me.  I mean tortured.  Really tortured.  Chained me to a chair.  Slapped me with leather.  It was like Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining.’  Every single day.  He’d never say a thing.  He’d just kick down my door and come after me.  I was born into hell.  I spent twelve years alone with a demonic presence.  And now I’m nervous.  Really nervous.  I play the piano to calm myself down.  I always have these thoughts they aren’t even my thoughts: fat fuckers, fucking bastards, fuck all of them.  They’re my father’s thoughts.  The violence is inside of me.  My energy is black, black, black.  I used to kill little birds when I was a kid.  Then I moved on to cats.  By the time I was seventeen I was beating the shit out of everybody.  Bigger than me, taller than me, I didn’t care.  It was more torture to keep it inside.  If I kept the violence inside I’d mutilate myself.  Suicide myself.  A few years ago I set a guy on fire.  It was 3 AM.  He was passed out beneath a bridge.  Just some druggie.  I didn’t feel a thing.  I felt like laughing.  If anything, I felt free.” (Montreal, Canada)

— Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin