when u accidentally pour too much alcohol into ur mixed drunk and u have to tough it up Bc momma didn’t raise a quitter

welcome to applebees would you like apples or bees?

what do other people have against subtitles? like bitch,.. my ears are Not Friends with my brain, let me have my captions

This is the most punk rock thing I’ve ever seen

What gets me is that initial pause. The bird knows this song. He knows when the drum comes in. Being able to anticipate musical rhythm is a form of intelligence very few species have, and this is the most remarkable example of it I’ve ever seen in a bird. The cockatoo knew to wait for the drums.

I hate the word “discourse” it just sounds like Goofy saying “discuss”

this post literally ruined my life

i love little kids that share too much information. today a girl came in with her mom to order food and i told her i liked her dress. she said “thanks my mom stole it from target”