noctrlplusz

We all want that big, all-encompassing love. We want the fire, the romance, the sparks and the never-ending passion. We want the person who both challenges and supports us. The one who will never stop trying. And yet none of us are willing to step up and be that person.

We won’t message first on Tinder. We won’t ask people out on real dates. We won’t double-text, won’t pick the phone up, will not state our actual intentions – sometimes ever – because we’re all too concerned with seeming ‘chill.’ We’ve gotten so wrapped up in protecting our egos that we’ve forgotten what it means to love freely. Or even how to let ourselves feel.

The truth is, the kind of love that all of us are aching for isn’t the kind that plays by the rules. It isn’t the kind that is bred from mind games or from self preservation.

It’s the kind of love that actually involves you opening up. The kind that gets to you. So, if you want that big, passionate, all-consuming love, you’re going to have to go after it. You’re going to have to fight for it. You’re going to have to be willing to put yourself out there in a way that could potentially humiliate or break you. Because at the end of the day, it might.

But if you’re not willing to stick your neck out for love, than you’re never going to meet anyone else who is willing to, either.

Don’t do anything in life that doesn’t give you butterflies.

Don’t be with someone who doesn’t fill you with pleasure to the core, especially from the start. Don’t force a relationship because you’re lonely or you’re tired of being on your own. Those relationships won’t give you butterflies, they won’t make your stomach turn, and they won’t have you jumping up and down waiting for him to come pick you up at the front door.

Even when you are in love you still shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t give you butterflies and who doesn’t make you giddy with excitement, even after months and years of being with them, because love should never be boring. Of everything in life that might be boring, your love and your relationship shouldn’t be.

Don’t live somewhere you hate because you’ve always called it ‘home.’ Don’t spend time with people who you aren’t excited to see, even after not seeing each other for a while. Don’t work a job that makes you miserable because you don’t know what else you’d do.

Make moves. Explore. Wander off. Go on an adventure. Become whoever you want to be. The possibilities are endless in this world.

It’s simple. Please don’t settle. Don’t do anything you’re not passionate about because when you don’t have passion, you have nothing. Don’t do things out of obligation. Don’t stay in relationships because you’re comfortable or you feel trapped. Break free. Live for you. Make yourself happy. Figure out what gives you butterflies and stick with it, and never let it go.

What hurts the most is to realize that I have fallen in love with the idea of love and the idea of you; not the real you.