Critical Mission Failure

idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great

Happy horse on mars day

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

Audreyyyyy 😭 💕💕💕

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

like many people have said this better than me but no it IS odd that we've come to think of potatoes as so quintessentially european that their presence in historical fantasy where they're anachronistic doesn't jar. and yes people are trying to have the trappings of post-colonial europe without engaging w the icky colonialism part and yes people are neglecting to imagine what a european cuisine without potatoes would be like.

im fully in favour of 'let people have fun w their fantasy world' but is considering how the potatoes got there in the absence of colonialism not a fun exercise? maybe every year the dragon riders go on a great transatlantic potato pilgrimage

the movie solves the central flaw of book ryland grace, which is that he feels so much like the author’s special boy. he never really worked in his field but everyone agrees he would have been the best. he makes simple discoveries individually before anyone else in the world does. people are always relying on him to explain things they wouldn’t plausibly need explained. he learns an alien language in a week. he’s a scientist but he’s too good for animal testing. he’s the smartest guy alive but he’s conveniently told this by every other character so he doesn’t ever have to think it. there is no other word for it, it’s cringe. thank god they made him ryan gosling, who gives grace an inherent failure energy which 100% fixes him

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)

True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, hospitals and medical buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.