taming my soul

What I've recently realized is that to love is a choice. It's not really just waiting for that magical feeling. The euphoria could be from the infatuation, from fantasies unfolding, from whatever chemical reaction our brain concocts so we can "feel" something. But those things are not, in themselves, LOVE.

Maybe it will start as that majestic feeling, but when the dust settles, you will realize that you will have to make a choice. When the normalcy creeps in, slowly blowing away the euphoria, when you both have to face the realities of life, when the practical questions and discussions look you in the eye... you will have to make a choice. It's no longer because you want to bask in magic and blush as you do. It's no longer that in the core of it.

What remains is a choice. A choice to respect, love, care for, support, inspire, and be happy with someone--despite everything that you've gone through, and anything that may come your way--unconditional.

But I’ve been quite juvenile lately--being foolish, stupid... is this really how this works? is this really what it feels like?

How could you be not a hundred percent sure but still be willing to give everything you can? in other words, how could you be more than willing to take such a risk? at first, i thought it was because i was hoping to get something in return, but the more entangled in this that i get, the more i realize that i really don’t care if i get anything in return anymore.

The singles (all of which are okay and I’ve appreciated in different levels the first time they were released) sound so much better when listened to as part of the whole! Her artistry in this ALBUM is incredible. I gush at her ability to develop herself as an artist. She is no longer just a singer-songwriter.

So as much as I have this special place in my heart for the Red Era, I am amazed at how Taylor has evolved. That girl who turned songs into diary entries (raw, heartfelt, honest, relatable) (naturally so since she began as a country artist and country music is more about storytelling) has expanded her horizons (her transition—Red, beautiful but criticized as not being sonically cohesive has driven her to be more focused and decisive, which she has obviously applied to 1989, and apparently Rep) and now successfully dominates pop music.

Tay’s always been so...... amazing at coping. I mean, of course she feels pain and sadness and might also sometimes wallow in self-pity and doubt... but, for some reason, she manages to fight and... build castles. It’s really in her blood, in her core, i think.

She has this story about a negative encounter with her parents driving her to write Love Story... and about a fresh wound off a heartbreak causing her to storm into her bedroom and write The Story of Us...

she’s turned bricks to castles... again and again and again. (Don’t forget how Red not winning Album of the Year shaped her artistic decisions with 1989)

She ain’t perfect, she’s clear about that. (Maybe I got mine (karma), but you’ll all get yours) (I brought a knife to a gunfight)...