404 Not Noah

Love that Jon is using his spooky magic "compel-you-to-answer-my-question" powers to blackmail that one parking enforcement officer.

I just finished MAG 98 and things are going smoothly.

Strangely enough I feel like there's less things that I want to write 14 paragraphs about lol. Things are somewhat more straightforward, and any current mysteries I'm not really on the cusp of figuring it out, so I'm not really like "AHA I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING"

That said very swaggy very swaggy. Favorite part between this update and the last was when that one cop (Daisy) was talking to Elias and he just goes "Statement begins" and starts listing stuff he should not know about her.

Peak writing, they put their archivussies into that one. Love.

Very pleased. Top tier. Honestly I guess that isn't really that much of a spoiler at all without context but idk 🤷‍♂️

Just a bit later. MAG 78. So we've busted it wide open. Sasha is confirmed snatched. Table is binding the snatchers. Jon (stupid) destroyed the table that bound the snatchers. Michael showed up and doored Jon off.

Why is Michael kind of fruity tho. Like if there was ever an mysterious reality bending inter-dimensional being who was fruity, it would be Michael. Bro was like

✨✨"Youuuu need a dooorrrr 💅💅💅"✨✨

We're kicking off now but I'm leaving myself on a cliffhanger as motivation to do my homework.

Also

Ok so it's basically confirmed at this point no? Like she's still going to the wax museums to see her "boyfriend". Jon was... going through her desk... as most normal bosses do... doesn't matter. Found some photos of her and supposed "boyfriend" and was saying they felt "off" and "like stock photos" Then on top of that she just showed up in the tunnels to "check on him" okkkkk ookkkkkk Sasha sUURRRREEE and Jon was like "she seemed somewhat taller somehow" CUZ SHES BEEN BODYSNATCHED JON It's just like those students in the anatomy class that were like rearranging their bones, literally the same thing.

OOOOoookay Sasha SURE you're just going to the wax museum to go talk to your "boyfriend". You're just staring at the table because you think it looks cool sureeeeee.

She's pulling a page straight from the book of middle school me. "Yeah I literally have a girlfriend guys she just goes to a different school totally yeah"

She's literally like those anatomy students from that one episode she's going to look at the wax sculptures and she's rearranging her bones to look more human. Smh smh

----------------------------

Wormy lady is dead (I have my doubts, she's coming back mark my words)

Everyone lived except Gertrude. Turns out someone shot her and I agree with Jon that it's very suspish that she got killed in some tunnels and everyone was just like "Weird I wonder where she is these days, certainly not in the strange tunnels under our facility"

Now for the main part: Something got Sasha guys.

You're telling me she was screaming and being like "I see you." and someone else said "I see you" back- and then you just don't mention it and pretend nothing happened.

Bull. Something got her guys she said she found a table that Jon mentioned and I REMEMBER THAT ONE it's the table the spooky people delivered.

And then she just oops I lost the tape? riiiiiiighttt sure "Sasha" sure...

I listened back and the tape she lost was the one guy who kept having stuff disappear and the spooky vase.

So my current theory is that the table is mind controlling her to get rid of the tape. Because maybe the vase and the table are related and the table said "We can't let them know about the vase." So yes my prediction is that season 2's big baddie is the evil table gremlin and her army of inanimate furniture.