far out, man

i am as white as a white american can get and the thought of using the white color emojis sickens me to the bone. bitch if you dont make me simpsons yellow

had a friend tell me once she would NEVER eat a fig because “did you know they are pollinated by WASPS??” a lot of people do not think about anything ever

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

i think it's so funny wehave like letters and whatever from Tolkien talking about how he fucked up with the orcs. it's ao funny

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

The science behind THC + alcohol as a combination is literally soo interesting because it basically causes the crimson red duckling in your body to confront the serpent in the bronze vessel of your heart. Basically you feel good because the duckling is able to eat the harmonious seeds stored within the vessel and transfer these positive energies into your body. You can have bad highs when this happens if the duckling awakens the serpent and it bites the duckling. The interesting part is when you ingest alcohol after THC because it floods the vessel and causes the serpent to fall into a deep sleep. The duckling never gets attacked by the serpent when this happens because it is unconscious and the duckling is actually able to get fat from the harmonious seed, which causes an enjoyable sensation.

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

fuck this post sucks hard

So if you split open a giant peach and there’s a magic baby inside that you are then forced to raise do you still eat the peach or would that be too awkward

I take a puff and then look at the chimpanzee I am supposed to be taking care of. with my enhanced empathy I know he badly wants a little bit. he does the universal primate gesture for give here. I hand him the joint, he carefully disassembles me like a lego house

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.