delizie terrene

hi journal.

it's me again. after one whole year. my last post? march 24 2025.

it seems that I end up writing here every time I hit rock bottom. to be honest, I'm surprised I haven't written anything during this past year. now that l think about it; oh boy, a lot of things did happen.

but I am not here to write about what happened. this is not a life journal. I am not really keeping track of the facts or incidents that took place. for sure no. I am writing because I miss writing. last year I had promised to myself I would write more. I have been working on my poetry book since 2019. I would lie if I said it's going well. not that it's going bad. It's just that, it's not really going. anywhere. I have written 117 poems that would potentially fit in this book. I am happy with just three of them whatsoever.

I do not know how people post things online or let alone how artists publish their work. It seems impossible to expose yourself in any way in this generation. and yes okay, you can say I am doing that now. but the only reason I do that here, is because I am the only one who reads this journal. my future self specifically.

so yes. I am happy with just three of them. I really wanted to publish this book next year. but this goal seems to be fading away as months pass by. you see, this book I am working on, it's in my mother tongue, greek. and as you know, I haven't been living in my homeland for years now. I am currently in Iceland. and it's really hard to keep up with greek. I have no greek friends here, I work in English, I socialise in English, I travel and shop in English. I feel like I'm forgetting my greek. and it's so sad. I used to have a really beautiful vocabulary. now every time I speak greek I sound like a 15 year old. I use the same words in one sentence. I speak like these social media personas where they use "like" every three words.

how am I supposed to write a whole book in a language that I barely speak anymore? I guess that's one of the negative aspects of immigration. You lose track of who you are. I need to be writing more.